Second N,N DMT Fumarate trip report (Detailed)

[woohoo123]

Intro

This is my second trip on N,N DMT fumarate taken orally 150mg with MAOI. TLDR:- scroll down to bottom for the juicy bits (last 2 sections).

I reduced the dose this time as I was in way too deep last time. Even though I reduced the dose I felt like I got a deeper trip (probably because was not as powerful).

I had this naive mindset of there will be an ‘AHA!’ moment where I suddenly realize oneness (as per my first trip). This came on much slower and gradual, but not in the form of ‘AHA!’ I can’t pinpoint exactly when I got to ‘oneness’, it was a gradual process which occurred naturally as the psychedelics took hold.

Note to self to not let any of my friends or relatives take DMT unless they have watched Leo’s videos and done some work. I think it can be quite dangerous (I had quite a few suicidal thoughts on this, which I am still a bit shaken up by - scroll down to collapse of reality below).

For this trip I wanted to contemplate on:

• Is reality infinite? (see collapsing duality section at end)
• Is reality really imaginary? (see ‘collapse of reality and imagination’ section)

I didn’t quite know how to approach this. I read in Conversations From God you assume the state you want to take. So I was thinking, do I need to pretend I already know and then that will influence the trip? In the end somehow I think setting the intention was enough. If anyone has any tips on this be much appreciated. 

Trip Report

30 mins

Visuals start. I actually saw similar visuals to my first trip. Purple fractal patterns overlaid on stuff and crystalline reflective surfaces shimmering through everything. It is only light visuals at this point. Love starts building. Love literally starts coming in on waves, like pulses from within my body. I get tingling sensations in my arms.

60 mins

Visuals are light, still feeling good, feeling love, feeling good. I still have good motor control and can go to the toilet and walk about etc. 

Insight: The voice in your head is like a sports commentator commenting on the match. They don’t actually affect the play but like to pretend they do. The voice in your head is literally just commentary. It claims it does things, but really those things have already been decided prior to it saying so (so it doesn’t actually do anything). After something happens, it tells you how to feel (based on your beliefs). So don’t pay it too much attention, it kind of just entertains itself. The entire play is in God’s hands, but the voice in your head likes to take ownership of stuff and say ‘I did that!’, ‘that was me!’. That voice doesn’t actually have any ‘power’ of its own, it's just commentary on stuff that has already happened or emotions you’ve already felt. This is how it establishes itself. The only ‘power’ or authority it has is the one you give it (using imagination). 

My breathing feels very powerful and wholesome. With every breath it feels like I’m drawing in life energy and it feels wonderful. I close my eyes to focus on how good it feels just to breathe! 

I have this imagery that every exhale I am creating artwork. Like a blue saber-tooth tiger painting, or a giraffe, I feel like I am breathing life itself.  

Insight: I notice logic doesn't ‘feel’ right here. I was asking myself, how can I feel this love, when in my sober state? What thought or takeaway can I use to induce myself to feel this love in my sober state? I would like to live from here. But that's when I realized - love is prior to thinking. Notice you cannot feel love by thinking yourself into it. You cannot love cancer by thinking ‘yes love this cancer yessss send it love’. Rather love just is, it is prior to thought. So focus on being love, not thinking/manipulating yourself into it. Only the mind operates in logic on ‘why’ something is beautiful, or ‘how’ to do something. Love and beauty just is (so just be that).

90 mins

I am having visuals but they are not intense or warpy. I am sat upright, looking out my window, playing music, hands behind my head just enjoying it. It’s not like the whole room is bending (like my first trip) but rather I focus on a few objects and they dance around a bit. 

I start to have thoughts like:

‘I am eternal
I am everyone
All is well
All is beautiful 
All is good
I am God, sat here basking in his own glory
Gods exploration of itself is just never ending beauty and majesty 
Whatever you can imagine it’s all here 
Ask and it will be shown 
Nothing is off the table here
You are the one making this
And you can change it into whatever you want
Your fear response, surrender it. 
If you are to be afraid then be afraid, but remember nothing can really hurt you’

I liked that, just being God, sat there and chilling the fuck out. Admiring the richness and beauty of random objects in my room. 

