On willpowering through life

[matcha]

I've been reflecting on my life following Leo's video on "How To Fall In Love With Life", and I feel like there's an aspect about personal development that I'm struggling with that I'd like to get some feedback on.

Just to give some basic information about me, I'm doing reasonably well in my life I'd say (just graduated from college with good grades in a high demand field and have a few accolades to my name too), yet I'm still extremely disillusioned with life and have trouble with a youtube addiction. I really appreciate the advice given by Leo to "want" to the degree of being willing to make sacrifices/work hard/go out & execute, but to some extent I feel as if acting this way has actually lead to a lot of my disillusionment in my particular situation. To be clear I think Leo's advice on having that kind of willpower (paraphrasing) is imperative especially for general audiences, but at the same time Leo did say to evaluate everything that makes you disillusioned with life and to take action about it (which is what I'm hoping to do).

I can think of countless situations where I really pushed for what I wanted, worked hard, made sacrifices, even had some level of success, only for me to feel empty and disillusioned about how I really didn't feel better about life. I still value every single time that I did it because I am much better off for it, but still, I haven't really gotten the 'ball rolling' in any particular way. I feel like I'm at point where that advice, as well as it has served me in building a foundation for myself, has hit a point of diminishing returns. I feel like here's where Leo's advice on just following a 'principle of right action' and just figuring out for myself how I should live might serve me well/better even if it means forgoing advice of others. I just can't really see a future for myself trying to will myself through life, though I can definitely see a future for myself where I'm working hard still, just not exercising as much willpower.

Again, not looking to say Leo is wrong (cuz maybe I just misunderstood him or maybe I'm just in a different kind of situation as a majority of others), just wondering if anyone else feels/has felt this way or if anyone has feedback.

[Realms of Wonder]

M-Maybe Leo is wrong?  

 

I feel you, it sounds frustrating, challenging, to feel that what has "worked" hasn't really led to the sustainable feelings you want.

 

In this particular situation, if you feel so much resistance to doing those things, and powering through has led you to feel empty and disillusioned, what is life trying to show you that you are not seeing?

 

• In my own life, willpower is less powerful and effective over the long run (months and years) then effective habits, systems and rituals.
• I have also noticed that if I have to exercise a ton of willpower to get something done, I may be trying to change too much, too fast, impatiently expecting results.
• There is a balance I am still learning to find, between effort, strategy and action, and letting life unfold, and surrendering to the process.

 

It sounds like you are on the right path! Stay strong, be true, much Love

[Leo Gura]

11 hours ago, matcha said:

I can think of countless situations where I really pushed for what I wanted, worked hard, made sacrifices, even had some level of success, only for me to feel empty and disillusioned about how I really didn't feel better about life.

Of course success will always leave you disillusioned, because success is just an illusion!

This is where the spiritual work begins! When you realize that no amount of self-help and success will make you satisfied.

You didn't get anything wrong. This is exactly as expected because the metaphysical/spiritual dimension is missing.

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I'm at point where that advice, as well as it has served me in building a foundation for myself, has hit a point of diminishing returns.

Yes, you will def hit diminishing results on survival and success.

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I feel like here's where Leo's advice on just following a 'principle of right action' and just figuring out for myself how I should live might serve me well/better even if it means forgoing advice of others. I just can't really see a future for myself trying to will myself through life

1) Now apply the principle of right action to your spiritual work.

2) Now get metaphysical. Get serious about deconstructing reality, self, and other.

To stop being disillusioned with life you need to fall in love with consciousness itself, it's infinite beauty.

3) Still keep deepening the do of the things you love. You can always deepen your love for life and for your work along the path of your life purpose. Life purpose is not just about being successful. It's really about doing what you love most in life.

"Willing your way through life" and grinding out life is NOT my advice. My advice is to get really serious about doing what you love. Then life stops being a grind.

- - - - - -

So, get to work!

[Ulax]

12 hours ago, matcha said:

I've been reflecting on my life following Leo's video on "How To Fall In Love With Life", and I feel like there's an aspect about personal development that I'm struggling with that I'd like to get some feedback on.

Just to give some basic information about me, I'm doing reasonably well in my life I'd say (just graduated from college with good grades in a high demand field and have a few accolades to my name too), yet I'm still extremely disillusioned with life and have trouble with a youtube addiction. I really appreciate the advice given by Leo to "want" to the degree of being willing to make sacrifices/work hard/go out & execute, but to some extent I feel as if acting this way has actually lead to a lot of my disillusionment in my particular situation. To be clear I think Leo's advice on having that kind of willpower (paraphrasing) is imperative especially for general audiences, but at the same time Leo did say to evaluate everything that makes you disillusioned with life and to take action about it (which is what I'm hoping to do).

