onacloudynight

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About onacloudynight

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  1. Also does anyone know what the safest maximum dose is to take plugged?
  2. I just took 40mg of DPT last night. Let me just say I thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't really feel GOD-like or anything, maybe I am just not ready or conscious enough or something but I can see why people say that DPT has a more "darker" tone to it then other substances. Let me explain... On the come up I was just laughing at everything. Then here's where the "darker" tone comes in. I remember at one point in the DPT trip it felt as if I was being possessed over and over again by different malevolent spirits telling me that I need to work on my sub communications towards people, because people can sense through my vocal tonality that there is no empathy there and that I need to have empathy in order for people to feel safe around me. I then just starting laughing like an evil maniac. I think for most normal people this type of thing would scare the shit out of them but honestly I was really enjoying getting possessed over and over again which I am not so sure if that's a good or bad thing lol. That was the the so called evil part of the trip For the so called "good" part of the trip, I had periods of extreme love and compassion in my heart especially towards my dog. I remember near the end of the peak I placed my hands on him and attempted to heal him as he is a rescue dog and has been through a lot. I remember it felt as though I was taking on some of his "negative" karma and I shed a lot of tears as I was trying to heal him. He seemed to feel somewhat better, but I don't know if it's all in my head or just imagination or both. Like Leo says imagination is reality. All in all that was my first real trip at a dose that high and I feel as though I barely just scratched the surface. The experience was over really fast. It felt as if I didn't even have enough time to catch my breath before it was over. It was like I ascended up to a super high state of consciousness really quickly and then came down just as fast. I'm definitely going to have to experiment more and explore this substance.
  3. You may be right. I think I am attached to the feeling.
  4. Let me rephrase that. I am not doing nothing. I AM nothing.
  5. True. I would be homeless though, but I guess that's no excuse to not continue meditating
  6. I never said it was my parents fault. I am lucky that they have supported me, but they don't agree with all the meditation that I am doing. They think I need a job more than I need meditation.
  7. I won't be able too for long. My parents said that if I don't start doing something they are going to kick me out. I guess they aren't content with me doing nothing lol
  8. I'm at this weird dichotomy. I am 21 years old right now and have spent the last 3 years of my life basically going full hermit mode and meditating. Needless to say I became a bit more conscious over the last couple of years. Although I am very grateful for all the consciousness work I have done. I am basically at ground zero with all my lower base needs. I still live with my parents and don't have a good job. I don't even want a job really. I just want to meditate. It is weird because I feel like I have almost no desire for any of the lower base needs or for anything for that matter. My mind is just blank. Almost like I have a mind of a rock. My mind is pretty much constantly in no-mind, so I am not even thinking about wanting a job and then my parents tell me I need to job. Then I forget that I need a job because my mind has been trained to be completely silent lol. It is very hard to motivate myself, when my mind isn't desiring anything. Basically if I am being REALLY honest with myself, I just don't want to exist at all. I want to be nothing. A complete void. A complete blank. I don't want to think or do anything at all. I don't want to be alive, not because I am depressed and hate life, simply because it feels right. I want to be dead. I just want to be empty 24/7.
  9. @herghly Basically I'm wondering if I need to do ujjayi breathing while bringing the energy up to the head during maha mudra.
  10. Does anyone know if you need to do the throat restrictions while doing maha mudra? Or do you just breathe normally when you bring the energy up the spine?
  11. Yeah, that is very true. Thanks. I still wonder if there is some way I could subtly plant seeds in their mind and through that they might come to the conclusion that they do in-fact want to change, but it would be their own decision. I just planted the seeds.
  12. What are some ways I could build a bridge to help stage blue people evolve into orange? All of my family is heavily blue and I was wondering if there is anything I can do to help them. Or is it best to just leave them be and not even get involved?
  13. And why is death such a bad thing?
  14. After you're done with your routine, do you just sit in concentration at the crown chakra? Or do you just let go and be? Like in the do nothing technique.