now is forever

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Posts posted by now is forever

  2. Posted

    39 minutes ago, Zweistein said:

    @now is forever Sorry for my absence. Looks like I missed a lot, didn't I? ? 

    @tsuki ?

     

     

    hey you see i still sit here with all the fruits i never left the fruit house - we had strawberries, lemons, apples, bananas and recently we talked about melons... you are the women with the fruits wasn’t it like that... see i really try to make an effort to leave now. 

  3. Posted

    1 hour ago, tsuki said:

    I actually did a few times. @mandyjw also found this thread useful.
    I'm very fond of things I wrote during mystical experiences, they are sometimes food for ouroboros.

    yes i know tsuki - thats why it’s maybe good to delete them anyways... they where never ment for data mining.

  4. Posted · Edited by now is forever

    21 minutes ago, tsuki said:

    Are you gonna rip through our I=you=we thread? It's gonna be heartbreaking for me.

    tsuki some day we have to let the past go. i‘m not gona do it right now because it’s heartbreaking for me, too. memories are memories not manuscripts. how often did you go back and read them anyways?

    it‘s even hard with the konmari method -  only becoming a black box again can make us open for new realities to enter. you can’t take these memories with you anyways, but as long as you live who can take them from you tsuki. just don’t cling to it like it was the only truth. our happiness/friendship is more important than the prove of it.

  7. Posted · Edited by now is forever

    On 26.5.2019 at 2:23 PM, SQAAD said:

    Ok so today i was walking down the street with my family & while we were crossing the intersection a typical stage orange guy inside his car looked at me with an ironic smirk on his face.                                                                                   

     I got really pissed off and upset afterwards and it ruined my whole walk. I regret for not saying something ugly to him. Why do i get so upset over an idiot? I cant understand him bc i dont ever ridicule ppl . Why do some ppl enjoy making fun of others?

          

    because people like to maintain their ego by feeling better, smarter, more beautiful than you, they simulate status like that. they impose power over you by showing you how small you are through displaying their status. they think they are better than you. the problem is, it’s the power you give them by knowing that this behavior is an aggression and meant like it. it is also that you know you are not buying into the scheme but have dreams that seem to be threatened through their behavior. if you go deeper into it - what dream is it that got threatened and how deep is it running? is it only your peace that got threatened by a threat or is it something you try to skip to work on for yourself? or is it maybe because it’s a threat not only towards you but towards your family, too? contemplate what your status in your family would have been some thousand years ago, also think about how your family structure might prepare you for this position since you where born.

  8. Posted

    left some content to delete later, the ones that contain more of a memory than others. it’s especially difficult to delete content of conversations with zweistein.

    On 9.8.2018 at 0:10 PM, Zweistein said:

    Let me answer with a video - can you take in this energy, Tsuki?

    Will my answers ever be satisfying enough?

     

  9. Posted

    11 hours ago, moon777light said:

     

    so even all of my survival mechanisms contribute to this creation? i dont get it

    you talked about layers, and yes there is something like a survival pyramid of lower survival reasons and higher survival reasons and you could say two entities that want to survive in you - the self and the higher self. creation is usually the higher self that wants to express itself. creation entails disconstruction and construction,  creation is in you as a source energy of the higher self but it can be made a slave to the ego.

  10. Posted · Edited by now is forever

    17 minutes ago, Wekz said:

    @now is forever i agree with you, exept the run thing, chose to leave, but never run, dont give them that sattisfaction.

    hahaha - i don’t care what i leave behind, their karma. no it really sounds that easy, how do you leave people without giving them more suffering while leaving them behind? will you leave them without telling them why you leave? without telling them that it’s not ok? will you keep the peace thats not a peace or will you say something and bring some movement into it. and if so, how. that’s really tough. 

    how can people ever learn if no one tells them what’s not ok? question is: can they learn, or will it make the situation really bad, as you open wounds and disturb the peace that’s not a peace. 

    will the disruption change them, will it make them say sorry? probably you won’t hear it. forgiveness for how they hurt you is on your side - not for them but for yourself, forgiving yourself you ever listened to them because you listened unconditionally.

