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About Diane

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  1. Amazing things that happened in the last few days: I really have an amazing life!! I keep realizing it more and more.. For example, I had just decided to finally stop eating pre-prepared meals (I don't know how to call them, it's like soups or risottos that you just have to boil.. I liked to buy them for when I ate at home because they come in single portion and there's no risk in them expiring if I happen not to consume them right away) and a friend of the dorm offered to leave all the actually healthy food she had in the freezer to me as she's going back home and won't be back until September.. The interesting thing is that there's nothing there I couldn't afford but I just didn't buy anything that would occupy the fridge since it's shared and I feared risking to throw away some of the food. So yeah, I guess I'm on the path towards learning to do the groceries like an adult now... Which is a good thing also because from the blood tests I took at work, even if there weren't macroscopic alterations, there was some evidence of a possible deficit in folic acid.. I definitely grew up a little bit spoiled, how else could we explain the fact that at 28 years old buying fruits and vegetables seems totally out of y categories?!? I did do burpees in the morning, for two days.. But at least now I know it's possible!! I started running regularly again and this video appeared to me on youtube: Incredible!! I watched the movie "Without limits" on Steve Prefontaine, very very inspiring!!! Ways I could have made the last few days even better: Studying. Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : Going on with the material I downloaded, still in love!!! What I learned: Life has to be lived. Intensely.
  2. Amazing things that happened today: It was a great day!!! Really, there must be something magical in the 21st of June!! I was a bit lazy in the morning and didn't do my morning routine but everything went well at work, I was very productive (little by little I'm learning to spend more time doing medical stuff trusting that everything else will be done by someone else...) and also went home earlier than usual. Once at home I managed to finally do a shortened version of my morning routine (ie gratitude journal, reading my mission statement + meditating for 30 minutes) before going to crossfit. After dinner I went on reading the material I've downloaded regarding specializing in Switzerland, hoping that I won't fall into a paralysis by analysis vortex.. AND now I'm writing here!! Oh, did I mention that I'm also doing my evening routine again?! Not every part of it but it's still better than not doing it at all! I've decided do replace my morning workout (which I don't remember the last time I actually did) with 100 burpees!! They say that burpees are a "complete exercise" and it should be easier than having to follow a video (which was already quite easy... ). Day by day I'm getting closer and closer to the person I want to become!! Ways I could have made today even better: Waking up earlier. Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : Reading the material I've downloaded. There are some things I had already read but only now truly understood and appreciated. One of them is the description they give of what a specialist is: I couldn't have better described what I want to become!!! What I learned: Sometimes set backs are actually blessings!! I guess it's called "flexibility". It's one of the many wonderful concepts I'm learning from The 7 habits of highly effective people, the idea that it's not a bad thing not to be able to do everything that was planned as long as one continues to "organize and execute around priorities". I will never be thankful enough, Stephen!!
  3. Amazing things that happened today: I'm almost back home!! This time though I don't feel the same feeling of finally being somewhere I belong I felt the last time.. In the last few days I couldn't wait for today to come, I was thrilled at the idea of finally being home but maybe it was more the joy of having a few days off.. I'm listening to the 7 habits of highly effective people.. So thanksGod I'm aware that the solution to being a bit dissatisfied at work is not taking more holidays.. Getting back to the home/belonging thing I now feel more as a traveller, it's ok if I don't have a place where to stay forever. Actually it's part of the vision I have for my life.. So far so good then!! There's a full moon tonight!! It was full also yesterday, it can't but be a good omen!!! This morning, I don't remember what I was doing but I realized that I have a very very easy life, I'm grateful for that!! Ways I could have made today even better: Doing my morning routine!! Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : Finally paying the tax I had to pay!! What I learned: We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit. Aristotle It's obvious. But common sense seems not to always be common practice also in my "zone of influence"...
