egoeimai

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Posts posted by egoeimai

  6. Posted

    @assx95 You mean that, if you do something or tell something that will make her reject you, you won't be at friend's zone. How's that so? 

    By knowing that she rejects you, you will know that she doesn't like you as a bf. 

    I know. You have nothing to lose. Only the fake friendship. 

    Friend zoning is a way of a girl trying so hard to not break your heart. Usually it is because she has that good - person behavior, and a fear already in her of rejection (No one wants to deal with drama and unexpected behaviors) so it's a clear chicken-way to do what has to be done. But it's not how a girl should treat others, I think. It's not straightforward behavior. It's fear based. ?

    Best thing is to have the guts to say no. 

  7. Posted · Edited by egoeimai

    On 11/2/2019 at 0:30 AM, brugluiz said:

    Just had a problem with a friend and I was thinking many things about her: "she's a bitch!", "how dare her do it to me?", "it's not correct!", "Why she is such a jerk?!", etc

    So I was having many negative thoughts about her due to a tiny problem. After reading some articles on the internet on how to deal with it, I realized I had just to express my feelings (even if the problem seemed to be very tiny).

    I expressed my feelings to her and she was very kind to me. It was impressive how all my thoughts about her just changed!

    Now I admire her even more!

    I was always very closed about my feelings. Even if it's a "tiny" thing that bothers you, you should express what you're feeling. Maybe that "tiny" thing upsets you a lot. But being honest with people is a huge relief and it helps us to connect with them.

    I'm astonished of how just expressing what I was feeling was much more better than avoiding conflict and repressing my feelings.

    Yes but it's not always the case. Some people are willing to hear what is bothering you and respect that and both of you find a common ground, but there are also people who don't appreciate you opening up being vulnerable, don't want, dont need you to open up. In general, they don't wanna deal with your emotions and thoughts or find it difficult. 

    So it'd be great if we all are able to be accepted and willing to open up. Some people don't wanna do that. They are just so closed. They don't reveal their emotions. 

    And then you move on. 

  10. Posted

    On 10/17/2019 at 2:03 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

    So, i have a relation with this girl, that I really like (even more than that, I got feeling towards her) and she was sleeping at my place one day. I thought that something can happen, but I wasn't determined for anything. 

    First of all, I love you, because your nickname is everything to make my life happier ???????????

    Okay. So. Yeah don't expect anything. Just live it experience it. Don't think about it. 

    On 10/17/2019 at 2:03 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

    We were talking and she asked some question about monogamy and I've answered "yes", which happened to be a test from her part. After I "passed that test", I felt strong, passionate, predatory, sexual energy from her and she gave me that kind of look: 

     

    Knowing that is was a test you answered on purpose or it was coming right of you? 

    Hahaha that look. 

     

    On 10/17/2019 at 2:03 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

    It was too strong for me to handle, I panicked and went to a bathroom. I looked myself in a mirror and decided I will not do anything about it, my trauma was too strong and i chickened out. 

    Okay. It's okay don't judge yourself about it. You'll eventually come out of your shell. Don't stress about it. The less you think about it the more chances you have to do something. 

    On 10/17/2019 at 2:03 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

    We met again after that and when we were talking, I felt the same kind of look from her couple of times. It's so fucking strong energy I don't know how to handle it.

    I know it's some kind of "shadow" issue, and I think I have to "fight my own Scar" to go pass throught it, but I have no idea what it really is and how to do it.

    It may be some sex-related trauma (when i was 5 i woke up and my parents were having sex next to me and i thought my father is hurting my mother), but I had sex a lot of times already and I'm not sure why this time this is something "too much for me", maybe because I'm really into this girl and it's not some average girl, but a girl I can really build future with.

