I have noticed i am balding. I am afraid I'll look terrible

[assx95]

I look average and with balding, a noticeably receding hairline on the sides and on the front. I am starting to feel unattractive cause I have a big forehead. Is there anything which could help. I am 27 M. I never worried about this before, and it is starting to affect me mentally. 

 

[Eph75]

Cut your hair down to 0.5 - 1 mm (essentially as short as possible without being shaved) and get used to it by choice, fully embrace who you are without hair.

Once your comfortable by choice, you can grow it out and it will be much easier to remove the hair when the time comes when it's "too thin" and holding on to it looks desperate. 

I wouldn't say that I'm balding, but I've developed significant hair curves and hair has thinned out quite a bit, as well as a bald spot at the top/back of my head is starting to show (clearly visible but wouldn't define it as bald).

I originally got rid of my hair due to my low self-esteem and resulting vanity about my hair style, and got used to not having hair and detached from being partly defined by how my hair looked. Didn't do this based on my hair thinning.

But now I am comfortable with any hair, although I have grown my hair back for the time being, about a year and a half ago, and that's when the hair thinning became obvious. 

I'm fully confident about removing my hair, I could literally do it right now and I nor anyone else would care, as I've gone from no hair to hair on and off in the past to be fully comfortable with me regardless of my hair, and I have proven that no one else care either. 

Long story short, the best thing you can do is to fully love yourself, balding hair and big forehead as you see it now.

Holding on to the past creates suffering, and hair as you desire it is obviously a thing of your past, not your future. 

You could always implant or treat your scalp to slow the hair thinning down, but ultimately thin is where you're going, it's a matter of when and how much you resist it.

There's plenty of guys that remove their hair based on it being thin, and plenty of guys that remove their hair from choice, perhaps based convenience or as in my case, personal challlenge/development. 

There are plenty of old people that have full heads of artificial hair, toupees, wigs, colored thin hair, comb-overs, turban looking contraptions and so on that look 100% unnatural and draw more attention than a young-mid age person with a very shortly cut or shaved hair. 

The latter I would likely never be noticed. 

The former stands out at someone who desperately holds on to the past that has slipped away from them. 

Short story got long. 

Ask yourself who you want to be, that makes you feel free and authentic, and not driven by fears of what others, and you, think or feel about your head.

Then embrace it and fully accept your choice. 

 

Edited July 12, 2022 by Eph75

[assx95]

@Eph75 Yeah, what you say makes sense! To love myself as who I am! 

[Mormegil]

4 hours ago, assx95 said:

 I am starting to feel unattractive cause I have a big forehead.

I wouldn't worry about this. This kind of fear is usually based on insecurity, not on actual looks I also don't like my face too much (big forhead like you, big nose, etc) but I feel very comfortable being bald. I started losing hair in my early 20s and I made the mistake of not cutting it back fully, I first trimmed it to a few cms and it looked terrible haha. A week later I decided to go "all in" and cut it all away and I'm doing it ever since.

I have a few friends who also decided to shave themselves completely but purely out of fashion (I think it got popular during breaking bad or something like this haha) and even though they all have different looks and different head shapes and so on, in my opinion it looked good on all of them. So in my experience it is very difficult to look bad on a man (and lots of girls like it too ).

Also actually many guys who were also getting bald complement me for shaving all down, they say it's very bold or brave and that they don't have the courage. So it's kinda funny, they wanna do it cause they know it looks better than the few leftovers they have, but they are just too scared and leave always maybe 5cm on.

So don't worry too much, I understand its scary at first but you will see it's really no big deal actually. It will probably make you actually look more mature and masculine.

Edited July 12, 2022 by Mormegil

[Thought Art]

I shave mine cuz I’m balding. It’s fine.

Girls actually still check me out. Worrying for nothing. 

[undeather]

13 hours ago, assx95 said:

I look average and with balding, a noticeably receding hairline on the sides and on the front. I am starting to feel unattractive cause I have a big forehead. Is there anything which could help. I am 27 M. I never worried about this before, and it is starting to affect me mentally. 

