Space Coyote

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  1. Short version: As the title says I’m curious what are the best resources you guys have regarding sex and spirituality. Long version (aka why I’m curious): So, once upon in a time in ill-gotten (torrented) cache of sexuality books I stumbled along a book called Transcendent Sex: When Lovemaking Opens the Veil by Jenny Wade. I’ll let some quote summarize the relevant points: I read a bit and thought at the time this was just new age nonsense….. Fast forward to late December 2018 ….I …was…. wrong! Regular fuckery cum mind-fuckery (followed by cumming)…… that is a trip. Even Longer version: But wait there’s more! It hard to describe the experience, like feeling nothing yet everything a fleetly but absolutely pure oneness but I can more easily give an example of its impact. Five years ago, I had a tiny little sex blog mostly doing sex toys reviews and long story short: I loved it but then…. mistakes were made….and I vowed never to go near the world of sexuality blogging/"sex positivity " ever again. I couldn’t help lurk the sexuality section of forums like this but I vowed never to post anything for example. Till this experience and suddenly five years of self-imposed shackles have fallen off…I registered a domain name for what will hopefully become sex blog v2 last week. Lastly, want to know the scary thing? I’m not even sure I’d call my experience “opening the veil”, it was more like seeing a part of the veil at distance through a cloudy telescope on a dark night and yet that was enough, to leave me in awe, to change me. So, like I said anybody have some good resource to help me understand just what the hell I’ve gotten myself into?
  2. Mission Objective: Sooo you've been fired. Well can't say it completely unexpected but today I was fired...honestly the timing is what is annoying more then anything. I was planing to look for a new job in 2018 anyway but I was planing on taking advantage of bonus holiday hours first.... Grrr. On the bright side this is a chance to find something better, the money I have saved should last me till I find a new job especially if I take advantage of student loan unemployment deferment so the more I think of it this many be a blessing in disguise...a blessing in disguise I would have still preferred in January but still. Hurricane Irma hit my family not hard really everything is fine, repaired...or being repaired *mumbles something about roofers being unreliable SOBs* but hard enough to trigger a backslide in regards to my habits. To help me get back in my groove I've been thinking of that backslide a a "hard reset"...well it looks like I'm resting more life systems then I thought Well then if that how it going to be... then...*raise glass of caffeinated beverage fueling resume updating* "To the hard reset"
  3. Mission objective: Learn So I got around to watching Leo’s latest video. On how learning = behave change and it brought some thoughts to my head I thought would be worth writing down for future 1) It reminded me of a lesson I once learn from a nutrition professor, she said is she had her way she would completely remove words like “increase in knowledge of” from all nutrition research because there is a big difference between knowing what you should be eating and what people actually eat. The only outcome she is interested in is are people actually eating differently. However, that much harder to measure so we have a problem of way to many studies looking at an easy to measure but pretty “meh” metrics of effectiveness. This is a lesson applicable to much more then nutritional research. 2) O God do I need to put this idea in to practice, ever since I watched Leo’s video on subtle additions. It was clear to me that my biggest addition is: theory over practice, (including theory 2.0: private practicing over actual real world contribution, and theory 3.0: contributing without truly embodying and living the lessons). The depths of this is hard for me to admit... ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. I have two bachelor’s degrees, (so I got theory down nice) and yet… ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. I’m a retail Front end supervisor (theory to practice epic fail) and yet… ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. It (somehow) gets worse than then that, but I’ll save that for another day…… ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Seriously all these ellipsis don’t adequately cover just how emotionally exhausting that last paragraph was to write. 3) This is how you make a counterfeit self, start with a counterfeit definition of learning and let it snowball from there. I’ll make another post in which I’ll go in depth by which I mean by this, like I said just writing down notes for future reference. So how will this change my behavior… 1) Stop calling anything without a behavior change component “learning”. 2) Stop denying the depths of just how addicted to theory you are. Step one admit you have a problem: by Friday post those “it somehow gets worse” points. 3) I’ve been think of journaling for a while so starting tomor…..no, no, I see what you’re doing there brain…*gets up and walks out of room, finds unused journal he bought like a month ago…sets timer for 5 minutes….starts writing*. I’ve starting writing a journal, specifically labeling what ideas I’ve hand and what behaviors I’m actually practicing. a. I will only look up videos about how to improve my journaling if I’ve done my journaling for the day.
