Diane

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About Diane

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  • Birthday October 22

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  1. Amazing things that happened this week: I made a list on evernote of the things I wanted to write here. Here it is: This video about the 5 stages after a breakup. Last Saturday, after watching the movie Joyeux Noel, for some reasons I went into total withdrawal mode and decided to text my ex fiancé. I did a little monologue for a while and finally he answered "I'm sorry Diane but you decided to walk out of my life" (I had told him that I missed talking to him..). It was a bit of a shock but also very relieving in the end: it felt as if it was finally REALLY over, with not even the slightest chance of going back. So now it's "love myself" time, even if I skipped the "stepping out" phase.. Talking about which, just now while watching again the video about breakups, some interviews with Dita Von Teese popped out and obviously I took the time to watch all of them!! I definitely love her femininity, she perfectly represents the way I want to be as a woman. Thankfully, as always, it "only" takes study and practice!! On Tuesday I did the infamous presentation on atrial fibrillation at work. I could have done much better but still, it was a good exercise and a good reminder of what it takes to be a good performer, improvisation can be good only once you're totally prepared.. Crossfit. I don't know exactly why I wrote this note, anyway I keep making improvements and the more I learn the more I like it!! Yet I'll still go only two times per week next year, I decided to go back to dancing too.. I definitely could make use of some partner dancing skills!!! Ways I could have made this week even better: Studying. I kind of crammed for the presentation and then I went back to no studying mode. I was so overwhelmed by the number of things I have to study and keep up to in general that I preferred not to do any of them. Deliberate practice time: Not much. What I learned: I can't always run. Literally and figuratively. On Monday (instead of preparing for the upcoming presentation, that I had already postponed as it was initially scheduled for Monday afternoon) and on Friday (instead of going into stop loss mode) I literally runcrastinated and today I just decided to spend the whole day out with a friend. So what am I running from??? As a matter of fact I'm running away from amazingly beautiful stuff, in a nutshell the best version of myself. They say resistance is something you should expect when trying to make any kind of change.. There's a great chance that they'll actually engage me in Switzerland, my professor told me that after talking about me they told him that they can now "go on with the contract".... So I'm thrilled and terrified at the same time... Yet the only thing can do is owning it, fortunately all of this didn't happen by chance, I called for it and now it's time to "face" it!!
  2. Amazing things that happened in the last month or so: I'm finally back to doing my evening routine!! I'm happy and amazed by the many little things that happen to me.. Unfortunately I didn't write them down so I don't remember every single one of them, the fact is that I'm little by little manifesting everything I "designed" and hoped for while doing the life purpose course. A few days ago I was a little sad and I decided to look back to the notes I took during the course and it was soooo relieving!! Here are the things I've already realized based on what I had wrote it would look like to be at a 10/10 on my top 10 values: Beauty: "finding my style". Contribution: "doing well my job". Friendship: not so much in this area actually. I had wrote about being part of a sort of mastermind group.. It will come!! Honesty: "saying what I think without being afraid of other people's judgment". Learning: "learning new sports" I'm getting better and better at crossfit, I've already mastered 3 exercises: snatch, power clean and push jerk!! . Aaand on Monday I'll do a presentation on atrial fibrillation (which perfectly aligned with my zone of genius: research and public speaking... )!! Optimism: "bringing joy in the rooms I enter". I always greet people with a smile when I get into a room at work (and when I meet people in general). Passion: "being in love with my job, going to work happy as there is nothing else I'd rather do". Even when things don't go well I'm relieved by the idea that nobody forced me to do this job, I chose it and I love it so I can't but accept also the negatives that inevitably come with it. Cfr.: Professionalism: "Knowing how to talk to patients in a decisive way without being authoritarian but remaining friendly". "Dressing impeccably". I'm still far from perfection but I'm getting better at it I think. "Knowing how to speak to my colleagues in a way that inspires respect still remaining friendly". I think I'm getting better at this too, I used to be a little bit too jokey while talking to colleagues at work, now I try to be as professional as possible when talking work. Travel: "Travelling with friends". I'm already planning the next vacation with a friend, it's going to be something adventurous this time!! . "Travelling often, also for work" E.g.: going to Switzerland for a job interview!! I'm still up for a place in May 2019, they will contact the professor I gave as referee and then maybe I'll have a definitive answer. And I'll be home for Christmas!!! Personal growth: "wearing my hair natural as I accept myself for what I am / I'm not afraid to do a little effort in this area". It's not written anywhere but I cut my hair also with the intent of doing some kind of physical exercise every day and I'm getting closer and closer to this "goal" too!! Two weeks ago I went to Crossfit 4 times in a week and this week I finally started running again.. Talking about manifesting... I bought a beautiful white agenda as 2018's gratitude journal. The color white stands for the intention of getting married in 2018.. We'll see... Here is my vision for my love life: There will be lots and lots of dancing, dancing everywhere!!! Ways I could have made this month even better: Not giving up on my plans and believing in the fact that "everything is figureoutable", as Marie Forleo says it. Deliberate practice time: As for today, at least 3 hours. What I learned: The idea of mastering the day, from ModernHealthMonk Alex. It's something I had already come up with, I remember I once wrote the phrase "balanced days create a balanced life" so it was a good reminder.
