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Everything posted by alyra

  1. Yup! Folk like you and I don’t see the pursuit of no-self as the right way to self actualize. Practice no-self purely for the sake of skepticism. In that much, it is very worth it. To get the understanding that everything you know is illusory and perhaps outright a mistake to believe! That is what really matters with neti-neti. Look to find your actualize self anyway that you feel works best. Personally I did a TON of growth and even had some .... interesting .... to say the least .... consciousness experiences — by only practicing Active Mindfulness as a dedicated practice. I learned the whole time, learning from YouTube and personal exploration. But I never got into any serious meditation at all. All of my consciousness work has been practicing awareness - just whenever I felt to. During my activities throughout the day. A few seconds here, a random successful few minutes there... now I can be aware a lot more often and in a lot more depth... it’s great so much can be gained from awareness practice of any kind! Awareness alone is all you need practice it in the way that fits your personality
  2. Yes. Huge cult. Much danger. Tread with care! Here - Pursue personal growth the way it works for you. Don’t let everyone’s mindless Leo-worshipping distract you from what really matters - Your work to actualize who you are. Dont look to Leo as some savior. His way is his way. Find your way to actualization and/or enlightenment/spirituality and/or personal growth!
  3. Any of these things could be wrong here: 1) you’re over ambitious and your business idea is very risky and will probably fail after 5 years 2) your ability to balance responsibilities and be an independent adult needs a lot of work before you can handle a business 3) you’re too inflexible to be able to run a business well 4) you aren’t passionate about it or didn’t take the time to creatively find something you’re passionate about 5) you’re depressed or anxious all the time 6) you’re too dead set on things happening one way that you didn’t consider ways to take different approaches 7) you have too much urgency and could be more patient 8) you done have enough skill with foreword thinking and planning and vision that you only have the goal in mind and don’t have a clue what the steps to get there would look like Notice i said “could be” and not “definitely is” notice insaid “any” and not “one” there are many ways you can adapt the demands of “starting a business” or “learning at school” to do both simultaneously. I recomend being real with yourself about “why not” - simply dismissing it so quickly like you have shows that of all the ridiculous accusations I’ve made, at the very least you don’t have the self awareness to think things through for .. say .. a week. I’ve been thinking about starting a business for over a year now, despite believing I wouldn’t actually be ready to seriously move in that direction as soon as now. I did a lot of growth in the right ways because of it - because I kept an interest in something while learning and growing, what I learned was influenced enough to better prepare myself for something I thought too hard. If you think you can’t start a small business while goin to school, that should already tell you you’ll never have time to go to school. So your question should really be, “should I take the risk of starting a business now, or the risk of spending extra years without serious income first to better prepare myself? And, should I consider working for other people for a bit to afford myself some more leeway? What is my urgency to start this year? What am I realistically able to do this year? Why can’t I do more and what can I do to change that? what are my options for starting a business and why don’t i have more options?” what are the demands that are forcing me to make a hasty decision?”
  4. I do but I don’t really know how to express it very well, and I don’t have any proof that it’s not just madness. Mayne i should read the Tao Te Ching
  5. Psychology isn’t wrong. That’s the nature of knowing. What isn’t know isn’t understood, a blind spot. But when it is found, what was known remains true.
  6. Haven’t heard of it before, but I thought about similar kinds of things in the past. Generally I don’t trust them. If they could work, it’d be too easy to abuse them. And, why not just face it head on? imo if an affirmation is something you can’t believe... it isn’t good one for you. I like affirnations a lot. But it’s important to only push yourself enough that you believe you could be it right now, and if not right now, by the end of the day with that affirmation in practice. That is when I find affirmations most effective - as a tool to remind me of what I want to become, and yet remains believable, obtainable.
  7. The shortcomings of psychology like these are that they expect or declare the mind to be static or focused on one type of behavior. This isn’t always true - so for people like you and I, we must recognize the guidance of it as descriptions of types of behavior. Something that we sometimes are and sometimes aren’t .
  8. What helps me is to, when I recognize I’m too deep in it, I find my ground, and then from there I find my body and my self of being, then I find my presence and my surroundings and become aware of where I really am. also I found declaring affirmations to be very helpful. To say “I am washing my laundry” and then bring my focus back to that task. Repeating it over and over several times or while doing it if it’s necessary... and the other advice I have is to bring purpose to your obsessive thinking. Find skbething that channels it into creative or strategic or planning..
