rNOW

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  1. There's a technique called "Grey Rock" technique to be used to dealing with toxic and narcissist people. You can look up many videos about them on YouTube. It's a technique by which you do not need to block people or reason with them, since toxic people can handle neither of it. So you have to do it in such a way that they lose interest in your life. Is that manipulation? Yes. But the other option is cutting all ties. Which if it works for you, great. Otherwise Grey Rock technique is pretty good. Also, it is better if you let go the idea of 'mother' as a loving parent. Sorry but that may not be for you. The more you expect her to love you the way other mothers do, you're going to be disappointed. Instead, give yourself the love you wish to receive from her. Show her how you need to be loved. If she learns, well and good. If not, well and good too!
  2. You have to be authentic, you do not need to adjust yourself to match other people's interests. That way, you will know exactly which people are your people. I find that if I fake interest in trivial gossips that many people engage in, I find they will think I actually like it and give me more of that. If I express interest in exactly what I am actually interested in, those who aren't interested in those same things, will automatically fall away or drift away. And the ones who have similar interests are drawn to me. Example: You do not need to discuss TV shows if you don't like to. Let others know that you do not watch TV because it doesn't interest you. They might ask what you do in your free time. You can then share your personal development or spiritual practices. It might even interest them on this path. Or they might call you boring and ignore you. That way, you do not need to calculate on which level of spiral dynamics they are or how much conscious or less conscious they are. If communication is a two-way street, half the road, is yours. You keep walking in yours. That's the only thing you can do.
  3. Can you do a job as an assistant to a yoga teacher who is already established and then learn ways from there before you start on your own? You can even make a network of clients that way. This way, you integrate your purpose even in your job, you get to talk about your purpose to people you see, and get to express your values.
  4. Agreeing to the points others have made, yes, foreigners are scammed for money because they do not know the market price of things. So get your Indian friends to do the dealing for anything that doesn't have a MRP tag on it. Buy groceries from supermarkets instead of local shops. You will find people are usually very hospitable and will offer you food for various occasions if they find out you are a student. Language is no problem in Mumbai, most people speak English there, even cab drivers and small shopkeepers manage broken English. The local language there is Marathi. You can find all kinds of food there. There is no dearth of eateries and varieties you find there. If however you do not live in Mumbai and move out of it, this whole thing will change, language and food choices. But I find that the smaller the town, the more loving and hospitable the people. But you have to be careful at all times, no matter what. Don't keep your wallet in your back pocket, especially on railway stations and other crowded areas. Travel in groups whenever possible. And let someone who is not travelling with you know about your whereabouts. For easy language learning, I would suggest you keep a translation of basic phrases like how are you, where is this, where can I find this, who is this, etc. in a piece of paper or your phone so you can ask anyone and manage by gestures. Some Indian pronunciations of English words are hilarious and you may take a while to get them. But best learning is when you move here. You can begin by learning the alphabet, so you can read things, maybe? The grammar is similar to European languages, I find. You will find the best way to build a network of people is your neighbors and people you know. You won't find listings of things on Google here. The people around you are your Google. If you need to buy or sell something, ask your neighbours or your domestic help. Domestic help is cheap and affordable, though comparatively expensive in Mumbai. Again, ask your neighbours before hiring anyone. There are lots of festivals since India is a hub of all cultures. And we celebrate all kinds of festivals, irrespective of whether it belongs to your religion or not. That means there are many holidays and you get to eat different varies of foods and treats made on these occasions. So try to find out what the next festival is, and you can plan to enjoy them all. Most important: DO NOT ASK OUT ANYONE YOU DO NOT KNOW and have just met. It is considered creepy behaviour here and the society isn't that open minded. If you like someone, first just get to know them generally before you ask them out or invite them home. Also, though we have lifted the homosexuality ban now, it doesn't change people's beliefs. So keep your sexual preferences and activities to yourself. (Don't kiss in public.) If you bring someone home, people (neighbours and nosey people) may get judgemental towards you, though in Mumbai this is not the case, but there are always diamonds in the rough to look out for. Try not to eat street side food. It may taste very good, but may cost you a lot of your health. Try to keep an emergency contact for a couple of local doctors if you need to. Yeah and don't fall into the drug market. It is ugly and better not let it affect you when you are student. Travel and have fun, cause it is cheap. All the best!
  5. It depends on what industry you are in. Most internet forums are based on specific fields.
  6. @Nahm Exactly my point. What is love though. Don't you think it is easy to find connection to everything and everyone once you know how to direct absolute attention to it? Though until one experiences this, there are specific activities one must do to feel the connection.
  7. I live in India. Ask away. (Though I am not sure much about Mumbai, but I have visited it a few times.) One book which I really liked was Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. Don't have your parents read it. They might get more worried
  8. My dad is a doctor. He has cured some fine diseases with Ayurvedic herbs. The cure and recovery rate is slow so it is hard to believe and often patients give up hope without going all in on it. Also they tend to try out many things in a short span of time, so it sometimes messes up their system. But know someone who was given 5 years to live due to some lung disease and they had been cured by some herbs in our garden. Point to be taken. The patient is now cured, but they did not change their lifestyle, so we cannot say they are healthy. Also the mental state of the patients affect the recovery greatly. I also know someone who had very simple disease which was easy to cure, if they just got up and exercised. They did not, and had no desire to live or get cured. They spent 3 months in hospital just like that - with no reason, just benefiting the hospital profits, even after the doctor had asked them they were fine to go. No medicines can work on such people. I've personally used silver colloidal water to wash my eyes in conjunctivitis. Infection gone in 6 hours when I washed my eyes every 30 minutes. If you're interested, read about Ayurveda and the food system it advocates. It says all diseases are an imbalance of elements of water, fire and air in the body. Once you understand how it works, you can recover from anything. One interesting book (not Ayurveda) is - What your doctor doesn't know about nutritional medicine may be killing you by Dr. Ray M Strand.
