Scholar

Significant Increase in Self-Love months after the my first psychedelic trip

33 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

I've never felt such a steady and profound love for my self. I recognize now how cruel and cold I was towards myself (even though I thought I had not been). Now I am so full of love, I want to share it with the world. This isn't something I ever really felt before.

I don't just accept myself, I adore myself. My mind and body are beautiful, I wonder how I could have for so long been so blind. This gives me a sort of confidence and security that prior to this I did not feel. I do not feel a need for the approval of society any longer, not even the approval of those who are close to me. I am free to be myself.

There is so much hatred and suffering in our world. People are so blind, so helpless, just trying to find love in a world which makes it so difficult to nurture. I can see more clearly now just how misguided the world is, and that the correct solution is to show the world love.

 

Love is just so powerful, I had no idea, even though intellectually I knew this was the case, I had no idea how attractive and beautiful it was.

 

 

I had confused apathy to be acceptance. I thought love was "self-acceptance", to not hate or judge oneself. But that is not what love is. Love is not wanting to exist without, wanting nothing more than it. That is how this feels, how I feel towards myself. It is of course a small taste of what I imagine a fuller Love to be, a complete Love.

But I believe from this self-love I can grow a greater love.

 

 

I could just hug and cuddle with myself, in an embrace of self-love. Oh man, it's like I am outside myself, and I can look myself in the eyes and truly love my self, like a brother, or a child. It's more intimate than that, and now I recognize how much of my life has always revolved around trying to attain this love.

There were so many things I believed were flawed about myself, but I do not see those flaws any longer, I can only see my potential. I can love myself so much that it gives me goosebumps.

Edited by Scholar

Glory to Israel

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Congratulations for having broken the dry shell that we created due to the interaction with human society, based on domination and narcissism, which forces individuals to place themselves in categories, in order to organize and evolve.

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@Scholar Are You really Loving Yourself, or are you Blissed out? I think You are Blissed Out, this isn't Love for Yourself, but just a great intensity of pleasure. When I read what You wrote, it is great that You are feeling intense pleasure within, that You see Love as a vehicle for making this world a better place for all, but when I read I just love myself, I can just hug and cuddle myself, this makes me cringe lol, it become egoic and narsasstic in nature, it becomes about the shell of the body and mind complex.  Stick to the great intense feeling of pleasure, and love You want to express to other, get rid of these feelings of I and cuddling self and such things, it gets you too trapped into yourself, just express Your love to others as much as possible, make them the priority, but its a process for sure, good going, glad for You:)


Karma Means "Life is my Making", I am 100% responsible for my Inner Experience. -Sadhguru..."I don''t want Your Dreams to come True, I want something to come true for You beyond anything You could dream of!!" - Sadhguru

 

 

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2 hours ago, Ishanga said:

@Scholar Are You really Loving Yourself, or are you Blissed out? I think You are Blissed Out, this isn't Love for Yourself, but just a great intensity of pleasure. When I read what You wrote, it is great that You are feeling intense pleasure within, that You see Love as a vehicle for making this world a better place for all, but when I read I just love myself, I can just hug and cuddle myself, this makes me cringe lol, it become egoic and narsasstic in nature, it becomes about the shell of the body and mind complex.  Stick to the great intense feeling of pleasure, and love You want to express to other, get rid of these feelings of I and cuddling self and such things, it gets you too trapped into yourself, just express Your love to others as much as possible, make them the priority, but its a process for sure, good going, glad for You:)

It's not pleasure lol.

And of course it is cringe to you, because you do not love yourself. I said that precisely because I knew it would get a reaction out of people like you, showcasing yourself to lacking a love for yourself.


Glory to Israel

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1 minute ago, Scholar said:

It's not pleasure lol.

And of course it is cringe to you, because you do not love yourself. I said that precisely because I knew it would get a reaction out of people like you, showcasing yourself to lacking a love for yourself.

No its not that, Loving Yourself, needs two entitites, the one loving and the thing being loved, this is egoic, creating two inside of You, the mind can create two or a million, so logically it doesn't work, especially for Spiritual purposes, it just sounds to me that Your just in great spirits, and love is pouring out of You, which is what we all should be feeling all the time, it has nothing to do with Loving Yourself lol.. that is just modern day new age BS which is full of holes, half truths and leads one further away from Truth and Reality..


Karma Means "Life is my Making", I am 100% responsible for my Inner Experience. -Sadhguru..."I don''t want Your Dreams to come True, I want something to come true for You beyond anything You could dream of!!" - Sadhguru

 

 

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Namaste!

