kindayellow

I feel like this is and has been my biggest issue for a while. Outside of exercise… what on should I do with my time? I spent way too much time connected to my phone and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve made some good progress in my career, I’m learning to socialise a bit more like going out to meet women and such but, I feel like i do some good things like enjoy my music, exercise, self reflection/contemplation when I go out to walk my dog but I feel there’s so much wasted time still. What do people who don’t use their phones so much do all day? I need some ideas

@flowboy @flowboy sorry I suck at formatting I didn't mean to quote but thank you for your kind words. I think when the time is right I can tell her!

I'll keep this as short as I can but earlier in the year, my neighbour and her family invited me round to their house, and that night was really transformative for me. It made me realise how empty I felt inside because I haven't been living recently, not happy etc. It occurred to me today that my neighbour, who used to work as a social worker and used to study psychology, may of done that because she recognized that I needed that. I'd like to ask her if that's the case and thank her for making a significant difference in my life. I'm curious as to whether she actually meant to do that or not. Do you think it would be worth telling her she's helped me and ask if she intended to do so?

Hi all, I'm not here to ask for help off anyone regarding this, this is just a beautiful new thing I'm experiencing what feels like for the first time that I'd like to share with anyone who's interested in reading. So for two years, a chapter ended in my life. I left school, left my toxic friend group, left my toxic romantic relationship with no concrete plans for anything. For those two years I spent a lot of time with myself learning personal development theory and just self reflecting a lot about who I am. After a year I got employed with my first proper job, I soon grew to not enjoy being a wage slave funnily enough. But every weekend, I'd do nothing pretty much. I had this idea in my head for a long time that this would be good for me in the long run and that it was healthy for me to be so concerned about me and only me, invest no time in others, I remember rejecting the idea of having friends at one point. I thought I was making myself happy. Up until recently. My next door neighbours are a family of 4, two kids that are 8 and 10 (I'm 20) and their parents are 38. They'd moved in around 2 years ago from now and my dog recently started going over the wall separating our gardens to go and play with them. Since lockdown I'd started to talk to my neighbours more and more and it's grown into this beautiful relationship where I go round to their house and we watch films, play board games, go for walks together with my dog. The day after the first time I actually spent and evening with them I felt really depressed, I then realised at that point that after all this time I've spent trying to invest in myself and be healthy in mind that it's been totally out of balance and that you need positive relationships and people you care about that care about you to achieve a certain level of fulfillment in life. It was way way way out of balance and it definitely didn't make me happy, I felt completely worthless and felt like life wasn't worth living.

Hey this is just an update for anyone reading I'm feeling a lot better right now, and not that I've arrived at some absolute truth, but I think I've found some type of truth. I felt low because I felt useless to the world, which tells me I'd like to be of use to the world. And as I said I spent all this time on personal development, and it's only ever involved me, and without having any type of social life, over time my self esteem has gone way down and I hadn't really realised. I understand there's other ways to think about this but right now what I want to be doing is fulfilling the desire I have to add value to other people's lives so that's what I've been focusing on this week. I just have the desire to be useful to others and I may find that's not the whole truth and there's a deeper truth which I'm open to.

I just feel like my life is so hollow. And I've been living this life where I've isolated myself from others and been trying to grow as a person but right now I've just hit this low point. The job I'm in is pointless, all the job opportunities around me don't speak to me, I have no friends, don't feel like anyone truly cares about me, I just feel like I exist and I have no plans on how to build a life for myself, I know that all this means I have lots of room for improvement, real improvement, but I don't know how to make any real improvement in a way that will help me and right now I just don't want to do anything other than escape this mindset, but I also don't want to continue distracting myself with social media for dopamine, id appreciate any of your guys' wisdom, there's lots on this website I know that much

I second this, although I do feel like Leo has already seen this before and probably doesn't want to do it. I personally like Joe and Leo even though I think they're very different people, plus it would expand Leo's audience for sure

Something I read that I really connected with was this when it comes to the use of the word interesting in your title for this post "I really like talking to people. Everybody I talked to for this was pretty interesting. Don't let people make you feel like you're not interesting -- that's something I learned from this, everybody is interesting." Interesting people are everywhere, it's just that some people are much more openly willing to share things that are interesting about them, that's the only difficulty with finding interesting people, it's not that they don't exist it's just that sometimes we can find it hard to find people willing to be open

Thank you for all the replies everyone I appreciate your time and wisdom:)

Hello I've just turned 20, and I feel like in the future, I'd like to train to become a life coach, I find enjoyment in helping people. The only "problem" I guess is that I don't feel ready to do that until I have more personal growth, including life experience. Am I right in thinking I'm probably not ready for it yet? The other problem I have is, whilst waiting for my maturing happen, will I just have to be a wage slave for a few years? I currently dislike the job I'm in now and want to leave because of how it effects me mentally. Appreciate any thoughts people have here.

@IJB063 well it's funny because my goals are to relax. Like I get home from work and I'm subconsciously just saying like. Okay...RELAX! RELAX!!!! do this to relax!!!! Why aren't you relaxed yet! And then that stresses me out. And yes I've had some success with the win hof method, I like that one, feels like it reduces anxiety levels for me.

Something important I've noticed since being away from work for nearly 2 months. For months, whilst in the work week, I've been self sabotaging my own happiness and sabotaging even more when what I do inevitably doesn't work. What I mean is. When I'm in the workweek, getting reading, working, time after work. I've found it impossible to relax and have peace of mind at the weekend. And it's been a never ending battle. Because I can never achieve this calm mindset it's always busy. I try and maximize the amount "freedom" once I get home from work by telling myself that I just go walk the dog, I must workout, I must spend time with the family. And then I simply notice that I feel no better. So I dig down and become even more rigid in my winding down activities after work, which does the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve! It's been a problem for at least 6 months. I set all these expectations for myself, and I get frustrated when I feel like I'm incapable of controlling my mind, so I control it even more. Just perfect example of neuroticism. Just wanted to share my experience and it's been a really relieving breakthrough.

Hello all I've recently become aware of how much I try and neurotically control myself to relax all the time, which is quite funny, because that's not what relaxation is at all. Leo mentioned in his "big picture of self actualisation" video and I can't really find a video other than maybe his video '40 signs you're neurotic' & 'the power of letting go...' which I will be watching again and making some notes on. But I was wondering if there was a direct video that can help me work on this.

Hello all I'm currently in lockdown in the UK, was wondering if I could have some tips for good ways to pass the time through the day, I currently waste it on my phone almost entirely

@Husseinisdoingfine I've considered the life purpose course, and then forgot about it. In one way I want to set concrete goals, but I end up just shifting from one topic in personal development to another, which rationally I know isn't as beneficial.