Then I feel an urge to close my eyes and let go. Go deeper and deeper. 

I get visuals as I close my eyes. These visuals are not happening randomly. Actually I seem able to influence them with my mind. I become aware of creating the visuals (to some degree)

Insight: When I shut my eyes and saw all the visuals. I realized that actually you don’t need ‘vision’ to ‘see’. It’s all imagination. 

120 mins (peak)

In my last trip, all I mostly just remember was the awakening experience, but I forgot the part which followed afterwards, which was an intense mindfuck. I thought the above passage was the peak and I would start coming down…. boy was I wrong….

Ok… so this is where the REAL trip begins. From here until the winddown I am not able to write. The visuals become intense so I lie down. Here I am re-calling what I remember during this phase

Insight: On the topic of infinity. There are no limits. Only the limits I create and I imagine. I define my own limits. You want to go ‘up’? Sure, we can go up, and keep going up as much as we like - there is no ceiling (unless you want there to be). The Universe is making this up as we are going along.

I am having an orgasm with myself. This is a pretty crazy, multi-sensory experience. It’s like the feeling of my breath in my lungs, the soft pillow/blankets around me, the feel of bedsheets under my body, combined with multi-dimensional DMT visuals, being teleported out of this world and ‘I AM’ all mixed together. No words or descriptions can quite describe it. It felt good though. 

Even as I am writing this, I know I will forget what this part of the experience was like (until I experience it again and will be like oh boy here we go again…). For future reference though for me this is where the ‘real’ trip happens. This experience is pretty alien, it was like becoming a multi-dimensional being, although these words are pretty meaningless compared to what it was actually like.

Maybe just remember in future this is an important and significant part of the trip (so don’t go off topping off on more DMT until you reach this point, this is the intense bit!).

I was trying my best to ‘control’ the trip by calming myself and focusing on something. But then I realized:

Insight: Doing and not doing are the same thing
I can try or I can not try, there is no difference
Who is there to try anything against, but myself?
Who is there to do the doing, but myself?
Inside and outside are the same. Inside becomes outside and vice versa. I am inside and outside all at once. 

Collapse of reality and imagination

I became very aware of the temperature of my breath. The feeling was like having a blanket put over my face and was suffocating me. I was like shit, ok let me check reality real quick to make sure I am safe.

This is where it gets a bit disturbing though. If I focus, there is an instant where I flash back to my bedroom and I am laying down, perfectly safe, no blanket over my face or anything. But then it hit me - How do I know this is actually reality? At that moment I realized I did not know what reality was. 

Reality and imagination are the same thing. 

This is a very serious situation, I open my eyes and focus. I see I am in my room. 
I close my eyes and I am in hyperspace. So where actually am I?
What is reality? Which one is real? 
I don’t know, one is not more valid than the other.

At this moment there was no difference. It was a bit scary because there was no single ‘reality’ I could check to see if I was actually being suffocated or not.
Like I can see myself in my bed in my room, but is that reality or imagination?
The vision of me being in a bedroom had no more authority than the ‘other reality’ of being in hyperspace. 

I kept trying to remind myself I am safe in this bed. Yet at the same time, I was aware I am not really in this bed.
There is no real ‘safety’ net because I am creating my own safety with my thoughts!
I can’t say ‘Don’t worry bro, you’re safe in bed just wait it out’, that's only true because I imagine it to be so! 

There is no ‘outside’ safe physical reality supporting me as a fall back on this trip. This trip and physical reality are one and the same. This trip IS reality. 

Insight: There is no difference between reality and imagination, they are the same. Living and dying are also the same (I don’t fully understand this last one but I have it written down, I think it was because I realized if there is no ‘reality’ then there is no such thing as ‘dying in reality’).

It is pretty funny (although it did not feel funny at the time) because here I am having a full body multisensory orgasm, whilst at the same time trying to stay alive, whilst at the same time trying to figure out what reality is. 