    That could be the case but that doesn't mean it's that only. Could be other cases as well. For example her presence is stressing you out. It has to do with your own self it doesn't mean it's trauma related. Maybe low self esteem (so common) or anxiety disorder, can be anything related to your sexual performance. But don't think about it. Go for it and see what happens. Remember that her look is not gonna kill you in any way. She is playing her sexy flirting game and that's her part to show you what she wants. It is was it is. Accept this eye look and go on trying to not think about your past and your traumas. Be your own hero let go of the past. What's in the past stays in the past. Even if you go to a therapist and discuss all about that, in time he/she is going to push you into a move. So do it now. You never know. Time flies as well. 

    On 10/17/2019 at 2:03 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

    Did any of you experienced something similar? How did you go pass through it?

     

  12. Posted

    On 10/8/2019 at 1:47 PM, Viking said:

    i am so confused regarding my life purpose.

    i have a physics degree which i finished 2 months ago and in 2 months ill join the army as an engineer sorta. right now im on a break.

    Congratulations!!! For your hard work and rest well until the next journey. 

    On 10/8/2019 at 1:47 PM, Viking said:

    my problem is that i have nothing meaningful to do. i can do a lot of things, but i dont have any goal with those things, therefore i dont feel like those things are worth doing. for example, i made youtube videos, which a lot of people liked, but because i didnt see a point in doing them and didnt see myself as being a youtuber ever, i stopped making them

    Do you want to share a link? 

    On 10/8/2019 at 1:47 PM, Viking said:

    also i play the piano and i draw, but i never put full effort in it and i dont put a lot of time in it because i dont see a point in doing so. i can also program but i dont see a point in doing it, so i get bored when i try to start. 

    You are so talented and you don't find a meaning through all. What about stopping that kind of thought-train and start showing your talent to the world? Express yourself. 

    If you think about it and try try to give it a meaning, it won't happen. It's a distraction. Thought thought thought, zero action. 

    On 10/8/2019 at 1:47 PM, Viking said:

    what happens is that i just slide into doing things that im used to, like playing videogames and watching youtube videos.

    Yeah these tasks are probably relaxing your mind for a bit, but you know these wont add up to something. Zero plus zero equals zero. 

    On 10/8/2019 at 1:47 PM, Viking said:

    i tried to do Leo's life purpose course but i just couldnt get my values straight. i feel like im too young to have any solid values and i dont have enough reference experiences to know what i truly value. i spent months trying to figure them out but at the end the result wasnt satisfactory.

    It's okay. 

    On 10/8/2019 at 1:47 PM, Viking said:

    before i used to rationalize it is so because im low at maslow's heirarchy, i have no connection with people and no close friends, so im not motivated to do that "higher" stuff like hobbies but i doubt now that this is the case, because i do have a desire to do SOMETHING but i have nothing specific that seems to be worth it, because i have no specific direction in life or life purpose.

    You don't have to have a purpose. Just do what you like doing. Draw, play th piano. Doesn't have to have a meaning. Don't you see... 

    On 10/8/2019 at 1:47 PM, Viking said:

    all of that aside, i do have other goals which some of them are more abstract, like finding friends, gaining knowledge and wisdom, gaining emotional maturity and stuff like that, but as far as life purpose im zero.

    Do what you like first, other people come second. 

  15. Posted

    7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Of course not.

    Male and female attraction is asymmetrical.

    They fantasize about some knight in shining armor whisking them away. Read some cheap romance novels from Walmart to understand how women think 

    After all this hard work you've done on yourself, you say this. 

    You are so delusional. What kind of girl these days is fantasizing about this? Have you met a girl in your life? Noone thinks like that. 

     

  19. Posted

    @orpheos you don't have to do it if you are not ready. Nobody is going to tell you how bad you are because they don't have the right to do so. 

    Stop seeing him, he seems to be an abusive man who likes to take you down. No one has the right to treat you as he did. Some people are just toxic and no matter how hard it is you just have to get rid of them. 

