I'm a ghost. You will forget me in no time. I'm just a random internet person. Also I have both good and bad traits. As long as you don't believe everything I say word to word, it is fine. Always use your own judgement and experience and a few insights from others. Nobody is perfect. Your life journey is unique and your decisions should be totally your own choice. Don't be too attached to people because it will destabilize your own image and identity. You will become too dependent on others. Instead of attaching yourself to a person or persons, just take from them  what is helpful for you. Don't idolize anyone. 

@Candlecame home. 
So these are the videos that I found to be most useful. They are from the channel Crappy Childhood Fairy. Although there are many more videos that exist on the subject, I found these to be especially helpful. 
 
 
 
 
 
Patrick Teahan is a great resource on childhood trauma and how it impacts social growth, personality, emotions and relationships. His video on Limerence is very helpful in understanding why we attach to certain people. 
 
 
I hope you find these resources helpful. 
 

@Candle also along with limerence, you might want to look into parasocial relationships that mostly happen to someone online. 
[ From ChatGPT —
A parasocial relationship (PSR) is a one-sided emotional connection that a person forms with a media figure or fictional character. The person investing in the relationship is unaware that the other person is aware of them. 
PSRs can be with celebrities, fictional characters, sports teams, bloggers, social media users, and gamers. They can range from light-hearted to intense, and can even become unhealthy if they interfere with real life. 
PSRs can be formed through: 
Media consumption: Watching TV shows, videos, or podcasts
Social media: Following celebrities or influencers on social media platforms. ] 
 
I developed parasocial relationship with Leo after following him for a long time. Not romantic or anything. I still crave his validation on the forum sometimes. It happens, I mean I'm not ashamed of it. Because I also have a parasocial relationship with Sadhguru. If I watch someone for a long time, I develop a parasocial relationships with them because my emotional needs weren't met in childhood. Usually if I consider someone my teacher or guru I tend to feel emotionally connected with them. Some sort of attachment. It's like fangirling. 
So when Leo says anything good to me, I get a kick out of it lol. I think this happens to others too. A lot of people feel good when Leo congrats them. It's sort of validation seeking, it's both good and bad at the same time. 
These days I try not to seek validation or at least try to minimize this whole validation seeking behavior/culture. That's why I turned off my follower on my profile because I don't want anyone following me and making me feel validated. 
I still feel good when someone praises me which I think is natural. Because it boosts endorphins and dopamine. 
Both praise/criticism are validation seeking behaviors, the object is different that is all. When someone judges us, we try to please them, that can elicit validation seeking behavior too. I try to minimize all these behaviors as much as possible. So if someone pays me a compliment or criticizes me, I try to not pay attention to it as it subtly manipulates the brain into seeking validation without being aware of it. I try to stop that drug in it's track. 
This is significant in relationships as your attachment level and attachment style will partially determine what sort of people you attract and also influence the dynamic of a relationship - for example you might not want to leave a bad relationship simply because you are attached to a person and you keep justifying their behavior to yourself, your mind can do it subconsciously without you realizing it and this can lead to bad consequences. 
You might want to look into attachment styles. There are also online tests for attachment styles. The attachment styles depends on your level and dynamic of your attachment to the other person. This will help you identify problems in your attachment styles that might spill into your future relationships so that you get to study it and avoid potential relationship problems. 
Best of luck. I hope that helps. 
 

If someone compliments me I try to not let it inflate my ego. I just say thank you for the sake of courtesy but don't try to get too excited about it because I know that person could be  flattering me just to stroke my ego or even if what they said is true, I take it as positive feedback but I don't try to get hyper excited with it. It doesn't give me the dopamine rush it once used to. Now I'm more mindful about compliments. I tell myself that it is a compliment and that I should just focus on improving myself steadily and not make a big deal out of it. Not even fish for compliments. (Some people directly or indirectly fish for compliments.) I let the feeling pass. The feeling of excitement comes. I observe it. I let it pass. I don't let it influence me too much. So the other day a friend of mine said to me "you're such a sweet friend".... I paused and told myself "it's okay. I have my bad traits as well." I try to humble myself whenever someone praises me. I try to control that ego boost or ego kick. The problem with enjoying compliments is the same problem you will have with eating chocolate. You will want more and more. It becomes an addiction. So I just let the desire to enjoy a compliment pass away. This way I'm not dependent on it. 
Regarding criticism - I criticize myself enough already. When someone criticizes me, it creates an urge in me to please them, to convince them, to argue or defend myself. I simply don't pay attention to the criticism, then I don't have to worry about pleasing a critical person. Critics and haters can be like trolls. The more you feed them, the more they grow. If their criticism is genuinely useful for me in my life, then I take it as positive feedback. If not, I throw it away in my mental dustbin. 
With greater  self confidence, these behaviors go away on their own and the path begins to clear by itself. 
(chatgpt not used in this post) 
 

