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About deamordeamar

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  • Birthday 11/12/1997

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  1. @PurpleTree Thank you for the encouragement!
  2. @OBEler @PurpleTree I have no excuses. It was my mistake due to my foolishness and lack of patience to study more about this substance. Only yesterday, I realized what I had done. In the YouTube video I watched, it said 150mg, and I understood 1.5g. Effectively, I confused the measurement.
  3. @Razard86 @Vincent S @Breakingthewall @Verg0 This discussion has helped me enormously! I took MDMA cristals for the first time in my life 5 days ago (1g) and 4 days ago (1.5g), and it's incredible that you @Verg0 wrote about it because I'm currently in the biggest crisis of my life. The first time I took it was blissful. The second time was good in the beginning, but then it got pretty worse for several hours (Physically, I felt like I had no breath. I had to drink some water every 1 minute for an hour maybe. I had to keep my jaw with my hands because I felt that the lower one would go away, and my brain felt very hot. Oh, I know it was foolish what I've done. It doesn’ even matter how the trip was from other points of view. But I’m currently learning some powerful leassons as @Razard86 said.) Now I feel my brain and heart are terribly ill. My main concern is to not damage something permanently about my physical health. You won't believe how much this discussion means to me. It gives me a lot of hope. I didn't know that the effects could last so many days. I'm not near my baseline. Last night I experienced something very strange. Nearly 10 times I slept and then woke up and had very powerful and vivid dreams, which I could almost control pretty well. I have never dreamt that way. Has anyone else experienced something similar and fully recovered? It's like a current goes through my brain from time to time, and I have some kind of pulsation and tension in my brain. In the dark, I still don't see clearly, and I feel the need to take deep breaths regularly. But I’m starting to feel better every day. Thank you! I hope you are doing well.
  4. Leo, regarding your last quote on the blog, I want to face the truth as much as I can, even if, for now, it's just theoretical. I can't do more than that right now for survival purposes, but I'm strategically directing my life towards a place where I could go all in. I imagine you saying that quote, right? And the quote is true, but not from your perspective because you exist only in my imagination. It is true from my perspective. I am imagining myself as this finite self, and I'm imagining that this self is thinking about you, reading your blog, etc. Is it correct that if I were awake I would say: "I am so conscious that I understand that Leo, saying that his mother is imaginary, is just imaginary. And also my finite self is just imaginary"? Do you literally not exist outside of everything that I think about you?
  5. What does it mean to be highly conscious? I want to gain a deeper understanding of the distinction between unconscious people and conscious people. In my opinion, the more you understand what life is and how it works, the more conscious you are. Is that correct?
  6. Thank you!
  7. Hi everyone! I’ve found it beneficial for me to make a list of all Leo’s videos from his main YouTube channel by title and duration of every video. I’m sharing it with you below if you’re interested. Writing it all down was surprisingly unbelievable for me due to the vast amount of videos, consistency, diversity of subjects, and non-repetition of topics. Even though I scrolled through his YouTube channel many times, I didn’t fully realize how much work he had put in there. So, once again, thank you, Leo! actualized.docx
  8. Happy birthday!!! 🥰
  9. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 ❤️❤️❤️
  10. Happy birthday, Leo! I love life because of you. I no longer give nihilism a negative meaning because of you. I have peace and hope due to your work. I respect and love you like no other human. Thank you with all my heart! ❤️??