aryberry

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About aryberry

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  1. everything is BS. you don't convince me that meditation is any different from your preferred dose of BS. if it don't work for you then go masturbate in a corner or something, and let me do my meditation in peace.
  2. I am not a very passionate person in my feelings - for me the way that I "be" passionate is by my flow of energy and thought. if I am flowing, then I am "in the zone" and things that get me in the zone easier is what - after a few years of reflecting - I realized are my passions. my passions are not felt, but instead, done. So since discovering that I've been working to find ways to shift the way my thoughts and awareness and actions are - from the "lazy/unmotivated" state to the "doing/passionate" state - and for me, meditation helps, visualization helps, and saying things like "I am taking this over there" when the "stream" begins to stutter gets me back on track. being in the moment, while also visualizing my plan, for me is a way to bolster passion with things that lack it, or during days where my mood is low. I also think that getting past that first unmotivated barrier for me makes a big difference. for you I do not know - I am me. maybe you are the same and it is a matter of training yourself to shift your mood from sleep mode to action mode. maybe it is different - but then my best advice is to listen to your body and be aware both when you are down and also when you are active. notice the differences and find ways to negotiate with yourself to encourage the right things to happen to switch those differences from low to energy.
  3. think of your allies as if they are an extension of your body. if you run by slamming your feet into the ground, you put out a lot of work and most of it doesn't accomplish the goal of propelling you forward. you build muscle - but muscle that's designed to push you up, not forward. with your allies - by fighting them and pushing them, you're creating extra energy that leads nowhere. you may be working 10 hours some days - but how much of that work actually accomplishes your goals? your teachers are like your liver. when they give you a bad grade it is as if your liver is dying. it is not your liver being bad at its job - it is simply responding as it is designed to, to what you are feeding it. if your teachers give you bad grades - it is because your work deserves those grades - and you need to accept that. we may think that drinking a lot of alcohol was good for our stress - but the truth is it was destroying us. only when you look towards yourself - can you begin to notice how your work truly does need to improve - and with patience, you will find healthier ways to accomplish your goals. and one last thing - sometimes the environment is in fact toxic and unfruitful. in such an environment, we need to remove ourselves from it - and if we cannot because we are dependent on it, then we need to patiently search for alternative sources of what we need. if you can, change classes - maybe it is too late this semester, but keep that in mind next. or - change schools. if you can't and even changing classes leaves you in a toxic environment - and you are sure it is not you who is the toxic element - then learn how to play their game on their terms, patiently waiting for graduation when you can find a new environment.
  4. I do not know. myself, I have observed to be more intuitive all my life... developing into a logical person after the fact... and my logic and emotion go hand in hand... I saw a video talking about how "breaks" are great to increase productivity, where a break is not stopping work to go on face book - but rather, taking time to rest, nap, walk in nature. it was said that these types of breaks allow the brain to loosely connect things we do not see.... something about two types of focus or something... but the idea came to me then, to think. when I have felt inspired by intuition before, it is in these moments. and not only that, but this sort of sounds like a form of meditation that those who aren't very aware can respect as meaningful... if that makes sense in a way that isn't rude lol. I am sorry for rambling... but I guess my main point is, that often when I've felt lost or irritated over a problem at work. I would pace, go for a walk... get away from distractions, to allow me to think. but my thinking would not be focused thinking... in this "mode" of focus it is difficult to stay focused because our mind wanders. it is like when you're reading a book and keep re-reading the same paragraph because your brain is thinking about other things, and to be honest your memory of what you were thinking about is vague, but yet at the same time you feel good, relaxed, sort of "focused" even tho you are not at all focused it is hard to explain. I do not think this answers your question. but it is the point from which I myself am approaching the same question. I heard Leo say in a video, that when it is ego it tries to defend itself. but when it is intuition it is silent, or calmly returns to the same thought, draws you back to it. I am unsure how I myself could make use of that advice... I feel as if when I am inspired by intuition, thoughts lead one into another - not as if to defend, but as if to explore. and I am unaware so far... if that is indeed intuition, or if I am actually masking intuition with too much ego... hm....
  5. visualizing with the interest of pursuing long-term goals and understanding short-term tasks is fundamentally different than sitting down and playing a videogame because you want to release stress or relax.
