Having guilt for taking too much Psychedelics?

[Vincent S]

This is stuck to me, honestly. I dont know how to get rid of this feeling.
But I have had crazy awakenings and seen some stuff that cannot be unseen on Pyschedelics.
Whoever have had similar experiences, know what I am talking about. I dont really need to go in to detail about them.

I have had a few 5 meo dmt trips, around 4-5 times. 10 ish LSD trips with average of 3-4 tabs.
I have done ayahuasca 3 times. San pedro once. MDMA + LSD twice, and a few mushroom trips here and there.
This is what I have done under a year.

A part of me feels guilt for not taking more time integrating these realizations/experiences and true insights.
Because they are so big and gamechaning. Especially the last two LSD trips (God-Realization and realizing No Self)
Obviously these two are peak experiences. I am not there all the time. Allthough I do get buzzed in those states sometimes
during day to day life.

Am I fooling myself here? Have I done too much? Is this only the begining?
I have heard Leo saying in one of his vids that: "20x trips is the beginning. You havent really reached deep waters yet."


 

Edited January 16, 2022 by Vincent S

[softlyblossoming]

@Vincent S Hi, Vincent. 

1. Stop taking them frequently and feel good because you're not making the same mistake anymore. Now the lesson was both learned and the learning was acted upon, so you don't have any valid reasons left to feel bad.

2. Now that you are happy again, and without fully losing connection to that peace you are feeling, conduct an investigation into if you feel bad because of what happened or because of an unconscious fear of making the same mistake in the future.

3. If the former, remind yourself (using whatever words actually convince you of this) that you can't change the past. If the latter, recognise that you actually won't make that mistake anymore because (a) you learned your lesson and (b) you acted on it, therefore (c) your fear was irrational and this means that there is no valid reason to continue feeling it.

"Never mind, start again." —S.N. Goenka

[Vincent S]

Actually WOW. Absolutely amazing! Thank you so much for your answer! I really do appreciate it!
Your comment deeply penetrated in to the heart of the feeling I was attached with.
And yes, there was a few mistakes along the way. But that has been seen clearly now.
It is an unconscious fear of making that same mistake again. And that has to be let go of.

Edited January 16, 2022 by Vincent S

[Thought Art]

As long as you have healthy protocols and space these things out, and follow an integration protocol you should may be good.

Really, if you are stable and everything you could do 5meo once every two weeks... Some people probably do it once a week.

In different videos Leo has said once a week, others he has said once every two weeks. You can't be too strict, but also you have to be wise and remain grounded.

Someone like Martin Ball has a totally different approach (He used it far more frequently) but that is highly warned against.

Ideally, really... once 1 month is probably the best. But, also going long periods completely sober is really important. 

We are all different. Maybe for you once every 2 months is better. Maybe once a year. It really depends on you. 

Don't let the guilt become toxic, just learn and grow. 

There is a maturing phase as we grow as individuals and learn to use the tools healthily and constructively.

As long as you are stable, paying your bills, maintaining healthy relationships, maintaining a sane grounding on reality... I don't know.

Edited January 16, 2022 by Thought Art

[Leo Gura]

You're just getting started.

I am 200+ trips in and still having deeper awakenings.

People who have done less than 100 trips are clueless children.

[Vincent S]

@Thought Art Thank you so much for you answer! much appreciated!

I have had periods where I take them once every two weeks. I havent done it more frequent than that.
It was mostly when I needed understanding and higher perspective on why things were the way they were in life.
I was tired of my limited perspective, and that was pulling a strain on my being.

I havent had a super rough life. I dont have issues with health (other than the time during my prev job), mental health, economic situation, or relationships. I have a really good life, when I think about it. I am very grateful for it.

But I think that the journey and all these awakenings went on pretty fast. I should have maybe been a bit more careful and
taken the time in-between these trips. Also meditation was something I did a lot of during that period. So it was a double boost
of Consciousness and change of states for me. At times I could feel my body not being able to keep up with the changes.
Also that time, as previously mentioned: I was a bit stressed from work, didnt eat enough, and exercised too much.
Balance was something I really took for granted. And I do advise others to take Balance more seriously, in whatever area of life.

25 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Don't let the guilt become toxic, just learn and grow

I really should work on this area, so I am not so easily persuaded by these thought loops/emotions.
Indeed, learning and growing

31 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

There is a maturing phase as we grow as individuals and learn to use the tools healthily and constructively.

Yes!

32 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Someone like Martin Ball has a totally different approach (He used it far more frequently) but that is highly warned against.

Indeed. I dont know how some people do it. Some people really go all out and hardcore this. Saw a guy on youtube that was diving back in and doing back to back 5meo's, Like 3-4 times in a row.

[Vynce]

@Leo Gura How can they get deeper? How can you ever realize something beyond Love? I know this question came up here a lot, but you also say that you are just a beginner at this work from the highest perspective. From what perspective? Its all Love isn't it?

[Vincent S]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You're just getting started.