(chatgpt was not used while writing this post) 
This is my own opinion based on my own experience. The internet may or may not agree with me. But I'll state my own opinion since it's something I tend to rely on. 
Crush - crush is a feeling of temporary romantic attraction. Mostly happens in schools. You might think about them a lot. You might want to spend time with them. You might feel happy when you're around them. Crush can be non-romantic. But usually most people describe it in a romantic sense. Crushes don't last long. My first crush lasted 3 months. I used to like a guy that my sister had introduced me to at a party. He was her friend. He was quite handsome. Crush is mostly due to physical attraction. Crush is generally light hearted and usually goes away on its own like a fever. 
Limerence - to me limerence sounds stronger than crush. The feeling is constant and the desire is obsessive. It doesn't go away easily. Some people might need psychological intervention. Therapy helped me a bit. It went away eventually and gradually with the help of therapy. The therapist told me to develop higher self confidence and practice self love. I still suffer but it's much better than what it used to be. 
PSR - I think this can be both romantic and non-romantic. It's simply an attachment. It's extremely common. The intensity depends on how obsessed you are with the person. It can last really long. Crushes are usually extremely short. PSR might lead to hero-worshipping, fangirling behaviors. The danger with this is that you might start believing everything that person says. Example - a cult... Sadhguru has that effect on many people. Crush can happen with anyone close or distant, usually someone close, like someone in your classroom and usually romantic dreaming with them. PSR usually happens with cult leaders, celebrities, social media gurus, politicians (example Trump fans) PSR can influence your worldview and opinion if you cannot put a lid on it. That's why Leo often emphasizes on using critical reasoning and thinking rather than blindly believing his thoughts and concepts. He wants to actively reduce the PSR effect and he doesn't want Actualized to be a cult which is honestly a great thing about his integrity. 
Crush, limerence, PSR are just different forms of attachments and dependencies and usually have overlapping features and similarities. 
 

(no chatgpt used in writing this post) 
It depends largely on how much importance you place on his opinions about you. It also depends on how you place him socially in relation to you or how he is placed by the human social system in relation to you. Is he in a higher position financially, socially or hierarchy-wise in relation to you? Does he have more friends than you do or a wider social circle? Does he have community influence? 
Do you feel insecure around him in regard to your self image? Do you feel like he will make you look bad in front of others? As in he might say something nasty about you and others might believe it? Do you feel like his insults are somewhat true or have validity to them?
Your problems are both external and internal. By psychoanalyzing your post (although more context would have been better), I'm concluding that you are having these issues —
1. Low self confidence. You inherently don't feel super good about yourself. Maybe there's a dip in your confidence levels. You don't feel super duper confident even though subconsciously you would like to. 
2. You overthink other's opinions. You are putting in too much value into what this person thinks or says to you. It either hurts your dignity/self respect or you give too much value/validation to it. 
3. You subconsciously believe it (his insults) to be true. This may or may not be true. This could purely be  my assumption. If you believe them to be true, for example, someone might consider themselves to be fat because they were fat shamed. In this case you'll need to determine if his opinion or insult is shaping your self image in your mind. If he is being constructively critical of you, then it's okay for you to explore it. Since he is insulting you, you should not believe it to be true at all. It will impact your self esteem. This process is called internalization where our mind tends to internalize what the other person is saying and actually begin to believe them. It's very harmful. 
4. You feel like fighting it off - you are probably attached to your self image that any insult becomes a threat to your inner self image. Then you feel an intense urge to fight it or resist. This is okay. The feeling is completely valid although not useful as it will take away your inner peace. It will bolster the bully as they can see that you give them attention and they relish in you fighting back. Fighting and resisting it is okay too if that makes you feel like you are standing your ground. But if you're ruminating over it constantly, then it's already eating your peace of mind. 
Now external problems —
1. You could be in a unhealthy environment where this person is being extremely toxic to you from time to time, triggering you on purpose and it would be safer to simply remove yourself from their vicinity if it's too much of a headache. This is not your internal problem but something that could happen to anyone with healthy self esteem and the abuse should not be tolerated. This might mean that his bad behavior is really crossing the limit and it's best to not engage with his harmful conduct. This might happen where despite trying your best to keep your internal locus of control and inner peace, it still bothers you. Here the problem is external and your inner mindset didn't play a part in making you feel worse. It's overly toxic and you are better off without that environment. 
2. These incidents have happened to you in the past and they are probably happening again and causing you stress. Or they are just something you're always sensitive to and you operate healthier, optimal and better when such things don't exist. In which case, they are best avoided and you shouldn't think that something internal is hindering you. Just avoid people who act like jerks. 
3. Higher position - if this person is at a higher position socially then you, then it's completely valid for you to feel bad about yourself after hearing their insults. The human mind naturally places more value on someone's opinion if that someone is considered more important socially. In this case too, you simply try not to validate their insult or let it impact. They are not important and they shouldn't have an influence on you. Try to not give them power from your side and stand your ground internally although this is a bit tougher to do when the person is in an authority position. For example if someone random insults me I wouldn't feel as much bad as I would if my own mother insults me, since I view her as more important than others. 
Hope it helps. 