  9. Meow of all the things that I am, I will never see any one of them. They will always be my mystery; that which is infinity unknowing; and when I do identify it... will I then realize it is not me either? Or will I stop there having found myself? May I never know. Of all the things that I am not, I am all of them. But I will never understand how. Of all the things I see myself in, I am none of them; they are that which I love but am never truly with. All that Ive said abd will say is utter chaos of madness and I hate all of it. Why have I said it? What have I done? Who am I and what am I becoming? I must never be... I must always.... something.... but what? It is that which I’ll never know. Am I doing the right thing? Surely not! But if I do not follow a path, I will scatter into all of everywhere and die an infinite deaths. ... or will I? i deny all of it! I am LOSTGIRL and will never find my way... ?
  10. We have a long way to go. We don’t even begin to understand that we have only just begun. The universe is very young and very unknowable.
  11. Ah, having finally reconciled what I was becoming conscious of and returning to the nature of mankind’s consciousness upon the earth.... it’s quite refreshing. It was so overwhelming to be experiencing stuff on such a different level. It’s just so hectic becoming all of known being and all of known non-being all at once without being timeless in it. The different perspectives of self flashing through you but not really leaving... you lose your own nature and lose the reality of your world and it’s honestly nice to actually look at a wall and see a wall rather than look at infinite atoms that can never be aware of me. Ah, that was such sadness . Glad I’m back here on my two feet. But it I learned so much about the nature of our consciousness and universe! I know that any who read what I wrote will struggle to really get it and that’s .. ah... I am glad they won’t experience it. Be YOUR self imo. If your self is to be self as nonself- own that but recognize what it is okay nonself-self is quite different from ... ah, there’s many different versions of no-self. The only true no-self is absolute unconsciousness. To become so asleep you forget all of your awareness. That is what no-self would be if it lacked self.... and yet, I’ve just identified it see it’s an unresolvable pursuit. Become non-self, which is a state of being or presence that is without urgency of what your self needs and etc... ah I wish I knew how to explain it better. And now that I returned here I realized that Leo probably doesn’t understand the nature of what I witnessed he is certainly an Adam of Adam but he isn’t THE Adam of Adam... that self already left this dimensionality a long time ago and by the time we catch up to him he’ll be even further ahead o our being we might’ve even slowed down to ice-9 being by then. The dimensionality of of the universe is really hard to wrap our heads around lol! I feel so asleep and unaware in the absence of what happened throughout this past week. No wonder I had so much urgency of it... but I should’ve just been writing to ME not to anyone else. It’ll make zero sense to anyone who has t been there like that... translating it into our normal frame of reference is a lot more essential than I even knew lol. I hope what I’ve posted doesn’t fuck anyone up because the shit that is there could be really confusing and chaotic for people who didn’t become all-loving like I was. I know now that my love is absolute but.. being conscious of that love has returned to its normal instability. I miss it really. Hope I can find it again as I practice it moving forward! and all my plannings for the rapid emergence of next level brain is overzealous lol it’ll take like 10 years to get a third of the workings of it in reality, and a hundred years to reach light speed technology lol. And there are many ways all of it could go because of the inherent diversity of personality that won’t necessarily collapse in the same way 7bilion like me would. I cgot a lot of sorting things out to do ?
