Zenterus

Below is an excerpt from a .PDF I've been developing for some time now where I transcribe ALL MY KNOWLEDGE about women, dating and pick-up. This document is being created in order to distill down all my lessons from the last 10 years of doing pick-up, so that in case I get into a serious long-term monogamous relationship for multiple years and then end up breaking up, I will have the most high-consciousness information at my fingertips without having to refer to other pick-up coaches and/or having to re-learn the same lessons again in the field. The document is intended for personal use, therefore the language is in the first-person perspective, so keep in mind that depending on where you are in your journey, this information might not be of much help to you. I have 10 years of pickup experience, so the way that I operate within an interaction might not be transferrable to you as a beginner or intermediate, because I might not have the same mental limitations that you currently do in your journey. However, I thought it valuable to share and hope that it could provide insights to those that are ready for them. Enjoy. THE OPTIMIZED APPROACH – SUBTLETY & INDIVIDUALITY The ideal dynamic within an interaction is one that promotes mystery and provides the woman with a unique experience that feels spontaneous. Furthermore, the best approaches reinforce a narrative in which I am a high value man who is on his purpose, living an awesome life and while doing so, I just happened to run into this woman who peaked my curiosity and, thus, after interacting with her from a place of intrigue and skepticism, she eventually wins me over and sparks more genuine romantic/sexual interest from me. To create this dynamic, a more indirect approach is preferred that’s more focused on drawing her in, because it doesn’t give immediate resolution to the mystery and it allows for the interaction to feel more natural in its progression. Additionally, this type of approach allows for versatility in case the girl doesn’t meet my qualifications and I choose to befriend her instead, or if I decide I want to pursue someone else within her social circle. Another bonus, is that this approach protects me against building a reputation of going around complimenting every girl. Do not confuse this type of approach as hiding my intentions. The girl will view the interaction as a sexual/romantic encounter, no matter if I directly state it or not, as a result of the sex worthy vibe that I’m giving off and the assumed attraction in my behavior, but ideally, I will not overtly communicate that unless it’s through very subtle statements or qualifications that still maintain mystery and a high-value narrative or some form of push-pull that takes her on an emotional journey around whether she’s winning me over or losing me. This type of approach hinges on the fact that “subtlety is key.” That not only includes the man-to-woman nature of the interaction but also the logistics of it. I want to find out whether she has a boyfriend, where she lives, whether she’s with friends or not, what her time availability is, etc, without it being overtly obvious that I have an agenda behind asking these questions. Having that said, while ideally an indirect-direct approach where I’m just a cool sex-worthy guy who is simply sharing some good vibes with this girl and naturally draws her in is better, making my intentions overtly obvious is also a viable strategy, as long as it is paired with a good dose of skepticism on whether or not she’s a good fit for me – in order to inject that tension of “can I have him or not?” – as well as a unique and creative way of building that man-to-woman frame (notice I said frame not intent, more on that later) that highlights my individuality and puts me in my very own category rather than the girl perceiving me like I’m every other guy, using the same lines. Lastly, the ideal approach should be coming from a frame of assumed familiarity, meaning that I believe I’m on the girl’s level, I believe we’re already friends, I assume she’s going to like me and so I approach with a very chill, playful and laid-back demeanor, almost as if we’re already friends. This should come through in my tonality, in the smoothness of the approach and the way I naturally interact with her as if there’re no filters between us. If she feels like she knows me or wonders if we met before, that’s a very good sign.

