Pick Up is just weird man

[LordFall]

@Tyler Robinson Ideally relationships should have logic and business should have emotion. Keeping them separate leads to all sorts of issues. 

[Danioover9000]

   Is PUA all of it weird? Yes, and sometimes depending on how low your social intelligence is, can appear creepy and sexual harassments like. I don't see the value of PUA or what value it generates for men. I'd rather you all over focus on your LP and skills training instead of dating. Dating is a specific socialization skills, and depending on your stage of development, cognitive and moral development, ego development, personality typing, states of emotions and consciousness, life experiences, other lines of development in different life areas, worldview and belief systems indoctrinated into you, and WHERE you are liberal/conservative, determines the probability of your screwing up in PUA.

   Before PUA or dating, go and implement basic socialization practices and just normal conversations first, for those who are very shy or creepy.

[Optimized Life]

On 17/12/2022 at 4:45 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

It is. 

It depends on context. If you are friendly with someone, then it's okay to ask. 

But just randomly asking a girl for her number can make her feel uncomfortable. When you intentionally make someone uncomfortable, it amounts to harassing. 

No it's not.

It's not harassment unless you are being aggressive and ask repeatedly. 

Just because something you do makes someone feel uncomfortable doesn't = harassment. 

This is a stupid sentence. Why would someone who wants to charm a girl "intentionally" make them feel uncomfortable, it is always unintentional due to bad game, low social IQ etc 

Making someone feel uncomfortable does not instantly equal harassment. 

Many people are still uncomfortable with gay people but that doesn't mean the gays are harassing. 

I am still a bit uncomfortable with trans people, but they are not harassing me. 

However, if a trans person made me uncomfortable because he asked my number in a loud voice 5 times in a row after I said no with his breath right in my face, or he randomly started touching me provocatively, that would be harassment. 

Frustrating that I even have to point this out, this should be common sense. 

I standing up against undeserved victim identity here, if a guy asks for your number, you can say no, and he should go away after that, but never claim that he's harassing you just for that, ironically you're actually harassing him by exaggerating the situation and slandering others. 

 

Edited December 22, 2022 by Optimized Life

[Tyler Robinson]

25 minutes ago, Optimized Life said:

No it's not.

It's not harassment unless you are being aggressive and ask repeatedly. 

Just because something you do makes someone feel uncomfortable doesn't = harassment. 

This is a stupid sentence. Why would someone who wants to charm a girl "intentionally" make them feel uncomfortable, it is always unintentional due to bad game, low social IQ etc 

Making someone feel uncomfortable does not instantly equal harassment. 

Many people are still uncomfortable with gay people but that doesn't mean the gays are harassing. 

I am still a bit uncomfortable with trans people, but they are not harassing me. 

However, if a trans person made me uncomfortable because he asked my number in a loud voice 5 times in a row after I said no with his breath right in my face, or he randomly started touching me provocatively, that would be harassment. 

Frustrating that I even have to point this out, this should be common sense. 

I standing up against undeserved victim identity here, if a guy asks for your number, you can say no, and he should go away after that, but never claim that he's harassing you just for that, ironically you're actually harassing him by exaggerating the situation and slandering others. 

 

If you want someone's number, first develop rapport. Nobody is just going to give their number to you. Nobody owes you shit. You aren't entitled to someone's personal information just because you asked. 

[Tyler Robinson]

27 minutes ago, Optimized Life said:

Many people are still uncomfortable with gay people but that doesn't mean the gays are harassing. 

I'm not talking about that discomfort. I'm talking about the discomfort when you simply want to do grocery shopping and someone comes along begging for your number. You're not going to those places for that to happen. You want a free pleasant shopping experience, not someone pestering you for your number. Common sense. 

It happened to me in a park. The guy followed me in the park. When I ignored his conversations and I walked in to the next park, he followed me there as well. That's when I felt harassed. People go to places to enjoy fresh air and not to be pestered by pick up artists. 

Learn social calibration 

 

[meta_male]

@KH2 Just make sure you don't ruin other's experience on here. Why not get a hobby that allows you to let off steam there instead of abusing the internet?

[TheGreekSeeker]

On 12/16/2022 at 5:31 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

Yea but most pickup isn't like that. Some of it can be a form of sexual harassment. Imagine you're simply walking in a park or grocery shopping, you don't want someone to ask you your number or start flirting with you, you end up feeling your sense of privacy invaded as a woman, not to mention feeling objectified on top of everything else. 

I mean we as women are not your Guinea pigs for your social experimentation and polishing. 

Find better ways to be friends with women rather than harassing them on the street in the name of social skill development. 

Whatever I just wrote is not a valid concern at all? 

 

 

I understand your frustration. In my university you can be approached by members of different political parties, which is annoying. They have the right to come up and talk to you, you have the right to ignore them. Unless they insist, in which case you can call the police, you can't deny them the freedom of coming up and talking to you.

[TheGreekSeeker]

1 minute ago, KH2 said:

Certain perspectives here just get tiresome to listen to after a while, that's all

If someone or something being said gets under your skin, it is a good indicator you need to calibrate your feelings more efficiently. What angers you tells more about you than the other person. I get feeling frustrated, but anger is a much bigger feeling. Why do you need to block someone? We are all a community here who try to help each other. Eventually all here want to help and be helped, not to ruin someone's experience.

[Danioover9000]

   So, what's the consensus? PUA weird, or normal? 

[TheGreekSeeker]

6 minutes ago, KH2 said:

It's not anger, it's like disguist. Literal disguist, that amplifies more and more as that person keeps making more and more posts, it's just brewing in my stomach. Cringe would be synonymous I guess.

It's like "Ew, get away from me" feeling, except I CAN'T get away, because I keep seeing that person everywhere.

I don't think tyler shows disgust towards you as a person. She condemns a behaviour, you are not the behaviour. You are you, you have self-worth regardless. I don't think she wants to make you feel disgust. She feels disgust so she expresses her feelings. But her feelings are disapproving a behaviour, not you as a person. You can differentiate from the behaviour and adopt one that is more socially plausible.

[meta_male]

4 hours ago, KH2 said:

It's not anger, it's like disguist. Literal disguist, that amplifies more and more as that person keeps making more and more posts, it's just brewing in my stomach. Cringe would be synonymous I guess.

I get it. To be honest, I struggle with this myself at times. Just don't write your thoughts down when you're in that frame, find other ways to release your anger. What helps me is writing down some of my posts in Evernote first.

[meta_male]

@Danioover9000 They give off a weird vibe.

[meta_male]

@KH2 Yep, I can relate haha. I've been like this the past several months. As long as you don't beat yourself up about it ?

[UnbornTao]