This is only the beginning ;)


“I once tried to explain existential dread to my toaster, but it just popped up and said, "Same."“ -Gemini AI

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@Scholar You only want Love because it is pleasurable, you avoid pain because it causes suffering over time, non pleasureable, Peace is 0 on a scale of 0-10 on the pleasure scale of intensity, Love is about 7, Bliss is 9, Esctasy is 10, devotion is above Love, its 8 I would say:)


Karma Means "Life is my Making", I am 100% responsible for my Inner Experience. -Sadhguru..."I don''t want Your Dreams to come True, I want something to come true for You beyond anything You could dream of!!" - Sadhguru

 

 

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Just now, Ishanga said:

No its not that, Loving Yourself, needs two entitites, the one loving and the thing being loved, this is egoic, creating two inside of You, the mind can create two or a million, so logically it doesn't work, especially for Spiritual purposes, it just sounds to me that Your just in great spirits, and love is pouring out of You, which is what we all should be feeling all the time, it has nothing to do with Loving Yourself lol.. that is just modern day new age BS which is full of holes, half truths and leads one further away from Truth and Reality..

You are just arrogant and presumptious.

There is also a deep seperation you draw between your self and others. You would be able to cuddle with others, if you love them, and not find it cringe. But you do not realize that when you cuddle with others, you are just cuddling with your self.

There is no distinction.

 

You are precisely the person that I freed myself from being.


Glory to Israel

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1 minute ago, Scholar said:

You are just arrogant and presumptious.

There is also a deep seperation you draw between your self and others. You would be able to cuddle with others, if you love them, and not find it cringe. But you do not realize that when you cuddle with others, you are just cuddling with your self.

There is no distinction.

 

You are precisely the person that I freed myself from being.

There are others, other bodies, other minds, we as Humans just have the ability to feel/experience Oneness, in a physical way we show by hugging, cuddling, and other such acts, but actors do this all the time with others but have no personal or real feelings towards the others, its just an experience Your having, which is good and fine, just don't make it about "I". When I went thru these states it was just about having Bliss, having Oneness of Experience, everything is me, I am everything, then trying to share it, either one takes it in and accepts it or doesn't, that doesn't involve me. Only in the realm of Oneness, where all possibility exists, there is no individuality there, but here there is, we just have the capability of making our fundamental experience that of Oneness, will still embodied and dealing with everyday life and having to survive another day...


Karma Means "Life is my Making", I am 100% responsible for my Inner Experience. -Sadhguru..."I don''t want Your Dreams to come True, I want something to come true for You beyond anything You could dream of!!" - Sadhguru

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Scholar said:

You are just arrogant and presumptious.

There is also a deep seperation you draw between your self and others. You would be able to cuddle with others, if you love them, and not find it cringe. But you do not realize that when you cuddle with others, you are just cuddling with your self.

There is no distinction.

 

You are precisely the person that I freed myself from being.

You see how You are making it personal, like a personal attack? 


Karma Means "Life is my Making", I am 100% responsible for my Inner Experience. -Sadhguru..."I don''t want Your Dreams to come True, I want something to come true for You beyond anything You could dream of!!" - Sadhguru

 

 

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Sorry to say, but it does sound like you're blissed out.  I experienced the same thing upto 6 months after iboga.

Real self-love is reflected in changes in behavior toward oneself.  It has to be a sustainable thing, because eventually the neurochemical effects from the trip wear off.  All the trip is really good for is giving you a window to make these changes, the period of neuroplasticity is limited.

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Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, Ishanga said:

You see how You are making it personal, like a personal attack? 

I am not interested in playing this game with you.

 

1 hour ago, SeaMonster said:

Sorry to say, but it does sound like you're blissed out.  I experienced the same thing upto 6 months after iboga.

Real self-love is reflected in changes in behavior toward oneself.  It has to be a sustainable thing, because eventually the neurochemical effects from the trip wear off.  All the trip is really good for is giving you a window to make these changes, the period of neuroplasticity is limited.

I'm not blissed out, I am describing a change in how I relate to myself. In fact, I was in the worst state of mind in my life a few weeks ago, and during that time I still related to myself this way. The change in relationship has occured gradually after my trip, not as a result of some sort of changed state that fades over time. It was so subtle that I did not notice it consciously until now.

The trip was 4 months ago. You are making huge assumptions about what kind of effects trips can have and in particular how I integrated and used the changes that occured in myself.

 

You guys are overly negative and overthinking, you need to cheer up.

Edited by Scholar

Glory to Israel

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Posted (edited)

@Scholar thank you for posting this, I resonate with this deeply. I am trying to love myself more and more every day and so should you. 

You do not sound blissed out to me, you sound genuine 

@Ishanga and @SeaMonster do not love themselves and are being triggered by your self love. Take a good hard look at this and you'll see that it's true 

Don't allow the criticisms to steer you away from the path 

Edited by Spiritual Warrior

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50 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

@Scholar thank you for posting this, I resonate with this deeply. I am trying to love myself more and more every day and so should you. 