  6. nah I find it imperative that we reconcile the social nature of humanity with our goals of self-actualization. it is like the wind eroding sharp edges. the form we take is the stone. eventually the wind brings us back to dust, but throughout that journey we have form, and the wind smooths the minor edges of the form, but does not destroy the form. Our natural behavior is to be social - in some, we do discard the social for pursuit of authenticity, but for most we hold the form of social interest. the wind flows around that form without disruption, and in fact for most of our life emboldens that form by removing the flaws which disrupt it - the anxieties and addictions that make us behave poorly. Perhaps the wind shifts where our existence rests, moving our form from one position to another. Some reach the form of monastery work, but most do not. this is all natural. we individually find various ways to pursue authenticity. as a group, we find stronger methods of that pursuit. but this does not mean we should all as a species discard our natural form in order to erase it so the wind flows without disruption. if this were what should happen, we would simply mass suicide. but the wind would not care if we did that, or if we held our most jagged form. mindfulness work is nothing more than allowing the wind to smooth the ruggedness of our form. ps. perhaps the better analogy is the formation of snowflakes. the wind puts us into form by chance, and that form builds upon itself until it crashes into the ground. Desert sands would show both these anologies actually - the wind forms a dune, and shapes it throughout its life. eventually the dune becomes one with the desert again.
  7. are we really so singular? you appear to find duality in a dream necessary. but I find myself conversing with myself all the time. I hold complex scenarios in my head with ease. and this is when I'm consious... and distracted. a dream being nondual sounds pretty easy to accept, much more easier to accept than reality nondual.
  8. get it? get it? hehehe. nothing matters. hehehe.
  9. you highlight their text, and then hover over with the mouse. "quote this" appears and you can click on it. sometimes that popup doesn't show tho... if I try three or four times with no result, I refresh the page and this gets it to work in the next 1-4 tries. I am unsure how this is done on mobile. I think a mouse is needed to mouse-over.
  10. Leo do you have a thought on if members confuse each other? heh. if they do sometimes confuse each other, do you find it annoying sometimes - and in general, when things annoy you, does this lead you to anger? I imagine however, that you do not often see merit in an outburst due to anger or frustration. or do you? personally I enjoy making silly motions with my arms to release energy. in this way I am having an outburst with strong emotions, but this is not harmful to others. hehehe. I wonder if I will pursue non-intrusive means of expressing my strong feelings, or if I will end up pursuing internal methods of preventing external actions. this is under the assumption that there is a me to be external to, of course... but for the time being this is the paradigm I understand using.
  11. I've heard it discussed that there are local limits. that the rules of reality are a phenomena we observe because we are a small perspective looking at a small event. mindfulness work is a way to increase our awareness, which increases our limits. I suppose what a yogi is capable of is very unimaginable for us - magic. what I am capable of now in this moment, is nothing, however - I cannot imagine dying and being not dead. I cannot imagine the wound on my finger to heal within the next day. but if the measurement is large enough - these things are possible.
  12. hello. this past year I discovered that, it is weird that I do not see or hear anything inside my mind. when I close my eyes I only ever see darkness. I know that I do dream with images at night, because rarely, if I am falling asleep or waking up I do see some amount of images, such as a person's face. but, other than that - if I try to picture a person's face, there is no visual thing altogether. while on the flip side - I have heard someone say how their mind's eye is as clear for them as if it were real - closing and opening their eyes is like switching between two tv's - and even, they can do it without closing their eyes! such a thing is unreal to me. I see nothing at all, except what my eyes observe. this is the same with audio signal - though my internal voice is monotone, if I do use words to talk when I think. I actually predominately experience a physical sensation when I think - it is even to the point where there is a subtle, yet distinct physical sensation when I am looking at things in the world, and a strong distinct sense of touch with all sounds - even quiet ones - though I am not entirely sure if with sound it is just a matter of feeling the vibrations with heightened sensitivity. with sight though - it doesn't matter- if it is white or light in color, there is a distinct physical feeling which could be called sharp and painful though it is unlike any sharp or painful feeling I've felt when physically touching anything. and if I look at something black or dark in color - it is a cool sensation, which is kind of similar to the sensation of cool water or a cool basement air. these physical phenomena of senses which my mind experiences when processing internal memory and thought - I assume that this is strange and unusual for me as an individual. do you as an individual feel such things, with your work on awareness? I used to say that I have a sixth sense lol. the sense of information. that when I think of things, well on the one hand when I hold an idea in my head, no matter how I am abstracting it, that abstraction has a size, weight, location, and motion to it which I feel. this is the main physical sensation for me. but there is also a sense of knowledge/information - what it holds. I used to say that anyway, I suppose it can still be said - but that is what I now call awareness, experience, conspicuousness, etc. in your consciousness work - have you become aware of any of these things or similar sensation phenomena - or is this something which is strange for me to experience? best regards!
