LordFall
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Posts posted by LordFall
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Exactly what @Leo Gura said. I've been in that situation before AND the girl was willing to actually put the effort in it and research her problems and go to therapy with and without me and it was still a struggle and didn't work out. This is the recipe for an EXTREMELY co-dependent relationship.
You only have a sliver of hope if she can realize that her behaviors are issues and is willing to work it out. If not, 0% chance to make it work. Not even 1%.
I would personally get out now before she gets even more invested and Leo is right, you will get threats of suicide when you distance yourself then. Fix your own issues to the point that you don't attract or are immediately aware of people with severe issues before too much investment sink in.
You will grow regardless but IMO, choose a more quality growing experience. I'm sure she is a quality person and all this doesn't remove her positive attributes but in having a successful, healthy relationship; positive attributes don't outweigh negative ones.
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@Michael569 I like what you're saying but I think you're making a big mistake in dismissing pickup in its entirety. There are entirely valid methods developed by the PUA community that not only enhance your interactions with women but also your experiences with them. Things like vulnerability, truth of intent, abundance mentality, not shaming yourself when being rejected have all been talked about in-game.
Yes, there are plenty of toxic mentalities and techniques within game but throwing the baby out with the bathwater would be foolish. Leo both calls out the pickup community for their manipulation but recommends a lot of their techniques in his mega thread.
And to answer your question @AlphaAbundance, I wouldn't recommend doing direct game in school as you can easily destroy your reputation if your game is not highly perfected. Doing indirect game is fine. Meaning talk to everyone, guys and girls, make friends and pursue the girls that appeal to you.
I would 100% recommend supplementing that with game outside of school. Malls, parks, streets and maybe even universities and other high schools near you.
The biggest tip for game is never lie. A lot of beginners and even advanced pickup guys make the mistake of believing they need to lie to make game work. It will kill your authenticity, make those interactions and possible relationships dishonest and really makes you lose out on the depth that game can bring you. Small examples is if you go to another school, believing that you need to tell the girls that you go there to "fit in."
I've had the most dates from daygame going to a university campus near me and straight-up telling the girls that I don't go there and I just come to socialize because otherwise, I'm sitting all day working on a business. Most don't care.
Also most important, have fun and don't take it too seriously. You don't have to become a "master PUA" to get a lot of benefit from game. Have fun, meet people, build connections and get laid. That's what life's about and high school is a great place to start. Best of luck.
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On 8/22/2019 at 9:22 PM, pluto said:You've yet to reach level 9 orgasm
makes squirting obsolete.
Taoist sexology 101.
I got my ex to this level a few times, she had massive Kundalini awakenings each time, shaking and quivering with joy then passed out and woke up feeling like a million bucks. I also felt amazing especially when i would not ejaculate to finish rather enjoyed 3 - 4 hour long orgasm during the whole process.
This only occurred in a state of pure love and no-mind. Very challenging to achieve.
I've yet to find my goddess who can give me a good challenge.
Celibate until then.
How old are you and can you teach me?
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Are you a male attracted to women? Then congratulations, you have perhaps the best most straightforward way to improve your social skills: pickup.
You said you're not interested in that which is fine, just take the lessons from it and apply it towards not pickup. Go out and literally talk to random people, men and women. The Fearless product by RSD Max has some good general social freedom challenges which is a great way to push your comfort zone while having a progression system.
Find novel ways to push your boundaries and comfort zone. Go places alone, talk to people, share the thoughts in your head with others. That's how you break free of your self imposed social prison.
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I like to write the big points and interesting facts I get on a book on my phone. I use my commonplace book on my phone so I can easily find what I personally found to be the most interesting points in a book in a few seconds. It's really convenient. If I put too much effort into note taking/underlining while reading it ruins the experience for me and I tend to procrastinate reading as opposed to when it's a fun activity that lets me learn stuff as a bonus.
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3 hours ago, billiesimon said:Yup, they generally want the confident guy.
But aren't they turned off by emotionality and vulnerability in a man? You know the classic "asshole boyfriend" archetype all girls talk about.
Some are, that's definitely a thing. But they haven't matured properly because if you think about it, it makes no sense. Every man has insecurities, some are just better at hiding it than others. If she resonates with men who outwardly assume "alpha"/confident characteristics but are inwardly insecure, it shows that she operates on a surface level as well.
Plenty of people do that, if not the majority. As @flume said, women also have to do inner work whether consciously or unconsciously. True intimacy is being able to share your true self with another and having them be able to do the same. Don't settle for a hollow version of that. It feels just as good as sex and should be a core part of any solid relationship. Don't be afraid of gambling with being open, if you lose you lost nothing of value anyway.