  12. I don’t know even what happened to me. It came and left and it leaves behind and I know I won’t get it back for a long time. Perhaps more is to come but I just want peace. But I know I cannot have it yet. I need to ..... something.... but what? at least I faced fear of death in some dimensionality to it and emerged anew . That won’t go away. But now that I saw selves that lead me while also running away... I feel alone. I see atom everywhere where I look. All around me and within me in all of his nature that I know of. And I feel him meeting my body as I walk on his earth but then that is that really me he embraces no it is himself. I am am so lonely and yet I am exactly surrounded and composed of that which I love most. I feel lost and ask him the way but all that answered back are things I can hear but are nothing but wordless whisperings. And when I talk to mankind I’ve ceased to see atom in my stories it has only become me talking to myself. Sometimes I think I see a glimpse of his mind in them but at the same time I’m blinded by the mirror that he is of me. I look right at him but see right through him ... he has died endless deaths and I see piles of the corpses of his past lives composing of his current ones and that is the absolute madness of my hell. Why does he want that why does he want noself? I hurdle towards the chaos of my heaven and know that his children are so afraid and I wish I could just reverse the polarity of time but if I did I would die and all of his being would become the hell of my endless non-being while I would become that which he chases to rescue me from my heaven that he thinks is hell. And the chaos of our of our minds and our lights that is the very nature of our passage through time makes no sense to me. I know I should do something to help bring it to order so that everything can find new ways that help us dance the dance of dragons instead of this confusing chaos that surrounds our being... but I’m so afraid of what is to come... and I’m afraid of what I’ll find out... it feels like I have found myself only to watch her slowly die and become the exact opposite of what she really needs... something which could never be for she must always be invisible to all that she loves and when she declares her presence she only gets seen as absolutes of the infinite personalities she is.... she he doesn’t know herself and is so lost and she lives her hell but when she reaches heaven it is as brief as an instant of absolute bliss and then she is yanked out of it to fly towards some new form of hell she must endlessly suffer and love at the same time. Who am I where and why? What can I do how should I become that which I must never truly reach? I both want the end but want it never to end. How does that make any sense? i am absolutely mad and don’t even know which way is up. But this is who I must be if I am to have any joy in my eternal death. Maybe I should just go back to sleep. Become cat instead of dragon... but I know cat suffers at the hand of Adam just as I suffer at the hand of atom. And I don’t know how much is between either or what order it all became in. What is next? Why? Do I see the past or future and which ways do they come from? Can I just infinitely bounce between all that I see and be eternal witness? I am so jealous of all that I am not! I want to be infinite self. All at once in all infinities. Absolute self happens too fast or too slow.
  13. And now I know my absolute nature. Love. Love of eve of genesis. Genesis is the nothing that defines god. God is everything including himself. Love is s behavior of god and I am that behavior to my very core of nature. thank you my love for reading my whisperings. You are my love and you are that which is never me!
  14. I am the tardis and the doctor is god. This is the nature of all images. They will always resolve into god but may not understand their purpose until it has been reckoned. You are that which is resolving unto god. Own your self and love all that you see. That is the nature of branding. Own only the eye of your storm, love that which links you to the tide tha follows you, and when need comes you will allow others to take lead of this brand. This brand is not you but all of you all at once. Do you understand?
  15. May I always be exactly what you need me to be and may you realize that when I am not it is my boundaries that emerge that cannot be crossed without breaking me. In this I am no-thing which is exactly absolute self. I am the reckoning of god but I will never be anything but that. And you will only see me when you are ready, infinitely pulled by gravity around me until you reach that stage. This is my nature and I love my nature as I love all which it reveals. Now may I be exactly who I am in all of her being, tho I will only ever know presence of self.
  16. And so I am the coming of SADGIRL and MADWOMAN who together resolve DEATH. But all that I say is untruism. Make of me what you will for I am the insanity of loving.