It works just as well for introverted people. And introverts need it more.
The point of alcohol is to help people loosen up and enter a social state which is otherwise hard to enter sober. It gets you out of your head.
Wine is gross.
Vodka cranberry is the way.

Personally, being a server/waiter years ago at a restaurant has changed my personality a ton. I used to be very shy and nervous in front of strangers. I developed lots of soft skills with people and completely removed all the social anxiety problems I had most of my life. Just learning to attend to others needs in an appropriate, timely manner helped a lot with basic work skills. It also made me enough money to buy my first car…

In my leisure walks, I always try to give just "good morning", to whoever I feel looks open for it. Sometimes, I say to a few, sometimes I go out of my way and even say good morning to people that don't feel open, and I get sometimes surprised with their kind tone of voices back.
Each person answers with very different tones of voice back, super random.
It was the single most important thing I did against my social anxiety, it's feeling now automatically to say good morning.
I always try to get this feeling of openness inside myself when I say hi to a neighbor, as opposed to being stuck in my head.
I almost never go past the "good morning/afternoon/evening", unless it's with some neighbor I already actually talked before already.
But I'm trying now to get into the small talk territory more often, hahah.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcs2PFz5q6g
https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_urges.pdf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeI7kdZ4vVk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6K3mTI4zQU
 

On a previous forum post I did a few months ago, Leo Gura had written to me:
I let the worst of my weakness of my past habits get the best of me, again.
I just had a break-up again, with this girl online that we built intense rapport for each other for the past 20 days.
It just feels way too good for my ego, even though I knew I couldn't meet her soon enough, and it wouldn't have been economically feasible, the economic risk even if I had it. But I still kept at it. It just felt too good at the moment.
She was the one that initiated the break-up, for my own good, after all. She kept bringing reality into it, and she wanted to untangle, and I kept fulling the delusion, and she kept falling for it, but today she tried again to go for an ultimatum, she gave us time to talk about it, to process it emotionally, to let me ask questions. And I was just tired of trying to convince her otherwise again, she said we couldn't continue communicating even as friends, we couldn't ever see each other just like that by this point, and that we should break any dreams for any future together that we had. She was utterly in passion with me, and it made her scared of how obsessive she became for me.
She was just my type, could have been my dream girl. 😩
If I had only met her in person fast enough, she was so ready.
That feeds my ego like crack.