    You will find a ton of boys that will treat you better than this. It's just the start, you'll gain experience and feel so much better after meeting the next guy, and the next one etc etc 

  20. Posted

    @Espaim texting it's like approaching face to face but a tad colder. Imo do it when there's no other choice. What you've done, letting yourself explore the world outside and leaving the phone behind, is a big step to change the humanity. People need more time together, face to face conversation, the real deal. If you can do that properly, no need to worry about the digital, it comes second. The goal I suppose is to have the skills to deeply communicate, express yourself, watch and feel everything,... The screen lacks of that opportunity. Focus on the real stuff. And consider that when you do that, people tend to get that as the truth, they're basing their opinions more on the real stuff than online.(well, there are also exceptions, once I unfriended a contact from an old account, when I saw them in person they were so butt-hurt they didn't return a 'hi'. Lol) 

  23. Posted

    BRO! YOU NEED TO STOP.
    why? Cause this feeling is gonna kill you sooner or later.
    Dependency on another person, can not only kill your relationship (that's the least it can do-and if it does it will be for the good) but decides for you whether you'll be happy or not. Also, it's an illusion! You don't need anyone in that way.
    Give her time and space and whenever you're feeling like this again, that you NEED her, stop and observe yourself, your feelings, your thoughts, and do not invite anyone to be with you at that time. It's an alone time in which you do search for your deeper inner self and there's no one's business in that.
    This behavior is not healthy although it's normal. Many people have experienced it at least once in their lives.
    Cope with it, search neediness, feelings of not being enough, watch ECKHART TOLLE. I love this guy.
    You need to figure yourself out. Asap.
    The sooner you do the better quality your life will have and the happier you'll be. Plus more healthy relationships.
    Best wishes. ❤️(you're not alone in this)

  24. Posted

    On 24/8/2019 at 1:37 AM, Kiamber Blake said:

    Hey guys, I wanted to get some advice on transitioning a friendship into a relationship.  We have known each other since high school through his older sister and mutual friends.  Although we have not talked that much during our high school years, we still kept in contact as friends to keep up on what we were doing with our lives.  About a year later (this year), I reconnected with him by hanging out in cafes, parks, etc.  Although we have been friends for some time, we have had sex a few times before, but I never made it go any further than that.  Although I like this guy, I always feared being in a relationship so I wouldn't be hurt let alone opening myself up to someone who wants to get involved in my life.

    So my question is: Is it possible to be in a relationship with a friend?  Are there any benefits or drawbacks from transitioning your friendship into a relationship?  What are some tips that you would tell someone if they are considering changing their friendship into a relationship?

    Oh girl. Tough times right? 

    ...... 

    Girl you need to find out what you really want from him. Don't play with his feelings or experimenting with your feelings on him. Figure that stuff out before action. 

    Anyways, I'm not judging you or your acts, but having sex a few times may have complicated things a bit more. 

    Now being friends with someone is easier to transition because you have intimacy already and you can read his personality easier and faster. Just do something that shows your love more than friendly. Or tell to him directly. If you do have that familiar relationship anything is accepted. 

    Q&A yes ofc it is possible and you're going to do it. More benefits than drawbacks. 

    Hello friend, boyfriend wanna be. Lol I'm kidding. So depending of your level of familiarity choose the words that you know make him more happy and less stressed, say to him that you love him so much as a friend but things evolved in you and that you now considering getting deeper with him and having a relationship with him. 

    Saying it probably is not the tricky part, the afterwards is. 

    What ever his answer is just be cool with it. You don't wanna lose a close friend because that happened. Stay cool accept any desire that he has. Relationships are about respect and love anyway so a good friend is better than no friend. 

  25. Posted

    Sex dolls are tools for satisfaction. Nothing more I guess.... But I've seen documentaries in which people really treat them as real partners. 

    So I think that most of these sex toys are beneficial and useful but only in a certain extent. Do not abuse them is the 'rule' . 

    I especially appreciate toys that are made for couples, that way you are not missing out on a sexual intercourse. 

    Each toy is made by an intelligent mind and has its own purpose.