I am 200+ trips in and still having deeper awakenings.

Thats mindblowing! 200 trips and still deepening.

Have you felt these things along the way, Leo? I cant remember if you mentioned anything other
than having good protocols in your vids on Psychedelics.
But did you experience things going too fast? Or was it smooth all the way, due to your long journey and
selv-development before you started Psychedelics?

[Girzo]

@Vincent S I have been watching the channel since 2015 and I remember Leo has had something like months-long periods without psychedelics.

[Vincent S]

10 minutes ago, Girzo said:

@Vincent S I have been watching the channel since 2015 and I remember Leo has had something like months-long periods without psychedelics.

Thank you! Now that you mentioned it, I do also remember something like that. Vids from the early days.
I guess it just boils down to: Retreating back, learning from mistakes like @Thought Art said: And to continue with a new and a better approach. Give yourself the time you need to rest and integrate, and call back as they say.

Edited January 16, 2022 by Vincent S

[Thought Art]

32 minutes ago, Vincent S said:

@Thought Art

Indeed. I dont know how some people do it. Some people really go all out and hardcore this. Saw a guy on youtube that was diving back in and doing back to back 5meo's, Like 3-4 times in a row.

Some people recommend more than one trip in a session as they change in quality as you grow into the state. 5meo is unique in that way because it lasts rather short.

Just don't abuse psychedelics. If you do, realize it and change. Take a break. Take your lessons and teach others. 

Don't hurt yourself or others.

Be a good role model for these tools.

Edited January 16, 2022 by Thought Art

[Leo Gura]

35 minutes ago, Vynce said:

@Leo Gura How can they get deeper? How can you ever realize something beyond Love? I know this question came up here a lot, but you also say that you are just a beginner at this work from the highest perspective. From what perspective? Its all Love isn't it?

I don't know how. It just gets deeper, fuller, clearer.

Consciousness seems to have no top.

32 minutes ago, Vincent S said:

But did you experience things going too fast? Or was it smooth all the way, due to your long journey and
selv-development before you started Psychedelics?

Early on I did have things go too fast.

But nowadays, if anything, I don't trip nearly as much as I should. I could trip every day and it would be fine as long the doses were not too high. But I don't do that. You should def not do that as a newbie, as you would start to lose your mind and your life would unravel.

[Vincent S]

1 minute ago, Thought Art said:

Sometimes you wanna go back in  anything more than 2 or 3 in a session is substance abuse imo (2 snorts is ideal)

I mean, from my perspective. Thats just overkill.
But im rather sensetive to psychedelics. Doesnt take much to fly off. Especially when its mixed with meditation.

[Vincent S]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Early on I did have things go too fast.

But nowadays, if anything, I don't trip nearly as much as I should.

I guess "life unfolds in Chapters & Phases"

[Leo Gura]

When I hear people saying they've taken enough psychedelics, that they "get it", I just laugh.

[Daniel347]

41 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You're just getting started.

I am 200+ trips in and still having deeper awakenings.

People who have done less than 100 trips are clueless children.

are you planning on making videos about your latest awakenings?

[Thought Art]

8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You should def not do that as a newbie, as you would start to lose your mind and your life would unravel.

When you are a newbie, the state and it's implications can be so confusing, especially with Leo's teachings. Your ego mind will try to use it, create false stories and all your neurosis, ignorance, wishful thinkings etc can create a storm for you if you do it too often.

Er of the side of caution for the first few years of tripping. There is plenty of sober work to do (Qigong, journaling, reading, life purpose, education, upgrading systems for living, Yoga, Meditation, breathwork, etc). 

"Take the poison of your age

Don't lick your fingers when you turn the page

It was wrong but you said it was right

In the future I will read at night..."

 

Edited January 16, 2022 by Thought Art

[Vincent S]

8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

When I hear people saying they've taken enough psychedelics, that they "get it", I just laugh.

I can imagine that
I mean, I just started with this. Coming close to a year now. Hopefully it unfolds in to a greater understanding in the coming years.

8 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

When you are a newbie, the state and it's implications can be so confusing, especially with Leo's teachings. Your ego mind will try to use it, create false stories and all your neurosis, ignorance, wishful thinkings etc can create a storm for you if you do it too often.

Er of the side of caution for the first few years of tripping. There is plenty of sober work to do (Qigong, journaling, reading, life purpose, education, upgrading systems for living, Yoga, Meditation, breathwork, etc). 

Indeed. Going forward with Balance. And building a stronger foundation to be able to go further. Its a marathon as they say. Not a sprint.
 

[JosephKnecht]

3 hours ago, Vincent S said:

seen some stuff that cannot be unseen on Pyschedelics.

It is not about what you see. 

It is about what you become! 

[Loving Radiance]

41 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I could trip every day and it would be fine as long the doses were not too high. But I don't do that. You should def not do that as a newbie, as you would start to lose your mind and your life would unravel.

Because they have no epistemic foundation to ground themselves in or do you mean something else?

Edited January 16, 2022 by Loving Radiance