I was aware I could choose to bite off my tongue at any moment.
I was aware I could choose to clench my jaw and just break all my teeth.
I was aware just choose to hold my breath and end it all right here.
I was aware I could choose to imagine my death and it would be so.

There was no safe physical reality ‘supporting’ this experience, because everything is imagination.

Reality is groundless. If I see myself jumping off a building, I can’t tell if that is just me imagining things, or if I am really jumping off a building.
Those two things are exactly the same.

Trip Sitter?

Disclaimer: I am not advocating against trip sitters, just trying to convey perspective from the trip. Same with logic at bottom.

I was thinking hmm maybe I should've had a trip sitter? But then I realized the folly in this. 

A trip sitter could not stop me from killing myself (I am not talking from the physical perspective here). 

Because who is the trip sitter but me? 

How can me (trip sitter), stop me (Universe), from killing myself if I choose to do so?

The trip sitter is part of this fucking crazy multi-dimensional experience I am having. To fall back on having a trip sitter protect you is to say there is a physical external reality where this experience is taking place. But for me physical reality had collapsed, what I was experiencing was all there is and the trip sitter cannot exist outside or 'step in' to intervene with that. 

Whether I choose to live or die is up to me (the Universe) not the tripsitter (which is of course still just me). Ie. There is no difference between having a trip sitter and not having a trip sitter (I am not defending this from a physical standpoint, just relaying what I was experiencing). 

The trip sitter is not separate or distinct from my experience. Ultimately there is only one consciousness which decides whether I live or die and that is me (the Universe).

Insight: Even logic and critical thinking, are figments of this imagination. They are not like a ‘base platform’ from which I can use to analyze this psychedelic experience. Because they are imagined as part of this consciousness. So trying to use logic and critical thinking to analyze psychedelic experiences makes no sense, because these are not independent states that exist objectively outside consciousness. They are part of consciousness itself. So be wary when you’re trying to pass this up as ‘chemicals in the brain’ or some ‘drug induced effect’. This is only true when you treat logic/physical reality as something outside the psychedelic experience (which is not how it actually is, but you may need psychedelics to see that).  

 

Collapsing of duality/Infinity is both things at once/paradox

This was written by me as I was winding down and able to type again (I have corrected the English to make it more readable).

Being self and other simultaneously

'I am coming down now
Good I can finally make some fucking sense
Infinity can do all things at once
It is not this or that, it is everything all at once 

Do you recognize psychedelics are no trick?
I recognize this is an experience brought about by using a drug
But also I recognize this goes beyond the drug you see? 
It’s both things at once 

Be wary of saying it’s just a drug (you will be missing the other part of it)
Because that is a linear type of thinking, that is the human hat on 
I am human, yet I transcend humanity 
It is both at once

There is no one to argue, no one to convince but myself
Yet as I am typing this, I am doing so to share with ‘other’ as a trip report
I recognize I am creating others
So I am by myself, yet I am not, you see? 

I imagine others and I imagine myself
I imagine typing this up on the actualized forum, yet at the same time I recognize there is no forum
I imagine others reading this, yet I recognize I am those others and yet I am ‘not’ at the same time

I recognize I am all alone and I am sovereign
But at the same time I make an effort to write these notes to share with others 
It’s everything all at once. I am self and other at the same time 

There is only one consciousness

There is no difference between ‘higher’ and ‘lower’ consciousness. Both of these are just me expressed in different ways. 

Even as I am typing
I am trying to be conscious of
What ‘filter’ I am putting on to put this message through
Is this message being corrupted by my ego?
But at the same time I recognize there is no difference between having a filter and not having a filter, it's both the same fundamentally. 

You see, is this a filter or not? 
Is this ego speaking or not? 
Is this a universal message or not? 

Realize there is no distinction. There is no difference. 

