sleep

Something doesnt have to be true for you to say it, sometimes its ok to have fun with words if thats your thing, if its not then thats ok.

Theres a chance you wont have any negative consequences, but theres a chance you will. Obviously the risk is always there, but for you its big enough I wouldnt do it personally.

@Basman that might be the case. Yeah, I dont hate people, I actually desire for most people if not everybody to attain happiness. I guess the problem lies more with the expression of love.

@Hojo more than hating id say i simply feel an aversion towards love. Its not like i hate people, i just dont feel like i love them. If my mom hugs me for example, all I think about is how i want her to stop hugging me. I also cant return words of affection genuinely or stuff like that. Thanks for the advice guys btw. Seems like an important part of empathy is being able to understand people's situations and understanding i might act the same way they do if i were in their shoes, which seems also like a first step towards love.

Ive been reading santata's books and started doing the kriya pranayama focusing on the crown as per the instructions in his second book on kriya, but he mentions that you should so it after being experienced with doing the kriya pranayama in the third eye. I do the crown one because I feel like I get more of an effect from that one, but is it dangerous or something? I know nothing about chakras, but is the crown chakra somehow more dangerous to mess with than the third eye one or something?

Ive always had this desire on the back of my mind to be more loving. I dont know if its because of my upbringing or what, but Ive never been good at receiving or demonstrating affection, in fact im kind of repulsed by it, especially physical touch. Im also not very empathic, even though I would like to be. Im troubled by this because in my opinion love should be genuine or it is no good. Yet I barely feel love for others or myself.

Funny. Im in my early 20's, and I wish I were younger with the knowledge I have now too.

@Salvijus Inspiring, thanks.

@Yimpa The video is blocked in my country

Im a pretty heavy user of drugs, the main ones being alcohol, weed and cigarettes. I think the main one is cigarettes, though. There is just something so soothing about the act of smoking for me. Guess im stuck in the oral phase. Ive tried leaving cigarettes many time and have succeeded for a few weeks a couple of times, but I always end up coming back to it. If I dont control myself I end up smoking a pack a day. Its gotten to the point where I have trouble breathing and my body hurts. Rn im using an app called "I am sober" which is supposed to help leave addictions, and it helps somewhat, but I cant seem to quit completely. I thinkt he reason is that I dont have many things I enjoy and smoking is one of the few ones I like. Im not even sure I want to quit, even though I know its the rational thing to do and im starting to suffer the consequences. Anyone here has had any luck with addictions? Any tips you could offer are much appreciated.

Thanks for all your answers guys. To reply to a few points, yeah, I guess I dislike the character Ive built, but I also recognize that the conventional self doesnt really exist. Thats helped me a lot to get through my negative self talk, which used to be a major issue for many years but isnt so much anymore. I liked the point razar made about being my own friend, I will try to be.

How do I stop hating myself

@CoolDreamThanks judt out of curiosity, what kind of spiritual practice do you do?

Im thinking of pursuing the formless jhanas, though I dlmt know if its really worthwhile or if its just another distraction. Anyone here who has experience with them, any insights would be appreciated

Id say research the effect your specific ssri has on psychedelics and if there is any risk. Personally when I drop acid I stop taking mine for 2 days https://thesignsoflife.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Antidepressants-and-Psychedelics-DDIChart-V2.pdf there is this pdf, not sure how trustowrthy it is but its something.