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About Tearos

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  • Birthday 06/25/2000

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  1. @Knowledge Hoarder I think I agree with sexual variety as a benefit, although I'm not entirely sure if this is my opinion yet. I suspect I might be ignorant of the potential consequences of attainment of sexual variety. In regards to becoming less judgemental and fearful or shy, I think this can be a benefit, especially to those who are overly judgemental and fearful/shy. But these individuals I suspect are aware of the possible "dangers" of this lifestyle, so the choice wouldn't necessarily be naive. For people who mindlessly choose this lifestyle and are ignorant of the potential consequences, I suspect are living naively - which I believe not to be good. I think it's a good idea to have standards of who you choose to engage with sexually. In a casual relationship, the selectivity process isn't really based on high standards in many cases. It's more like "I'm gonna sleep with any girl who is gonna be willing to sleep with me" I would also add another benefit, that people (at least men) can really experience higher levels of confidence through this lifestyle. I wouldn't argue that it's nothing to be recognized as an attractive mate to women. Sexual experience is probably also another benefit. For this point, I'm not entirely convinced that a liberal approach to sex is ideal. This is the reason I ask these questions. We have been through the "moralizing and conservative" phase, and have drawn the knowledge out of what is not acceptable in this approach. Now that we are going through this liberal approach, I'm trying to figure out if this is really a good idea or not. If it's not, I'm not sure it should stay anywhere in a strict sense. We have to draw the wisdom from the phase though. Yeah, I agree with this. This is why this discussion is pretty relevant today. Here's a thought: What if we are not able to deal with the responsibilities of sex? I think it's interesting that limiting sex has now moved across the political spectrum, as the right wanted sex to be more restrictive and arguing through religion, for instance. Now the left is also trying to limit sex, by trying to demand consent before engaging in sexual activities as a law.
  2. @Knowledge Hoarder Interesting. What kind of benefits are you referring to here? Also, I can't relate to the whole "society claiming that casual sex is a big no-no" statement you made. At least for where I live and have spent my whole life (Norway), casual hookups are very much standard practice. It's also expected by the culture here that you should approach sex as nothing more than bodily pleasure. At least for guys, and perhaps for girls as well. In my experience, it's expected that you use Tinder and should work to have many casual sex encounters in order to achieve social status. Romance is pretty much dead, and in many cases, something people cringe about. I've also heard some convincing arguments that people end up cynical and bitter in the long run by treating themselves as a casual partner, which of course does affect any serious relationship. I'm gonna guess the logic behind this is that you train yourself to view yourself as a casual partner, and you have to train yourself to become a serious partner in the aftermath. Probably not impossible to have stable and happy relationships in the future after a casual sex lifestyle, but I'm guessing that it perhaps is gonna be at least a bigger challenge.
  3. @Tortured Soul What are these different reasons you're referring to?
  4. @Knowledge Hoarder Perhaps that's true for a lot of people who suppress their sexuality or don't have many options for fulfilling their sexual needs. Do you think there are no dangers of causal sex? If yes, please explain in what way this seems to be the case for you.
  5. @aurum Spiral Dynamics tend to give me a new perspective on human behavior and societal evolution. Thanks man.
  6. @Roy I think I relate to almost everything you wrote. I'm glad to hear someone else having these kinds of thoughts - it makes it less lonely for me. The only thing I think would disagree with is the overpopulation statement you made. There are a few convincing arguments suggesting that our biggest challenge in some years will be that population increase will cease, rather than overpopulation.
  7. @somegirl I would disagree that there was no relationship going on. They may not have established the title "relationship" or even followed the rules within a relationship. But this is surely behavior that is bending the rules of what has traditionally been considered a relationship. It's the same as a relationship, just without any responsibility, and perhaps maturity about the reality of the situation.
  8. @Federico del pueblo Well, perhaps as some kind of weird psychological mechanism which I don't understand. But I've gathered that fatherlessness predicts teenage pregnancy. My take on this data is that these girls have a need for a masculine figure in their life, which oftentimes results in teenage pregnancy. I've pondered around this idea a lot, and it takes off the responsibility from myself. But agree that women are responsible for their own actions. On the happiness element of this argument, I would say I partially agree. This is because you obviously need women in order to fulfill your sexual need. If you go with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, your most fundamental needs must be met in order to fulfill further needs. All in all, the sex which you need a partner for, is an element of your happiness. This again, I would argue is not really living up to the "causal" part of the idea of casual sex. Once you show some care, you're investing more care and emotion than what the idea of casual sex demands you.
  9. @somegirl Yes, I agree with this. At least this is my opinion temporarily. The "statistics" don't really seem to support any life-long contentment with this lifestyle.
  10. @somegirl It's a given because the idea of casual sex is about only sex without any motivation to be a decent person. I'm guessing that's why it's regarded as casual. Also, I didn't suggest that any relationship was the goal of treating the other with care. Just that treating the other with care, you instantly begin manifesting yourself as less causal.
  11. @Federico del pueblo That's an interesting view. I would say that I have in my past attempted to suppress care towards the other with a mindset, allowing me to see them merely as casual sex-"object". I don't know if this accounts for me personally, but this suppression has never really been executed perfectly on my part. I think I always sensed that I was deliberatively fooling myself into a mindset in order to be able to act on the orders of my body. I've been hypothesizing that this mindset might be the same mechanism soldiers learn in military school in order to kill. I guess this mindset allows them to perceive others as non-humans in some regard. It's easier to kill, I would suspect. Interestingly, many soldiers go through PTSD as a result of their trauma by their own evil actions in battle
  12. @somegirl Yes, but that contradicts the idea of the sex being casual, I think. As soon as you treat the other with care (by asking about them), they instantly turn into a non-causal partner in my estimation. How do you reconcile this contradiction?
  13. What views do you guys have on casual sex? All opinions are welcome here - both grey and black-and-white views. Do you guys think the danger or harmlessness of casual sex is underestimated in today's western society? If you'd like, I would like you to also offer your perspective on the personal level and/or societal levels. Follow-up questions: If harmless - what do you think is the best strategy to achieve it? If dangerous - what do you think is the best alternative?
  14. @Forestluv Do you have any answers to these questions?
  15. @Thestarguitarist14 Do you have any methods, techniques, or advice on how to meet my needs on my own that one conventionally needs another person to meet? So far, some people here have advised meditation, journaling, and sharing thoughts and feeling with close ones.