The Original To Do List
I will update this list, cross things out I've worked through, write entries according to this list. When I finish around  75% of the items on this list (so about 27 items)  , I will compile a new one. The items may be vague but details are in my main journal.
I like to think of this list as the stuff I'm
~~~***manifesting***~~~
Gain clarity about career/life purpose Retake the life purpose course Get an internship Achieve financial freedom Move out of my parents’ house Cultivate a clear vision (main character energy) Stop demonizing capitalism Stop procrastinating Be gentle with yourself Create more discipline through empathy Heal issues around competence and perfectionistic tendencies Treat yourself and feel comfortable with spending money on yourself Don’t compare yourself to others Work through shame Heal body image issues Do fun self care things like taking a bath, face masks, etc. Build your social life Make friends and get into a short term relationship Deal with social anxiety Stop seeing yourself as  weird, inherently unlovable, and unworthy of connections Stop feeling like you have to be 100% perfect in order to be loved Deal with the fear of running out of things to say Get comfortable with public speaking and having the spotlight (main character energy) Get out more, go to a few parties, go to a rave Shadow work Deal with your issues around competence Step into your main character energy by: Romanticizing your life by being gentle with yourself Having a clear vision and purpose Having a social life and getting rid of social anxiety Creating more confidence Deal with spiritual ego Take a break from spiritual content and connect back with your material self Integrate basic bitch energy and stop thinking you’re weird Get out of your head and stop hyper analyzing

Definitely helped me change some of my views when I contemplate the things she says with ChatGPT consensus. 

I see a chronic problem on this sub-forum, which is young males who complain about lack of success with women and failing to take responsibility for their situation.
The #1 rule of all growth and personal development is taking 100% responsibility for your situation. I know how hard that can be when you're struggling with women/sex. It feels very much like life is treating you unfairly and that it's the women's fault. Let me tell you right now: this is a total ILLUSION! It's not the women. It's not society. It's not post-modernists. It's not the Marxists. It's not the feminists. It's YOU!
This is not me blaming you. This is simply how all personal development works. Whatever problem you have in life you must begin by getting honest with yourself how you created it. Sometimes this is difficult to accept. It's much easier to blame someone else, or even blame yourself (for being too ugly or too short or too introverted). I am not suggesting you blame yourself. Rather, take ownership of the fact that you are the creator of your life. Whatever is missing in your life, you can correct, but only if you stop blaming yourself and others.
Be very mindful of how your ego-mind creates narratives which justify your sense of lack, brokenness, or inability to attract women. All of these narratives, justification, rationalizations, logic, "facts", scientific studies, proofs, etc are sneakily fabricated by your own mind! Your own mind is the enemy! Watch it like a hawk. Your mind will try to come up with reasons and excuses for why your life is unfair and how success with women is impossible. This is all horseshit! Do not believe your own mind here. Your mind is clouded by fear, insecurity, and neediness. That is totally normal and understandable, but you cannot resolve your problems from such a place. From such a place your problems will get worse as you start to blame the world and solidify your victim worldview with cherry-picked evidence, "science", and "logic". Be extra suspicious of "logic" and "science" here. There is nothing logical or scientific about your victim attitude or lack of success with women. It's purely about meeting the survival needs of your ego. Sex is a very powerful survival need which will drive your mind towards all manner of mental gymnastics to ensure that you get it, or at least feel better for not getting it.
There's good news and bad news. The good news is: Your looks are NOT the problem! The bad news is: your personality, attitude, and mindset are terrible! The good news is, it's possible to change that. The bad news is, it won't be easy and you will resist it like the devil that you are.
So what's the solution? Take ownership of your problem and commit to resolving it. For this you need faith and confidence in your ability to self-actualize. You must have enough hope and vision to see yourself get much better with attracting women. This is NOT a pipe dream or fuzzy thinking. The reality is that any man can become 100x better at attracting women if he really takes ownership of the matter. Yes, it takes serious work. But it's also highly worth it. Imagine that within 3 years you're able to attract pretty women and feel confident about yourself when it comes to dating. Isn't that worth the effort? It sure is. This is not a fantasy. I've done it, many men have done it, and so can you! Your looks are NOT the bottleneck, your mindset is.
So what do you do after you've established this vision? You must do lots of research to educate yourself about how dating actually work (not how you think it works). Find videos, find books, buy online courses, hire a coach, take a bootcamp, take a workshop, etc. There are literally hundreds of excellent resources available online these days. Most of them are legit, not scams. Study them hard and then get into the field. Start talking to women. Start approaching women. Start flirting with women. Start being much more social.
If you struggle attracting women I can tell you right now what your top problems are. It's not lack of money, looks, muscles, car, height, or dick size. Remember, attraction and dating is EXTREMELY counter-intuitive. It's works exactly the opposite of how you initially think.
Your top problems are:
