Advice Needed From Folks Who Have More Experience

[Gnosis]

I'm very new to cold approach and I'm running into a reoccurring issue which I suspect has to do with the way I present myself or my "vibe" or not being good at leading.

The issue seems to be that even if I seem to make a girl interested in an initial interaction (usually just by being confident in the approach), sooner or later she starts to do this "pretend to help you" thing where she's very clearly implicitly communicating "you're not the guy for me" by Googling different venues or stuff for me, as if I don't already know where all the women are, and it's very off-putting.

Leo and people here who are actually decent at pickup, what does this mean? And what should I work on improving to avoid this issue?

Once this happens with a girl I get the impression that getting laid is virtually null. I assume this is a clear "friendzone" indication, but it's really oddly specific and seems to happen a lot with me. I don't have any wings (or really even any friends) here so I've just been doing cold approaches alone and chatting up random people. Maybe my loneliness is rubbing off on girls.

[Gnosis]

Actually the really funny thing is I don't think I've seen a single other person do cold approaches here. It's pretty interesting to me how rarely actual pickup is practiced (I assume outside of places like Vegas).

[Gnosis]

In fact, it actually seems to be worse than being "friendzoned", it's probably just straight up rejection but clothed in a polite way since they can tell I'm very genuine.

Edited October 1, 2023 by Gnosis

[Leo Gura]

You need to engage in humor and playful, emotionally stimulating conversation with a girl. Logical talk is your enemy.

Of course many girls will reject you. Don't worry too much about that. Not all girls are available and not all girls will like you.

[Gnosis]

I plan on isolation training pissing girls off and stripping validation because I'm too meek lol. I'm even going out of my way to learn how to spit-take so I can try other people's drinks and spit it out and tell them it tastes like shit. I've done so much ridiculous shit here already to become more socially acclimatized—given entire restaurants free chocolate, taken a cat fishing rod toy to a loud bar, used the same toy on people on street, followed two girls I was talking to into a fucking river and soaked my shoes just to confirm that chasing doesn't work. Got kicked out by a couple of restaurant owners because apparently what I was doing was too obnoxious. The employees usually love it, but as soon as the owner is there I get warned lol "No outside food" "Why are you bothering my customers"  Slowly learning what's socially acceptable in what contexts, and what gets whos attention, and what is liked by whom.

[Gnosis]

Oh also, here's a good one, "Please sit down I don't want people to mistake you for an employee"

[Raze]

Post this question on the skilled seducer forum, there are guys with more experience there who can answer better 

[StarStruck]

10 minutes ago, Gnosis said:

I plan on isolation training pissing girls off and stripping validation because I'm too meek lol. I'm even going out of my way to learn how to spit-take so I can try other people's drinks and spit it out and tell them it tastes like shit. I've done so much ridiculous shit here already to become more socially acclimatized—given entire restaurants free chocolate, taken a cat fishing rod toy to a loud bar, used the same toy on people on street, followed two girls I was talking to into a fucking river and soaked my shoes just to confirm that chasing doesn't work. Got kicked out by a couple of restaurant owners because apparently what I was doing was too obnoxious. The employees usually love it, but as soon as the owner is there I get warned lol "No outside food" "Why are you bothering my customers"  Slowly learning what's socially acceptable in what contexts, and what gets whos attention, and what is liked by whom.

Good stuff to let go of fear. If you do pickup you should be scanning your body for fear, locate the fear and instead of running away from the fear approach it. I like your way of generating triggering situations. It shaves off ton of time for emotional development. 

Edited October 1, 2023 by StarStruck

[Leo Gura]

34 minutes ago, Gnosis said:

I plan on isolation training pissing girls off

Don't do that.

Ethics!

Not abuse girls. I am not here to train monsters.

Edited October 1, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Gnosis]

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't do that.

Maintain ethics.

It's not something I'll be constantly doing. I just need to know how to piss someone off if I actually needed to, not as a strategy to get laid. There are sometimes where people are extremely immature and offensive, this is a college town. I usually walk away from those situations feeling like I want to punch a wall, because I don't have the right social strategies in my skillset. I'd rather know how to deal with these situations in a clever way than let it adversely effect me silently.

[Gnosis]

I'm hypersensitive and it's not something I can really change. Suffering silently for me is the default.

[nhoktinvt]

these day you can piss someone off just by simply disagreeing with them about sth

[Leo Gura]

One of the biggest lessons you guys need to learn is how to respect a woman.

Cause she will dump your sorry ass.

Edited October 1, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Gnosis]

16 minutes ago, Gnosis said:

There are sometimes where people are extremely immature and offensive, this is a college town. I usually walk away from those situations feeling like I want to punch a wall, because I don't have the right social strategies in my skillset. I'd rather know how to deal with these situations in a clever way than let it adversely effect me silently.

In this situation I've heard excessively complimenting and flattering people works pretty well too. So it doesn't necessarily have to tactics to explicitly piss people off.

[Gnosis]

I just want more tools in my social skillset, respecting women as human beings is the last piece of advice I need to hear. But maybe other people here need to hear it, who knows.

[Gnosis]

I even bought a magic wand so when I do pull a girl I can be sure she'll enjoy herself.

[Farnaby]

26 minutes ago, Gnosis said:

here are sometimes where people are extremely immature and offensive, this is a college town. I usually walk away from those situations feeling like I want to punch a wall, because I don't have the right social strategies in my skillset. I'd rather know how to deal with these situations in a clever way than let it adversely effect me silently.

I think you're trying to find a way to not have to deal with your unpleasant feelings. "If I know how to perfectly respond in such a situation, I won't have to feel like I want to punch a wall".

Yes, it's good to work on your assertiveness to better handle tense social situations, but that's not what you're saying that you want to develop. What you're describing will only get you in more trouble. Respect people and most people will respect you. Negative emotions spread very easily. I think learning how to handle your negative emotions instead of dumping them on other people is a better approach.

[Gnosis]

3 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

I think learning how to handle your negative emotions instead of dumping them on other people is a better approach.

Do you have any concrete advice for me or are you only here to proselytize?

[Karmadhi]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't do that.

Ethics!

Not abuse girls. I am not here to train monsters.

Telling a guy to be sociopathically detached and treat girls like you give 0 shit about them is kinda doing that though. I am honestly disappointed by your dating advice considering how much I look up to you as a person. Hanging out with players corrupts your perception, I noticed it in myself a bit. Maybe you should hang out with some successful guys with girls that are not man whores, maybe it will change your perception about it.

Ps: I am not saying to be needy just not overly detached.

Edited October 2, 2023 by Karmadhi

[meta_male]

3 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Telling a guy to be sociopathically detached and treat girls like you give 0 shit about them is kinda doing that though.

Being detached is being needy – needy for security. Laid back is what you want.