You do not sound blissed out to me, you sound genuine 

@Ishanga and @SeaMonster do not love themselves and are being triggered by your self love. Take a good hard look at this and you'll see that it's true 

Don't allow the criticisms to steer you away from the path 

It seems you are triggered by some saying something You don't agree with, you see how this works? Lets not play games, and I am not playing games either, just commenting and observing, that is all, if one wants to Love Themselves and go down that road so be it, its no skin off my back, just saying in my own experience and research this is the wrong road to go down, but ppl must do what they must do and see for themselves:)


Karma Means "Life is my Making", I am 100% responsible for my Inner Experience. -Sadhguru..."I don''t want Your Dreams to come True, I want something to come true for You beyond anything You could dream of!!" - Sadhguru

 

 

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57 minutes ago, Scholar said:

I am not interested in playing this game with you.

 

I'm not blissed out, I am describing a change in how I relate to myself. In fact, I was in the worst state of mind in my life a few weeks ago, and during that time I still related to myself this way. The change in relationship has occured gradually after my trip, not as a result of some sort of changed state that fades over time. It was so subtle that I did not notice it consciously until now.

The trip was 4 months ago. You are making huge assumptions about what kind of effects trips can have and in particular how I integrated and used the changes that occured in myself.

 

You guys are overly negative and overthinking, you need to cheer up.

Like I said in my initial post, I'm glad for You in many ways, being Blissed out is awesome and everyone should have this experience, its just the way your talking (and now reacting) that says allot but hey ppl have to do what they feel is right, no worries:)


Karma Means "Life is my Making", I am 100% responsible for my Inner Experience. -Sadhguru..."I don''t want Your Dreams to come True, I want something to come true for You beyond anything You could dream of!!" - Sadhguru

 

 

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The truth is that you’ll have these profound openings and shifts in consciousness, but that does not mean that the ones close to you will experience it the same way (e.g. family or forum members). They may actually convince you that something is seriously wrong and that you’ve lost your mind.

The ultimate authority is Consciousness. Not your sister, not your spouse, not your house, not even your physical body. Not as long as you believe that these are literally separate from Consciousness. 


“I once tried to explain existential dread to my toaster, but it just popped up and said, "Same."“ -Gemini AI

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@Yimpa

6 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

The truth is that you’ll have these profound openings and shifts in consciousness, but that does not mean that the ones close to you will experience it the same way (e.g. family or forum members). They may actually convince you that something is seriously wrong and that you’ve lost your mind.

The ultimate authority is Consciousness. Not your sister, not your spouse, not your house, not even your physical body. Not as long as you believe that these are literally separate from Consciousness. 

This is why forums and things like this via the internet are not the be all end all, yes sharing is good (sanga) but it has to be more personal, and in committed environments, this here is not a committed environment, its very general and ppl can come and go as they please, no committment necessary. Its a starting point this place is, but definitely not an end point or place of great value and wisdom, that comes when someone does the work/striving and finds out for themselves what is the Reality, and what is not. When someone shares, they have to expect differing opinions coming their way, their reaction to it says allot...


Karma Means "Life is my Making", I am 100% responsible for my Inner Experience. -Sadhguru..."I don''t want Your Dreams to come True, I want something to come true for You beyond anything You could dream of!!" - Sadhguru

 

 

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The only I to commit to Love is You.

You never truly divorce or separate from Love. You simply explore different aspects. Reality is, even with no matter or trying to resolve matters. 

Who is to say that Enlightenment is more important than Love is more important than ego? You decide.


“I once tried to explain existential dread to my toaster, but it just popped up and said, "Same."“ -Gemini AI

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Congrats, this is amazing 

Imo nothing more important from the spiritual path than love, happiness and actually becoming a better Human. 

I find it funny when the most 'enlightened' are just complete wankers 


'One is always in the absolute state, knowingly or unknowingly for that is all there is.' Francis Lucille. 

'Peace and Happiness are inherent in Consciousness.' Rupert Spira 

“Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.” Ramana Maharshi

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Posted (edited)

3 hours ago, Scholar said:

The trip was 4 months ago. You are making huge assumptions about what kind of effects trips can have and in particular how I integrated and used the changes that occured in myself.

"Huge assumptions" = well-known effects on brain chemistry after a trip.  You're not some special case.

The point of my post is that the effects fade, so you better capitalize on making changes while they haven't.

You're not the first person to experiment with psychedelics, so don't lash out just because you're insufficiently realistic about what can be expected from trips.

If my tone is negative (in general on this forum) it's to balance all the unrealistic mf'ers here.

Edited by SeaMonster

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