 

Ignore all the advice.
They dont know you. Just because someone else shaved their head and did fine afterwards doesnt mean that this is the right solution for you. I also started suffering from male pattern hair loss in my early 20's and THANK GOD I did not listen to all the family members and internet experts who told me to "just shave it bro". 

I am not telling you to keep your hair either. It really depends on many things - your headshape, your beard status, how much you care about being physically attractive, your job situation and so on...
Some guys look way better bald than balding. Others suffer from the slaphead curse.

If you want to be proactive, then there are many ways to stop and even reverse your lost hair.

 

[Thought Art]

@undeather Did they work?

[Eph75]

Regardless, the path forward is developing acceptance of self, and ultimately self-love. 

1 hour ago, undeather said:

It really depends on many things - your headshape, your beard status, how much you care about being physically attractive, your job situation and so on...

It would be pretty odd if one shaved or kept ones hair for the sake of someone else, or for something else, while feeling like shit about it. 

Although, that's what most probably would do, for the sake of being accepted by others, we sacrifice ourselves and what truly matters most. 

Abiding the delusion of needing to do/be one or the other to fulfill an underlying desire. 

Ultimately to be worthy of love and belonging. 

The only way to get peace and to develop acceptance is to challenge the underlying feelings and mindset related to hair, head shape, and appearance in general, and explore how that connects to self-worth and self-esteem.

Edited July 12, 2022 by Eph75

[undeather]

35 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@undeather Did they work?

Yes, especially finasteride and minoxodil work wonders. They are FDA approved for that indication.
I would advice for topical solutions in both cases. 

 

17 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

Regardless, the path forward is developing acceptance of self, and ultimately self-love. 

It would be pretty odd if one shaved or kept ones hair for the sake of someone else, or for something else, while feeling like shit about it. 

Although, that's what most probably would do, for the sake of being accepted by others, we sacrifice ourselves and what truly matters most. 

Abiding the delusion of needing to do/be one or the other to fulfill an underlying desire. 

Ultimately to be worthy of love and belonging. 

The only way to get peace and to develop acceptance is to challenge the underlying feelings and mindset related to hair, head shape, and appearance in general, and explore how that connects to self-worth and self-esteem.

Sure. 
You can also accept/(self-)love that you are 200kg overweight. Or you can do something about it.
This might not be the same thing but both it shows that the nature of the question is not either/or.

I am defintiely better off with hair than without. There is just no question about it. 

[cupofwater]

Men who go bald look really good bald (relatively speaking). Its very masculine.

[Eph75]

9 hours ago, undeather said:

You can also accept/(self-)love that you are 200kg overweight. Or you can do something about it.

That's a not all that fair and flawed reasoning/comparison, as baldening is a natural state, and not at all state that is dysfunctional and harmful to the psychical health of the person.

200 kg overweight is. 

Both do have the psychological aspect though, but equating them doesn't really make sense. 

Rather equating not lean, not muscular, not ripped, but having a "healthy portion" of body fat. Then add to that, having an "awkward" body shape, that makes whatever you got not looking comparatively great in contrast to the social norm of what beautiful looks like, ads, magazines, social media and so on. 

Accepting one's individuality both in terms of authentic self expression and physical appearance, despite it being different from what would be preferred/great/perfect is ultimately healthy. 

Pathological obsessiveness with that "healthy amount of" body fat and the awkwardness of bodliy shape leads to mental health issues, possibly spiraling into self-loathing, or worse.

Even at its smallest manifestation, this forum thread is birthed from a mental dis-ease perspective. 

The hair is the symptom. The current composition of the mind is the root cause.

We could easily chase the symptoms of life like it was a game of whack-a-mole, but it soon gets tiresome. 

There's also a good chance that one starts losing one's individuality in that process, trying to be who we think that we should be to fit in, rather than being what's authentic to us. 

There are most likely underlying reasons for the 200 kg overweight, where food has become a coping mechanism, turned to rather than facing and working on the underlying issues, quite possibly having spiraled out of control. 

Balding is not, unless it's a physiologically treatable condition, that causes hair loss as a side-effect, and not as a biological phenomena. 

With that said, this says absolutely nothing about having or not having any hair. What authentic is, what feels free, is just that, up to the individual to decide.