  4. Amazing things that happened recently: In the end I did not resume my routines but for some strange and absurd reason my laziness brought me to a renewed sense of clarity: for all this time I still had some doubts about whether leaving my fiancé was the right decision or not (we did keep in touch even if everywhere I looked for advice they said not to) but now I feel totally at peace with that decision and I know that it really was the right one. At the same time I am more and more aware of the necessity of letting go of the good to make space for the great in my work life. I "just" need to toughen up a little bit and stop mourning about how tired I am and all the other excuses I come up with every time the word "Switzerland" come to my mind. This beautiful flower: Unfortunately I can't upload its wonderful smell. Yet I'm glad to be able to be stopped by the smell of flowers!! I finally tided up the notes and various papers I had been accumulating I think since I came here in Sardinia. What hit me was how easy and actually enjoyable it was, I kept wondering why I haven't done it for all this time.. I really don't know, it literally unified two of the things I do better and more willingly: tidying up and studying.. Leo's video on how to stop backsliding.. I think it was the third time I watched it.. It was consoling (re)discovering that "failure this time does make it better next time". Ways I could have made the past few days even better: Doing my routines even if as odd as it may seem this time I don't feel so guilty for having been this lazy.. This afternoon Marie Forleo gave me one more reason not to... Ok, maybe she wasn't watching tv series nor oversleeping or going to the beach when she wasn't doing her routines but it definitely was the first time I heard a self-help "guru" talk about the possibility of not having morning and/or evening routines... Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : No one in particular.. Maybe tomorrow I'll finally go to pay the tax I need to pay to make my graduation valid in Switzerland too.. I may be comfortable with having been lazy with all the rest but on this I definitely have some regrets... What I learned: To let go of the Underwoods!! I think I started watching House of Cards sometime around one month ago following the suggestion of a colleague and fostered by knowing that Leo watches it too.. I was really intrigued by this couple, to the point of quite aspiring to create something like that in my own life, then during s2 I realized that they literally destroy everything they touch. At first I had decided to stop there but my colleague insisted on telling me that it was worth it so I went on until at the end of the first episode of s5 I realized that if it was true (as it is) that they destroy everything they touch it wasn't so unrealistic that that could affect me too... So after something like 52 hours I finally decided to let go of the Underwood.. I do want a relationship based upon a shared vision like their's but I also want to do some good for the people around me/us.
  5. Amazing things that happened today: I did my morning routine!! And from tomorrow I'll be working out in the morning every day again!! Since I haven't been meditating for a while now I decided to go back to meditating just for 30 minutes for a month, then I'll go up to 45 and finally back to 1 hour.. Things went well at work. CROSSFIT!!! I came back home limping this evening but I still love it!!! I'm beginning to do the various exercises in the right way: I learned how to deadlift from the backache I got the day I did them wrong and by hearing the coach tell me to get lower so much I'm finally also feeling the squats... Ways I could have made today even better: Studying!! Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : Uhm, doing my morning routine??! What I learned: Maybe working out and running are sublte distractions from doing the "real" work.. I've been having this tought for a few days now.. I'm not a gym junkie, I do crossfit only two times a week, and I actually run less than I did a few months ago but for some reasons every time I have some free time (if I don't spend it watching tv series, another sore point...) I'll either be at the box or running... Because seeing and feeling physical results is easier that waiting for internal changes to happen while continuing to meditate, to study and to prepare for the future... So it's backtoplanA time: I cut my hair so that I could workout every day and I'll be doing that AND I'll also meditate, study and hopefully continue to pave the way to my glorious future as a worldclass Cardiologist!!!
  6. Amazing things that happened today: I meditated!! During the day I realized that today was definitely the perfect day to (re)start: the first of the month and also Monday!! I finished watching Fences. It's not something "amazing" per se but this movie really made me think about a lot of things: love, life, the relationship between parents and children, how great Denzel Washington and Viola Davis are... I went out for a pizza with two friends.. I remember that one of my tutors during the bar exam once told me that wherever I would have gone I wouldn't have had any problem whatsoever. I didn't expect any problem too but I really couldn't imagine having such a good social life!! I did my morning routine and "discovered" that it's actually very easy and simple!! Ways I could have made today even better: Focusing on my goals. Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : Tomorrow seems to always be the perfect day to finally send the applications for a residency in Internal Medicine... I'm listening to the book "The big leap", Gay Hendrick couldn't be righter about the upper limit problem.. Just after sending the papers required to make my degree fully valid in Switzerland I catched a cold... As I always say, consciousness is key. What I learned: You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. John C. Maxwell
  7. Amazing things that happened today: Apparently bellydancing is preparatory to weightlifting!!! The colleague thanks to whom I came to know what crossfit is told me that he foresaw that I have a flair for weightlifting from the way I move, which can't but come from the almost 6 years of bellydance lessons I took... So really EVERYthing happens for a reason... I started taking bellydance lessons just because my friend proposed me to and then I loved it.. And now I discover that in some way it may have prepared me to the sport I'm loving right now, incredible!!! I'm writing here!!!! The same colleague I was talking about sent me a link with a site where to find video-lessons on echo-cardiography.. So Cardiology keeps calling me, I just need to pick up the phone... Ways I could have made today even better: Running!! Having a plan... Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : No one in particular.. What I learned: To be happy as I am..