Another thing I'd add, is that a lot of confidence is less about you recognizing somethinf in yourself or adding something to your being and more about letting go of beliefs that tell you otherwise. Your default setting as an organism is Loving Yourself. That's the DEFAULT. Thats how you were as a child. You just expressed yourself with absolutely no filter and just were loving life, being playful, demanding things, dreaming big, pursuing your genuine interests, being shameless, etc. But through the necessary process of socialization, certain aspects of you got clouded in shame and thus you formed negative beliefs about specific forms of your authentic expression and labelled them as bad. The way to accomplish REAL confidence isnt through affirmation or reading a page of all your accomplishments each day -- doing those things help but the con is that you become dependent on them rather than being truly internally confident. The real path is addressing all the beliefs that tell you that you're somehow deficient and interrogating the parts of you that buy in on those beliefs until you get to the root cause of WHY and HOW those beliefs were formed and then proactively taking steps to challenge them and eventually release them.

Beautiful message but I disagree with this part here. Social skills are like a muscle you have to continually engage. Doesnt matter how much you love yourself and how confident you are, if you havent done something with a lot of momentum your fluency in it is going to atrophy. Same goes for dancing, speaking a language, working out, etc. You have to keep the momentum going by regularly using the skill. As an artist, even when I draw I usually have to start by sketching a little bit first just to get into the flow of things. This doesnt mean that im not confident in my ability to draw, it just means that my wrist and motor functions need some waking up to towards the task that im about to undertake. A lot of guys think they're too good for warming up when out socializing and you know what happens as a result of that? Nothing. They just sit around looking cool, while the guys who were humble enough to warm up a bit and talk to some people who they have no real interest in are crushing it with the most attractive people in the social arena. I've seen this happen too many times.