The filter speaking is the Universe speaking
The ego filter is the Universe
All messages are the Universal message

Yet at the same time, I acknowledge a healthy respect that one must be careful what they say. 
I am so unlimited I could tell everyone to go on a murdering spree, yet I do not, why? 
Because I am both things at once and I respect both

When I was writhing in ecstasy back there, I realized I could choose to kill myself at any moment 
All it would take is a simple decision. 
Yet I did not, why?
Because I respected my own will to live in physical reality
I am limitless, beyond death, yet at the same time I respect my own boundaries (even if they are ‘human’)

Notice you have an idea of ‘levels’ of consciousness, you would say ‘I AM’ is higher consciousness and human consciousness is ‘lower’ consciousness.
But really it's all the same consciousness. 
Both of these are expressions of me, so in essence they are the same. 

So while we say ok you’re not as woke as this guy, or there are levels to it…
Yes there are levels, but there are no levels at the same time see? 
There are levels but at the same time it’s all the same…..

We demonize human consciousness,  but what is human consciousness but me? 
We imagine there are levels to awakening (which there are) yet at the same time there are none
All awakening and non-awakening is all just me (the Universe)

Notice if I am writing this from a ‘sober’/logical state you will not take my words as seriously, I need to convince you that you are in touch with some ‘higher power’ for you to label it mystical
But you see higher or lower consciousness, is it all the same consciousness 
These levels are imaginary. 

Being ‘non-woke’ is not any different from being ‘woke’ it’s just a different expression.
It’s always just me expressing myself with complete sovereignty at all times.

Even the times when you feel vulnerable, human and weak, this is still me expressing myself with complete sovereignty. You never escape me.
It is always an expression of me

I am that tiny, limited, fragile human cowering in fear, and I am the unbounded alien multidimensional ‘monster’ which scares you
I am both things at once

So on some level I am glad of awakening, but on another level I realize I never really needed it. Because there is nothing to escape from, there is nothing to awaken to, it was all just me. But even before awakening it was all just me also… so it’s kind of funny both things at once

There is only ever one consciousness, it’s all the same

That consciousness can express itself in many ways, sometimes it is correct, sometimes not (who is judging?) but it is always the same consciousness at all times just expressing itself in different forms

The thing you call mundane I appreciate really is mundane (I know I am you) but at the same time don’t think that is any less spiritual or different from being in fucking hyperspace. It’s all the same consciousness.  

End

Thanks for reading everyone 

Edited February 18 by woohoo123

[Leo Gura]

Good work!

[Creatorbeing]

I have a question..

How to feel love prior to thinking, what does that mean?

[Creatorbeing]

I wish to know....

I thought emotion comes after thought 

They don't exist in vacuum 

[Creatorbeing]

How can love an emotion comes before thought

[Creatorbeing]

https://m.facebook.com/NealeDonaldWalsch/posts/what-is-the-only-thing-that-matters-follow-the-search-for-that-answer-herebook-e/10151191302047344/

What do you think of this info about emotions...is it....accurate 

[woohoo123]

1 hour ago, Creatorbeing said:

I have a question..

How to feel love prior to thinking, what does that mean?

The context for that was thinking how can i bring this love I was feeling into my ‘normal’ state? I was looking for a trick or a mental hack I could use to induce the ‘loving’ state when I don’t actually feel very loving. But what this meant was love isn’t found in the structures of the mind. 

Like when you hear beautiful music, you feel it is beautiful, but then your mind can analyse why it is beautiful, but that analysis never really captures the real essence of its beauty. 

In the same way, if I were to try and use some mental mantra to manipulate my base state into feeling this love, I can be so focused on the mantra and trying to get it to work I am missing the very essence of the love I want to express. So love comes first as it is an immediate state of being, before thinking about it.  

So if you want to be more loving, you can just ‘be‘ loving, without any justification or thought attached to it. But if you think I ‘should’ feel loving, or I ‘want’ to be more loving without actually feeling love first, then you’re left with your mental tools/hacks to force yourself into a state of love, which will not be genuine nor will it work. 

Depending on the circumstance, if your intention to become more loving is actually sincere and heartfelt, this can be a foundation to foster more love. But notice that does not happen in the mind. Notice you cannot just ‘decide’ to be sincere, when you truly don’t already feel sincere. Your honest sincerity to become more loving, is already putting you in a loving state (so you are already feeling love by being sincere which is what this is trying to convey). Similarly, if you think I ‘want’ to feel more love, (when really you feel hate or disgust) acknowledging your real feelings will help release resistance to that and open the opportunity for more love. This is because by being authentic this is again creating a state of love.