  3. Amazing things that happened this week: I finished the book "So good they can't ignore you". It helped me recall a lot of important concepts like the fact that at the beginning everything is difficult and it's only by practicing and mastery that it becomes enjoyable. So today I finally surrendered to the fact that I can't but take every little step necessary to fulfill my goals, it won't happen in one night "when I'll be ready".. The book also reminded me of Steven Covey's concept of spending most of the time in "quadrant 2" activities, important but not urgent. Cal Newport uses the expression "building career capital", I find it very compelling!! I planned next week. Everything is easier when you have a plan A. I studied!!! Ways I could have made this week even better: Having a plan A. What I learned: We attract who we are. It was a realization I had while thinking about why I don't hang out with so many colleagues. Most of the times I go out I'm with students, not a bad thing per se but still significant.. Yet another reason to study, as it turns out all of my problems have the same solution: studying more!! Deliberate practice (=studying) time: Approximately two hours, very little but still better than nothing..
  4. Amazing things that happened this week: I spent a night out with with some of my roommates to kind of celebrate my birthday even if a bit late and they gave me a super yummy Yankee Candle as a gift.. It has a very delicate fragrance and I have the sensation that it somehow warms up my room.. It's one of those things that I've always restrained myself from buying for fear of softening too much.. I know now that it was the wrong mindset, the externals count far less than the what's on the inside, it doesn't matter if I live in the fanciest place in the world or in a tiny undecorated room, the only thing that matters is what I actually do with my time and with my life in general. I finally went to CrossFit again!! Amazing as always!! I finally started meditating again.. I'm relieved by the fact that Leo once said that it's quite normal to miss some days here and there in the first two years of meditation.. Apparently the idea that it takes 21 days to build a habit is not always true.. Ways I could have made this week even better: Being more productive.. It took me one week to check out all the points on the to do list of last Friday... What I learned: You need to be good at something before you can expect a good job. The harder I work the more relaxed I can play. If you're not uncomfortable then you're probably stuck at an acceptable level. (All from Cal Newport's "So good they can't ignore you", a very eye-opening book so far!!)