  13. I do not know how to converse. I am realizing I can do research and mindfulness work towards this! but one way to research this is ask peers so I am wondering about your thoughts regarding conversation. I have been spending 3 years as close to functionally a hermit! even my whole life I have behaved with much introversion, thinking all the time. I have not developed very good communication skills. most of my ability to communicate now, is due to work I've done in the past 5 years, and most of that work was focused on clarity, attentiveness, and comprehension. But, I am blunt, and I tend to only speak up to communicate understanding, explaining things as if I am a mother or professor or master lol, despite the fact that I am looking for discussion, open to opposition. people get irritated with me for telling them what is true, or how they should behave. I wish to cease giving that impression. I am wondering about possibly attempting to use emotion as filler, but a lot of people get weirded out if I speak to them emotionally, or dismissive, which tells me that I intend to communicate the information and am frustrated when they don't care to hear me. maybe it is just a matter of reacting to the situation. and the other thought I had is to change my choice of words - to say "I believe" or "I would" instead of speaking matter of fact. or maybe even saying "well I don't know if what I'd do is right. but what I'd do is..." but of course it takes time to figure this out. so I am wondering if anyone has thoughts or advice on the topic to share. about the meat of a conversation.... maybe I just need to sacrifice my pursuit of understanding when talking with others, unless they bring up the topic, or ask me about it when I mention it briefly, and just go with the flow of what they are offering, and if they are silent try to use tactics to open up the conversation. like it is suggested to ask people about what they think, in a way which isn't too deep but isn't too shallow. but is that basically the strategy that will cover all my conversations forever? it doesn't really explain how to talk about the things I am passionate about. when I am passionate I talk and talk and talk and leave no room! I've said a ton and I am just meandering really. so now I will continue to reflect in silence, so that it is less difficult to discern a response for you guys who are interested in responding lol. though maybe secretly it is only me who has this difficulty - nah that is a foolish thing to believe, it is clear that many people find it fiddicult to converse. or at least a considerable amount of some peopel
  14. An important thing that I've learned is - that we are our own teacher. the wise man, the master, the teacher - they can only be a guide to us, as irrelevant to our understanding as words themselves. however as I am listening I am becoming aware of a conundrum. I wonder if I am listening to their words as if they are truth - I am noting that I want to hear the words as the illusion, and experience my response to the words in a way where I can trust that I am doing the work necessary to reach understanding. in a way I am trying to be selfish lol - to prioritize what I am thinking above the rest. but I am also wondering about how I am holding these thoughts as if they are belief. It is so easy to consider how beliefs are low-consciousness and how I could be letting go of them instead. But even so - on a certain level I believe that my thoughts are correct. but this is not the question of the post I assume. What I am concerned with is the question of - what I am believing, verses what the monk is saying, versus my awareness of this situation. In a way they are all the same thing lol - but I guess really the point is, that I don't want to be hearing the first thing that comes along and believing it as if it is true. and maybe the real place where I dismantle the beliefs is not in hearing another person's words - but instead in my actions. that, when I share my words, attempting to say it in a way where I do not hold it as true or false is what is desired. or when in deciding which to do, I am simply aware that my decision is not right or wrong, and the assumptions it is responding to are not necessarily correct or incorrect. but then I am unsure with that too. because making a decision based off of an idea is the behavior that occurs when that idea is held as true lol. but the point is. when I am listening to a person- well it was said by someone, an important thing to do is listen to someone as if they know something we do not. but, I guess really the question I am asking is, how do we reconcile the idea that a person says something we choose to ignore, and another thing they say we choose to retain in our memory and processing. regardless of whether we hold these things as right or wrong, we are somehow giving life to certain ideas and death with other ideas. and I am unsure how to reconcile the life and death of ideas with letting go of "true" and "false". and I am unsure my future steps towards mindfulness while listening, to both the other and the self, but especially the other, which actually is that also the self? grr how to progress with these thoughts I am conflicted.