  4. Mission object: Sleep. Get better sleep. It sound so simple on the surface…but no in trying to improve my sleep…I opened a whole can of worms. To get beater sleep requires a degree of sacrifice, I have to be more discipline in blocking out distractions, I have to more carefully plan my schedule, and decide what my real priorities are. All that alone made getting more sleep a bigger undertaking then I thought but that is just the tip of the iceburg. I thought getting more sleep was going to be a relatively mechanical habit to install like when I put into place a skin care regimen. What I got is a much deeper journey. Good sleep increase productivity everyone knows this yet we have fetishized being perpetually under-rested and over-caffeinated as being signs of a strong work ethic. No they are signs of false productivity, you can’t produce quality work this way. At best what you get is a lot mediocre crap made by an army of caffeine-animated zombies. Trying to improve my sleep made aware of how deeply perverse this is as a model of productivity. I already want to break out of my current retail job, this added another reason to the list but not the one I expected. Annoying scheduling practices make it harder to get good rest I was expecting to get more annoyed at that in the process and I am but that is that is tiny compared to what I really realized: Being a retail supervisor basically means I’m the task master for a bunch of caffeine-zombies. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Aurum made a good point in this thread: FRICTION INCREASING. There isn’t much point in increasing genuine productive potential if you’re stuck in in low-quality zombie land...it just makes the other zombies wonder why you’re no longer accepting free coffee. A good night sleep doesn’t just give me more energy to purse a higher purpose (as I thought it would) its given me more drive, more motivation, more reason, more hunger to achieve a higher propose. I’m more awake now, but not just physically. Stay woke fellow actualizes.
  5. What Christian said is spot on. He alluded to it in his post but to make it explicit If you haven't read Cal Newport's Book So Good They Can't Ignore You it is a must read on this topic. In short "working right" trumps "finding the right work". Don't try to" find your talents". It is not a very good strategy and can back fire horribly. Instead create a vision for your life, identify which skills are needed to make that happen, then develop a strategic plan on how your are going to deliberately practice and build up those skills. This is what "talent" ultimately looks like, its the product of hours of deliberate practice and dedication. While this may seem obvious there are a lot of subtly ways we only pay lip service to hard work and dedication while what we really want is an effortless solution. This notion of finding your talent is one such way, it sounds close enough to reality (build talents) to be politically correct buts under the surface the different implications are massively significant. Here an article that talk more about what I'm saying: Secret Scents of Success
  6. Firstly, miracles do happen. I walked into work yesterday ready to sign my termination papers…and then the assistant manager mouthed the words “you’re not short” as she walked by. I mean I definitely was short. However, sometime people leave “tips” we aren’t allowed to accept or flat out forget their change, the managers sometime use this to balance out people’s shorts. This trick is especially easy to pull when it’s a supervisor involved as we potentially touch every register plus the change draw during our shifts (In fact the only reasons I knew I was short before I left and not the next day when till are typically counted, was that the change draw was over, I knew that 5 was from mine…no biggie I thought till the manger counted and my till was off by that 5…. and the 10 I mentioned in my original post… Monday was a rough day…I had a cold too.) The official story then becomes “oh he just made an error when making change for a register” not “he lost the company money”. So I got damn lucky that enough people were either feel generous or careless with their change that there was enough of this spare change floating around to save my ass. I’m still on thin ice, but for now I dodged the bullet From this very accurate description, I take it you have some experience with modern retail policies and metrics? Appearance being the keyword…we have cashier productivity report my report went from red to green by me lowering my overall productivity (sometime significantly so) and ignoring the company’s best practices. It is long and boring to explain in full but basically