korbes

GF needs more alone time

12 posts in this topic

So my GF and I have been together for almost 9 months now, in a fantastic relationship, where we truly love each other!

Although it feels like the relationship has started to take a turn now. 

We have been together for almost everyday the last couple of months, which may be too much.

She's been talking with her coach, and now she has figured out that she needs more alone time, which is really hard for me to accept.

I know it's super important to live out our individual lives, but it's really hard for me to swallow, that she doesn't want to focus on me 100%.

I know it's very egoic to think that, but how can I start dealing with this?

I know I have to live my own life too, I used to enjoy reading books, study self-help stuff and business stuff etc, but it's really hard for me to focus on this right now, when I just want to be with her all the time..

Logically, I know she still loves me, for sure, but it's like my feelings doesn't trust that she loves me. I'm doubting her love for me, maybe because I am feeling unworthy of love or unloveable in some sense, or maybe I don't trust myself?

Any advice for this issue, is highly appreciated, I've been crying the last few days!

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How old are you? Also please tell us, is your girlfriend constantly showing you ( as you supposedly show her) that you are the most important person in her life? Did she feel badly due to you crying over her decision ? Or does she even know that?

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Stop being needy(easier said than done) give her space,she needs alone time to start  missing and wanting  you again...if you dont do that she will lose interest because too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Love in such a way other person feels free

Edited by NoSelfSelf

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36 minutes ago, TheGreekSeeker said:

How old are you? Also please tell us, is your girlfriend constantly showing you ( as you supposedly show her) that you are the most important person in her life? Did she feel badly due to you crying over her decision ? Or does she even know that?

Hey, I am 21. 

Yes she does, but probably in more subtle ways, like taking on clothing that she knows I like etc.

Yes she felt bad over me crying.

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28 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Stop being needy(easier said than done) give her space,she needs alone time to start  missing and wanting  you again...if you dont do that she will lose interest because too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Love in such a way other person feels free

Yeah, I'm probably way too affectionate and too clingy, we've been talking about that before.

She also mentioned that she misses to miss me. 

I also only wants her to feel 100% free.

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BRO! YOU NEED TO STOP.
why? Cause this feeling is gonna kill you sooner or later.
Dependency on another person, can not only kill your relationship (that's the least it can do-and if it does it will be for the good) but decides for you whether you'll be happy or not. Also, it's an illusion! You don't need anyone in that way.
Give her time and space and whenever you're feeling like this again, that you NEED her, stop and observe yourself, your feelings, your thoughts, and do not invite anyone to be with you at that time. It's an alone time in which you do search for your deeper inner self and there's no one's business in that.
This behavior is not healthy although it's normal. Many people have experienced it at least once in their lives.
Cope with it, search neediness, feelings of not being enough, watch ECKHART TOLLE. I love this guy.
You need to figure yourself out. Asap.
The sooner you do the better quality your life will have and the happier you'll be. Plus more healthy relationships.
Best wishes. ❤️(you're not alone in this)

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7 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@korbes yeah give her the place to miss you and let her get back to you in her own pace...

 I REMEMBER COACH COREY WAY TO THIS HAHAHAHA

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@John Iverson Hahah yeah thats more than 50% of my understanding of relationships nobody wants to read it so if force you to coach others but things are legit it only lacks pick up things ...

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Quote

but it's like my feelings doesn't trust that she loves me

Your feelings are right.

You posted another thread:

Quote

Too Much Of A Nice Guy.. Resources?

Start by fixing this. Women do not find men with these issues attractive.

Edited by crab12

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"Truly love" - the odds are: that's not true. 

Don't be needy, let her miss you so she can come back.

Learn about red pill, it has a lot of truth about women and their nature. But dont make it your ideology please...

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Been there done that. The only thing that'll make it easy is if you can find something else to be passionate about and want to have alone time for. e.g. this work! you're 21 you have a bunch of stuff to do

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