Israfil

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About Israfil

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    Brazil
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    Male

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  1. This thumb is so manipulative it disgusts me.
  2. Nervousness and anxiousness usually lead to unconscious behavior and that tends to lower the average of emotionally mature responses you get from someone. Mentally unstable people are usually emotionally unstable too.
  3. Firstly, I would struggle to see any of the replies directed at you as a personal attack—advice or recommendation at best. And you even dismissed actual arguments as personal attacks. Secondly, the "intellectual discussion" you are trying to have is based solely on your biases. Socialization shouldn't adhere to idealistic rules you are stating they should follow, but it is a process that happens materially and can only be properly understood in practice. That's why anthropologists observe as people live, record their habits and rules, and report back. As long as you keep refraining from genuinely engaging with people, you will keep repeating this pattern of trying to describe the behavior of people, or worse, trying to prescribe how people should behave based on an ideal created over internet content. There's nothing "intellectual" about your arguments. You're simply using sophistry to justify your social inadequacy. That might be a good defense mechanism but is not exactly intellectual work. Thirdly, be open to the possibility that people on a self-development forum are interested in helping you develop yourself. Your defensiveness is only detrimental to both your social and intellectual development. Your refusal to engage with comments that challenge more deeply your convictions might be holding you back in the endeavor of constructing a more coherent worldview. May you find peace, man.
  4. Stress is one of the greatest stimulants that are available to us endogenously. If you're depressed, you might unconsciously seek stress as a way to self-regulate. My caffeine abuse in my late teens was exactly this.
  5. If done playfully, without excess, you can get more attention. But I'd say 9/10 people that would ask that question just would come out as weird or condescending. I'd advise you to not try this.
  6. I wouldn't rewrite your entire post just to make a point about it. My point still stands. Nothing in the particular behaviors you described is necessarily masculine.
  7. What I meant is that the characteristics you mentioned - authenticity (1), a realistic approach to dealing with the world (2) and not having a victim mentality (3) - are not necessarily "male characteristics". Also, "action" and "reaction" are labels you can arbitrarily place in behaviors. Every "action" can be reframed into a "reaction" if you argue differently.
  8. I read all this, but I've met very feminine women doing those things. This doesn't seem like necessarily masculine.
  9. "Wrong view of whats a man" is supposed to mean what, exactly?
  10. This one is related to arousal. Higher heartbeat rate due to nervousness or sexual arousal. It "tricks" the brain into thinking that the girl is into you.
  11. In Europe? Maybe. Many people get grossed out by armpit hair or even pubic hair. I do agree. But porn is a hiperstimulus. Seeing a pair of breasts is not.
  12. I'd say those "tribal" people are much less sexualized than we are. The sexual act is way more respected than in most modern western societies. The bias of confusing technical material progress with development is one I see too frequently here. Also, the argument that the normalization of nudity decreases the arousal of observing a breast only proves my point. The social dimension of clothing norms, in this case, nearly nullifies completely the natural arousal of seeing a breast. Many other bodily changes that also indicate sexual maturity, such as the development of body hair is seen as neutral or even unattractive to most people. Attraction is a matter far deeper than "see big boob, get big dick".
  13. There's nothing inherently sexual about tits, man. Indigenous tribes of the Americas don't walk with shirts and males from those tribes are not constantly walking around with boners.
  14. If you read what I wrote you wouldn't have to ask me this. Plenty of cultures emphasize legs or the mouth over breasts, for instance. Socialization is not separated from biology. It is the "software" that is placed on top of the biological "hardware" to run the "human system". The fact that we feel attracted to each other is biological. What is erotic can be skewed to serve social purposes. Take foot binding or neck stretching. We were socialized to find these practices unattractive. Those people were socialized to find them attractive. So to answer your question, I was raised seeing big asses and tits in music videos and porn was pervasive on the entirety of the internet. This lead me to connect those physical features with what is attractive or not. In my adulthood, where I actually explored my sexuality, I find that what I authentically experience as attractive is not as simplistic as an "hourglass body, symmetrical I've met models and women with "the perfect body", that were beautiful, but not attractive to me. That's why I said you were being reductionist.
  15. This is fine as long as you perceive it as your personal view on attraction, based on a series of social narratives you've been fed throughout your development. If you generalize this, although many people do share this perception of male attraction, you fall into the trap of reducing the very complex social, biological, psychological and spiritual phenomenon that is attraction to a series of material indicators that, for the most part, are the least important ones when evaluating it.