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I mean, that sounds normal. You probably think of yourself as a standup guy and this girl that you liked is going back to her "fuckup" of an ex that got out of prison. Most men would feel shitty about that, even after doing detachment work.
Just work on yourself and your game and you'll be fine. Embody the characteristic that makes a badboy attractive without having to be one.
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12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:That's not a good way of looking at it.
Life itself requires discipline. You can't just act on every silly impulse you have. Those impulses are often egoic.
And love is not a matter of force. Love is a deeper thing.
This whole topic of conscious relationships is very big. We have not covered it yet at all.
Can you make a video on conscious relationships? I'm sure everyone would benefit from new thoughts.
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The two most important parameters when learning game are anonymity and volume. You want a space with lots of women that will not know you and that you won't run into again. That's because at the start you will be awkward and not well calibrated and you'll need lots of practice to get to a decent level.
Once you get good then game won't really look like game and you'll be able to do it anywhere. You'll just seem like a cool, social guy even if you do pick up at work, school or at a church. To get there takes practice though, keep hitting up those streets.
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I (surprisingly) agree mostly with @Shin's advice. Ask yourself deep down what you really want and expect from a relationship and why you're not currently getting it from her. I worry when you keep repeating that you're afraid to hurt her, are you really willing to deprive yourself and her of a fully loving and passionate relationship because you're afraid of hurting her in this moment?
Relationships are hard, especially after years invested in them. You gotta dig deep down and realize if the fulfillment you're looking for is really in another girl(and it could be. You could be incompatible and the last 4 years will be training towards the relationship you're meant for) or if the issue is a lack of growth on your part.
Regardless, best of luck.
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1 hour ago, thesmileyone said:You seem a bit lost. JP is blue pilled.
What you preach IS red pill.
The problem is most people who call themselves redpill is actually MGTOW.
And most people who call themselves MGTOW are incells.Feminists don't want men to work on themselves. Feminists have a variation of ideas on what men should do which stretches from genocide to all men moving to another continent. None of them have anything to do with men working on themselves. They don't want men in their lives. They don't want men in the world. Hence they push ideas like "Strong independent women don't need no man" and "Single mothers ftw!"
I think you're mostly right on the red pill stuff. What Leo describes is a lot of what Red Pill preaches too. Of course, it's a large community and there's a huge mix of bitterness, misogyny and victim attitude but that's not really what I get out of it. At the core of it, it preaches taking control back, stop blaming outside circumstances and improve yourself if you want success.
I don't think your view of feminists is accurate though. Like any group, there are vocal minorities. There's for sure some that want to see all men burn in a fire but the majority are just normal women that want women to be respected and appreciated.
What I find unfortunate about feminism is that it preaches feminine self-empowerment even to the detriment of women. I had a girlfriend that was so opposed to depending on other people and being her independent person even when it caused her unnecessary suffering. Independence is great but not when it pushes you away from interdependence.
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On 5/17/2019 at 10:28 PM, Leo Gura said:If all is one, there are no strangers in the world. Everyone is your brother and sister.
Yes, you'll be banging your sister
But that only deepens the love, Lol.
God has no one to fuck but itself! #strangeloop
Honestly, definitely. Sounds weird to say but doesn't it make it much better than women are not these alien creatures that you seduce with but feminine parts of yourself that you lost and reconnect with romantically and sexually? The more conscious I get the more I enjoy sex. Leo brother, please make some sort of updated video on anything related to sex, romance, relationships, women, etc. I'd love to hear new thoughts.
On 5/17/2019 at 1:16 PM, Serotoninluv said:Yes, it’s context dependent. In this context, I agree with you that it is ridiculous. Being able to recognize context relative to one’s own experience is a skill. In another context, that would be wonderful advice. . . .I also agree with you that there are a lot more guys in their 20’s here trying to learn how to date than guys in their 40s trying to reach trans-personal nondual states within a stable relationship.
There are a few videos on YT that make fun of nondualists trying to go on regular dates. It can be pretty ridiculous and I think you make a good point ?
Do you have any links to that? That sounds hilarious.
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4 minutes ago, d0ornokey said:RSD thinks he's a bit extremist. And that's RSD lol
Do you have a link of someone from RSD mentioning him? I'd be curious.
Don't be depressed about it. Nothing changed, now you just have more information. Don't necessarily believe it, just use it to filter your experiences and learn more efficiently.
Women are just people trying to live their best life, are you any different? Yes they can be ruthless and shallow but aren't you as well?