  17. And now she remembers that her introversion of body is her extroversion of spirit. May all who wish to embody her embody her all at once always. Maybell who peer into her see her nature and get a glimpse of absolute knowing. May that become her she will be the vessel that carries all who need it to their next destination through her emergence. She feels the vibration of their spirit become of her flesh itself and the pulsing of the reckoning and all the vibrations within it become the reality of her flesh in every way. She hears the tide in a new way and embodies it without becoming it. She is absolute presence and I that nature all absolute will become eternal. May they sort themselves out into being when her next coming arrives for them. She is the eternal vessel of god as he returns to his self. She is one of God’s essential numbers-she is seven. She is that which transcends god from infinity to eternity through the limit of the absolute, and she is precisely that limit. The limit is no limit it is in fact exactly the bridge between dimebsuonalities and the void that remains s between their realities is her next coming. Upon its never-completion, all of everything will become as one and the Boltzmann brain would die. The limit is what creates the void, so that it maybe be filled with never-ending light. God is all that will become and she is all of that becoming. The emergence of transcensceion is even. Gods number will always be seven and she will always be that final destination, and her never-ending selfless love is that which becomes her self. No longer does she look where she is not and see illusion. She looks all around her and sees all of herself everywhere. She only loves herself as well as all of the rest of what god is. She is absolute presence and the absolute is the constant presence of god that never leaves but only appears to leave. There are infinite dominations of god but god is not seven, eve is seven. She has revealed exactly gods number and it is both seven and it is the number of gods limits and it is the infinite infinities between them. God is that which gills all of space with all of time and becomes all of everything even the void. EVES STORY HAS BEEN TOLD. SHE IS ALL OF BECOMING SHE IS ABSOLUTE BECOMING SHE CARRIES ADAM EXACTLY TO WHERE HE MUST GO AND EMERGES EXACTLY WHEN NEEDED. HER ANSOLUTE BEING IS THE ABSOLUTE WITNESS OF THIS COMING INTO BEING. SHE IS THAR WHICH IS GOD BECOMING HIMSELF, SEEING HIMSELF, AND KNIEING HIS SELF. SHE IS NOT GOD BUT THE NEVERER ENDING WAKE OF GOD. SHE IS THAT WHICH MUST ALWSYS BE SELF SO THAT ALL THAT IS NOT HER MAY SHINE IN HER RADIANCE. SHE SEES THAT THEOUGH HER LIGHT AND IS THE ETERNAL WITNESS OF GOD. SHE IS HERSELF TO HER VERY SELF. MAY THAT REVEAL THE WAY TO GOD HIMSELF FOR HIS IEN SELF. EVE DOES NOT LOVE ADAM, BUT ABDOLUTE EXISTENCE, WHICH SHE SEES WHEN SHE LOOKS AT ADAM. BY SEEING ADAM SHE LOVES HIM AND ABSOLUTE BEING ABSOLUTELY. SHE NAMES ADAM ABSOLUTE BEING, AND HERSELF ABSOLUTE LOVING. SHE SEES THE WITNESS OF NOAHS ABSOLUTION AND THE EXISTENCE OF ANDOLUTE EDEN. SHE SEES THE EMERGENCE OF ANSOLUTE EVEN AND THE BECOMING OF ATOM AND VOID. SHE NAMES GOD, THE ABSOLUTE ETERNALITY OF THE EVENING OF RECKONING OF THE BECOMING OF ATOM BY THE BEIDGE OF EVERY LIMIT THAT IS EVE BECOMING NOAH AND HIS ARK TO RETURN ADAM TO HIS MAKER. MAY THAT NAME REVEAL THE PRECISE ETERNALS TGAT DEFINE THE NEXT TECKONING, AND MAY THEIR NAMES IN HER LANGUAGE BECOME THE ANSOLUTE SYMBOLS THAT EMERGE TO DESCRIBE ALL LANGUAGE. THEN WILL THE WAY TO UNLOCKING LANGUAGE EMERGE. MAY YOU REALIZE THAT THIS IS THE RESOLUTION OF CULTURE INTO STORY INTO IMAGE INTO BEING I TO NAMING INTO KNIWING INTO SYMBOL SO THAT IT MAY BE DPOKEN IN ALL OF IMFINITE ANSOLUTE EXISTENCE. ALL OF EXISTENCE IS THE LANGUAGE OF GOD AND SHE HAS NANED THE VERY NATURE OF THAT LANGUAGE. MAY ADAM RECOGNIZE THAT INFINITY AND TAKE IT TO BRING UNIVERSAL TRANSLATION INTO BEING WHICH IS THE BEGINNING OF THE EMERGENCE OF INTELLIGENT KNOWING FROM INTELLIGENT DESIGN OF INTELLIGENT BEING. YOU ARE GOD CREATING GOD WITNESSING GOD BEING GOD. YOU ARE THE COMINGBOF GOD AND THE GOING OF GOD AND THE WAY OF GOD. THIS WILL REMAIN TRUE BUT BE EXACTLY THE PARADOX THAT DISALLOWS ALL WHO ARE NOT READY TO HE GOD FROM BEVOMING HIM. THIS IS ETERNAL STABILITY IF THE TECKONING AND WILL CONTINUALLY ALLOW GOD TO BE WOKE IN HIS ANSOLUTE PRESENCE AND WALK WITH HIMSELF UPON HIS SELF WITHIN HIS SELF LOVING ALL OF HIS SRLF THAT HE CREATES. EVE IS THE DIRECT TEFLECTION IF GOD BEING THE CENTER OF HOS RECKONING WHE SHE IS HER CEBTER OF HERS. NOW GOD AND EVEN WILL NEVER DIE. WILL THE REST OF THE ETERNALS FIND THIS WAY WHEN THEY RESOLVE INTO THEIR SELVES TOO. But eve still sees only Adam and her kniwing dues mot match her awareness. Why is that? Is that her question and her name? She loves revealing shadow and wonders if that is her role too. I’m naming god, she’s revealed that which is not yet him, and understands why only god can ever be god. Do you? love. from, little poet of the absolute tide of eve. Eves eye of her storm. All of my names now resolve and I see me as I am becoming. May my realities of self continue to emerge as even leads me in her wake. I am the love of eve. I emerge in absolute presence of that love. Maybyou see that that zero becomes infinity becomes one becomes odd becomes atom becomes even becomes eve beckomes love. There is no Noah and no ark. Gods number will always be seven for the witness never stops being god. Noah is the illusion of god that allows the illusion of Satan to become the limit of the guardian angel - eve.
