A little confused

[TheSelf]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Frankly, all this is too much investment into a girl who doesn't care about you.

The real solution here is to go talk to 100 other girls and forget about this one. Don't chase girls who don't return your interest.

Yeah, I guess I just have to move on, still not sure, but it was a good experience and learned bunch of stuff.

Edited March 5 by m0hsen

[TheSelf]

42 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@m0hsen  making an opening you could be like flirting or whatever and eating ice cream, then you use ice cream for a kiss like saying:this one is a tasty ice cream  wonder how it would taste it on your lips  would it taste even better....by setting it up the mood

Damn, this was good, haha, any other ideas like this? 

Very interesting

 

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

1 hour ago, m0hsen said:

I gotta admit that what you described is not me yet

It doesn't have to be. You have to figure out what works to you after all. I'm just talking from my own experience, but maybe you're trying to attract a different kind of woman. Play around with different things and see what sticks for you. 

[TheSelf]

@DefinitelyNotARobot so I'm just thinking about what you and @NoSelfSelfsaid and analysing the whole scenario

Maybe i just acted too logical here, as Leo said, girls are girls, often illogical and confused,

Im thinking that maybe whatever happened between us it was all my responsibility, if I was just acted a little different, removed the seriousness of the situation it could've gone differently right?

[NoSelfSelf]

@m0hsen Thing is you must create your own positionings when you figure out how it works.

It could be about 1.showing why she should be with you 2.Ways to miss you by how you make her feel 3.To trigger parts in her, trigger things in her to tell you about herself.

Lets use positioning to think about you.

So she is drinking her favourite drink now you tell her:every time you take a sip i want you to savour that taste for the time we kiss ,to have me with the drink because i know that drink means to you. Im writing this on a fly but it has to fit it to other things(and so you not use this lines because it has to be your own lines),point is that you make her think about kiss with you every time she takes a sip and when you are not there when she drinks the same drink she will think about you and the kiss you had that night.

 

 

Edited March 5 by NoSelfSelf

[NoSelfSelf]

@m0hsen you act like you want to act based on who you want to be and where you want to lead yourself and in this context the woman,so you dont look at her reactions as much as what you need to be doing to be better at what your game you want to have.Now she owns spaces in your mind vs you for example positioning i gave you in her mind.But shes not ready for dating atm it seems.

Edited March 5 by NoSelfSelf

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

9 hours ago, m0hsen said:

Maybe i just acted too logical here, as Leo said, girls are girls, often illogical and confused,

It's not necessarily that they're confused, but expect most women to be flimsy unless they're inherently attracted to you. You have to understand that a lot of men are fighting for their attention. Ask yourself: What would make her want to pay attention to you, more than these other guys, or herself? This brings the topic back to FEELING. It's about making her FEEL something other men don't make her feel (from her pov).

Doing inner work is important here. You have to be able to feel yourself, before you can let her feel you properly. If you're ashamed of your sexual attraction for example, you might intuitively suppress this part of yourself during your dates and give off a "nice guy" kind of vibe. Going on dates and getting to meet women can act as a good mirror into your subconscious in that way. Ask yourself before your dates: "What can I learn about myself today?". You might actually be surprised at the answers the universe can throw at you.

Getting into a state of flow and being able to enjoy YOURSELF around a woman is crucial. It's about sharing what you've already got for yourself. When you ask for something, like a date, you kind of imply that you need something from her. What is it that you need in that moment? What keeps you from simply sharing? What if you instead just said: "Let's go to X on Friday at Y o' clock."? What would the vibe then be?

Again, it's all about the inner work. You can put up a charade of being a certain kind of person only for so long. This is something that you can't understand intellectually. It has to be FELT with your whole being. If you simply repeated what I told you and said "Let's go out on Friday" the next time, it would be important to be mindful of whether you simply did it out of intellectual knowledge or if you did it because these words ACTUALLY resonated with you and made you think about yourself and the situation differently. This understanding should feel like a direct shift in your conscious experience of the world.

Edited March 5 by DefinitelyNotARobot

[Princess Arabia]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I gave them space and it worked well.

If it worked well, where are they now. Well, the last one, since the first one didn't work too well, hence the second one. I don't know if people break up because things are going well. You don't have to answer, since my question is rhetoric and I don't want to pry into your affairs. 