  5. (R)EVOLUTION I guess I should rename my journal from “from half-assed medical student to world-class Cardiologist” to: “From half-assed medical student to...”. Indeed at present I'm not so sure about the goal of becoming a Cardiologist.. Working on the project of moving to Switzerland, among others I applied to a residency in physical medicine and I actually got an interview for the place.. I didn't previously know very well what physical medicine was exactly about so I did some research and I was like WHAAAAT?!?! For the first time I found a definition of the images I had about what I want to do for the rest of my life.. With all the new notions I acquired about preventing and reverting chronic diseases with diet, becoming a Cardiologist was starting to feel a little tight as a goal. So I thought about becoming a Cardiologist and then implementing everything during my practice. But then there's also the fact that I want to practice a holistic medicine, taking care globally of patients. I've had these ideas at least since finishing medicine (I could write a book titled “the life-changing magic of the bar exam”...) but I had never explored them thoroughly to see exactly how I could make them real, I thought it would have just been in the way I did things.. Yet it can be both, I can actually merge what I do with how I do it. I guess that could be resumed in the word “becoming” as what I do and how I do it are nothing but clear expressions of who I am. I now have a beautiful teleological view of everything that happened in my life: Not passing my last exam right away changed me and let me see things and possibilities that I would have otherwise missed. Not making it to become a resident in Cardiology showed how I actually like to be confronted with a large variety of cases, even if the cardiological ones still have a special place in my hearth.. Living and leaving a 5 years long love story let me know how much I don't know about love.. I've been thinking about it a lot recently, I don't think I really loved him, I just liked him and how he almost worshiped me. At least now I know that I don't know. Yesterday I finished listening to “The 7 principles for making marriage work”. It was a great read. Leaving that relationship led me to seriously consider the idea of moving to Switzerland and two days ago I did my first interview in a domain that I didn't even know I liked.. They'll come back to me within 15 days. What I know is that while I was in Switzerland I kept seeing 11:11 everywhere I turned, like here: Even now, I glanced at the keyboard and the first key I saw was f11... So for that interview, I started totally detached from the result but now I would really miss not working in a place like this: (photo). It's beautiful beyond measure, as all the places I visited in Switzerland were. I've decided that autumn is my preferred season (it's also the one I was born into, thinking about it..). The last time I saw such beautiful colors and landscapes I was in Wien, during a school trip and I'm still in love!! Yesterday I wasn't able to take the last train home from the airport so I spent a night out and took another day off from work. I named the experience “lone elopement”. Before getting to he hotel I actually said to myself “thank you for the opportunity to rest a bit” and the answer was: “you're welcome, I love you”.. <3 <3 <3 This morning I put on some Beyoncé and an old vision I almost had forgotten about came back to my mind: “I want to become the Beyoncé of medicine”. I don't know when does this go back to but I've never wrote it down nor really acted on it. I guess the time has come... Here is another interesting thing that happened: last year I envisioned myself celebrating this year's birthday in Switzerland and this is what actually happened!!! This time I'll just have to be more specific about the duration of my stay.. Besides, this night I dreamed about Matthew Hussey so who knows... Talking about Switzerland, look at this: https://www.suva.ch/en/the-suva/about-us/suva "Believing in rehabilitation is believing in humanity". Howard A. Rusk
  6. Amazing things that happened recently: I'm starting to get the benefits from my almost vegan diet (I still don't stick to it when eating out if there are no other options or if there is something I REALLY want to try..): no menstrual cramps!!! I used to be utterly dependent on NSAIDs to function during my periods.. Since I cut out meat and especially dairy I've been using them lesser and lesser, I didn't notice it first but this month looking back I noticed that I took just one pill and I actually didn't really need it.. I'm currently listening to the book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman. It's very counterintuitive in a way.. I used to have this idea that to have the perfect marriage I would have to first become the best version of myself (if not "perfect") and then find another "perfect" person.. Yet it's "only" about loving and respecting each other.. What totally blew my mind was the phrase: "Like the Aikido yield-to-win principle, you cannot be influential in your relationship unless you also accept influence from your partner". It instantly reminded me of "Mastery" by George Leonard.. I can't describe the extraordinary feeling of "oneness" I would say, the intuition that "of course, it's all the same".. I see beauty everywhere!! Here are the flowers along the stairway where I live: I don't know their name, they look and smell like roses but looking closer they actually look like a cabbage red in the inside and green on the outside.. So beautiful anyway!! They made me think of the fact that when I will have my own apartment/house I want to always have some fresh flowers around the house or at least on the table in the living room.. #manifesting!!! I'm happy most of the time now and for no special reason!! On Sunday I had my second Italki lesson. The teacher was again incredibly better than I could have ever hoped, she had taken the time to do some research on the most frequently asked questions during job interviews so I had the opportunity to do a sort of simulation of the interview. I still have a lot to work on but she really was a game changer!!! The more I go on the more I love CrossFit, I will never say it enough!!! Ways I could have made these days even better: Following plan A. The good thing is that at least there was a plan A... What I learned --> my behavioral change: To be more flexible.