I can think of countless situations where I really pushed for what I wanted, worked hard, made sacrifices, even had some level of success, only for me to feel empty and disillusioned about how I really didn't feel better about life. I still value every single time that I did it because I am much better off for it, but still, I haven't really gotten the 'ball rolling' in any particular way. I feel like I'm at point where that advice, as well as it has served me in building a foundation for myself, has hit a point of diminishing returns. I feel like here's where Leo's advice on just following a 'principle of right action' and just figuring out for myself how I should live might serve me well/better even if it means forgoing advice of others. I just can't really see a future for myself trying to will myself through life, though I can definitely see a future for myself where I'm working hard still, just not exercising as much willpower.

Again, not looking to say Leo is wrong (cuz maybe I just misunderstood him or maybe I'm just in a different kind of situation as a majority of others), just wondering if anyone else feels/has felt this way or if anyone has feedback.

I'd look into a depth psychotherapy. It sounds like you're in a really good place to get some real growth from it.

I personally like Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapy the most.

[JonasVE12]

Ultimately you desire clarity. But you won't find it with more seeking and future thinking, or endless self-reflection in thought. Your life is how it is. It may be a certain way, and you may wish it would be different. But can you be content anyways? Can you silence your forever seeking mind and just be still? Can you let go of all your goals and desires for a month? Can you then begin to learn to enjoy the sensations in your body when you still your mind? Can you literally just sit in a chair for a couple hours without the need to do anything and just observe? Can you spend some time in nature and let go of technology for that time? Maybe you can even enjoy doing nothing after some time. Just keep letting go and observing.

It's when you learn to enjoy silence that you understand that you don't need anything else to fulfill you. And so compulsive seeking ends. When you live with a stilled and centered mind, the present moment is already enough and it will feel whole to you. You'll feel a sense of warm comfort and serenity. And above all, you just feel clarity. Not in thinking. But in feeling. 

Any goal worth pursuing will come back up in your consciousness. From presence, you are in alignment with the feeling of creation. Creation will be discovered through the now and is all about the now. And so there is no 'willpower'. You just flow with what you are creating because you are not in resistance to the now. And if there are challenges, you will easily transcend them because when you are really present, you naturally have access to higher intelligence and you can shape the moment in so many creative ways to overcome what you need to overcome. The answers are already here. The question is just, how can you get rid of that fog your thinking mind is creating. Slow down your racing mind and you'll channel everything you need to know to be who you want to be and create what you want to create. 

[actuallyenlightened]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

"Willing your way through life" and grinding out life is NOT my advice. My advice is to get really serious about doing what you love. Then life stops being a grind.

Yes agreed. 

Your subconscious will keep self-sabotaging - you feeling disillusioned is one example of that happening right now. Willpower only works in the long term when you feel good about doing something. If you feel like shit willpower will only get you through a couple months max

[AlphaAbundance]

So your problems are mainly disillusionment and separately a youtube addiction.

On the disillusionment problem, you feel disillusioned with life, thinking about how every time you succeed at something, you don't achieve the happiness you want but instead feel empty.

Never lose your strength of willpower and "getting shit done", it is the only way you are going to get anything done. You can have willpower, but you have to direct it toward the right action. Just like how you can be strong but if you beat up the wrong person, it does no good. You may be working hard on the wrong goals. Expanding your values to include contribution, consciousness, and craft, as well as passion could be part of the solution.

On the youtube addition problem, you watch youtube videos when you don't want to, and know the same bullshit regurgitated ass content won't benefit you.

Building your agenda and overall vision for your life aswell as focusing on overall optimization could benefit you. Once you build clarity on your overall life breakdown (including goals, dimensions, values, needs, etc.) it will be clear that mindlessly watching videos has no place in getting you where you want to go, and compel you to avoid it. Replace the activity, with productive focused action toward your long-term goals. When looking at the optimization angle, you can ask yourself "Is watching YouTube the best possible act I could be partaking in right now?". And once you get the answer, you can act accordingly.

 

Edited July 9, 2022 by AlphaAbundance

[matcha]

Thanks for all the responses! I honestly feel a lot different just knowing there's a community of people here trying to support others. I'm starting to explore love and consciousness as many of you have recommended, and I'm getting some positive feedback already (ex. some the work I'm doing seems more meaningful, I feel a little more in-tune with a sense of purpose, I've been able to lay off the youtube and not particularly miss it, I feel more sure of myself and the future).

I'm definitely curious about what @JonasVE12 and @JoeVolcano are saying about letting go (paraphrasing) in a deep/spiritual way which I've never particular gotten the hang of.

I hope to be a positive part of this community and return the kindness everyone has shown me!