You live in your mancave and never go out! You must go out into social spaces where real women hang out. You spend WAY too much time online, indoors You spend WAY too much time on Youtube, Netflix, and playing video games You work too much You are never around cute single women You never start conversations with strangers You have terrible body language due to lack of experience You are not comfortable doing small-talk and being emotional and random in conversations You are far too logical You approach zero women on a regular basis You are terrified of approaching a women who you find attractive, talking yourself out of every approach You have terrible eye contact, you don't smile, and you don't project your voice properly You are crippled by fear and tongue-tied You are unable to start and sustain an interesting conversation with a human being You are disconnected from your body, your heart, your feelings, your emotions You have terrible self-image issues. You hate yourself, you hate how you look, you judge yourself way too harshly. You judge yourself just as harshly as you judge women. You have a bad sense of dress style and you don't groom yourself well You have no experience with physically touching women in a non-creepy way. You don't know how to rapidly physically escalate on a women without creeping her out. You don't know how women think or what they truly value in a man You don't know how to flirt and be authentic You are trying to be masculine in all the wrong ways -- fake masculinity You are needy, needy, needy You are terribly inexperienced You have no sense of passion or purpose in life, which robs you of confidence and masculine vitality Your attitude sucks: you whine, complain, bitch, moan, blame, and are so negative You think you understand life, reality, and how attraction works -- you don't! So work on fixing all of that before you go blaming women. All of the above can be deliberately worked on and fixed.
You need to learn how to be a real man. Being a real man has nothing to do with big muscles, big dick, or a fast car. A real man is grounded on the INSIDE. It's ALL about inner game! You need to cultivate that confidence. It doesn't come naturally. You must build it!
80% of getting good with women is just actually being much more social. You need to deliberately re-structure your life so that you're automatically being more social. So that you're going out every weekend. So that you're bumping into new people constantly. So that you're making new friends all the time. This kind of re-structuring is very doable. You just have to be willing to change your lifestyle.
And stop watching or listening to any of the following:
Jordan Peterson, MGTOW, RedPill, Incel material/forums/reddit All of that is cancer of the mind. It's reinforcing your victim mindset and robbing you of your ability to change yourself.
I've been where you are. I know it's tough. But hang in there, hold your vision, have hope, get to work, and things will dramatically improve for you. You will become a new person by the end of this journey and you will be so proud of yourself. You will become a real man, not some whiny JP fanboy.
The #1 thing a real man does is take 100% responsibility for all his problems. A real man NEVER blames anyone, and certainly not women or feminism. A real man is a feminist. A real man fearlessly works on himself.
So start right there! Start by fixing that.

In the end you ain't doing shit. God runs you. And if God deems you to be bitter you will be bitter over a glass of spilled milk.

Where do I even begin? It’s been so long since I’ve put my thoughts into words, and now, as I sit here, I’m overwhelmed by the weight of everything I’ve been carrying. My life feels tangled up in so many addictions—process addictions like porn, television, YouTube, music, movies, and the constant need to chat and socialize with others. On top of that, there’s caffeine, junk food, criticism, and judgment. It’s clear that something has to change. Honestly, everything feels like it has to change.
But this—writing—feels like a start. A space to vent, reflect, and hopefully unravel some of the chaos inside me. My belief system is flawed, warped by negativity, shame, and guilt. I spend too much time replaying old wounds, thinking about people who wronged me or called me a narcissist 10 or even 20 years ago. I’ve made progress—quitting cocaine, alcohol, and marijuana—but I’ve only swapped those substances for new vices. I feel like I’m spinning in circles, terrified of what’s next.
My finances are a disaster. My house is a mess. My mind feels like a storm. I take Vyvanse and Escitalopram daily, along with other supplements, but I’m still scattered, anxious, and struggling to feel grounded. I love my wife. I love my dog. But I don’t love parts of myself—my NVLD, ADHD, anxiety, shame, and guilt. I resent my addictions and how they seem to control me. I resent my lack of creativity, which feels dulled by the very medications that are supposed to help me. I’m functioning, but it’s at a level far below what I know I’m capable of.
Looking back, it’s clear this struggle started long ago. I was overdue as a baby, didn’t want to come into the world. Forceps and suction were used to pull me out. A hernia surgery. Colic that had me crying for six months straight. It feels like the challenges began before I even had a chance to take my first steps. I remember being an aggressive, angry child—hurting myself, hurting others. I felt selfish then, and sometimes, I still do.
But today, something has to shift. Maybe I can’t tackle everything at once, but I can focus on the little things. My wife and I will go for a walk. We’ll put away the laundry. We’ll clean the kitchen. These aren’t huge steps, but they’re steps forward, and that’s what matters.
I know I’m codependent and scared. My body feels the weight of everything—I sweat under my arms and palms, my chest tightens with anxiety. I’m overweight, obese even, and I carry shame about that too. But amidst all of this, I want to believe there’s hope. I suspect I have C-PTSD, and I know I’m deeply traumatized and sensitive, but I’m working toward finding help—a therapist who can guide me through this maze.
