Tearos

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About Tearos

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  • Birthday 06/25/2000

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  • Location
    Oslo
  • Gender
    Male

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  1. @Forestluv Do you have any answers to these questions?
  2. @Thestarguitarist14 Do you have any methods, techniques, or advice on how to meet my needs on my own that one conventionally needs another person to meet? So far, some people here have advised meditation, journaling, and sharing thoughts and feeling with close ones.
  3. @susanyzm Thank you for your response and for sharing your perspective. I wouldn't say I've experienced relationships that haven't met my needs, rather the opposite. The relationships I've had have met my needs, needs that I have failed to meet on my own, which has resulted in lovesickness - the state in which I felt something was missing in my life when my partner was not around anymore. When they were gone for good, it left a giant empty space within me, something essential wasn't there anymore. I don't disagree about the benefits of relationships at all, nevertheless, I believe that it is not a healthy relationship if I am dependent on the other for my needs to be fulfilled. In my opinion, a healthy relationship should consist of two whole people, not two halves making a whole. It isn't a pleasure to need someone else, because you live in constant fear that you will lose them. I believe the secret to a good relationship is loving properly - which is not giving your love to another, rather sharing your love with another. If you give it away, you will lose it. When you share it, it's still within you. Thank you for your advice about journaling and sharing thoughts and feeling with closed ones! I have recently decided to start the habit of journaling every day. So far, it really helps to clear up my thoughts.
  4. @UDT Thanks for the response! It's more coming from the perspective that one can ideally meet their own needs without being dependent on others to fulfill them. For example, a monk living in celibate must somehow be able to fulfill his needs for intimacy in order to be happy, however, he won't be able to through other people due to his celibacy. He is still happy though. Additionally, I think the ideal relationship one can have with others shouldn't be based on being dependent on a partner fulfilling one's needs and making them whole. Rather I would think that already being whole, and the gifts of any relationship would become a bonus to one's life. Then there would be a lesser chance of any issues, such as neediness and codependency. Already having had my share of experiencing deep intimate relationships, though with dependency of others to be happy, I'm looking for ways to fulfill my needs on my own which will lead to richer and more healthy relationships in the future. Thank you for the advice of expanding my consciousness! I agree that it will help out in the long run, which is why I meditate, though I do find it hard to fulfill needs in everyday life.
  5. So lately I've been trying to figure out how one could be able to meet their own needs without being dependent on someone else to meet them (needs that conventionally requires other people in order to be met). For example, how do you meet your need for intimacy without being dependent on someone else to fulfill that particular need? In this case, already fulfilling this need on your own, any intimacy with another would be a bonus to your life. Questioning this, I am also taking into account of maintaining high self-esteem and dodging addictions. Here an example would be: How does one meet their sexual needs without being dependent on sleeping with others, and avoiding an addiction for masturbation (and porn)? Any insights and practical techniques out there? Thanks!
  6. Hey guys! I've been thinking about this question for some time now: How would the world look like if everyone were pursuing their Life Purpose? Would this even be realistic? If so, who would be taking over the shitty jobs out there - for example being a cleaner? What are your thoughts about this? Thanks! Tearos/Fred
  7. @Key Elements @Leo Gura Do you guys have any suggestions to how we could implement contemplation into the education system, and what that could result in?
  8. @tsuki I've been thinking about the posibilities of implementing contemplation into the school system. Would there be an opportunity to use the contemplation in this system which would lead the students to overall better well-being, do you think? I'm asking myself how that would work then, since it would be hard to know if the students are on the right track or not if there isn't a common truth to be found.
  9. Hey guys, I've been wondering about this question about contemplation/reflection for quite some time now: Does contemplation/reflection in its nature lead to same conclusion as Truth? Example: If both my friend and I contemplate on the same topic, will we both naturally at some point go to the same conclusions which would be the Truth? I'm excited to see what your thoughts are on this! Thanks, Tearos/Fred
