Vivaldo

A weird scenario with me....

36 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Hey there! 

The thing is that, I am a fairly good looking guy. Also what other people tell me. There have been many instances where girls would be just staring at my face and when I look back them, they pretend to look somewhere else?. Once I was walking down  the floor to take a seat and 5 girls were staring at me and they were commenting about how I look and so on.

But the issue is although there have been countless instances where women would be apparently drooling over me. Period. But there has yet not even been one incident where even one of them approached me!  

I don't get it? Do women never make the first move? Do they always freaking wait for the guy to initiate? I guess that really weird that no girl has approached me ever, even though it was clear that they like me.

Can you guys give some clarity around this issue? And any such personal experiences?

Edited by Vivaldo

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Posted (edited)

@Vivaldo  Yes, they usually wait for the guy to initiate. So you have to step up or miss 98% of your dating opportunities.

The reason is that your ability to initiate is part of what proves to her that you are worth dating.

Taking initiative and being courageous is an important part of what makes you attractive to her.Courage and initiative are an important part of what makes men attractive.

Less so for women: I bet you'd be fine with dating a girl who is not as brave as you but has other attractive qualities ;)

This is the reason that it's usually the guy who makes the first move.

However, really it's the woman who makes the first move by looking at you ;)

Edited by flowboy

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5 minutes ago, flowboy said:

@Vivaldo  Yes, they usually wait for the guy to initiate. So you have to step up or miss 98% of your dating opportunities.

The reason is that your ability to initiate is part of what proves to her that you are worth dating.

Taking initiative and being courageous is an important part of what makes you attractive to her.Courage and initiative are an important part of what makes men attractive.

Less so for women: I bet you'd be fine with dating a girl who is not as brave as you but has other attractive qualities ;)

This is the reason that it's usually the guy who makes the first move.

However, really it's the woman who makes the first move by looking at you ;)

Ok that brings some clarity 

But how do I know if they are looking because they are curious or they are drooling on me? 

I usually feel like their look is kinda seductive so that tells me that they like me.... But I can't say for sure

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Be ready to take rejections. But after a few rejections (this can be any number), you can eventually meet an interested person and start a relationship. 

If you are good looking, your chances are even better. You could be holding back because of shyness or fear of rejection. 

But that's okay. Even girls reject out of fear and shyness. You only have to keep approaching till you find a girl who says yes. 

Start that chapter now and don't make it late. Fall in love, enjoy life

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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I can't remember where I read this, it might have been something Leo said:

"Women don't want looks, women want a man"

If you look good you have a significant advantage but you can totally nullify that by not having masculine personality qualities like the confidence to go and talk to a girl

I also look pretty good, and I'm very tall too, but it's very rare I'd get approached. It's happened a few times and it's usually been girls I'm not that into, it usually tends to be quite masculine girls

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1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Be ready to take rejections. But after a few rejections (this can be any number), you can eventually meet an interested person and start a relationship. 

If you are good looking, your chances are even better. You could be holding back because of shyness or fear of rejection. 

But that's okay. Even girls reject out of fear and shyness. You only have to keep approaching till you find a girl who says yes. 

Start that chapter now and don't make it late. Fall in love, enjoy life

 

 

Thanks ? 

?

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Posted (edited)

@Vivaldo I made the same mistake hundred of times and I'll most likely still make it of not doing anything when girls look at me. I get consistently asked if I have a girlfriend. That I look good. That I am handsome. When I was jacked I had girls saying out aloud omg this guy must be gay I read that this basically means she is already thinking sexually about you and can't believe you don't have a girl etc. One guy said I should work as a model, yet whatever.

Same when I am going out currently some girls start making eye contact and I've read now that it basically is a good opportunity to engage in conversation even in public for example girl sitting infront of you in a bus/subway when there are clearly others places and the bus is relatively empty. 

As well as when a girl is unable to look you into the eyes completely she already is showing interest as she is hidden her attraction towards you, being shy etc. When she keeps making eye contact for a prolonged time and then looks away that definitely is an invitation for conversation. Some trivial scenarios as well as some counter-perspectives. 

I went out with a friend of mine he is a very high vibe guy and at the sametime relaxed and chill. He can dance quiet well. So he told when he goes clubbing and starts dancing with friends and he turns up, dance battles start happening and he get's challenge he declines he is not that good. Sometimes girls come to him for dancing as well. Another example is when we were out dancing together in some club we were 3 tall good looking dudes. One girl with her friend approached him and wanted to spend him a drink, he did not like it that she ghosted him. For some reason and just declined, yet she kept initiating for like good 1-2 minutes and he had to look away and ignore her. I jumped in and started dancing with her friend to build sort of a group, she was quiet receptive, yet he did not like her so they moved on. He was also approached and he is not jacked just good looking, and yeah tall. By some smoking hot girl when he was on a bike from the gym ( he lost a lot of weight) he was approached by her she screamed some stuff out of the car. Like I could not believe the story we went out on the sameday he rejected the other girl. He rejected this one either by not staying she invited him over for beer and he wanted to dance, she said she'll come up. Yet this idiot from my point of view misaligned interests. She already approached him! And he does not comply. As he wanted to go his own way and do what he wants. They wanted to meet never meet again. This sometimes can happen if you go out alot.

My example was I was went into a club and started making eye contact some were more receptive and one girl kept looking at me, yet I did not approach her as I did not know that this "should" be an invitation for conversation. I approached other girls and got my friend laid through that. I am also legit scared when a girl makes eye contact as to engage especially when I am alone with others in public, like waiting in line even to get into a club. I have girls checking me out. You could easily approach, yet I feel paralyzed almost sometimes.