  7. Amazing things that happened this week: It was really an amazing week!! At the moment I'm listening to some Norah Jones to "calm me down a bit"... I can't remember exactly the day but at a certain point I felt the "not belonging" feel I used to feel in high school.. At the time I used to think that becoming a doctor would have made me finally belong to something.. Yet that feeling came up again the other day while watching the facebook profiles of some acquaintances in Switzerland.. After watching some videos and thinking about it I realized that there's no point in longing to belong as we all belong everywhere and anywhere at the same time, or as Maya Angelou beautifully puts it: "You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all". Sometimes I get overwhelmed by trying to figure everything out in precise details instead of just focusing on the right next step, as the rest is all about trusting and believing.. I have this beautiful image of laying on the water letting myself go with the waves.. On the other hand I also spent most of the week listening to Imagine Dragon's "Believer", I love the part in the video where one of the two says "I want to stop" and the other answers: "You can't"!! Talking about surrendering, it's a concept I'm becoming familiar with thanks to CrossFit too, at the new box I'm going to they have a very different approach from where I was before and getting used with being more focused on the techniques than on expressing the maximum power possible reminds me of the example in the book "Mastery" of the two martial art professionals who started learning Aikido, one trying to mix it up with what he already knew and the other taking a beginner approach.. I decided I'm going to run at someone else's pace from now on (at CrossFit...), mine is too fast AND now I accept it.. This: Simplicity is the ultimate perfection. Today I had my first Italki lesson AND IT WAS A M A Z I N G !!!!! Like: the best thing ever, really!! I had selected a community tutor living in Switzerland. Before the actual lesson, based on the few lines I had wrote about me, she had already made a plan about what to focus on during the lesson. In the end I learned a lot and she actually helped me in preparing for the upcoming job interview. She also gave me some suggestions on what to say/mention during the interview!! Initially I thought that 45 five minutes were way too much time but I ended up booking a new lesson, of 1 hour this time!! It all reminds me of the part of me who's still regretting the fact that I didn't start earlier seriously working on the Switzerland thing.. It wasn't definitely the time... Ways I could have made this week even better: Studying more!! What I learned --> my behavioral change: "Achievement is not the problem, alignment is". One of Brendon Buchard's clients. Really, now that I see myself there, all the paths leading to Switzerland are opening up!! I was looking at the trains to draw up a little budget of the money I will need for transportation when I realized that there's also the carsharing option, with the same app I'm using in Italy!! How perfect can it be?! Not only I will be saving money but I will also have the opportunity to practice speaking French!!!
  8. Amazing things that happened today: I'm the chief. That's something I'm realizing more and more as time goes by. Firstly for what concerns my diet, I'm sometimes tempted to seek other people's advice on this whole food vegan boat I've embarked on but then I remember that in the end I'm the one who decides what to put in my mouth and what not to.. Then there's the Switzerland thing.. A (huge) part of me expected much more support and external recognition for every little thing I accomplished.. Yet I'm the only one who can judge if I've done something significant or not and what is the right next step. The good thing is that all this makes me feel anxious but in a tamed way, it's not the paralyzing anxiety I used to feel, I just recognize and accept it and then move on. My "new" running shoes!!! I've never actually bought pair of shoes specifically for running, I just "downgraded" other training shoes I already had.. This time though I "downgraded" a very good pair, running really felt like flying inside them!!! I wasn't even so tired when I got home... I did my first meal prep!! I thought I couldn't do something similar as I don't have too much space in the fridge yet I now have all the vegetables I can need for the week ready to eat!! No more banana&peanuttoastsonly days!!! Ways I could have made today even better: Being more cheerful (and grateful!). What I learned --> my behavioral change: The bigger your dream, the earlier you have to get up. Eric Thomas (I think..)