  11. Posted · Edited by now is forever

    1 hour ago, Wekz said:

    @Bill W i wont make that mistake again. I heard all my life you dont matter, you are useless, you dont know anything. I will help as mutch as i can, because i see that beneth that all is just fear and hurt. But if they dont listen, fuck that shit. I wont let fucking morons to take me down again.

    you know that no one has the right to tell another person about how much worth they are! there is no worth to a person because every human being is priceless. but if you realize a person really thinks of you that way - run. you are allowed to treat yourself to this kind of selfworth/love. under any circumstances. it’s universal law no law above that.

  13. Posted

    9 hours ago, Wekz said:

    My grandfather leaft my grandmother and my father when he has i believe 6 or so. And that left them terrified of abandonment. They cope with it by controling everyone and everything. They probably believe that if they control everyone and everything that then noone has the chance to leave. They also witdraw emotions, probably to not get hurt again. But this is destroying our family! It is fucking hell living in sutch an invirement. And the thing is that exacly that behavior will make people leave them again and again. But they wont fucking listen!!! I tried to talt to my father about it but he keeps denieing everything!! He simply wont hear me out, and starts shifting the blamme on me, like he always does, he doesnt believe a word i say, and starts blamming me about my views of god, and im a bad cristian and so on and so on. My grandmother is stage blue and father is stage orange with blue perception of god. How do i convince them that they need do deal with it and to go to a therapist?? I dont know what to do anymore, i feel desperate. And it is i fucking problem, one day you fight with him and the other he is FORCING you to go swimming with him, not asking you but forcing you and if you say no he gets mad and defensive and starts blamming you for god knows what this time. Its messed up, realy terrible invirement, and i would leave and probably will, but my brother and mother live in this too, and i see its fucking with them and messing them up. So i feel bad just leaving them like this, when i know whats the problem. :(

    you can only talk to him about it. you could even try to turn it around and pressure him, that you won’t do anything like going swimming with him until he starts to work on the issue. it’s horrible if family doesn’t want to change. you can’t take responsibility for it your whole life though. your mom and dad are grown ups, if they won’t manage  to work on themaelves you can only spent some time with them once in a while and accept the situation, same with your brother, he will have to make his own decisions, you can only talk to him about how you see the situation. i know it’s tough to leave your mom behind, but she can only liberate herself if anything. 

    don‘t know what convincing arguments could be. people from older generations sometimes have the feeling you can only go to psychologists if you are ill - they don’t get that it’s also a possibility to see it as coaching and support to get more healthy.

  14. Posted

    9 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

    @now is forever Hypocrisy from who in particular? 

    particular in systems. particular in this system.

    what am i talking about? i‘m talking about why i want to leave and why i came here in the first place - i thought there was some dream congruency, but politically i can’t stand behind it anymore. saying „nothing is random“ even, no of course not, it’s all ego.

  15. Posted

    2 minutes ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

    In a sense I'm a raging hypocrite. Through Inquiry, I can no longer run from it. This helps me to see the nothingness of my personality. Feeling deeply this nothingness liberates me, surprisingly.

    we are all hypocrites, but it’s a difference to be a hypocrite without power or with power. 

  16. Posted · Edited by now is forever

    25 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

    Oh, you're killing Buddha. I get it now. 

    no i‘m not killing buddha. i just can’t stand the hypocracy anymore. 

    if hypocracy had something to do with hypocratic vows, it would be nice - but this is about arbitrariness and hypocrites.

    by the way the buddha only leaves hour flowers - lotuses leave no traces except in your heart.