  15. I am back - sorry. I feel bad for being confusing so I'm gonna make up for it by dumping more of my thinkings onto you! hope this is fun and not annoying do not mind if I sound like I am telling you what to do. I trust that you understand that words are just words, and the understanding you discover as inspired by your experiences is what matters. [1] of course it could be a hindrance. under-thinking is a hindrance too. finding the balance, is what will work best. there is no definite point of balance. a certain point past too much under thinking has enough of an effect to transcend your current level of consiousness on a meaningful path, and a certain point below over-thinking sees the same thing. and all points in between are where the balance is good. but the thing is - the lowest conscious person still develops over time. the highest-conscious person still develops over time. if you feel you need to take a step back from where you are, why not give it a try. [2] but what is thinking? [3] these are one and the same - the illusion of the physical world is the same illusion which contains the mind. I admit the physical world appears with more consistency - and it is true that manipulating it appears different than manipulating our thoughts. if a car hits us we get injured. but how that injury is real to us is the same as how our thoughts are real to us. So how this applies to your questions here - overthinking is nothing more than spending time with reality. It is less pragmatic - but it is just as real. In a way - the world around us is a higher level than our self - so if we want to think about the world, we can go out and manipulate it and see what happens - and we can ponder what has happened and reflect upon in curiously. these are one and the same - just the manifestation appears to differ. [4] I am in my life attempting to find out how to be more directly productive in my surroundings, and spend less time in fantasy lol. I daydream, I think and then pace and think and think and think. I watch a youtube and then watch another and another, or I post in forums until 5 hours have passed. So I am learning how to work in the real world. I guess it just takes practice and time. I guess - if you want to think so much that it takes all your day, find out how to be a mystic in a monastery with a minimal lifestyle to maximize thinking time. Or find a way to turn your time spent thinking into a sellable asset in the market. but if you don't want either of those - then work to learn how to negotiate with yourself, so that you think when it's time to think and act when it's time to act. I am going for that last option hehe.. [5] I recently heard Leo say in a video that when he speaks of the authentic self.. he isn't talking about identity. I forget what exactly he said. so I am going to explain as best I can what I currently understand of the topic. That existence is nondual infinity. and the authentic self is that nondual infinity. In our manifestation, we are finite - so we never become authentic, because authenticity is.. well, infinity. or nothingness. or God or nonduality or whatever you wanna call it. I am that, you are that, the stone is that, our belly button is that. whatever we do in the material world is That, and in this way it is OK however we choose our actions - and reconciling the meaninglessness of infinity with our existence is more or less what pursuit of the authentic self is. As we work to figure it out, we naturally become more at peace, and in being at peace we find more satisfaction in life. Right now you think a lot. work with that - we can't make a big change all at once - it's hard to quit cold turkey. Leo said in a video or maybe in a post in the "aske leo anything" thread, that he still has the monkey mind now all the time as much as before - the difference is that he responds to it on a more enlightened level. (I am paraphrasing) So to work with your thinking and searching for authenticity: experiment, and be mindful, and work to follow where intuition leads you. [6] I have constantly thought my whole life. the only time I am not thinking is when I am asleep. For me my thoughts have naturally taken the form of direct sensation, rather than sound or words... it is like I thought with touch... and so my thoughts were always very much abstract, which meant a lot of information is represented at any moment. this doesn't mean I'm more intelligent or anything I don't think - tho I have had people comment on how it seemed I spend a lot of time thinking, which well, is true, heh. the point is - I definitely "over" think. it got to a point three years ago - where I was thinking so much it was creating a massive anxiety feedback loop, and I crashed and lost everything and hid in my parent's attic doing nothing because I was too afraid to go outside. the defense mechanism? that was - listening to 3-7 streams of music at once, playing 10-hour repeat songs on youtube on multiple tabs. and playing a lot of videogames. I needed to escape my thoughts. maybe thinking is an escape method - no, it is an escape method. but - well, thinking is existence. when we touch the wall, we think it - and that is how we know it exists. so if you feel that you are thinking too much - then work to think less. but what I can say is - when thinking is too much, it will prevent you from eating enough in a day, it will prevent you from cleaning your space, and it will prevent you from succeeding at work. and there's a good chance you will be trying to escape your thoughts. if you have not reached that point - then it is your decision - think less and do more, or do less and think more. I am sure that it is going to work out fine either way - because all we need to get through this world is make sure we can eat enough to keep us alive til the end, and maintain our immediate environment so that we are safe in it. if that requires thinking - then think. if that requires doing - than do. identify your long term goals, and short term goals, they aren't always the same and often compete. we work to find out how to balance those goals - but as long as we get through properly fed and secure in our environment, then we've done a good job of it. it's our choices that determine how that journey manifests. what is authentic for us is going to happen - and searching for authenticity is only working on our self to pursue what we believe is good for us. and If you are here - then you've identified that what is good for you is self actualization. and.. suddenly I feel as if I've said nothing in this post too. hopefully that is only an illusion. well, it is, lol... sorry lol! You said you enjoy to think, so if you mean the same thing that I mean when I say I enjoy to think, and have bothered to read all the things I said, then you appreciated it. and oh! I appreciated creating these words too. OK! now I can walk away from this moment feeling satisfied with what I've shared