Y'all better strap up cause this is one of the craziest experiences I've had in the game so far and I don't mean that in a positive way. First and foremost: I'm so done dealing with these girls, man. Not only does dating take time away from my purpose and self-actualization journey, but the quality of women that I'm meeting are not even worth the sacrifice. There's always something fucked. Either she has multiple children at a very young age, or we're incompatible in our love-languages, or the sex is terrible, or she's just blatantly irresponsible, or she has some mental issue or crazy STI, or whatever. There's always something! But this last situation takes the cake for one of the WORST experiences I've had in the dating game in the last 10 years, no joke. Funny thing is that I took the entirety of June off from dating in order to reground myself and build a lifestyle that felt good for me independent of outside forces. Come July, I decided to get back in the game again with this new foundation established and literally the FIRST girl I get involved with leaves me completely traumatized! STORY-TIME -- literally shaking while I'm typing this -- Met this lady through daygame on the 1st of July. It was a short interaction where I found out that she was visiting my city from a nearby country because she wanted to check out the vibes and decide if she wanted to move here. She's beautiful, petite, in the mood for an adventure with the possibility of something more if she decides to stay, so "Sweet," I thought. We exchanged numbers and made plans to see each other this weekend when I would show her around the city. Unexpectedly, however, we spontaneously met later on that same day, after a little bit of texting, and she ended up spending the night (no sex, though, she was a virgin so we decided not to rush it). Fast forward a couple days and I end up seeing this girl yesterday again but this time I spent the night at her hotel and also spent a good chunk of today with her, too. The vibe was very sexual, romantic, sweet, cuddly, adventurous, open, vulnerable, etc. I wasn't even thinking about sex much because we were having so much chemistry together. Awesome, right? Well.. come to find out, this girl migrated to my city because her family basically disowned her, she has no friends, has a pending court date because she amassed MASSIVE debt due to using credit cards to buy shit for herself without the intention of ever paying it back, has stolen her parents' car without having a driver's license, has no money nor ANYWHERE that she could possibly go after she checks out at her hotel -- which basically means she might end up homeless yet seems very unbothered about that -- and keeps joking around that she wants to get married and have babies together. As I progressively learned more and more of the above points of interest, I went from empathetic, to sympathetic, to worried about her, to then suspicious of her, then straight up afraid that I may have ended up with a girl who is looking to move in with me, to horrified that I am dealing with a very unstable person -- that last part, I came to when I excused myself to the bathroom this morning to rub one out in order to harness the divine wisdom of post nut clarity. We had plans to spend the whole day together exploring different free festivals in the city but it was becoming obvious that this isn't a girl that I want to get super involved with but that I also couldn't just let her fend for herself. I literally had to reprimand her multiple times about the fact that she's not taking her situation seriously and that she should be coming up with a plan for what the hell she's gonna do when her checkout date (tomorrow, on sunday) comes! I did a shit ton of research on her behalf to find woman-friendly shelters and various organizations that could help her. When I finally came up with a plan for her, I took her back to her hotel room pre-maturely and basically let her know that this aint gonna work out but I wanna help her by accompanying her to the shelter and assisting her in getting in contact with the right people. She denied my offer, understandably, because she was hurt that I didn't want to be with her and after a fucking hour of trying to comfort her enough so that we can discuss the VERY URGENT PRACTICAL MATTERS AT HAND, I decided that we weren't getting anywhere and I should just leave and go home -- which I did -- only to receive a suicide note in the form of a whatsapp message from her, saying that she's gonna hurt herself and wishing me the best! Holy %$^# shit. Now I'm freaking out. I call the police, asap, and give them whatever info they need to intervene before anything happens to her. After 20 minutes, they call me and they start asking me very specific questions about "my side of the story" and I'm getting a weird vibe from the officer. He's asking me where I live, my social security number, the nature of my relationship with this girl, the extend of our physical intimacy, etc. And I'm thinking to myself now "ah, shit... what did this crazy girl say to the police, man.." Anyway, I know I didn't do anything wrong so I answer truthfully and then ask the officer if there's any way he can assist the girl by getting her to a shelter or something. He's like "Nah, dude, we're police officers not Green Peace" (he didn't say that, but that was basically the subtext behind his words). Anyway, we hang up and now this girl is blowing up my phone freaking out about me calling the police on her, me not wanting to be with her, accusing me of manipulating her, then begging me to come back to her hotel and talk, then she switches back to anger and accusations and I'm like "Dude... What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Get. Involved. With." I'm leaving a lot out because I could write a whole paper on the events that transpired but I basically ended up having to block her because she kept fucking texting and calling me. Before I did, though, I did send her all the info that she needs to find shelter and get help in case she does end up homeless. And now here I am, in the peace of quiet of my room, with my cortisol levels spiked to infinity and contemplating my entire life. I literally took a break from all dating and socializing in order to ground myself in love and build a life that fulfills me, which I successfully did, and the MOMENT I come back to the game, this shit happens. I'm so upset, man! I'm seriously contemplating staying single for life at this point. Women may have brought out the best in me in the past and have been present during some of the best experiences of my life, but they have also been responsible for some of the absolute WORST and now that I have experienced the level of fulfillment that is possible when one is just doing their own thing in isolation, it makes no sense to risk ever dealing with shit like this again in the future. If you read this far: Thank you, so much. I needed a listening ear.

Ah fair enough. Well, I honestly dont care to interact with those. I dont do quick number/instagram closes since I want to get a taste of the girl's personality first and if she's clearly in a hurry, then that goes against my standards of a solid approach. Plus, I believe in offering value when I approach women and if a girl is clearly on a mission, I view it as taking value from her and not respecting her agenda by approaching her in that context.

@Miguel1 Example: 1 - Did some day time approaching yesterday. I see a girl looking intently at her phone and I walk in front of her and say "Excuse me" in a very authoritative manner and she immediately jerks up, "Yes!" I start teasing her that I triggered one of her past lives that enrolled in the army with the way she jerked up. We had an awesome convo for like 15 minutes and exchanged info. 2 - Saw another girl yesterday towards the end of the session with a flowy dress floating in the wind. I open with "Damn, you look spiritual as hell. Bet you've been meditating for over a thousand years." She snort-giggles and we continue vibing and talking about spirituality and meditation and all that. She had a boyfriend but our vibe was very sensual and our eyes were locked the entire time. 3 - I opened another girl earlier with "If Nicki Minaj was 20 years younger, she'd look like you." Etc etc Basically, observational stuff and friendly stuff. I dont do looking for direction openers personally, but I prefer these more friendly, ambiguous opens that allow versatility.

