I have two deepest desires and now Im confused on what to do (help)

[UpperMaster]

After reading "The Way of the Superior Man" a few times I decided it was time to find my true purpose. I sat in my room for a couple hours with no distractions or anything and it hit. The true desire that I really wanted was to know truth and enlightenment. This wasnt new to me, every time I am left with no distractions I end up obsessing about truth like nothing else mattered (until I get distracted by life again). The issue is, I have other goals that I want to achieve, like I also have a strong desire and huge vision to make music and perform, which is also something I absolutely want to do. I'm just afraid if the music vision is a fake desire or not (like influenced by society around you). Like I really don't want to give that vision up, I have an extremely strong desire to perform since I was very young. However when Im alone without distractions I end up almost always obsessing about truth. Also like I have other things I want to achieve, I haven't had an intimate relationship yet which kills me too. Like should I do the music thing first, or is temporarily ignoring the desire for finding truth going to fuck me up in the long run?

 

I'm scared of choosing the wrong purpose, please help.

[Leo Gura]

Your passion for music isn't fake.

Keep in mind that after you reach truth you will still have a whole life ahead of you and need some passion to pursue.

You have time enough for both.

Edited January 21 by Leo Gura

[Breakingthewall]

Just focus on your truth, on living deeply and authentically, and things will develop.

[UpperMaster]

Thanks for the response. @Leo Gura what about material desires? I saw your video on burning karma where you suggested on burning your karma first before getting fully into spirituality.

Logically I think that's a great plan (personally I want to do it that way) , however I have this irrational fear or intuition (I'm not sure which one it is) that I have to pursue spirituality now because I'll get better opportunities and guidance doing it now (and that I won't get this guidance later). I kinda want to pursue it later but can't help feeling this way. 

What do you think about that? 

Edited January 21 by UpperMaster

[UpperMaster]

Thanks for responding. @Judy2 I tried focusing on two things in my life and it's very difficult. Like I never made more progress on an area than when I focused a 100 percent on it.

Edited January 21 by UpperMaster

[UpperMaster]

@Breakingthewall What does that mean to you? Can you please elaborate. How is the most authentic way to live in this situation?

[Salvijus]

Some people who desire to be musicians deep down actually crave to become vehicles for the most beautiful energy to pour and express through them and participate in the upliftment of human spirits. 

If you look at this desire carefully, that's what enlightenment is all about. To become a perfect conduit of love to flow through and touch as many people as possible in whatever form. Not just through music. 

However, it's debatable whether music is the most effective way to achieve that state and become a perfect expression and embodyment of love and truth. Maybe for some people it is. There are many paths to get there. 

In short, what I'm trying to say is that your desire for God and your desire for music might actually be the same desire. Or the desire for music might have something to do with ego aswell. 

Edited January 21 by Salvijus

[Leo Gura]

@UpperMaster Since you sound young, you gotta work for some years on mastering the basics of human survival.

Work your way up Maslow's heirachy of needs.

Edited January 21 by Leo Gura

[UpperMaster]

@Leo Gura Yea Im 18. Alright I will do that.

[Ishanga]

@UpperMaster Your Young and have two passions, this can be a problem if one of them is Enlightenment. For that too happen one has to basically become a Brahmacharya, which means dedicate Your entire life to pursue Enlightenment or Brahman, that means cut ties with family, friends, no sex, drugs, booze, you socialize with the others doing the samething, so unless Your totally committed your screwed here. At Isha Foundation they do heavy screening for those that are applying for their Brahmacharya program, not all make it.

What I would recommend is you do the householder route, where You find an effective practice and do that consistently daily, set aside sometime for Your Spiritual Sadhana and it will do wonders for Your life, and pursue Your other passion, have a family if You want and so forth, then when older you and retired you can commit more time to the practice and for sure after all those Years You'll get there:)

 

[Girzo]

@UpperMaster I went for hardcore spirituality first, and then backed out, side effects were too much, both on body and on mind.

If I were you, I would have focused on building marketable skills in the area you want to pursue your passion in. Listen to interviews with bands, musicians, but also their managers and stuff. Maybe read a few biographies. Career goes first.

Most importantly, train the skills you want to master everyday.

And find yourself a supportive girlfriend, that's a good idea. 

Edited January 22 by Girzo

[Steel Grotto]

@Salvijus Music is very unique. I've been led to wonderful things by music, anime like Serial Experiments Lain, the existentialism of Ghost in the shell, Shinji's Ego Freakout as Humanity Dissolves in The End of Evangelion, Spike's Dream mentality in Cowboy Bebop, Breaking every single limit possible in Gurren Lagann. Films with the participation of Don Bluth, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Jim Henson movies are also great at distilling a message from God.

Every good film that really hits ya has something to do with the profundity of consciousness, whether it be a psychological thriller like Memento, a swashbuckler film like the Mask of Zorro, plenty of pre 2002 Disney films, the list goes on.

Some of the greatest channelers of God are storytellers, composers, and animators.

Yoko Kanno, Yuki Kajiura, and the possibly most ethereal artist Enya feel like gateways into a different domain of consciousness! 

[Applegarden8]

On 1/21/2024 at 8:10 PM, UpperMaster said:

After reading "The Way of the Superior Man" a few times I decided it was time to find my true purpose. I sat in my room for a couple hours with no distractions or anything and it hit. The true desire that I really wanted was to know truth and enlightenment. This wasnt new to me, every time I am left with no distractions I end up obsessing about truth like nothing else mattered (until I get distracted by life again). The issue is, I have other goals that I want to achieve, like I also have a strong desire and huge vision to make music and perform, which is also something I absolutely want to do. I'm just afraid if the music vision is a fake desire or not (like influenced by society around you). Like I really don't want to give that vision up, I have an extremely strong desire to perform since I was very young. However when Im alone without distractions I end up almost always obsessing about truth. Also like I have other things I want to achieve, I haven't had an intimate relationship yet which kills me too. Like should I do the music thing first, or is temporarily ignoring the desire for finding truth going to fuck me up in the long run?

 

I'm scared of choosing the wrong purpose, please help.

I share your desires. I do music when I can and try to focus on truth and of course work to get some income. But nothing else, if you want to have some reasonable success. I still have to strive and figure out a lot of things like how to eat the cheapest and healthiest, how to live the most minimalistic, how to integrate yoga practice in my life like after work for example, how to deal with other people which constantly say that you should do this and that and why you don't have what others have and project the insecurities they have. Then I have to figure how to buy an apt and where could get an apartment where I could practice my instrument also. How to organize music related things like finishing my ep which I am going to perform live, rehearsing that, organizing and finding the event, figuring technical aspects and much more. Yeah... it's is a lot of pressure. Fear to lose it all. Fear of constantly standing out. It would be socially easier and "be a man" and "do something" like only work, buy something, renovate it, have a wife, make children, drink occasionally etc. Then you would be more "accepted".

And then there is the truth question. How much truth to seek? To stay healthy? To keep your Fear of death minimum? To keep pure of values people project to you every day? It's a lot of pressure and very little amount of people practically will resonate with you. But at the end of it you will have this authentic smile which screams "i went trough it and it was worth it." And you will gain a lot of valuable insights in this path also trough music. Question how to make it sustainable.

Edited January 23 by Applegarden8

[Salvijus]

@Steel Grotto :) 

[Salvijus]

"before you will to do anything, ask yourself if that action is in accord with love's will"