Zenterus

I second this, but I would recommend not to spend money on insta-dates. I personally just tell the girl that I have to get going soon but that she should sit down with me in a nearby bench to vibe real quick. Taking girls for ice cream and coffee and shit is okay, but it adds up over time and it doesn't guarantee a result. In fact, paying for a girl who hasnt gotten dressed up to meet you on a date, loses you points actually, cause it's kinda simpy. Why would a high value man who is still deciding if he even likes the girl be spending money on her after a couple minutes of talking? Do the bench instead.

Insight: One of the reasons that humans have a weird relationship with their anus, genitals and sexuality is because those aspects of us remind us of our inherent animalistic nature and thus become a gateway towards deeper existential realizations about our fallibility and, ultimately, mortality.

It depends on the context, but I typically am indifferent, emotionally, to seeing a woman cry. Women, generally speaking, seem to be more in touch with their emotions and are more readily willing to express them, so seeing a woman cry is akin to seeing her angry, or frustrated, or happy, to me. Now, how I respond to it depends on the narrative I subscribe to behind her crying. If I feel like its crocodile tears aimed at manipulating a situation, then I respond with non-chalance. If I feel like she's genuinely hurting because of something that happened, I will comfort her and give her the space to express her emotions, which I will then validate for her. Other times, it's a none-factor. Like, they've been times where I'll be having a conversation with my sister about a serious topic and, as a result of the subject matter, she'll start crying, but we'll continue talking as if nothing is happening. Of course, I've made the mistake of trying to fix a girl's emotional outburst, in the past, with very little positive result, but I've since learned to just give it space to be without judgement or needing to control it, somehow.

Not at all. I believe it's a spectrum that we fluctuate up and down on throughout our lives. But I do believe that some people are naturally more inclined towards being more social than others.

Uhh.. social circle game is more geared towards extroverts. Cold approach is actually the best option for introverted men.

Nah dude. Approaching strangers is akin to venturing into the unknown. No matter how many times you do it, you dont know how the other person will react. There's also the social pressure aspect where people might see you do it and there's a certain kind of sexual shame that you feel as a consequence because you're openly exposing your desires to the world, while also potentially exposing yourself to be rejected publically which can feel a little embarrassing. This never goes away. I still get approach anxiety after 10 years of active pickup experience. @Olaf Instead of viewing it as you needing to do 3 perfect approaches, just focus on engaging in the right behaviours no matter how the girl reacts. Speak loud, hold eye contact, square up, be confident and intentional. As long as you do that, the approach counts, no matter how the girl reacts. Now, if she happens to react positively, try to see how far you can push the interaction. I like to use a point system, personally. An approach counts as 1 point, a longer interaction as 2 and a longer interaction that I got an instagram or number from counts as 3. So, when you go out, you're aiming to get 3 points. If you just do 3 approaches, that satisfies it. But if you have a longer interaction without closing, which counts for 2, then all you have to do is one more solid approach and you won. Now if you close that one longer interaction then you're free to go home, but if you decide to continue approaching, you're doing so out of inspiration rather than for an outcome. This mentality also "gamifies" the game and takes the seriousness and brutality out of it.

Just studied Quantitative Reasoning Mathematics for 2 hours straight after a 9 hour shift 💪🏾

Sorry to hear this man! That sucks! How did you find out? What were the symptoms?

@Valach Dont waste your time, please.

Brother, if you think that trauma and socialization arent interconnected, you're greatly mistaken. In fact, having a high body count or being hypersexual, as psychologists call it, is often corrated to having a degree of trauma. Trauma manifests the most in relationships with others, not in isolation, as trauma is most often caused by your loved ones or people whose love you seeked when you were growing up. As children we dont have a mature way of handling that trauma and thus we stunt our bodies natural emotional processing system -- because part of that process is actually experiencing those painful emotions fully, which sucks to do -- and thus we store those traumatic sensations in the body and develop belief systems on top of them that are meant to protect us from experiencing that same pain again. Fast forward to adulthood and those traumatic emotions and belief systems quietly run the way we conduct ourselves in relationships with others, often in a dysfunctional way precisely because we are afraid of getting hurt. To go back to the example of hypersexuality, a person who was brutally rejected by their peers growing up, might develop an inner wound around sociam rejection and thus spend their entire life chasing approval from others by having sex with a lot of attractive women (which gets him the validation of those women) while at the same time boasting about it or finding indirect ways to convey to other men that he is sleeping with all these women (which gets him the validation of men). On the flip side, someone may have experienced that same social rejection but built a victimized belief system that, instead of turning him into a casanova as an adult, completely stuns him and blocks him from fully expressing themselves charismatically out of an internal belief that doing so wound result in them experiencing that old childhood pain of rejection, again. In both cases, healing is necessary in order to live a happy life and be able to relate to others authentically, without performance or manipulation. Now, I wouldnt go as far as to say that social skills ain't a thing like @Valach said. They absolutely are. Sales is a form of social skill, office politics are a form of social skill, and game is a form of social skill as well. In all of the three fields above, being unstifled, free and confident definitely helps, but there are also dynamics and "social games" at play that one needs to be exposed to and gradually becomes proficient in, in order to get the best outcomes.

I agree with everyone here, man. This spam approaching you keep doing is teaching you nothing. I've seen you infield, dude, your sticking points are beyond the approach and you should be focusing on those, instead. This is starting to feel like some kind of self-sabotage thing where instead of actually going deep with a woman and trying to make it work by focusing less on quantity and more on quality, you're instead spreading yourself thin as a way to feel like you're being productive in some way rather than actually getting results.

Bruh

Literally.

"Oh.. you're definitely a red flag!"

I don't know how fetlife is in Canada, but every munch I've been to in the Netherlands sucked. The women are not that attractive and a lot of them neurodivergent in some form or another. I can pickup a hotter, neuro-normative girl in a regular social meetup and gradually introduce her to my depraved sexual fantasies over time, which is preferable than having to deal with these fetlife people. And, of course, if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. 9s and 10s have no issue attracting dominant men in their lives. They don't need to go on fetlife unless there's something wrong with them. Same with feeld. Any dating app or website that is explicitly about sex, usually attracts unattractive women who have trouble procuring it naturally.