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About pdude

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  • Birthday 09/17/1999

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  1. @Serotoninluv You are right. I depend on her in some degree. She's my only close relative and I want to see her as companion in my path.
  2. @Moreira Maybe it is about your expectations. I too sometimes had naive expectations about something and sad when real life don't match them. Choose another restaraunt and library for example. You may try many techniques about get rid of frustration but remember that you don't have to frustrate about your frustration and beat yourself up.
  3. I know what you mean. I doubt that she will talk openly with therapist. She have complexes about many things and love to lie to others to get what she want. And there is option one too. You write objectively good options to take. Thanks for reply.
  4. Incredible. I don't know that even a books on such matter exist. Thanks
  5. Hello everyone. I'm need a some advice from people which maybe have more experience in this matter and in life at all. At first, about myself. I am 19 years old and like many young people learnt about self-actualization from one of Leo's videos. It was about meditation. Just some day I feel like I want to start meditate and find this no-bullshit guide Of course I become interested in other videos and find it very helpful for me. Very helpful because it works. But my post not about it, but about my mother. I live with my mother almost all my life and have a relationship with her quite different from most of families.She divorce with my father when I was 2-3 years old, because he drunk very much and beat her up. She was always like a child even when I was born; go partying, drink alcohol; don't care about how to make living, don't even really work. Her grandfather, my grandgrandfather spoil her, I think. When child, she had no need to care about anything. Then he passed away when I was 8 and I and my mother left without money, only old house with yard. Thus my school years I suffer that is to say, poverty (I don't even say about subsequences of it). We live on because of some relatives helping us. My mother didn't work at that time, have part-time job sometimes, even then she whine how she hate it. After school I find my first normal job at 17 and from that time we start living better. Make some renovations in house and so on. For example, in my childhood we living a shitty lifestyle, shitty diet. I change this. And because of that that I manage money my mom too not eat junk food anymore. I like it, I feel better, and this is economic. But she don't like it. Roles in my family change somehow. I feel myself like parent of some mentally handicapped child. Last few years she suddenly grow old, become more stupid, neurotic and watch tv and internet most of time. She treat me like some weirdo because of my healthy lifestyle, meditations and yoga. She whine that I don't love her. When I said her that I from now will not eat white bread, she says something like "It's because of that fucking bald guy you watching?"(about Leo I presume). Today I had a very good party that my company organize for coworkers. When I come home she says that I go to party and don't give a shit about her. I know she envy and angry. But I don't know what to do about it. You say that all about she sit at home and degrading slowly. I proposed her some courses, she refused; work in company that I work myself, refused. She do not want to leave home, do something even at home. She does cook and cleaning but in a very painful manner. I see that she fall apart somehow, like sand castle. She's 46, but emotionaly like 60. Complain about headaches too. Before diet change she has complained about stomach aches, but now, after stopping eat junk it alright. I think she have some disease and propose her to check in hospital, she refused. But I love her though. I have good memories with her too. It's very painful to see something like that.