  8. Control I was listening to this video and I realized that not having control makes me angry and/or anxious.. The core belief beyond that is that I actually can control everything in my life.. After asking "what am I believing?" Jonathan Foust suggests to ask the question "who am I without that belief?". Thinking about it led me to the broader question "who am I?". In my being a lifelong beginner on this journey I didn't think I would actually come to a stage where I would seriously start investigating such matters but here I am.. So who am I? A doctor suffering from a chronic impostor syndrome, a wannabe worldclass Cardiologist, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a crossfitter, a role model for someone (yesterday I was chatting with a young girl at the hospital and I asked her what she wanted to become in her future.. She said "a doctor" and when I asked her what kind of doctor she said "like this" pointing at me... Wow!!), a runner at times.. I am a human being, I am not perfect and it's ok, I can't control everything and it's ok. Especially because sometimes things not going my way is actually a blessing.. So today's lesson learned is acceptance, sometimes I'm right and sometimes I'm wrong and it's perfectly fine. Yeah, life is a war but loosing some battles here and there is not the end of the world.. And even if it was it would be perfectly fine too because if it wasn't it wouldn't happen...
  9. Fail recommit It's the first afternoon I'm not at work and also don't have something "urgent" to do (like watching Iron Fist -which is amazing btw-...) and I don't know what to do as I have so many things to do in theory.. So I decided to write here.. I recieved a very polite answer from the CHUV, the Swiss big hospital I applied to, they said they only recruit people who have already worked in Switzerland for at least two years and they also gave me an address where to find other hospitals to apply to. The link actually doesn't work but I'm still happy for all this as it means that my application in itself was adequate. Fortunately I already have the list of the other hospitals to apply to, I just need to summon the courage to do it... At work too things are going pretty well, it's not all roses but I like the kind of professional I'm becoming: as a recovering people pleaser I can't help doing everything I can to help others but at the same time I definitely don't let people walk all over me. Good. Now I "just" need to recommit to my routines too... But first crossfit!!!
  10. Amazing things that happened in the last few days: I survived another 12h shift without feeling completely exhausted at the end!! I started crossfit!!! It was amazing, the day of the lesson and the day after.. I try not to complain or think too much about it but there's almost no muscle that's not aching... This morning I tried to do some push-ups but I barely could move.. No pain no gain they said, and it totally applies to crossfit!! I'm really curious about tomorrow's workout... Yesterday I went to a Spa for the first time in my life, wonderful!!! Ways I could have made the last few days even better: Studying!!! Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : No one.. What I learned: It's really all about how one sees him/herself.. As days and months go on there are less and less people that call me "miss" or anything that is not "doctor" at the hospital and I haven't changed anything about how I dress or present myself externally in general..
  11. Amazing things that happened today: I spent a great time with my roomates at lunch; It stopped raining right before I had to go out; I'm writing here even if I'm uber sleepy.. Everything worth having requires an effort, they say.. Ways I could have made today even better: Running!! Toomorrow I'll start crossfit though... Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ : I sent the first application to work as a resident in Internal Medicine (I have to do 2 years of internal medicine and then 4 of Cardiology..). It was incredible, I was "forced" to do it today as on Saturday, tired of hearing my mum asking me about where I was with this project, I told her to recall me this evening.. External motivation has its importance too apparently.. At first I had decided to apply only in peripheral hospitals as they should be less sought-after but then I saw that I could apply directly to the CHUV, one of the biggest hospitals in Switzerland, so I did!! What I learned: Not to put limitations on how far (and fast) I can go.
  12. Amazing things that happened today: I'm writing here!!!!!! The chief director of my specialization school said that I am "an excellent new addition" talking about me with another colleague... For the first time I walked out from an 8-20 shift not feeling completely exhausted.. Ways I could have made today even better: Doing my morning routine. ❤️ Ways I got closer to Switzerland: no one.. What I learned: The importance of the concept of equanimity.
