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About SerpaeTetra

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  • Birthday 03/26/1979

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    Mount Prospect, IL
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  1. Low self-esteem and family
    Low self-esteem and family
    You’re question is right on. The answer that is true for you now, is that that is not what matters. Right now, feeling better is what matters. 
    You’re adding thoughts to what you’re seeing & hearing. The theme of the thoughts strikes me as, “people, mom, where is the love?”.
    Mom’s being mom, choosing her thoughts, feeling her sensations, and creating perspectives - living her experience. You’re being you, and you are doing this as well. Just do it a little more on purpose. You are the bringer of the love. There is no responsibility, no catch, no strings. The love is for you, to feel. Yeah, you. You’re that powerful.  One can not in truth put another down. That requires of you the adding of such thoughts to what is seen & heard, and the ignor-ance of your power. Nobody is helped by you pretending to be so small. It’s not working for mom with you, nor will it work for you with you, or anyone else. Sensations tell you this truth, listen to them.
    Pain is an intense sensation, such as bumping your head on the car when you’re getting into it. 
    Suffering is the adding of thoughts to that sensation, and creating perspective ...”Oh my God! Cars are deadly, scary! Surely something must be done about this! What if I hit my head again?! Is there an organization for this? Surely others are as worried about this!!”
    Well, we’re not. Worry, and you worry alone. Smile, and reality smiles with you. I am smiling now. How do you find this, comparatively? This bringing the love “strategy”, feel good, feel right? Does it “work”? I’m convinced, by the feeling of it, that it is working for me. You have the same access, to the same goodness, to the same miracle. 
    Breathing is a gift we can use, it is the prana, the chi, the source, the present itself, it is life itself.  Focus on it, draw your clarity from it, feel the peace in each and every breath. When we do this, thought recedes. “Problems” are revealed to be perspectives you created - by ignoring your sensations when they told you the perspective you were creating was not your best, not of your highest truth, nowhere near the true you. Let it go.  Sensation arises again to it’s rightful place, of guidance. Listen, while such scenes unfold, and always. 
    Then you can pick the thoughts, in alignment with the sensations, from your true perception;  peace, love and understanding. Draw from the only thing you can, consciousness itself, yourself. Fill yourself with it, bask! Eventually, if not now, you’ll turn that consciousness into conscientiousness. You’ll realize how wonderful it is. Mom will notice, but tread slowly, as it’s not about mom. Mom’s gotta do what you’ve gotta do. Same love. Patiently allow the momentum of this goodness to build, eventually you will see, this is all mom needs to be willing to see to.
    That you can make her see this, that it is your responsibility, is another thought. How does it pair with sensation? I bet the sensation says something more like, “You got this. Eventually she’ll wonder what it is you’ve got, and she’ll ask. And you’ll tell her, it’s just love, sensations, and choosing - creating - perspectives.”
    By confusing suffering for pain, by not realizing you are creating your perspectives, you tend to fear what could happen. But you are already discovering you true position, that you can create your perspective. That pain is not suffering. Have a look online at emotional scales. See that overall, this is what’s really happening within each of us. Keep creating perspectives that feel good to you, you’ll naturally rise to the top of that scale over time. Then great mysteries of your self, and of the universe will be revealed to you. Then, you’ll see the relationship between suffering & compassion very clearly, and you’ll see how mom is actually doing her best. So just do your best, just for you. Simply for the doing of it, for how it feels. Just for fun. You will see, and all kinds of magic will follow.