  9. Free thoughts Soooo... I got an interview for a residency in Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation, the place is vacant from May 2019 not in 2018 as I had proposed for but I accepted anyway.. The interview will be on October, 24 in Sion.. I'm utterly unprepared but I have all the tools I need, I've been buying tons of books to re-learn French and to revise Medicine in French, I "just" have to start opening them more frequently, I've been very busy distracting myself lately... Fortunately Switzerland keeps calling me in every possible way (or I guess I just haven't given up the project despite my laziness): yesterday I went to a BLSD course and the room we were in was full of names of Swiss towns, on the floor there was this: Then during the afternoon we went to take a walk in Alghero and while watching the sunset (amazing btw, I had never seen the sun falling into the sea, it's a matter of minutes, if not seconds, a beautiful metaphor of life...) there was some people speaking in French behind me and my colleague... All this reminds me of the recurring dream I used to have about Guardian Angels... In Switzerland I'll probably see my putative husband, with whom I haven't been in contact as much as I had planned though.. We'll see, I'm in your hands life/God/Universe... Really, everything happens for a reason, or better for a purpose... Like the fact that the CrossiFit box I used to go to relocated, I'm so astonished by how wrong I did pretty much every single exercise (fortunately I haven't been corrected about my running, yet).. All I have to do is to be cheerful and grateful (AND hard-working), the rest is already settled!!
  10. Amazing things that happened this week: Crossfit!! I will never be grateful enough for having found the new box I'm going at, I'm doing exercises with the correct tecniques and it's not as painful as before.. Even if it was a pretty lazy week I sent an application in response to a job advertisement, it was my first application by traditional mail, who knew that it was something still in use in 2017!! I also started reading ESC's guidelines on atrial fibrillation and found this in the table about AF risk factors: Maybe the Cardiologist who wrote this part had just had a week like mine and just needed a little pat on the shoulder.. In the actual study they took this from they actually say: "This risk decreased as the population aged and was offset by known beneficial effects of vigorous exercise on other AF risk factors". ThanksGod!!! I guess Platon wasn't so wrong in disliking writing, it definitely always needs explanation as it's very easy to misinterpret... The further I go on the more I'm amazed by my life and the things that happen to me.. Now that I've finally made up my mind about moving to Switzerland I discovered another way to go work there, an international project similar to the Erasmus called "Ulisse".. Oh, abundance!! Oh, law of attraction!!! Ways I could have made this week even better: Doing more, I can't wait for the day I'll go to sleep knowing that I couldn't have done more/better!! What I learned --> my behavioral change: There's A LOT of work to do and I need to be focused more than ever as my energies are limited, even my renewed plant-based diet --> focus and hard work!!
  11. Amazing things that happened this week: I don't remember the exact circumstances it happened but at a certain point I had this realization: "It's an eternal becoming". There are some things I refrain from buying with the promise that I will buy them when I'm in Switzerland and it's ok, it's kind of a little prize. Yet it doesn't mean that relocating to Switzerland will be the end point of my journey: I'll still have to work towards being a world-class Cardiologist and as a Cardiologist I now have the goal to help using diet as medicine become a common-practice in my field and in medicine in general. I also want to have a beautiful family, a fulfilling social life, to be more and more physically active... The great thing is that all this doesn't make me anxious at all even if they're a lot of great goals.. It's somewhat comforting knowing that I will never be "perfect".. Actually, I'm already perfect, all I have to do is to enjoy and make the most out of the wonderful life I was given.. Another beautiful thought: "winter too is beautiful". Talking about winter in Sardinia is a bit of an oxymoron, I know, yet it's no longer time for dresses and sandals and I like it too!! On Friday I did the first CrossFit lesson in the new box I'll be going to. It was amazing!!! It's even better than the one I used to go to, which was already great!! Oh, infinity!!! "I was lost but now I'm found". It was a bit of a strange week, also because I did my first night shift (that went amazingly well!!!) so I somewhat lost to days.. In the end though "I was found", also thanks to Matt Kahn's video "The Most Important Spiritual Decision". It's good to know that I don't have to figure it all out by myself.. "Scientific abstinence". I had this idea of trying to apply the third of the five precepts of morality (as said by Jonathan Foust: "knowing that sexual desire is not love, that sexual activity moved by craving always harm myself and others, I am determiner not to engage in sexual relations without true love ad deep long-term commitment, made known to my family and friend. Seeing that body and mind are one, I am committed to learning appropriate ways to take care of my sexual energy and to cultivate loving kindness, joy, compassion and inclusiveness". At first this was the one I felt most difficult to apply in my own life yet it's as Leo said in his las video: abstaining from lower consciousness pleasure preparing to taste the much more yummy higher consciousness' ones.. Ways I could have made this week even better: Being more active and doing my evening routine. What I learned --> how is my behavior going to change: Switzerland is not the ultimate goal ( --> I removed the voice "ways I got closer to Switzerland"). The ultimate goal, as written under my vision board is "to live an extraordinary life and realize the purpose of making people healthier through consciousness". And this is something that is done everyday, no mater where I am, the various mid-term goals are only steps that will help me better realize the ultimate goal..