I dont fully agree with this. Approaching indirect can work as long either: a) you transition effectively into a more direct approach later on, or b) your subcommunications are clearly displaying a sensual sexy vibe The later has actually become a problem for me since even when im trying to make friends with girls they often feel like im flirting even though im not because my vibe is naturally sensual, fun and dominant. So i have to explicitly make it known that im not looking for anything. Going in indirect works better than full direct from the start cause it buys you some time to showcase some personality first before the girl is put in a position where she has to make a decision.

Im curious, do you still go out at all? Cause based on your activity on the forum, you seem quite interested in male to female dynamics still.

@Joseph Maynor Brother, if it was that simple, guys would be getting laid all over. What are your results like, dating-wise? Do you actually have real world, extensive pick up experience? Or do you just sit on this forum day in and out, theorizing what you THINK should work?

Both. Since most men, generally speaking, have been indoctrinated into people pleasing and being ashamed of their sexuality and dominance, it is better to develop those traits first and foremost. Once you have a sufficient dose of those and you can attract women with them, then it makes sense to focus on your softer side as well (although, in my experience, those softer traits develop naturally the longer you spend around women who you have a deep bond to.)

Much better, thank you for asking, man!

@Hayato My conclusion after is all said and done is that she lied to me. And yes, learned a lot

@Zen LaCroix 🖕🏾

Today I was reminded that the way I've been living is often devoid of true passion, urgency, and abundance. I know there is so much more life available to me than the one I've been settling for. One thing became painfully clear: what I'm missing isn't more achievements. It's community. I don't need hundreds of friends. I only need a small circle of people who truly know me and love me. Three, four, maybe five people who have my back and who I have theirs. People I can laugh with, create with, call when life is hard, and share ordinary moments with. I want to sit in the park together, have deep conversations, host dinners, make art, read books, travel, and simply enjoy being alive together. The reason I don't have that isn't because I'm incapable of it. It's because I'm afraid. Deep down, I'm afraid of letting people get close enough to reject me. I'm afraid that if they truly knew me, they would see me as deficient or not enough. That same fear is the reason I struggle with relationships. I protect myself by choosing certainty over vulnerability. I avoid the women I truly want because being rejected by someone I genuinely like feels too painful. Instead, I move toward situations where I don't have to risk my heart. But that isn't the life I want anymore. I'm here for such a short time. I'm already getting older. Even if I live a long, healthy life, my years of youth and physical freedom are limited. I don't have endless time to postpone living. Every year I spend hiding behind fear is a year I'll never get back. One day I will die. Maybe there is something after death. Maybe there isn't. But what I know for certain is that I am conscious right now. Somehow I woke up into this mysterious experience called life, and one day that experience will end. That realization isn't depressing. It's liberating. It means there is absolutely no reason to spend my one life playing small. My experience of life matters because it's the only one I will ever have. I don't want to live according to my parents' expectations, society's expectations, or anyone else's definition of success. I want to live in a way that feels deeply alive to me. I want to connect. I want to create. I want to love. I want to read books in the park simply because it brings me joy. I want to call friends instead of waiting for them to call me. I want to visit my brother just because I can. I want to make time for the people I love. I want to create art. I want to make videos where I simply sit in nature and share what I'm thinking. I don't want to hide behind perfection or scripts. I want to speak honestly about life, pain, growth, purpose, and love. I want to share my perspective because that's who I am. I'm a deep person, and I want to stop apologizing for that. I want to draw. I want to write. I want to read. I want to build my YouTube channel in a way that feels authentic to me. I want to express myself freely without worrying about whether I'm good enough. Worth has nothing to do with any of this. I don't need to earn permission to live. I'm already here. I'm already conscious. That is enough. Instead of constantly asking whether I'm worthy, I want to ask whether I'm truly living. I don't need to wait until I have the perfect career, the perfect apartment, or the perfect circumstances before I start living passionately. Yes, I'll continue studying. I'll work hard, I'll pursue a career that gives me financial freedom and purpose. I'll explore my educational options carefully. But none of that means I have to postpone living. I can still call a friend. I can still join dance classes. I can still start martial arts again. I can still create. I can still laugh. I can still love. I can still host dinners. I can still build the community I've always wanted. Eventually, I want my life to be centered around connection. I want to wake up every morning asking myself, "How can I bring value to someone's life today? How can I show more love today?" That's the life I want. Not one built on fear. Not one built on validation. One built on connection. Because connection requires vulnerability. If I want deep friendships, I have to let people know me. If I want real love, I have to risk rejection. If I want a meaningful life, I have to stop waiting. Life isn't happening later. Life is happening now. So I choose to live now. I choose to connect now. I choose to create now. I choose to love now. I choose to be fully myself. My time is limited. That isn't a reason to be afraid. It's the greatest reason to truly live.