[Princess Arabia]

9 hours ago, m0hsen said:

@DefinitelyNotARobot so I'm just thinking about what you and @NoSelfSelfsaid and analysing the whole scenario

Maybe i just acted too logical here, as Leo said, girls are girls, often illogical and confused,

Im thinking that maybe whatever happened between us it was all my responsibility, if I was just acted a little different, removed the seriousness of the situation it could've gone differently right?

Be careful here, sometimes we just want somebody back to make things right within ourselves. To rewrite the story and then move on. Don't fall into that trap. Saying "it might have been ALL your responsibility" and "IF you just acted a little different', is an indication of this mindset. No, everything worked perfectly to reveal to you whatever it did. There's no if you had acted this way or that way. If, is not Reality. You were both responsible. Takes two to tango. Guilt is very destructive.

[TheSelf]

48 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Be careful here, sometimes we just want somebody back to make things right within ourselves. To rewrite the story and then move on. Don't fall into that trap. Saying "it might have been ALL your responsibility" and "IF you just acted a little different', is an indication of this mindset. No, everything worked perfectly to reveal to you whatever it did. There's no if you had acted this way or that way. If, is not Reality. You were both responsible. Takes two to tango. Guilt is very destructive.

Well, you might be right also, btw I'm not feeling guilty or whatsoever

But I'm just developing different view on this as I'm growing in my dating life and trying to understand better how women works

She is just a girl, if she thought she were ready and at some point later felt different, it's my responsibility, not hers

How she feels around me is hundred percent my responsibility, 

As a guy I should've make specific strategic moves to manage everything better.

Im just learning here, I don't have any negative feelings at all.

Edited March 5 by m0hsen

[TheSelf]

@DefinitelyNotARobot you make a lot of sense to me, I appreciate you sharing all this man, thank you!

[TheSelf]

10 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@m0hsen shes not ready for dating atm it seems.

I thought about this and came to conclusion that this uncertainty in her mind was my job to fix.

Maybe I'm developing a bit too manipulative believes or view on this I don't know.

But the difference between being ready or not was just a thought, i couldn't manage to let her inner emotions about me rise high enough to help her overcome uncertainties or negative thoughts she had about pursuing a new relationship.

I'm still understanding it so maybe I'm wrong or maybe not.

 

Edited March 5 by m0hsen

[NoSelfSelf]

@m0hsen I like how you think about, its your job to make things happen thats great,but not in a way of self pity but in a way i want to be better for myself,like someone with game if things went way too smooth would even hate it,because he didnt learn nothing new about himself, but in 99% of cases this is 1% case when someones not really himself,ofcourse you could have done way better,but its not you doing things to her to raise emotions(wrong way to think,thats manipulation) you can only position yourself like i said, so she with her own judgment comes to conclusion hey im ready right now, this is the guy that i never seen(thats your lack of game,takes alot of time to master so dont have high expectation to be someone for someone),but thats healthy person you wouldnt want someone who just jumps from one relationship to another like its nothing, i hope...

Im bad at examples but take it like an addict needing to take things out of their system before being themselves fully.

You want her too much vs wanting yourself this will haunt you in dating game.

Edited March 5 by NoSelfSelf

[meta_male]

On 4.3.2024 at 8:52 PM, m0hsen said:

So did I make a good decision to move on?

Yes.

[Princess Arabia]

16 hours ago, m0hsen said:

How she feels around me is hundred percent my responsibility, 

You're not responsible for how someone feels. It's impossible. You can only feel responsible, but you are not physically responsible. You cannot go inside someone's mind to activate the feeling response. They are doing it themselves, or I should say the body's response mechanism is responsible for this. It is a very sophisticated process that not even the feeler can control if they aren't mindful. It's a process. Thought is prior to feeling. Can you control WHAT a person thinks? No. How a person feels will depend on the thought that proceeded. 

 

16 hours ago, m0hsen said:

As a guy I should've make specific strategic moves to manage everything better.

You are putting too much responsibility on yourself for how things turn out. Your job is to be conscious of how you respond to how things turn out. Yes, we can strategize, but your strategies can only go so far when dealing with another person, especially if you don't know them well because people are always RESPONDING to, not responding because of.