So be love (there are many forms and degrees) and you will feel more loving. Rather than try to mechanically guilt trip yourself into it with thinking alone (when you’re not actually feeling very loving)

Edited February 19 by woohoo123

[Yimpa]

Woo-Hoo!

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

20 hours ago, woohoo123 said:

Intro

This is my second trip on N,N DMT fumarate taken orally 150mg with MAOI. TLDR:- scroll down to bottom for the juicy bits (last 2 sections).

I reduced the dose this time as I was in way too deep last time. Even though I reduced the dose I felt like I got a deeper trip (probably because was not as powerful).

I had this naive mindset of there will be an ‘AHA!’ moment where I suddenly realize oneness (as per my first trip). This came on much slower and gradual, but not in the form of ‘AHA!’ I can’t pinpoint exactly when I got to ‘oneness’, it was a gradual process which occurred naturally as the psychedelics took hold.

Note to self to not let any of my friends or relatives take DMT unless they have watched Leo’s videos and done some work. I think it can be quite dangerous (I had quite a few suicidal thoughts on this, which I am still a bit shaken up by - scroll down to collapse of reality below).

For this trip I wanted to contemplate on:

• Is reality infinite? (see collapsing duality section at end)
• Is reality really imaginary? (see ‘collapse of reality and imagination’ section)

I didn’t quite know how to approach this. I read in Conversations From God you assume the state you want to take. So I was thinking, do I need to pretend I already know and then that will influence the trip? In the end somehow I think setting the intention was enough. If anyone has any tips on this be much appreciated. 

Trip Report

30 mins

Visuals start. I actually saw similar visuals to my first trip. Purple fractal patterns overlaid on stuff and crystalline reflective surfaces shimmering through everything. It is only light visuals at this point. Love starts building. Love literally starts coming in on waves, like pulses from within my body. I get tingling sensations in my arms.

60 mins

Visuals are light, still feeling good, feeling love, feeling good. I still have good motor control and can go to the toilet and walk about etc. 

Insight: The voice in your head is like a sports commentator commenting on the match. They don’t actually affect the play but like to pretend they do. The voice in your head is literally just commentary. It claims it does things, but really those things have already been decided prior to it saying so (so it doesn’t actually do anything). After something happens, it tells you how to feel (based on your beliefs). So don’t pay it too much attention, it kind of just entertains itself. The entire play is in God’s hands, but the voice in your head likes to take ownership of stuff and say ‘I did that!’, ‘that was me!’. That voice doesn’t actually have any ‘power’ of its own, it's just commentary on stuff that has already happened or emotions you’ve already felt. This is how it establishes itself. The only ‘power’ or authority it has is the one you give it (using imagination). 

My breathing feels very powerful and wholesome. With every breath it feels like I’m drawing in life energy and it feels wonderful. I close my eyes to focus on how good it feels just to breathe! 

I have this imagery that every exhale I am creating artwork. Like a blue saber-tooth tiger painting, or a giraffe, I feel like I am breathing life itself.  

Insight: I notice logic doesn't ‘feel’ right here. I was asking myself, how can I feel this love, when in my sober state? What thought or takeaway can I use to induce myself to feel this love in my sober state? I would like to live from here. But that's when I realized - love is prior to thinking. Notice you cannot feel love by thinking yourself into it. You cannot love cancer by thinking ‘yes love this cancer yessss send it love’. Rather love just is, it is prior to thought. So focus on being love, not thinking/manipulating yourself into it. Only the mind operates in logic on ‘why’ something is beautiful, or ‘how’ to do something. Love and beauty just is (so just be that).

90 mins

I am having visuals but they are not intense or warpy. I am sat upright, looking out my window, playing music, hands behind my head just enjoying it. It’s not like the whole room is bending (like my first trip) but rather I focus on a few objects and they dance around a bit. 