@WonderSeeker What a beautiful response, brother! I will take everything you said to heart. I don't feel seriously traumatized by this, mostly just shook, but it did bring to my awareness all the ways that I sabotage myself from attracting an amazing woman to me. I will transform into a new man because if this, mark my words.

@Valach Your argument has no foundation. You went from using the pain that women feel from guys not texting them to now moralizing about the ethics and integrity behind flirting with a girl you're not attracted to, after your initial point fell flat. And yes, you might live in a city where there are many attractive women concentrated in a small area -- or you just have low standards -- but that's not most guy's situation. Additionally, not many guys have an hour to walk around and prowl the streets for girls. People have lives. There's nothing wrong with approaching a girl and flirting with her just for the sake of it. In fact, its win win, in my opinion. I cant tell you how many times I approached a woman and had her thank me for flattering her with my attention because she was having a bad day or whatever. Flirting with women is a skill that requires a lot of practise if you're a newbie. Applying your logic to the financial aspect would be like telling a man who has no skills or education not to apply to minimum wage jobs and only apply to the jobs he really wants (lawyer, doctor, etc). How's that gonna work out for him? You have to start somewhere. And this is not me attacking you btw, bro. But you're just wrong.

@Valach I disagree with your stance. If flirting and getting phone numbers was such a big deal to the women then the flake rate wouldn't be so high in daygame. By your logic, most numbers you get from daygame should convert into dates because the flirting and number exchange meant to much to the girl to the point that she's invested enough to be disappointed when you don't reach out. Anyone who has ever done any cold approaching ever knows this is false. Most numbers are flakes, even at an advanced level. A girl flakes because she doesnt care mucb about you or the interaction to see you again. Point. Blank. Period. A guy who is learning to be better with women should absolutely go flirt with all kinds of women and practise the skillset. You're greatly overestimating the fragility of women. They don't care as much as you think they do.

UPDATE This just happened. So, the crazy girl texted me from an alternative whatsapp number that I suspect belongs to a friend of hers -- which if true, means she lied about not having friends. The picture on the whatsapp number is of an Asian girl, so it can't be a family member. Anyway, here's the message [edited for anonymity]: "Hey its me, i just wanted to Tell you im in [home country] i Managed to stay Here for few weeks ill be back to [my city] when i get my Apartment and job. I just wanted to Tell you so you will Not worry and that you know. I miss you and i loved Every Minute we spend togheter thats why i wish you the best for your life your a Wunderful man. ❤️ thank you for the help you offerd an im Sorry for the trouble i brang. This all Gave me a lot of Pain but that motivates me to finally Work on my life. Thats all i wanted to say, keep going with your Channel and drawings you are Really Talented and i know youll be succesful soon. ❤️ i miss you really and im das that this all did end Like that but ill work on my life and you too be the baddest coolest which you Are already 🥰 take care of yourself and keep going im Proud how dar you have come already and you Should too. ❤️❤️" Awww. [Translation: "Fuckin bitch"] So she managed to get back home which already contradicts so many things she said to me, namely that she had no money and no friends or family that could financially help her or offer her a place to stay because she has nowhere to go even in her home country. Now it makes sense why she was so chill about the possibility of being homeless. Cause bitch was lying. Regardless, this is a huge relief for me. She's back home and I dont have to worry about her showing up at my house or stalking me or whatever. I blocked this new number as well and will be moving forward with the primary objective to make my life even more awesome, work further on my psychology so that I only attract high quality women who are not fucked and have the better discernment to filter out those that are. Lets hope this is the end of this chapter. Moving on. Thank you for reading.

