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About Ilan

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  1. I called all my ex girl friend fat in a playful and loving way. It seems it was healing them and pushing them to go meta about it(in my experience) but maybe I’m just a devil
  2. @Leo Gura what would happen if someone was 1 for the primary and 5 for the secondary ?
  3. here is a really good map for those of you who want to love more
  4. more than to want to warn the danger of psychedelics, I want to warn the danger of psych ward and forced treatements. Psychedelics made me just improve so much that it became violent, but if I had take a long rest rather to go in a psych ward, I would have ground myself again and life would have go on on another lvl. I think the greatest danger with psychedelics is not bad trip, it is not hell trip, it is not even drug induced psychosis, I had all of those and I know for a fact that all of this go away after a certain rest of not taking psychedelics again, moreover it allow an even more sain body mind that the one you had before psychedelics to take place after the "drug induced vulnerability" go away. I was just a lobster going for the next shell eating by a shark during the transition. Psychedelics are good violence pain, the pain that makes you more sain, more alive, more conscious(for me it made me even more conscious on a daily bases after a while). It is unbelievable, It really is true medicine, True healing of the body, It worked more than a strict green juice diet to heal my physical body on the long term. That is forced treatements which ruined my whole body mind. I know I have a lot of victim mentality here and I know that in the end, it was all on me. I should have been more cautious, more conscious of the high corruption within psych ward. And I told it as if I went compltetely mad but really it was not the case, really what I was doing was sharing raw love with the world. If you want the full story, I tryed to tell it the least biased possible way(it's hard when you're filled with hate) on my journal. I mean in the end I know eventhough I'm not conscious right now of this that I had full responsibility over my life and that I brought myself here. no one to blame but me. But you're right, it's turning to much around me. Let's stop this.
  5. My claim is that I was this before being forced into psych ward I would ask you to be openminded. I know you are not this kind of spiritual seeker at all. But basically, I naturally nurtured it my whole life. But basically, I discover you at 22. In took it to another level. Started psychedelics at 23. Which has made it uncontrollably violent and increase order of magnitude I would not even feel possible. I totally lost control this year and ended up in psychiatric hospital. I was doing this very violently and irresponsibly. If you want more info on me, go on my journal. This can be dangerous. I’m in hell right now because of this and lost my power that I nurtured my whole life. You can’t imagine the frustration and the pain I’m going through right now. I hope it serves as prevention for some future people. I hope my life failure serves well the infinite Goodness. I can’t stop regretting and telling myself what I could have done more for the world if the psych ward did not get me.
  6. Keep in mind that it is absolute love no matter what you do. It sound like your ego wants to « impact massively the world »
  7. I would like to address a point here. Often time, we associate consciousness with ego death. But I believe them to be dissociated. One can have enormous level of consciousness with big ego(generally lead to madness) and another one can have low level of consciousness with little ego.
  8. @Windappreciator to me you’re the closest one to the truth. If people really deeply interested themselves in how antipsychotic came in into the world. They would realize the enormous devilry behind this.
  9. Yeah I know they are attracted to leadership but I also think it is hard for you ladies to admit to yourselves how much pure « status » matters but if you introspected deeply and honestly, maybe you’d realize it.. (I might be wrong)
  10. Fuck. Once again, Leo is right and he just made me realize the source of my main neurosis, why I was so happy obsessed with status knowing deep down it is bullshits my whole life