  12. Amazing things that happened this weekend: The resident in internal medicine in Switzerland I'm in contact with keeps giving me very useful advice!! Like also applying for a residency in surgery.. He seems more active than me from a certain point of view... I don't know if it's resistance or just laziness but for example I've spent the last two hours looking for pictures to post on facebook and in the end I didn't post any (I postponed the task no next weekend...).. Sometimes I'm a little too much self-indulgent.. I was listening to "The 48 laws of power" by Robert Greene (in French!! ) and suddenly came up with this interesting paradox: in this book Robert Green teaches how to attain power, which is very useful in everyday life, but on the other hand I still remember how Jonathan Foust's video mentioning the 5 precepts of morality hit me.. I even took notes... So should I follow the laws of power or the precepts of morality?? Both I guess, depending on the situation and the stage I'm at.. That's the trick about learning more and more, you discover that there are infinite possibilities and for a basically indecisive person like me it's hard sometimes.. Take the nutrition thing for example: until a few weeks ago I was convinced that eating olive oil was a good thing yet now I know it's not.. At the hospital when we ask people about their diets we always ask if they're vegetarian or not, assuming that there's no way that a non animal-eater could be healthy, or at least that's what I assumed until recently.. Everyone is supposed to derive the truth by him/herself, which is to experience it first hand.. Commitment is the key.. My beloved CrossFit crew relocated too far for me to go there on foot. When I wrote the coach that I won't be able to continue training with them he told me to remember that the box will always be home!! So sweet!!! Ways I could have made this weekend even better: Studying. Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : No one.. What I learned --> how is my behavior going to change: To put first things first... Repetita iuvant they say..
  13. Amazing things that happened today: It was an incredible day!!! I had planned to go to see a friend and spend the weekend with her but on my way there I found out that there had been a misunderstanding and she wasn't even home... In the end I spent the night out with the amazing girls I met on the ridesharing and I'll sleep at my friend's sister's.. AND we're going to the beach tomorrow exactly as initially planned... I managed to do everything at work on time to go.. A lot of incredible coincidences happened, as I say I live in a continuous state of grace!! Ways I could have made today even better: Studying. Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : No one.. What I learned --> how is my behavior going to change: Life is an incredible experience.
  14. Amazing things that happened the last few days: I had a call with a colleague who's doing a residency in internal medicine in Switzerland, I was very lucky to catch up with him: he showed me some book I can buy to become familiar with medicine in French and also gave me the name of the head physician of the ward where he's working so that I could send him an application, which I did!! I did 50 burpees today!! It was my first workout since returning home.. As always I'm still wondering why I didn't start earlier... I came home from work a lot earlier than usual today and had the time to prepare this amazing lunch: I'm still a bit confused about what I should and shouldn't eat but certainly meat and dairy won't be part of my long-term diet.. I don't know about eggs, for the moment I'm not buying them either.. What I'm most resistant to let go are salt and oil, not that I overconsume them.. We'll see.. Ways I could have made the last few days even better: Studying. Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : Sending other applications. I What I learned --> how is my behavior going to change: "Unhappiness is the difference between how we are and how we would like to be". Giacomo Tonelli --> to always do what the person I would like to be would do.