@Miguel1 I appreciate your response, man. Before I answer your question, I doubt she will try to accuse me of anything considering her situation. She's clearly afraid of getting involved with the police in any way and if she were to try to frame me for anything, I have a shit ton of pictures of us and messages that clearly illustrate that she was an active participant in everything and, in some instances, also the primary initiator. Plus she was literally begging me to go back to her hotel room after the police visit, so yeah. Now, your question: Yeah, i definitely could have. The moment she opened up about her parents, I should have dug deeper. She revealed that to me on our first meet after I got her number. I wouldn't say that it was a reason for me to drop her completely, but definitely a sign that I need to take a step back and start interrogating her situation further, but I responded with massive empathy for her instead. Having that said, though, when I saw her on Friday -- the day before I made the main post -- she revealed the rest of the info, so I should have been thinking about bailing immediately after. Full honesty though, she was so pretty and I was on like 14 days of nofap so I wasn't thinking very clearly, which is still not a valid excuse my recklessly bonding with her further. Natasha's question was very insightful, though. I forwarded my answer to chatgpt and gemini and got those AI systems to identify any unhealthy paradigms, frames and behaviours by reading between the lines of what was stated and basing their findings on psychological literature and healthy dating theory etc. Then I had each AI cross examine the other's answers until I got a full and very accurate breakdown of my ways and how they might be pushing my perfect relationship away. Finally, I had them craft an action plan for me in order to tackle these problems head on. This experience might just be the beginning of a much more elevated chapter in my life.