That means, the grounds ones choices stand on, matters, a lot. 

This is perfect, if you can accept your condition, and love yourself.

Edited July 13, 2022 by Eph75

[Raze]

Try rogaine and finasteride

[undeather]

3 hours ago, Eph75 said:

That's a not all that fair and flawed reasoning/comparison, as baldening is a natural state, and not at all state that is dysfunctional and harmful to the psychical health of the person.

200 kg overweight is. 

Both do have the psychological aspect though, but equating them doesn't really make sense. 

Rather equating not lean, not muscular, not ripped, but having a "healthy portion" of body fat. Then add to that, having an "awkward" body shape, that makes whatever you got not looking comparatively great in contrast to the social norm of what beautiful looks like, ads, magazines, social media and so on. 

Accepting one's individuality both in terms of authentic self expression and physical appearance, despite it being different from what would be preferred/great/perfect is ultimately healthy. 

Pathological obsessiveness with that "healthy amount of" body fat and the awkwardness of bodliy shape leads to mental health issues, possibly spiraling into self-loathing, or worse.

Even at its smallest manifestation, this forum thread is birthed from a mental dis-ease perspective. 

The hair is the symptom. The current composition of the mind is the root cause.

We could easily chase the symptoms of life like it was a game of whack-a-mole, but it soon gets tiresome. 

There's also a good chance that one starts losing one's individuality in that process, trying to be who we think that we should be to fit in, rather than being what's authentic to us. 

There are most likely underlying reasons for the 200 kg overweight, where food has become a coping mechanism, turned to rather than facing and working on the underlying issues, quite possibly having spiraled out of control. 

Balding is not, unless it's a physiologically treatable condition, that causes hair loss as a side-effect, and not as a biological phenomena. 

With that said, this says absolutely nothing about having or not having any hair. What authentic is, what feels free, is just that, up to the individual to decide.

That means, the grounds ones choices stand on, matters, a lot. 

This is perfect, if you can accept your condition, and love yourself.

Sometimes the path of self-love is one which involves a strong stance against a certain condition, rather than passively accepting it. We are not talking about a birth deffect or other irreversible deformities - we are talking about androgenetic hair loss, which is treatable for the most part. Its of course not a disease, but a rather cruel joke from mother nature.

Fix what you can and accept/love the heck out of that which you can't.
Or dont. Its really up to the individual. You will pay a certain price regardless of your decision.

What you are saying is of course, at the root of it all, true. It is a mental dynamic of insecurities, ego & conditioning.
However, the path to self-love is polyaxial and sometimes, the net positive for someones life is taking the extrinsic route.
I love myself even more for taking action and not just "accepting" it. 
I really dislike this monotonous way of seeing complex issues. 

OP needs to come to his own conclusions. Thats why I told him not to listen to anyones advice.
It's really up to his invidual expression and patterns and not something we can chose for him. 

Cheers

Edited July 13, 2022 by undeather

[Eph75]

32 minutes ago, undeather said:

OP needs to come to his own conclusions. That's why I told him not to listen to anyone's advice.
It's really up to his individual expression and patterns and not something we can chose for him. 

Absolutely.

I'd differentiate between listening to advice, gather information, and use what resonates best and matches best to oneself, than not listening to advice at all.

But I get what you mean, don't abide to anyone's advice, just use the input to gain more clarity to make better calls.

32 minutes ago, undeather said:

I really dislike this monotonous way of seeing complex issues. 

It all comes down to the root. The path to getting to the root is not one, and as you say, sometimes incorporating more than one.

Consciously doing so develops us.

[Clabber Girl]

If you're balding, I wouldn't worry about it. Just shave it. Most girls don't care if you're bald.

There are a ton of sexy bald guys out there and you can be one of them! 

[King Merk]

When I realized that I was balding I literally shaved my head bald just to get comfortable with the enevitable…

However I do find a buzzed look fits me well and the balding is much less noticeable 

[evgn]

Hair transplant is available, i think Turkey is realativly cheap destination for that purpose.

I had friend of mine who got bald at 18, so he was forced to do hair transplant and he is ok now.