Another example just being social. Last saturday I went out with a friend who has a pull rate till now of 90% or so it's rather shocking. He fucked the same girl twice that day and one other girl he took home. He was also approached by a girl as I was standing infront of him as "excuse" to be social. He approached a couple of girls, yet we already had two with us. Still since he is so social the same girls keep gravitating to him if everbody chickens out or she is just pleased by the guy. I approached 0. I tried to physical escalate with one, basically while walking put my arms around her and pulled her into me after talking a bit. She was quiet receptive that was shocking to me. Anyway the guy basically just does nothing besides being social and going for the pull. At one point saying let's go to your place and let's go etc. I am done. He noticed the one girl was blowing the beer bottle and she pushed him into the toilett twice and fucked him twice in a strip club... It was a bit wild. He also looks good and is approx. the same height as you with 5'10-5'11. He also texted other girls while out to see what is still up, so he can get laid. Still was mostly being social and went to high vibe areas. He also greets a lot of the bar owners and waitresses and talks with them. Which get's him access into clubs faster. Talking and dancing with women basically. It's rather insane going out with the dude in a shitty area and he really really does nothing besides being social and fun, and escalating as well as a bit leading. I do more leading tbh, but okay.

I do think this subtle signals like blowing the bottle, longer eye contact are clear indicators she is interested, so talking is the best thing you can do. I barely talked so I did not get anything. 

My observation was talking to girls makes you look social, so girls feel less judged if they approach and talk to you or give you IOT as well as this is social proof in a sense especially when you talk longer with a girl or escalate. 


TLDR; It's an IOT (indicator of interest) for conversation and just approaching. With the group of 5 no idea, they could be giggling as out of interest/fantasy. Same with girls calling me gay out of a group. 

Hope this is not to long and readable.:D

Edited by ValiantSalvatore

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@Vivaldo Did you just make a post to brag? ? Joking...

Well, yeah, girls would  wait for guys to take the lead. It's attractive when a guy knows what he wants (especially good looking guy, like you) and goes after that.

It is how it is. 

Girls approaching is rare thing.

I approached once and the guy I went out with for a drink didn't seem too engaging afterwards (or even during a "date", because he didn't ask me any questions back) and when I told my friend group, they all got surprised that I was the one who approached and that "he should have at least be more thankful because it rarely happens". 

But oh well. 

I guess I wouldn't be too enthusiastic to do that again (that doesn't mean I won't ever do it again). Mainly because I think a guy should do it. I can only help him by giving him hints.

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Posted (edited)

@somegirl honestly speaking ?️ 

I think if a girl likes someone. Period. And she doesn't not approach the person simply because it is a manly thing and it's convention, it is imo the stupidest thing ever! I don't know if it something egotistical or if girls wanna act like queens that they are no good without getting approached. What is it? Just because it is not common so one wouldn't do it? I think that is silly as hell. 

Relax girl! I am not bragging ? I not gonna get laid from this forum.lol

 

Edited by Vivaldo

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yea it sucks

i also wish women would approach more

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@ValiantSalvatore I read your post.

Honestly being a fine looking guy it really sucks to be a virgin at age 19?.

Ok I will try to talk with them if they are staring. I also get scared if a girl looks at me while there are people around me. Once a girl was looking at me as if she is bewildered! As if I am a supersaiyan or something ??.  

Girlssssssss appppppproach us please ?.

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Posted (edited)

23 minutes ago, Vivaldo said:

@ValiantSalvatore I read your post.

Ok I will try to talk with them if they are staring. I also get scared if a girl looks at me while there are people around me. Once a girl was looking at me as if she is bewildered! As if I am a supersaiyan or something ??.  

maybe you had something on your face, like chocolate or an insect or something

 

jk

 

i also get uncomfortable if women stare too much, also don't think i look good often, maybe it's also just a type of narcissism that i think women often stare at me but i feel like they're looking at me like a hungry person looks at breakfast or brunch often

 

but internet dating isn't great for me so i think more it's my purpletree aura in real life than looks on pictures etc. ?

 

Edited by PurpleTree

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Posted (edited)

@Vivaldo

29 minutes ago, Vivaldo said:

Ok I will try to talk with them if they are staring. I also get scared if a girl looks at me while there are people around me. Once a girl was looking at me as if she is bewildered! As if I am a supersaiyan or something ??.  

Lmao, maybe you are one! I am in the same boat in terms of approaching most guys have approach anxiety you are not alone here. I never really gamed, yet just being social and talking helped me a lot to be calm around super hot women. Definitely use the chance when an attractive girl checks you out and keeps prolonged eye contact and ask for he number, you can easily from then on initate a meet up with her/conversation. For bowling, coffee, a drink. Do fun stuff! Have fun doing this and activities that are fun for you. It's your life mate! Be couragous and bold. This stuff definitely hurts. Get the number 100%.

I regret one approach for example a couple of weeks ago as she checked us out and she was totally my type. I am also not used to approaching as I focused so much on online-dating. 

Edited by ValiantSalvatore

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  • 11 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

    What does 'jk' mean?

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

ooks good and is approx. the same height as you with 5'10-5'11

Ok bro. Do you think 5'10 is a tall height? Do  women in general find it tall in your circle?

Edited by Vivaldo

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4 minutes ago, Vivaldo said:
  •  

it means just kidding broski

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1 hour ago, Vivaldo said:

And she doesn't not approach the person simply because it is a manly thing and it's convention, it is imo the stupidest thing ever! I don't know if it something egotistical or if girls wanna act like queens that they are no good without getting approached. What is it? Just because it is not common so one wouldn't do it? I think that is silly as hell. 

I think girls don't approach because it is said in a society that "a man should take the lead". Just my guess. Though I would approach if I find someone very very good looking, which doesn't happen often. But I would for sure be hesitant... 

1 hour ago, Vivaldo said:

I am not bragging

Is that you on your pfp? ?

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