Asayake

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Everything posted by Asayake

  1. You think that, but what if you meet one girl that you really get to know. She becomes your best friend and you connect with each other deeply. The sex becomes mind-blowing, 10x better than with a random hot girl. Will you still be out there trying to hook up with random hot girls? My guess is you will not even be thinking about that at that point. Your sex drive will be satisfied as long as your relationship is healthy then, isn't it?
  2. I too am rather sensitive and I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm pretty much the only one I know that's into spirituality. If you weren't sensitive chances are you wouldn't be on this forum or into spirituality at all for that matter, missing out on a lot of what's truly possible in life. I agree that sensitivity is a gift. Your ability to appreciate and understand music, art, literature , meditation, the subtle things in life is likely enhanced compared to a "normally sensitive" person. The understanding of art etc. is a knowing that is beyond the intellect. It is your body that is resonating with the art and communicating the harmony or dissonance of it to your mind through feelings. I'll offer you a few different perspectives that have helped me. Dissonance/Harmony When you're overwhelmed your body is in dissonance with what's being read/thought. It could be that this dissonance needs to happen in order for you to reach a deeper understanding(a temporary dissonance is often needed in music to move the notes towards harmony, after all, how would you know what harmony is without dissonance?). It could also be that Jed McKennas writings doesn't align with what you feel is true, and that another teaching would suit you better. It could also be that you think you are overwhelmed and triggered but your feelings are actually trying to give you an insight into yourself by showing you a glimpse of what's within. Witness your feelings and thoughts Maybe keep listening to how your body is reacting when you're reading, as you've been doing, and if it becomes overwhelming take a break, observe and see if you can accept your feelings. Acknowledge they're there and see them for what they are by observing the feelings in your body. Observe your thoughts, they might be feeding into the feeling and making it more overwhelming. When you become the observer the feedback loop of thoughts & feelings get cut off and you can see more clearly what your feelings are and what your thoughts are without having your thoughts about how it's overwhelming feed into your feelings. The Pain Body Lastly, a powerful concept you could look into is the pain body, a concept Eckhart Tolle writes about in The Power of Now and A New Earth. The overwhelming feelings and the thoughts about giving up could be viewed through the lens of it being the pain body he writes about. It loosens its power when you accept its presence and accept whatever you're feeling and thinking in the Now. That's how the pain body becomes a transformative force instead of an annoyance. Because when you accept its presence and observe it it begins to heal your past traumas. Because the feelings connects you to the Now which can free you from your past and your thoughts(thoughts don't have to seize, just the power of thoughts is reduced). Even challenging feelings is a window into the Now. Sensitive people from my understanding are more prone to suffer from traumas but also have an easier time healing from them because challenging feelings are more intensive and accessible. And by becoming aware of those feelings and accepting them in the Now you begin to heal(letting go of the past).
  3. I'm going to read this next. I am currently reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and he actually mentions A Course in Miracles in the beginning of the book as one of the spiritual texts that helped him understand his awakenings.
  4. What if your prime age was going to be at 70 years old. What if that was the age where you would enjoy life the most but now you never got to find that out. How you think it's going to be when you get old is not likely how it's actually going to be.
  5. Do you think there's value in thinking about dreams and what they could mean? I have been thinking about that for a while and last night I had a particularly weird/powerful dream. I was at my parents house, was going to help my parents with something, not sure what. It turns out my dad's legs were not working properly. My parents were both lying in bed and not saying much. I got scared and thought we should take him to the hospital. My mom didn't think it was a good idea. My dad said nothing, he was like a vegetable. So I decided he must go, I picked him up and started carrying him outside. Suddenly my mom turned aggressive and it was like she was possessed by something evil. She crawled out of bed and bite onto my hand and kept holding onto my hand and increasing her bite strength. She looked absolutely furious. I had no choice it seemed but to bite her back in her head to make her let go. It took a while but she finally let go. I woke up and had strong shivers down my spine for about 45 seconds. Something about the dream scared me a bit. Does anyone have any idea what this dream could mean?
  6. How interesting. How did you come to this conclusion? Honestly at this point life has surprised me so many times already that I wouldn't be surprised if one of those were true. Also very interesting. Why is that? Thanks for confirming my suspicions.
  7. Lions mane mushrooms water & alcohol extract, after a few weeks seems to have started helping me open up to others a bit more. This has in turn created more honesty between e.g. me and my parents which gives me more emotional stability, which gives me some increased confidence. I also started putting myself more in social situations because of the effects of Lions Mane, it sparked an increased interest in others. Working out is another thing that gives me confidence, because when I'm at the gym I can feel that I am doing something that will improve on some aspect of myself. When I'm in the gym I feel confident because I know I'm doing something worthwhile basically. I can then look myself in eyes more easily, knowing I did what I could to improve myself, at the very least physically. Post workout I feel probably most confident in the entire day. It's just the knowing that I did go to the gym for myself which carries me. And the fact that when you're done with your workout you know the rest of the day will feel easier in comparison to the workout where you have to tough it out a bit. Another way to think of it is create suffering in a productive manner such as doing something which is challenging like reading, meditating, yoga, working out, working towards some important goal in your life, practice an instrument, write a poem, write a book. And carry that suffering like Jesus carried the cross. In a sense we need to take on suffering to transcend it.