I love you, @Leo Gura. I want to believe that I understand everything you say, but the truth is, I don’t. I’m not university-educated, and I floated my way through school and life, relying on my mother to do my homework for me. My story is one of trauma and self-hate, but you bring me hope and inspiration. You make me laugh and smile. I don’t always agree with everything you say, but I don’t have to—you never said I did.
I know I’m going off on a tangent here, but I’ve been listening to you since 2013 or 2014, and I haven’t truly done the work. I wasn’t ready. I was too caught up being a fuck boy—a selfish, self-loathing, nihilistic, vain, and looks-obsessed boy who lacked self-esteem. I was one of the punk, emo kids you mentioned in your newest video.
Now, I realize that mental health is crucial for me. I need to cut the caffeine, get into therapy, and start loving and accepting myself—including my bisexuality. I’m learning that my attachments, especially to my family, were unhealthy. My sister was sick with Crohn’s disease, and my mother is co-dependent. Addiction runs rampant in my family, and it has left deep marks on me.
It’s time to change. It’s time to weave brighter threads into my life. I don’t have all the answers, but today, I’m taking the first steps toward becoming the person I want to be. This isn’t the end of my story—it’s just the beginning of a new chapter.

I'd like to introduce Nora Bateson to this forum. She does not get the attention she deserves. Nora Bateson is the only other person I would put on the same level as Daniel Schmachtenberger when it comes to profound, systems-level thinking while maintaining a depth of heart. Her work embodies an extraordinary sense of interconnectedness and ecological understanding that feels deeply ingrained in her very way of being. She explores the relational dynamics that shape our world in ways that transcend traditional reductionist frameworks. If you’re familiar with Spiral Dynamics, Nora is a beautiful example of turquoise consciousness—her thinking will push you far beyond orange patterns of logic and analysis, challenging you to embrace the complexity, nuance, and interdependence of life. My heart is always more open after I have listened to her.
 
Nora talking with Susanne Cook-Greuter:
Nora Speaking with Daniel:
A more recent conversation with Nora:
 

Buying sex is most of the time exploitation. Because a prostitute doesn’t chose her work from her free will it’s usually economic circumstances, drug abuse, other problems making her turn to prostitution in desperation or being forced or coerced by someone. That’s the majority of it. Selling sex isn’t like any other job because it’s something intimate.

Prostitution has a toll on the female body and soul. I heard from girls who worked in the business for a long time they can’t get orgasms anymore because they are worn out. And on the level of the soul the damage is even bigger. It should be heavily regulated and women should be vetted with multiple psychological tests before they get a permit. 

You

If a man is seen crying by his teammates, he will lose all their respect or even be beaten or killed.
There's not room for crying like girl on the battlefield.
Man's function is to get difficult things done. Not to cry about it.
Police don't have time to cry, they gotta shoot a knife-wielding lunatic 10 times in the chest within a split second.
Watch some of those police cam videos and you see why men are not allowed to cry.

Not true in my experience.
You just got to cry from a solid foundation, not from a pathetic place like a wounded child. If you are confident in your masculinity then crying will not change or shake that.

How Claude has answered this question if anyone's curious.
 
 

When you take exogenous testosterone or other androgenic compounds, at a certain amount you literally lose the ability to cry. You can be very sad but it never really comes. 🤔

There are many adaptations that are no longer fit to our societal structure that have created and maintained taboos against male weakness.
When you live in a pre-industrial world where everything is open to the elements and the societal infrastructure is lacking, men have to serve as the infrastructure and container that keeps the elements out so that the women and children can be safe.
And in these settings, there is not much room to the physically stronger ones of the species to be tender and in touch with their emotions because they must harden themselves and even kill to survive.
But in our current level of societal development, the role that men used to play is borne out by other structures and institutions. And we are much safer now than we've ever been before.
So, men also get to be inside the container... instead of serving as the container itself.
And that gives men more space to tune into their feelings and cry and work through psychological pain... and to be more integrated with their Feminine side.
But people who haven't evolved their paradigm to align with the current state of society will see these changes in a negative light and still hold taboos against men expressing their emotions because they are still attached to operating off of pre-industrial agrarian adaptations and gender roles.
And they will feel intense disapproval at male tears because there's a sense of "Who will protect the village from the tyranny of the neighboring village?" and "Who will kill the meat?"
Similarly to women individuating from the relational roles of wife and mother... men developing emotional heath and psychological wholeness is a symptom of collective community-actualization.
And community actualization on this level is only possible as the societal structure develops and rigid adherence to gender roles is no longer required to survive.
But if you get pushback from people about showing your emotions... just remember that that's a sign that they're still functioning off of the agrarian peasant-paradigm. And they will not see the value of it because men showing their emotions doesn't fit with their worldview.