  9. I've always wondered why people get passionate about doing 'fearful' things? Why do they get so addicted to it, that they are willing to risk their lives for it? We all do it for a thrill- going on a roller-coaster or sky-diving or bungee-jumping. You see, this is not at all about overcoming fears. It is that, fear beings your awareness into the present moment. And in the moment of great danger, your mind goes blank. People doing these stunts, are not overcoming fear, they are chasing the bliss they get from being present. And too bad, they need dangerous situations to remain present. Some others can do that sitting in a cubicle all day. Unfortunately, it is easy to see what people do, and not easy to see what goes into their minds. I haven't watched this documentary, but I believe this is the very reason people climb mount Everest. It looks like bravery, but feels like meditation, becomes an addiction, an attachment, and they call it passion. But no. The most fearless persons I know are those who aren't addicted to any 'moments' or 'things to do'. They do whatever is required of them in any situation. And it ends there no strings attached.
  10. Not sure where you live, but if you can get your hands on this, it has excellent antiviral properties. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllanthus_niruri This grows as a weed in my neighbourhood and I've used it personally for viral fevers. Gone in a day or two. Have seen it work on other viral diseases too. Please do consult an Ayurvedic practitioner before you try this though I don't think it has any side effects.
  11. Here's a simple explanation: You were born, and someone gave you a name. You noticed everything and everyone around you, how they behaved, what worked and what didn't. You noticed what got rewarded and what got punished. You noticed what was appreciated and what was criticized. You noticed what was valued and what was devalued. And just like that, in all that noticing, you cast yourself into a mould that everyone around you put you in. That, is so gradual and unconscious, that you end up thinking, this is me. That you, the image you have of yourself is your personality. As an example: Ever since I was a kid, my mom would interrupt me whenever I tried to speak something. If someone asked me a question, she would answer on my behalf before I do. And then over a period of time, I felt it is not really a good idea to open my mouth. I retreated into a shell and became an introvert. I disliked being around people even though I could not pin point why. Then that became my personality - shy and quiet. Then I move out and go to college. I no longer have my mom around. I also get to do stuff that I find interesting. I am able to ask questions openly and answer them honestly. And people started saying I'm so confident. Then that became my personality. That is what a personality is. People at in my family have a hard time believing I am confident and outspoken. People at my college have a hard time believing I'm shy and quiet. None of these extremes is me. Both are acquired traits. Personality, the word, comes from 'Persona' meaning a 'mask'. So it is something that actually covers up your real face or the real you. How do you know what is the real you? When you let go of all your masks and stand naked. Decide which aspects of you are acquired and let them go. It's a hell of a process and hurts your ego a lot.
  12. As an architect, here's what is most unfulfilling- Designing the same things over and over and over again. I love when clients are genuine and open and voice their requirements and personal quirks which I can then convert into bricks and stones and plywood. BUT these types of clients are rare. Everyone wants what their neighbours want. It takes me all the life in me to convince them that their life and lifestyle is not their neighbour's lifestyle, so it should be unique and personal, like a fingerprint. But of course, that means more effort and more time, which doesn't market well in the industry that learns by 'how it looks'. I dislike designing apartments which look exactly the same matchboxes as those in the whole 20 sq km area. It is very disheartening to look outside the window and see nothing 'new'. People start behaving similarly when they live in similar houses, and I don't want to be a part of this mass-produced humanity. I have no idea how to go about it, but I recognize that THERE IS NO COMPETITION IF YOUR WORK IS AUTHENTIC. Sure, others may copy my designs. Let them. They may get paid more for it. Let them. As long as I get to express my creativity, why bother?
  13. I wonder now, how Leo would talk about the same topics he talked about 5-6 years ago. I can see a huge change in the direction his channel has gone and even though his focus now isn't personal development, I would like to see what new insights he can bring to the same topics he spoke on many years ago.
  14. This is amazing. Bumping up. Appreciate what you do!
  15. You will feel you have wasted your life when you haven't realized the role each of these situations have placed in getting you where you are. Sure some people get there faster than you, some slower, but is there a deadline to self-realization? Your life wherever it is, is this because of every single moment you have lived right now. It's not wasted moments, just tasted moments. Once you understand this, you will no longer waste any more moments reliving this story in your head. It might look unkindly of me to say this, but I'm 33 now. And I felt I wasted my life until I was 30-31. I have spent a lot of time procrastinating and blaming people and blaming myself. But here's the truth: I had to waste (or spend) that time to know that that means nothing. You cannot love yourself by hating the moments that made you you. And unless you love yourself, you cannot value your time. You cannot hate yourself into doing something valuable with your time, because you wouldn't value anything you do, because you hate abhor yourself. So even if good things come your way now, you will not value them. Instead, try this: you already are self aware enough to be aware of your shadows. Befriend them. They aren't separate from you. The past you, is still you. Just wanting yourself for the good things you give yourself is not love. Love encompasses all. Think of yourself as someone you have decided to stick to with all your life. And start there.