  8. Whatever perspective you're viewing life through right now is temporary. I once was stuck in a nihilistic point of view which plagued me terribly but suddenly I just popped out of it and realized it's just one perspective out of many and you don't have to settle in your view of the world. I hope the best for you my friend. It might not seem like it's helpful now but just know many others go through very hard times but even hard times pass on to something else, eventually. Whatever you're going through right now, you can already handle it, it's just your mind telling you that you can not. Because you just handled it the previous moment, and the one before that too. You can handle the next moment too. Make sure to cover your basics if you haven't, sometimes we forget. Drink water, get sleep, eat food. The basics keeps us going and time to process things. Time will make you see things differently.
  9. If that's true and being sober is just getting high on your natural supply of drugs as Wildcattt555 put it, then isn't this thread just the defense of being addicted to being sober and seeing external drugs as problematic because they don't bring the state of mind or life you've come to prefer? People who are drug addicts find life on the drugs better, people who go sober find sober life better. Is it not that we all make up a narrative to justify why our subjective taste is the best?
  10. I have a very similar problem when it comes to dating. Most girls don't look at me sexually, but as someone "cute". How I've gone about this is that I started strength training to increase my masculine energy. Also I figured maybe if I have a more muscular frame others will percieve me differently and it will make me act more like I am percieved. Today when the online dating competition is so high it really seems to me we as men gotta "max out our stats" to compete. Your situation here is uncannily similar to what happened to me 1 year ago. I was feeling on top of the world, had great confidence. Matched with a girl who was hot, she wrote me first which rarely happens to me, it took me by surprise. We went on a date and both had a good time, joking and laughing. But I could tell at the same time she was not into me sexually. Deep down I knew but I really liked her and I really was hoping it could go somewhere. After the date was over she turned me down. I was surprised and sad because it was a fun date and we had a lot in common but deep down I could see it coming. That very evening I tripped on shrooms. The next day I started working out rigourously. I kept it up for about 1 month but I overtrained, got sick and fell off the training. This year I'm back with a fury. It's time to become a man.
  11. That's not so obvious to me at all. I think that's exactly the point, to make it seem like he's out in the streets. Propaganda or war tactic, call it what you want. It doesn't matter that some people like yourself see through it, the point is that the majority of people who see it will think he's out on the streets.
  12. It probably will get you more toxins in your body. At the same time, all foods don't contain a lot of the worst ones. And many foods today are not as nutritious as they once were. So maybe eating more is also a good thing because you will get more micronutrients. Other than that your health could suffer if you're too low weight because it will mess up your hormone levels which will be taxing on your body, increased levels of cortisol and reduced test levels. So eating more food to gain weight should not be a problem in my opinion. If you're eating healthy foods the pros of getting your energy levels & hormone levels in good states as well as the fact that you're going to be getting more vitamins, minerals and fiber makes it seem to me like eating more healthy foods has a lot of pros, up to a certain point.
  13. I'm currently working out and researching it quite a bit and to me so far it seems like the best way is doing both high reps and low reps. Some days I do higher reps (12-20) with lower weight and focus on mind muscle connection. And other days I do lower reps (3-8) with heavier weight and also focus on mind muscle connection, but it's more difficult with heavier weight to me because just doing the movement itself requires more focus when you're using heavier weight. The reason a combination of low rep days and high rep days seems the best to me is that high reps will build more size on your muscle because it requires the muscles "fuel tank" to grow more if you will, which is what causes a substantial increase in muscle size. The low reps sessions increase your strength more, which is your muscles ability to create tension. An increase in strength will also improve your ability to maintain good muscle mind connection at heavier and heavier weights, the stronger you become so you can keep increasing your weight on your high rep sessions. So why train only for strength if you want chest size, throw in some high rep bench press. 3 sets 15 reps at low weight and then keep adding weight gradually each session and try to keep hitting 15 reps for 3 sets. If you can't hit 15 reps of your new weight, lower the weight for the last set and rep to 1-2 reps from failure. This drop set will keep your reps high for the high rep session even if you couldn't quite make high reps with your new weight to make sure you train the muscles endurance, fuel tank properly. Then the workout session following that you could go for lower reps, 5 or 6 reps for 3 sets and with a heavier weight than you're using at your high rep sessions. Another tip I would say is make sure to hit your chest atleast 2 times per week. 2 times per week seems to easiest to maintain for me personally. Some people prefer 3 times per week and I think that can give a bit faster results but it's a bit trickier with the recovery and time management. Calisthenics is really useful because if you hit the gym with a whole body routine 2 days a week it's good to add some variation to the exercises you do, maybe by hitting some high rep sets of pushups on a day in between your usual workout days to add extra chest workout volume. You don't really need to do 10 different chest exercises for your chest to grow, just make sure to progress both at low reps and high reps in the movement. Make sure to eat enough whole foods and protein. My friend has a 140 kilo bench press and he has a great chest and overall physique. He used to do 5x5 and other powerlifting style programs before but nowadays he incorporates more high reps and has been reaping the benefits. I might be mistaken but my impression is that high reps is really undervalued. Same goes for isometrics but that's another story. As mentioned earlier in the thread reddeltaproject is a very good Youtube channel.