  10. @Consept The reason I would think it is an Ego backlash is because the Ego contructed the idea (what it thinks it should be) that we belong together in a sense. Therefore, once the rejection was verified, the realization of truth created the reactional backlash. Additionally, my Ego probably holds the dogmas such as that there must be meanings like worth in me etc; therefore it creates even more stories in my head once the rejection from the girl shows otherwise. In other words, because of her rejection, my mind creates symbols about this situation, interpreting it into stories that tells me I am worthless rather than that I have worth. Help me out if I'm out of track
  11. @Wyze @Wyze Thank you for providing me this advice!
  12. @ElenaO I think your experience relates a lot with mine. Because of the attachment to the ideal perfection the girl I fell for entails, I therefore think it is an Ego backlash towards the break of my idea of our fictional relationship once I was rejected, meaning break of my Ego's way of seeing reality - leading to all these reactions.
  13. I'm currently experiencing some sort of heartbreak or lovesickness which has created a strong painful feeling within my body. Fortunately, I have come to a point in the level of meditation that I am not being a victim of the situation, but rather just experiencing it (and even kind of enjoying it) because I am working on falling in love with all kinds of feelings, regardless of the "pain" that emerges. So what this means is that I am not trying to dismiss these "negative" feelings, rather embracing them fully. Interestingly, I also found that what does not really hurt that much is not being able to be with the person I am fond of, however, the feelings react to the thoughts produced by my low level of self-love, or bad self-esteem - which contains "someone" telling me I'm worthless, etc. However, I have been questioning the ramifications of the event in which caused this emotional reaction. Do any of you have an idea about the "science" behind the reaction? My current theory is that I strongly react to the event because I have identified with a lot of ideas and feelings (by the way, in a very short amount of time), therefore not being able to be with this person creates an Ego backlash within me. A more detailed description, example-wise, could be that the person made me forget all the self-destructive thoughts about myself because I was submerged in the beauty of her whole existence, once we spent time together. However, I have always have had bad self-esteem, telling me that I am not good enough for anyone and that no one wants me. Therefore, once we are split up (which didn't really have anything to do with her not thinking I was good enough) made me experience thoughts about she not thinking I am not good enough, promoting suicidal tendencies. IF YOU WANT TO SAVE TIME AND SKIP THE BACKGROUND STORY ABOVE AND MOVE STRAIGHT TO THE POINT: A more direct question would be: Do you think that heartbreak is just an Ego backlash? I am curious to try out other theories, so please leave a comment to help me understand myself. Tearos/Fred
  14. I'm currently experiencing some sort of heartbreak or lovesickness which has created a strong painful feeling within my body. Fortunately, I have come to a point in the level of meditation that I am not being a victim of the situation, but rather just experiencing it (and even kind of enjoying it) because I am working on falling in love with all kinds of feelings, regardless of the "pain" that emerges. So what this means is that I am not trying to dismiss these "negative" feelings, rather embracing them fully. Interestingly, I also found that what does not really hurt that much is not being able to be with the person I am fond of, however, the feelings react to the thoughts produced by my low level of self-love, or bad self-esteem - which contains "someone" telling me I'm worthless, etc. However, I have been questioning the ramifications of the event in which caused this emotional reaction. Do any of you have an idea about the "science" behind the reaction? My current theory is that I strongly react to the event because I have identified with a lot of ideas and feelings (by the way, in a very short amount of time), therefore not being able to be with this person creates an Ego backlash within me. A more detailed description, example-wise, could be that the person made me forget all the self-destructive thoughts about myself because I was submerged in the beauty of her whole existence, once we spent time together. However, I have always have had bad self-esteem, telling me that I am not good enough for anyone and that no one wants me. Therefore, once we are split up (which didn't really have anything to do with her not thinking I was good enough) made me experience thoughts about she not thinking I am not good enough, promoting suicidal tendencies. IF YOU WANT TO SAVE TIME AND SKIP THE BACKGROUND STORY ABOVE AND MOVE STRAIGHT TO THE POINT: A more direct question would be: Do you think that heartbreak is just an Ego backlash? I am curious to try out other theories, so please leave a comment to help me understand myself. Tearos/Fred