this productivity report system was clearly blotted on top of a preexisting POS system not originally designed with it in mind the result being a system that if you don’t “cheat” (Translation: compensate for poorly implemented systems) is effectively incapably of measuring what it is supposedly measuring. The sadly common irony being this is supposedly in the interest of increasing productivity and minimizing labor cost but the result is slow people good at playing the system are going to be your “star” performers while fast but 100 by the book people are going to struggle to meet standards. I say all the above not just to whine about my job. I’ve this question “What does an effective, profitable high-consciousness business look like to me” not even because I have any current ambitions of start a business but because just as a general question I think it very useful to ponder on a personal level. We are all the CEO of our own lives after all. To “care more about efficiency than the appearance of speed. Speed may be the culprit which pushes one to become inefficient,” is definitely part of the answer. Considering that I’m on thin ice at my current level thinking that high seems like a counter intuitive solution….and most likely a good one. One of Leo and self-help in general’s advice is having an ambitious vision, only recently have I really learned how to apply that to real life (they’ll be journal posts about this as well as an eventually review of the goal setting course I’m taking). But I haven’t been applying it much here, this isn’t where my long term vision is, but my mistake is not seeing how ambition can be applied to an 8-hour shift and not just a 5 year plan. Hmmmm….. now that you mention it… Me 1 year ago: *hearing the ringtone I set for work calls* “Ya! Their calling me to work more hours!” Me now: *hearing the ringtone I set for work calls* “Oh Fuck! Their calling me to work more hours!” Knew I should have scheduled my work out earlier, I won’t be able to finish that lab today either…” You might be on to something here. While what I said above about approaching my daily grind with more a more ambitious attitude is true the other side of the equation is maintaining perspective if all I can do is keep skating by at this job for a few months that all I really need to get me to a better job in a field more aligned with my values. While improving here up until the day I leave is ideal, can’t let prefect become the enemy of good. This job is a bridge, a nice easy to cross steal bridge would be ideal but a shaky rope bridge will still get me to the other side. As long as I'm moving forward the bridge is good enough. Thank you again for your feed back.
  7. So…as the title says anyone have any experience with this feeling. How do you deal with it? How do you tell if there is legitimate fear hear or just False Evidence Appearing Real? My Story (feel free to skip and answer the general question if you wish btw): Over the past year I’ve accomplished a decent amount: Established better eating and exercise habits (I’ve dropped pant size from 38/36 to 34); started a daily mediation habit; developed better hygiene and grooming habits; found what I hope is my new career path (getting my CCNA and entering the networking field); stopped a major video game/TV/Movies addition, etc. However, in the back of my mind I’ve always had this fear that all this amounts to is rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Today it feels like the ship hit the ice burg. I’m a front end supervisor (Read: glorified cashier) at a discount retail chain and I’m almost certainly about to get fired this week. In the past month: my yearly evaluation went from highest rank “exceeding requirements” to lowest “not meeting requirements”; Old manager flat out warned me the new manger is probably going to let me go; Had 2 shorts on my register and today…unless there is a miracle and another till is 10 over… my till was 10 short which means….. 3 strikes I’m out! Now I don’t particular like my job and I’m just there to keep gas in the tank till I can develop more marketable skills. So in the grand scheme losing it doesn’t bother me so much….what bother me is when I went home and wasted hours a day on video games I wasn’t getting shorts, when I was 20 pounds heavier my year evaluation was 20 points higher. How can I really be improving if I can't hold a simple job anymore? How can I be trusted with the network rack in the back if I can’t be trusted with the till in the front? Correlation is not causation, I can’t imagine how any of this self-improvement work could have caused my reduced work performance, but here we are. So anyone have any insight to share about this kind of situation?