  14. Have you tried any form of yoga? I read above that you think you are a low energy person. Kriya yoga, hatha yoga, shambhavi mudra, tried any of these? I think these practices can help you open up more to others and give you more energy. When you have more energy than you need you might become more outgoing and take initiative more often. What if you start hosting events with your friends/host a party? People will start to perceive you as more outgoing and extroverted if you take initiative in a group. Going to the gym or doing other energetic activities where you're around other people could help you get accustomed to having more energy around people.
  15. Maybe you would not even be on this forum if you weren't an introvert. As you said it yourself, you have a natural curiosity and think about things deeply. My guess is that the majority of people on this forum are introverts or atleast not dominant in extroversion. Your introversion maybe won't give you all the pros of being an introvert for free, if you're working as a salesman it's probably mostly a disadvantage. But you can turn it into an advantage. Instead of viewing it like your introspection is a problem that doesn't come with any pros, what if you view it like I am an introvert, how do I adapt my life to make the most use of that fact. See most people won't actively try to adapt their life in ways to benefit from their psychology. There are many ways to benefit. You probably have an easier time pursuing meditation and self inquiry than most extroverted people have. You are also missing out on a lot of problems that comes with being an extrovert, maybe you're less prone to feeling lonely when you're spending time alone. Of course, you're not limited to being strictly an introvert. What you do will change your psychology. If you really wish you had some more extroverted traits you could go out and be more socially active and your psychology will adapt and more extroverted traits will be brought out. For example if you're an introvert but want to become a standup comedian either you could play with your introverted traits in your standup comedy routine, or you could try to challenge yourself to become more extroverted and take on an extroverted alter ego during your standup act and then being more introverted during your spare time. Whatever you do there is a way of doing it like an introvert and a way of doing it like an extrovert and both are available to you, it's just one is going to come more naturally so being an introvert is a good thing if you realize that and take advantage of it when you can. No it's not necessarily true because it's in the book, you are right. But the book makes a strong case for why that would likely be the case. Sometimes it's good to listen to someone who has spent a great deal of her life investigating the matter(in this case Susan Cain). She backs her claims up with studies in the book. Buddha and Steve Wozniak are just two examples of people doing their thing alone with great success. Another example is The Beatles, the band played together and recorded together but when it came to songwriting John, Paul, George, Ringo, everyone of them wrote the music alone. Lennon & McCartney split the credit of many songs but they actually went off alone to write and did not write together. Literally think of any inventor in history and most of the time the invention will have been done solo. Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Schubert, Chopin, Liszt. They all wrote alone because becoming a great musician takes years of venturing off on your own in exploration.
  16. According to the book Quiet introverts are better at inventing things and better at making great art. Apparently most profound inventions are done solo. Buddha leaving his family to go off alone, Steve Wozniak inventing the PC on his own in his garage etc etc. If you're an introvert you're more likely to spend time alone which is where you can get really deep.
  17. It sucks sometimes man, stay strong. At end of last year I became concious of dreadful meaninglessness of existance after being awake for 48+ hours. But what I realized after a couple of nights proper sleep and just focusing on the basics, food, water, sleep, some short meditation sessions was that meaninglessness is not actually final. It seems that way when you're concious of it but all experiences I had up until that point had passed into something else. And so this feeling eventually passed as well. I snapped out of it and realized meaninglessness is just another stance, perspective that is pointless to settle on in the long run but certainly can be insightful to experience for a shorter period of time. It is settling for the perspective of meaninglessness that made conciousness appear absolutely meaninglessness. You're stressing yourself up a bit over the situation which is why you can't sleep. If you drink some water, take a shower, maybe some light yoga or weed if you're into that to help you relax a bit. Listen to some music you like. You don't always need to think so much about existential things. Contemplating can be insightful but letting yourself be "distracted" by music, a movie you like or by eating some snack you like can help you rest and let you shift perspective. It's easy to get stuck in one perspective. God? Yes, but how about watching a cute pig video "by the fire" with your girlfriend. Or cuddling up with a few pillows and eating some cookies. Meaningless? Until suddenly it isn't! You're reminding me of when I was tripping on 3g of shrooms and I had this terribly strong urge to get rid of my experience so I was frantically googling and trying to think my way out of the experience. But suddenly the experience let go by itself and things were back to normal but having had the tough experience makes you wiser, better off in the end. Even if it can feel like the experience is permanent. Because even if it is, your perspective on it will change with time. Mistakenly quoted this and can't manage to unquote it lol.