  13. So so so... It's the last day of February, 2017 has been here for two months already and I haven't gone so far with my projects.. So let's go back to basics. Here is my mission statement/me sheet: My life purpose: To do plenty of research and public speaking to make people healthier through consciousness AND become a world- class Cardiologist!!! My zone of genius: Research and public speaking. My domain of mastery: Cardiology. My ideal medium: Public speaking. Fortunately working as a doctor I have to do some form of public speaking every day. For what concerns making people healthier through consciousness I think I've done it in some subltle ways, which is quite remarkable since I haven't been reading my mission statement lately (or regularly doing any of my routines...). Research.. I've been studying even at work, instead of going on pinterest during coffee breaks I find myself reviewing something more and more often. Good. And finally my one and only... I haven't been a good spouse lately, the good thing is that love is still there, I just need to start demonstrating it in a more definite, clear and open way again. My top goals for this year: To start specializing in Cardiology in Switzerland; To earn at least 6000€ per month; To finally read (=study) the Braunwald’s manual of Cardiology; To do courses of rapid learning and speed reading; To make reading a daily habit; Having white teeth. This list actually dates june 2016, even if I think I wrote about specializing in Switzerland later on.. So.. What relieves me about not having done almost anything to reach the first goal is this: "3 months", phew!! The truth is that I'm scared and at the same time I'm soooooo comfortable here in Sardinia... Anyway, I decided to transform the question "ways I came closer to becoming a worldclass Cardiologist" into the more specific "Ways I got closer to Switzerland". I really don't know the how and feel totally not ready for this but I know the why. They say it's a good starting point.. For what concerns the earning goal I believe it came from doing Kate Northrup's MoneyLoveChallenge. If I'm not mistaken among other things she suggested to have a specific earning goal. I'm not totally sure about this right now, I'd rather have a lifestyle goal to achieve than a mere financial one.. Wonderful, I'm one goal-to-reach lighter!! The other ones are quite self-explanatory. I don't know how I expect to reach the last goal with the amount of coffee I drink every day tough... Enough for the doing. Now let's get to the real stuff: "THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENLIGHTMENT AND INSANITY, YOU COMPLETELY LOOSE ALL SENSE OF REALITY AND IT'S NEVER COMING BACK. (...) YOU'RE ON A JOURNEY TO BECOME INSANE BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BECOME INSANELY FUNCTIONAL. (...) IT'S ABOUT GOING BEYOND INSANITY. WHEN YOU GO BEYOND INSANITY WHAT THE CONVENTIONAL MIND CALLS INSANITY TURNS INTO SANITY AND THE CONVENTIONAL MIND, WHICH WE CALL SANITY, BECOMES INSANITY. (...) AND THEN, WHEN YOU BECOME INSANE EVERYTHING IS FINE!!". Leo Gura As he said, one could spend an entire life trying to explain all this.. I can't even describe what I felt hearing those words, it was like seeing the world with the right glasses after a life with the wrong ones: I kind of saw something with the first ones but now the colors are brighter then ever... Really, he couldn't have expressed it in a more perfect and engaging way!!
  14. Amazing things that happened in this week: On Monday I went to a crossfit trial class, AMAZING!!!! I was like: I finally found home in Sardinia!!! I'll start in March.. I still haven't found the correct adjective to describe crossfit.. What I know is that I was called warrior for the first time in my life and it was the best compliment I've ever received!!! The coach said that I have a flair for this.. It would be nice to analyze all this from a psychological point of view.. From a certain point of view choosing crossfit as sport is pretty masochistic.. But from another one dying from diabetes/hypertension/depression is the real masochistic choice... I came back home two days ago!! I really needed a few days of vacation, Leo definitely has a point in saying that one should take a few days off once every three months... I think I'm in love.. It's more a crush than real love actually, I feel like the teenager I never was.. Fortunately I have Leo's book list!! AND a life purpose to realize... Ways I could have made this week even better: Studying more; Leaving my eternal state of paralysis by analysis. Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist: No one... What I learned: Yesterday I cut my already short hair.. It didn't come out exactly as planned but I'm ok with that.. I remember one day during high school I cried almost all night long for having to go to school the next day with unfinished braids... I wish I could go back in time and hug that girl's tears away... It's literally just hair and people don't actually care, or better: "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"..