@Natasha Tori Maru Beautiful question, thank you for asking. Some things off the top of my head: 1) Street Cold Approaching itself, in my current city at least, isn't something that a high quality woman is likely to be receptive to. A lot of the women who I've connected with on tbe street usually have a glaring flaw of some kind and it makes sense to think that a well rounded woman would want to meet her partner in a shared environment where she can get a robust sample of his personality over a longer period of time. Meeting and making friends in social environments (bars, clubs, meetup events, classes) seems to filter better. 2) Having that said, I have met some seemingly high quality women through cold approaching on the street in my city and what I noticed is that these women do require a lot of 'get to know you' over text which I'm often not interested in doing much. This, in turn, filters out women who would have been amazing to me had I taken the time to really connect with them over text and build a solid feeling of security for both parties and instead filters in the women who are immediately just down, for whatever reason. Not to say that if a woman is enthusiastic to meet up after a brief convo is low value, but it is more likely that a high quality woman will need a bit more effort than that. 3) To build up on the above point: The way I date is very instant gratification. I meet a girl and I try to move things along as quickly as possible. If I cant take her home right there and then, I'll do the bare minimum texting and try to invite her over (depending on the vibe), if not that then I'll do a date and try to move things forward from there. This way of operating doesnt leave me much room to ask "Hey, is this girl truly what I want in my life right now?" I mostly operate through autopilot and while I do ask a lot of screening questions, I do think I often need to take a step back without escalating and, quite frankly, rub one out so that I can contemplate whether I truly see myself being with her long term. That means going on a low investment date first without the intention of anything happening and simply getting to know the person, such as coffee, limonade, a walk, a picnic, or invite her along whenever I go to a museum or something. Doing this, will also attract more high quality women who wouldn't be receptive to my advances prematurely. 4) I need more hobbies. My life is very practical at the moment, but I should keep one day a week for socializing in a way that allows me to also engage with an activity I enjoy. I'm currently considering salsa classes. Additionally though, I've been wanting to create my own meetup event where I invite people to basically create art together and share vibes with each other, but havent gotten around to it yet. 5) When it comes to me, personally, as a being, I am attracted to women who are naturally very feminine and submissive to me. However, women who embody the above at the highest level, I noticed, are that way because they have certain problems in their life and are looking for a man to kinda save them. Now, that's not always toxic. My ex, for example, was an amazing woman who also really looked up to me for my strength, vision, ambition and strong boundaries, which she also wanted to embody more of. However, most of the time, these women are lacking something that they're outsourcing to a man to fulfill which is inherently unhealthy. 6) Because I'm not where I want to be in life, financially I subconsciously may feel undeserving of a high value woman who is fully put together. I sometimes notice that if a woman looks successful, I get intimidated by her and don't approach her because I think to myself that I'd have no value to her. I know this isn't true in practise, since a lot of those women care a lot more about a man's intrinsic qualities because they dont need a man's resources, but I seem to reject myself before giving it a chance. This may also be why I tend to date women that fit the mold I described in the above point because deep down those women give me a sense of security that I lack when dealing with a woman who is more in her power, even though logically I find those women better long term. 7) Lastly, I may also be afraid to lose my independence and freedom. A girlfriend requires higher maintenance than a casual fuckbuddy. She requires communication, dates, support, emotional availability, conflict resolution at times and I've been doing my thing for so long that it would feel like a sacrifice to be with her. Also, a high quality woman wants a man to be ambitious and constantly developing himself to be able to either provide for the relationship or at least see a future where she and him are a financial match. Now, I am a very ambitious and disciplined man, but sometimes I feel like having a woman by my side who is also invested in my future would add extra pressure on me to move along faster than I'm ready to, so there's that insecurity as well.

@Rishabh R Indeed, this is the path. When I got back into dating, I told myself that I would only deal with women who I see long-term potential with, even if it means that it might take meeting 1000s just to find 1 that qualifies. This whole situation is the universe's way of punishing me for not fully sticking to that, I guess.

@oOo Thank you for this advice. I will definitely take it to heart.

@Valach That sounds terrifying, man! I have a friend who was also falsely accused of stuff from his BPD ex and it left him with massive anxiety for years. @LordFall I used to meditate a lot but these days I'm so focused on what needs to be done in my life that I just don't have much time for these esoteric practises. As far as life goes, I'm currently pursuing a master's in Business/Marketing Administration, but need to complete a GMAT before I qualify, so studying for that keeps me very busy. Full transparency though, while I am content with my daily routine and sense of direction, I do not feel happy with my current job. I manage a private espresso bar and saving as much as I can for the master's I want to do next year, but it's a job that doesn't fulfill me at all and since I am not fluent in the local language, my options are limited with my current education (I hold a bachelors for Illustration and Animation Design, which I quickly learned wasn't helping me much in the job market). My current plan is to get the Master's, get a decent job, grind hard to get my local language levels up and start doing more creative work on the side, as that is my true passion in life.

@Valach I know, man. I don't feel insulted, just still in shock about the whole thing. Interestingly enough, I actually usually do treat virgins as red flags, since my experience has proven that virgin adult women tend to be absolute weirdos. This time, though, I thought it'd be different, I guess. We live and we learn.

@aurum Brother, I want to settle down! But I can't, for the life of me, meet a woman who I feel secure enough to do that with! I honestly feel like it's the city I'm in or something. I've never met so many deeply flawed people until I moved here about a year ago.