I start to have thoughts like:

‘I am eternal
I am everyone
All is well
All is beautiful 
All is good
I am God, sat here basking in his own glory
Gods exploration of itself is just never ending beauty and majesty 
Whatever you can imagine it’s all here 
Ask and it will be shown 
Nothing is off the table here
You are the one making this
And you can change it into whatever you want
Your fear response, surrender it. 
If you are to be afraid then be afraid, but remember nothing can really hurt you’

I liked that, just being God, sat there and chilling the fuck out. Admiring the richness and beauty of random objects in my room. 

Then I feel an urge to close my eyes and let go. Go deeper and deeper. 

I get visuals as I close my eyes. These visuals are not happening randomly. Actually I seem able to influence them with my mind. I become aware of creating the visuals (to some degree)

Insight: When I shut my eyes and saw all the visuals. I realized that actually you don’t need ‘vision’ to ‘see’. It’s all imagination. 

120 mins (peak)

In my last trip, all I mostly just remember was the awakening experience, but I forgot the part which followed afterwards, which was an intense mindfuck. I thought the above passage was the peak and I would start coming down…. boy was I wrong….

Ok… so this is where the REAL trip begins. From here until the winddown I am not able to write. The visuals become intense so I lie down. Here I am re-calling what I remember during this phase

Insight: On the topic of infinity. There are no limits. Only the limits I create and I imagine. I define my own limits. You want to go ‘up’? Sure, we can go up, and keep going up as much as we like - there is no ceiling (unless you want there to be). The Universe is making this up as we are going along.

I am having an orgasm with myself. This is a pretty crazy, multi-sensory experience. It’s like the feeling of my breath in my lungs, the soft pillow/blankets around me, the feel of bedsheets under my body, combined with multi-dimensional DMT visuals, being teleported out of this world and ‘I AM’ all mixed together. No words or descriptions can quite describe it. It felt good though. 

Even as I am writing this, I know I will forget what this part of the experience was like (until I experience it again and will be like oh boy here we go again…). For future reference though for me this is where the ‘real’ trip happens. This experience is pretty alien, it was like becoming a multi-dimensional being, although these words are pretty meaningless compared to what it was actually like.

Maybe just remember in future this is an important and significant part of the trip (so don’t go off topping off on more DMT until you reach this point, this is the intense bit!).

I was trying my best to ‘control’ the trip by calming myself and focusing on something. But then I realized:

Insight: Doing and not doing are the same thing
I can try or I can not try, there is no difference
Who is there to try anything against, but myself?
Who is there to do the doing, but myself?
Inside and outside are the same. Inside becomes outside and vice versa. I am inside and outside all at once. 

Collapse of reality and imagination

I became very aware of the temperature of my breath. The feeling was like having a blanket put over my face and was suffocating me. I was like shit, ok let me check reality real quick to make sure I am safe.

This is where it gets a bit disturbing though. If I focus, there is an instant where I flash back to my bedroom and I am laying down, perfectly safe, no blanket over my face or anything. But then it hit me - How do I know this is actually reality? At that moment I realized I did not know what reality was. 

Reality and imagination are the same thing. 

This is a very serious situation, I open my eyes and focus. I see I am in my room. 
I close my eyes and I am in hyperspace. So where actually am I?
What is reality? Which one is real? 
I don’t know, one is not more valid than the other.

At this moment there was no difference. It was a bit scary because there was no single ‘reality’ I could check to see if I was actually being suffocated or not.
Like I can see myself in my bed in my room, but is that reality or imagination?
The vision of me being in a bedroom had no more authority than the ‘other reality’ of being in hyperspace. 

I kept trying to remind myself I am safe in this bed. Yet at the same time, I was aware I am not really in this bed.
There is no real ‘safety’ net because I am creating my own safety with my thoughts!
I can’t say ‘Don’t worry bro, you’re safe in bed just wait it out’, that's only true because I imagine it to be so! 

There is no ‘outside’ safe physical reality supporting me as a fall back on this trip. This trip and physical reality are one and the same. This trip IS reality. 