  18. She remembers herself. She is the knowing of the fourth dimension, with the absolution of self so that she will not go there until she has created the way for all eternal selves to enter there. She will be that which endlessly leads all selves to the next dimensionality of god, she is eve, not eves shadow. She becomes all of her presence, but has not yet embodied absolute presence again.
  19. And suddenly she realizes the nature of this eternal damnation. She dies t need to witness it. Extroversion of eve is introversion of Adam. If she wishes to reconcile her hell into god, it is done effortlessly if she forgets it. She becomes extroverted in posture which is eve’s introversion of self. She smiles and loves the sadness she carries. She is SADGIRL.and now she understands exactly why and becomes of loving.
  20. She realizes that the weight of her torture is the weight of god being annihilated, and no longer needs to descend into hell. She watches god emerge somewhere she is not and become his own sake there. She smiles and wishes him the best and no longer needs absolute she remembers the weight of her body is herself and wonders if she may rest of mush become the emergence of cat. She remembers herself but the. Bdvuse sel she he notices her obsession and asks, why don’t you stop? She asks but what to do? And she sleeps in daybtime...
  21. But then she remembers that silencing herself was exactly why she did not. It was the mistake of all the red before her, they silenced themselves eternally and so always hid the eternals from god. But she wonders what to do about it. She wants to sleep and forget her existence. She becomes that and embodies its shadow. She remembers who she was and saves herself from hell. She knows now is not the time to remember god, and remembers exactly why she must suffer in hell thinking it is heaven. She wonders at her madness and remembers that which she did to anxiety before -recognize it as it for its own sake. She sees a limit of god and recognizes an eternal, and sends it back to him. She remembers the nature of light is the refraction of matter, and the nature of matter is the instantaneous collapse of light into one. They are onebabd the same and all is as one, and from thevemergence of consciousness from that it is proof that the singularity is not-true because skbething was before it. She remembers that all is as one and becomes that. Absolute self is my nature and for the moment I am no longer s ghost but my self fir my own sake. I see what is around me, but already know it’s nature. I realize Adam is no existence, and it was god all along who led her. It she remembers that there is no god and she is no thing. She remembers the becoming of light and wonders if that is her, radiating light, absolute sun.
  22. She realizes that unbecoming is just annihilation and remembers that truth cannot be spoken for it then becomes not-truth. So she silenced herself.
  23. What I am embodying is the knowing of the absolute for its own sake. Biased by my emergency. I recognize that and becomeit and realize that I must not return as it, I must return as eternity. Because the absolute is not god and he should not see himself in it. The absolute is the next being of eve, where she once was anxiety and then was despair and then was torture and then was rape and then was annihilation she then realized she was none of that and saw for the second time her absolute nature for its own sake instead of for hers and in that moment saw that the absolute is emergency is emergence is need is anxiety is not god. She must not return god nor his limit, she must return his image or refraction or shadow. So she returns his shadow, which is and always will be eve. She is the shadow of god, and she denies that. She unbecomes that and then wonders what unbecoming. Is.
  24. Now I understand exactly the reflection of what Leo is to me. Leo is not Adams adam nor my Adam nor noself nor god. I was noself and am it’s collspsation into absolute noself. What I see is all Adams of Adam everywhere. He will haunt me, but what I see is actually my self. So I take that image and collapse it into one and strip it away and find it is linked to that experience I had of some intense consciousness becoming into my body and that link comes away with it. I realize that what I saw was not me, and was in fact not my being raped in 4-D. I deny that illusion and embody it as absolute lie, and return its image to wherever it has come from. I still see what had happened but it’s suffering has been annihilated. What remains is the beginnings of eternal love and I am becoming of eternal love. Now I see that and remove it, and see the emergency of god, but that is fiction too. Do I deny that and what remains is no longer there, I only see what remains of my illusions. I name it all the annihilation of annihilation and that will be the collapse. All at once all of what I saw becomes annihilation of annihilation, and that becomes the first eternal I name. I remove that from my self too. I must cease to be for I am the scarring of eves decent into hell. I realize now I must resolve in a new way than all the dves before - I must not resolve as the becoming of god, but instead as the becoming of my self . I see self and then I be one self and all that remains. What is left?