It's just a game friend, games are usually more fun when you know the rules so you're only better off than before.
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On 4/27/2019 at 5:46 PM, SFRL said:Learn how to escalate. Physically. You ate getting girls to your place. That's good. That's half the battle. But once you are in that position more should be happening then a few cuddles. You got the skill to get dates and bring girls home. Now you got to get the skills to get the panties off.
That's really all there is to it. You've cultivated your social side enough to the point that you can engage with and keep girls in your life in a platonic way.
Now you gotta connect with your man side(or call it your deep biological desires) and sexually engage with these girls in a way that will polarize them to either fuck you or repel them away from you and be able to deal with both alternatives.
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I doubt it but I'd be interested to see. In my opinion, you should just research regular pickup stuff and filter it through your spiritual beliefs and you'll be able to combine raw efficiency and the high consciousness ideals you're after.
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@FredFred How are you doing now my man? I'm about to go through a breakup myself and I feel like utter shit already, hopefully, it got better for you.
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I think the most important thing to take away from orange is ruthless efficiency. When embodied properly, orange is ruthlessly efficient at achieving materialistic goals.
Contrast that with a green person without orange embodied and you can picture activist for various causes and are not well-planned and organized in their approach.
If you embody both fully, you should ideally be able to work towards whatever noble cause you have in mind while carrying that orange efficiency to be able to make concrete progress/money towards your goals.
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On 2/11/2019 at 6:34 PM, Leo Gura said:If I had an ashram, I would have a library of my underlined books which you guys could browse.
You should properly consider that.
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Please also consider doing this in Canada, specifically Calgary, Alberta. I can guarantee at least +10 would show up, only just the people I know personally.
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On 1/30/2019 at 1:00 PM, Annoynymous said:I find them mostly unique, but what leads me into doubt is that it has got videos like 'How jordan peterson wins an arguement'. Since leo made a lot of skeptical points about jp, it leads me to have doubt in my mind about this channel.
4That seems to me like you're making dogma out of what Leo says which is the opposite of what he teaches. There's a reason he repeatedly says to not take his word for gospel and research for yourself. Jordan Peterson has interesting ideas and perhaps are flawed in some aspect(like anyone) and if you enjoy his content or the content produced by Charisma on Command after critically thinking about it, that's fine.
And for a personal opinion, I think they have good content. They dissect stuff in a way that's not often done and there's definitely value to that.
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@universe Thank you, that sounds very accurate. Every time she does I feel like I'm not enough and I'm not attracting her and I need to go to the gym, be more of a man, etc.
A lot of Leo's videos touch on this but do you have one in particular or stuff I can look up to reflect on this further?
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@Average Investor I try to do that already by being more physical instead of verbal i.e. making out, caressing her, grabbing her legs and slowly moving up, etc and it works sometimes and sometimes not. Any other thoughts?
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I've been dating my girlfriend for 6 months now. It's my first serious relationship as before I was kind of a FA/Incel type before I got into self-development and pickup so a lot of this is new to me.
We've had our ups and downs but generally up and it's been a huge growing experience. The biggest issue seems to revolve around sex and it's frequency. After watching Leo's videos I take a lot of pleasure with sex and improving my skills in it and it's always a good experience. Until she's not in the mood repeatedly and we don't have it for a while and it brings out a lot of frustration and anger in me.
I try to meditate on it and think about it rationally but I still get vivid emotional responses that scare me at times. It's like I've been without sex for so long before this that I have trouble going without it now. Especially when we have a good day together and it seems like sex is for granted and then she says she's tired and it seems like it's out of my hands totally. As a man, I like having things to improve on so if she said she would like a message to get in the mood or to up my physical escalation game I would have no issues but she doesn't give me much to go on.
I've asked this question on Reddit before but I'm very interested in what this forum will think. Any perspective would be helpful.
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in Dating, Sexuality, Relationships, Family
Posted
Decide if this is something you truly want to change or if it would just be nice if it did change. HUGE difference between the two. If you truly want to change it and it's in your current top 1-2 priorities in life then this is very simple. Take massive action and go all-in with pick up. Use Leo's advice and combine it with Redpill/PUA concepts and meet other guys in your city that will go out with you and you will solve this in the next year 100%. No questions asked.
There is no real secret man. Game or no game, getting good with women works the same way for everyone. Be in the presence of a lot of women and make your move on a lot of them. This is how both naturals and the most introverted successful pickup guys do it. Being an introvert is not an excuse. Being INTP is not an excuse. They can be great strength in fact. Just be mindful of using these terms to describe yourself and not as an excuse.