Insight: There is no difference between reality and imagination, they are the same. Living and dying are also the same (I don’t fully understand this last one but I have it written down, I think it was because I realized if there is no ‘reality’ then there is no such thing as ‘dying in reality’).

It is pretty funny (although it did not feel funny at the time) because here I am having a full body multisensory orgasm, whilst at the same time trying to stay alive, whilst at the same time trying to figure out what reality is. 

I was aware I could choose to bite off my tongue at any moment.
I was aware I could choose to clench my jaw and just break all my teeth.
I was aware just choose to hold my breath and end it all right here.
I was aware I could choose to imagine my death and it would be so.

There was no safe physical reality ‘supporting’ this experience, because everything is imagination.

Reality is groundless. If I see myself jumping off a building, I can’t tell if that is just me imagining things, or if I am really jumping off a building.
Those two things are exactly the same.

Trip Sitter?

Disclaimer: I am not advocating against trip sitters, just trying to convey perspective from the trip. Same with logic at bottom.

I was thinking hmm maybe I should've had a trip sitter? But then I realized the folly in this. 

A trip sitter could not stop me from killing myself (I am not talking from the physical perspective here). 

Because who is the trip sitter but me? 

How can me (trip sitter), stop me (Universe), from killing myself if I choose to do so?

The trip sitter is part of this fucking crazy multi-dimensional experience I am having. To fall back on having a trip sitter protect you is to say there is a physical external reality where this experience is taking place. But for me physical reality had collapsed, what I was experiencing was all there is and the trip sitter cannot exist outside or 'step in' to intervene with that. 

Whether I choose to live or die is up to me (the Universe) not the tripsitter (which is of course still just me). Ie. There is no difference between having a trip sitter and not having a trip sitter (I am not defending this from a physical standpoint, just relaying what I was experiencing). 

The trip sitter is not separate or distinct from my experience. Ultimately there is only one consciousness which decides whether I live or die and that is me (the Universe).

Insight: Even logic and critical thinking, are figments of this imagination. They are not like a ‘base platform’ from which I can use to analyze this psychedelic experience. Because they are imagined as part of this consciousness. So trying to use logic and critical thinking to analyze psychedelic experiences makes no sense, because these are not independent states that exist objectively outside consciousness. They are part of consciousness itself. So be wary when you’re trying to pass this up as ‘chemicals in the brain’ or some ‘drug induced effect’. This is only true when you treat logic/physical reality as something outside the psychedelic experience (which is not how it actually is, but you may need psychedelics to see that).  

 

Collapsing of duality/Infinity is both things at once/paradox

This was written by me as I was winding down and able to type again (I have corrected the English to make it more readable).

Being self and other simultaneously

'I am coming down now
Good I can finally make some fucking sense
Infinity can do all things at once
It is not this or that, it is everything all at once 

Do you recognize psychedelics are no trick?
I recognize this is an experience brought about by using a drug
But also I recognize this goes beyond the drug you see? 
It’s both things at once 

Be wary of saying it’s just a drug (you will be missing the other part of it)
Because that is a linear type of thinking, that is the human hat on 
I am human, yet I transcend humanity 
It is both at once

There is no one to argue, no one to convince but myself
Yet as I am typing this, I am doing so to share with ‘other’ as a trip report
I recognize I am creating others
So I am by myself, yet I am not, you see? 

I imagine others and I imagine myself
I imagine typing this up on the actualized forum, yet at the same time I recognize there is no forum
I imagine others reading this, yet I recognize I am those others and yet I am ‘not’ at the same time

I recognize I am all alone and I am sovereign
But at the same time I make an effort to write these notes to share with others 
It’s everything all at once. I am self and other at the same time 

There is only one consciousness

There is no difference between ‘higher’ and ‘lower’ consciousness. Both of these are just me expressed in different ways. 

Even as I am typing
I am trying to be conscious of
What ‘filter’ I am putting on to put this message through
Is this message being corrupted by my ego?
But at the same time I recognize there is no difference between having a filter and not having a filter, it's both the same fundamentally. 

You see, is this a filter or not? 
Is this ego speaking or not? 
Is this a universal message or not? 

Realize there is no distinction. There is no difference. 