  19. Posted

    14 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

    END OF JOURNAL VOL. 13 6/3/19 -- I'VE BEEN AWAY, BANNED FOR 10 DAYS FROM THIS FORUM AND WARNED NOT TO WORK ON MY BETA "BALLS TO THE WALL PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT" FREE COURSE THAT I WAS CREATING FOR FREE, SO I CAN'T COMPLETE THAT ON HERE UNFORTUNATELY -- A MODERATOR WARNED ME AND BANNED ME, IN PART, FOR GIVING AWAY A FREE BETA COURSE TO THE FORUM -- I HAVE NO MODERATION POWERS ON HERE AND DO NOT HAVE THE SUPPORT OF LEO ON HERE, SO I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT CERTAIN DECISIONS THAT ARE MADE AROUND HERE BY CERTAIN OTHER MODERATORS ON HERE WHO ARE GRANTED DELEGATED POWERS BY LEO -- BUT I NEED TO PUT A FORK IN THIS JOURNAL ALREADY -- IT'S RUN ITS COURSE CLEARLY

     

  20. Posted · Edited by now is forever

    On 29.6.2018 at 2:46 PM, now is forever said:

    i like this one it‘s from a german movie, the girl is heike makatsch, i like the situation. it‘s like heidi from the alpes singing. in her green country bubble.

    i like joy denalane, too. she was part of the freundeskreis combo and married to the singer.

    it‘s everywhere the same, we have to overcome this. at least for ourself. as trees our roots run deep not always only in clear water but we all want the others to accept us. if we can accept ourself we can accept others - that’s what i learned from the friends i have here. we are all elephants that protect our herd. united in music sometimes. music is an elephant, berlin is one, home is an elephant. and future can be one, too.

    think for him the elephant is his heart for musik and he brings it back to its home, where it originally came from he sings what he does for it every day.

    i want to bring my heart back home. too.  ganesh is an elephant. this was about freedom all along.

    jan delay - forever and foryou

    i sing for you

    and i write for you

    i burn and i snow for you

    and i forget myself

    remind me/myself

    and that, only for you

    forever and foryou

    forever and foryou 

     

    i smile for you

    and i cry for you

    i rain and i shine for you

    and i

    relocate the whole world for you

    and everything just for you.

    for ever and for you

    forever and i.

     

    and i, and i say „for you“.

    and ever/always foryou

    it doesn’t matter how you call me

    it doesn’t matter where you crash tonight

    i have lied so often for you

    and i bow the rainbow

    for you

    and ever/always for you

    forever and i.

     

    i see for you

    and i feel for you

    i lie

    and i swear for you

    and i, and i

    catch the blue moon for you

     

    everything for you

    all of this is for you

    forever and for you

     

    and i, and i 

    say „for you“

    and ever/always for you

     

    it doesn’t matter how you call me

    it doesn’t matter where you crash tonight

    because i lied so often for you

    and i bow another rainbow for you

    just for you

    it‘s forever and i

    it‘s for forever and i

    it‘s for forever and for you.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  22. Posted · Edited by now is forever

     

    3 hours ago, kieranperez said:

    I don’t think I really made my question that clear. I think there miscommunication on my part on what I meant or misinterpretation. Either way, if this could be closed, that’d be awesome. 

    I wasn’t posing a debate on or trying to suggest that my ego has any sort of free will, which it seems that’s how it came off.

    you already gave the answer, yes and no. why shouldn’t your ego have free will? even if will is conditional/predetermined it can still reach a state of maximal freedom within boundaries and create momentum. just be sure that the boundaries are set by the higher self, not the other way round.

  24. Posted · Edited by now is forever

    16 minutes ago, tsuki said:

    She's writing more posts than she's hiding...
    (I think it's on purpose :ph34r:)

    i can hide this whole journal with one button click :) did you listen to alt-j

    the journal will not be the problem, the problem is the mycelium in the forum threads.

  25. Posted · Edited by now is forever

    24 minutes ago, Shin said:

    That's a really long time to leave

    9_9

    yeah, the problem is i can’t just delete it... i‘m attached to it so i‘d prefer it if someone else would do it but the only answer i got was the answer to mandy’s 666 question, something like: if you say so.

    but it was not an answer to my question it was an answer to play the devil in this case. that’s what he‘s doing he’s doing the devil (in denglish).