  18. Laughed my ass off at this video.. what was I watching lol
  19. "It's all me. I'm all alone." Is this not just another story you're telling yourself? If you tell yourself there are others, it seems as if there are. If you tell yourself it's all you, that's all there is. They are 2 different stories painted on the exact same canvas. Pick the one which feels right mate. Edit: Wanted to add, make sure you have adequate food, water and regular sleep. When I don't have those I can slip into uncomfortable perspectives and not be aware that there's a different way of looking at things..
  20. What super powers are you developing? Is it via meditation?
  21. My mother had a shoulder impingement that bothered her a lot during her sleep. Things like pulling your shoulder blades down & back and lightly lifting your chest on a regular basis, especially when carrying things seemed to help her recover faster. Before she was doing this the pain persisted for many weeks. When she started actively becoming conscious of her upper back posture like this the problem was gone after about a week. So if it's impingement you could try that. If that doesn't hurt/make it worse you could try it anyways because it helps open the shoulders which takes strain of them in general. It's the same posture one would use for a farmers walk pretty much. You can also engage your core muscles and glutes and tuck your tailbone downwards to create a neutral hip position to give your lower back more stability. Stability seems to be built from down up. These are the tips I would give you. I am just figuring things like this out myself too though so take it with a grain of salt. I have kyphosis and scoliosis myself so I've had to research a lot regarding posture, stretches, yoga, strength training to help with my back issues.
  22. Woah that illusion analogy is sick! Much appreciated.
  23. I can't seem to stop thinking that it's a good idea to make those whom I love try psychedelics. After all psychedelics was how I first got into this journey I'm currently on with meditation, practicing work, working out, eating healthy, yoga, reading, self improvement, trying to make the best of every situation, no matter what hand I'm dealt, trying to bring acceptance and love to those around me. And I'm loving it every day, even my worse days, I can stand now. I wish everyone would be able to experience this inner transformation phenomena. The perceptions, visions, sound alterations, thoughts etc during the trip itself is magic, completely unexplainable and amazing . But the direction life can take a couple of years later as a long term consequence of the inner change that sets into action during the trip. There is not a word for the thankfulness which I feel for that. But how would I be without it? My life was heading downhill fast. My mental condition was not good, not good at all. I can picture myself working at McDonalds 45 years old, alone, fat, porn addicted, taking hard drugs, playing league of legends 24/7 for 10s of thousands of hours yet still being the lowest rank, telling kids on there they should kill themselves for playing poorly. Dying early from heart attack due to horrible progressed kyphosis and bad food and training habits. OR just from sheer anxiety itself. This is a highly likely scenario from my point of view. Oh what my life would be without my curiosity and open-mindedness toward psychedelics. But if I couldn't make it without psychedelics(atleast according to how I think about the matter), how could most of my friends and my family ever make it? Some of them are doing fine and have things going for them despite the fact. But I can tell most of them are just depressed to a crippling degree and they're not even conscious of it themselves. It is a horrifying thing to bear witness to. The endless self imposed suffering, they don't have the belief systems, open mindedness, they don't have what it takes to stick to meditation for months on end or stop themselves from eating McDonalds daily and start working out. And neither had I before psychedelics. So what if I could make them think it's a good idea to swallow a piece of blotter once, in an educated manner? How would I convince them it's a good idea, is it even a good idea making my friends and perhaps even parents and siblings try psychedelics?
  24. My first mushroom trip alone was something similar. Really took me by surprise how hard it hit me as i had done acid multiple times before then with no issues. On my shroom trip I remember having visions of the execution of Saddam Hussein and visions of me falling out of my window. Thinking that I had lost my mind. Spending a good amount of time panicking, trying to google how to get out of the trip. Because I thought that was a rational thing to do somehow. I was also very confused and dizzy, it was as if I had been kicked in the face and was grasping to remember how I got where I am. Felt crazy when I sobered up, suddenly I was 100% sober with 0 trip going on and everything felt crystal clear. WOW... that hit me by surprise. Now a year later I am feeling better than I ever have in my life though.. so maybe that did something good after all, who knows.. For now I'm sticking to meditation & acid though.. but if I return to the shroom I hope she'll be gentler to me the next time around..