The filter speaking is the Universe speaking
The ego filter is the Universe
All messages are the Universal message

Yet at the same time, I acknowledge a healthy respect that one must be careful what they say. 
I am so unlimited I could tell everyone to go on a murdering spree, yet I do not, why? 
Because I am both things at once and I respect both

When I was writhing in ecstasy back there, I realized I could choose to kill myself at any moment 
All it would take is a simple decision. 
Yet I did not, why?
Because I respected my own will to live in physical reality
I am limitless, beyond death, yet at the same time I respect my own boundaries (even if they are ‘human’)

Notice you have an idea of ‘levels’ of consciousness, you would say ‘I AM’ is higher consciousness and human consciousness is ‘lower’ consciousness.
But really it's all the same consciousness. 
Both of these are expressions of me, so in essence they are the same. 

So while we say ok you’re not as woke as this guy, or there are levels to it…
Yes there are levels, but there are no levels at the same time see? 
There are levels but at the same time it’s all the same…..

We demonize human consciousness,  but what is human consciousness but me? 
We imagine there are levels to awakening (which there are) yet at the same time there are none
All awakening and non-awakening is all just me (the Universe)

Notice if I am writing this from a ‘sober’/logical state you will not take my words as seriously, I need to convince you that you are in touch with some ‘higher power’ for you to label it mystical
But you see higher or lower consciousness, is it all the same consciousness 
These levels are imaginary. 

Being ‘non-woke’ is not any different from being ‘woke’ it’s just a different expression.
It’s always just me expressing myself with complete sovereignty at all times.

Even the times when you feel vulnerable, human and weak, this is still me expressing myself with complete sovereignty. You never escape me.
It is always an expression of me

I am that tiny, limited, fragile human cowering in fear, and I am the unbounded alien multidimensional ‘monster’ which scares you
I am both things at once

So on some level I am glad of awakening, but on another level I realize I never really needed it. Because there is nothing to escape from, there is nothing to awaken to, it was all just me. But even before awakening it was all just me also… so it’s kind of funny both things at once

There is only ever one consciousness, it’s all the same

That consciousness can express itself in many ways, sometimes it is correct, sometimes not (who is judging?) but it is always the same consciousness at all times just expressing itself in different forms

The thing you call mundane I appreciate really is mundane (I know I am you) but at the same time don’t think that is any less spiritual or different from being in fucking hyperspace. It’s all the same consciousness.  

End

Thanks for reading everyone 

Did you just say orally??????? I've been Isolating dmt for years and never knew it was active orally. I smoke the fumerate. It has a longer shelf life. Dude, you just blew my mind.

[woohoo123]

2 hours ago, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

Did you just say orally??????? I've been Isolating dmt for years and never knew it was active orally. I smoke the fumerate. It has a longer shelf life. Dude, you just blew my mind.

Yes I take it orally (fumarate). I tried vaping and it just wasn't for me. Also oral administration you get longer trips and it comes on slower so you can actually relax and get into the zone. You need to take it with a MAOI though otherwise it doesn't work.

I don't think you're meant to smoke fumarate? (freebase for smoking right?) I read somewhere fumarate gives off nasty side chemicals, but I assume you already knew that. 

If you're interested below was my first proper trip report on DMT (also taken orally)

 

[Jehovah increases]

🙌🖖🙏

[Bogdan]

@woohoo123 very nice!

[RamPhoenix]

What is the procedure?

nnDMT first? or harmaline first?

  I am one with 5meo, Never a negative journey, nothing but 2 long lost friends.

NN-DMT.  This is challenging for me. Anxiousness & a tad bit of fear come up.

Fractals, machine elves, clown world, fun house vibes. Just pure negative chaos in the beginning. Can anyone explain why every journey is this way????

Prep. Setting. mind frame goin in. Mental/physical health ......on point.   

Anyone else subscribe to the theory that we accelerated as HUMANS through "Annunaki" tinkering with our DNA? 

My theory: What ever "annunaki" did to us, NN-DMT triggers which results in certain people only having ....fractal, machine elf, fun house journeys.