Describing Feelings

[Preety_India]

I know what you are going through. Your culture is also partially responsible for it. 

Mónee, you have been emotionally repressed and suppressed by your environment, I'm not sure if this happens in every German family but that left aside, your own family has caged you emotionally. That's not good..

I can't advice you to move out because the home is the safest place during a pandemic and the pandemic is not over yet. I'm always worried for you. 

Please be safe hun. 

Sometimes I might be asleep and I might not be able to respond in time. But as soon as I wake up I will look through your stuff and I'll know. 

Hun keep expressing yourself. This is your greatest medicine. I'll help you open up more and more. It's really needed. Your family is being so fucking mechanical, it saddens me more than it amuses. 

In Germany it seems that everything is all about power and self will. Like if someone has a problem, there might be some victim blaming going on with a lot of emphasis on "you need to handle this" instead of "how can we help you"... It seems that kind of environment can cause bottling up of emotions my honey. 

But I'm with you my sweet pineapple.. 

[Marcel]

@Preety_India

Thank you hun ❤️
It means a lot 

*Hugs and feels exhausted after crying my eyes out earlier 

I love you 

 

[Preety_India]

Hun your laughter is so cute, I captured it. 

 

 

 

Your laugh is sweet music to my ears. Will listen to it early morning every day. 

 

Edited January 8, 2022 by Preety_India

[Marcel]

@Preety_India

Thanks hun  ?

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel wait I'll put it in my signature so it always stays with me. 

Should we both have the same signature

I'll send you the link in personal messenger and you can add it to your signature as well

Or copy this link here. 

https://youtu.be/gRi9WinIbTU

 

Edited January 8, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Marcel hun go to account. Then account settings - then signature in the edit area and then paste link and click display link only. 

In signature you can only have 1 link. 

2 links for mods 

 

Edited January 8, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Marcel Yay. Now we have a sweet video shared between us. 

[Marcel]

5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Marcel Yay. Now we have a sweet video shared between us. 

Yay ?

*Incoorporates in morning routine 

Don’t know how I managed to miss the settings area while doing that lol

I guess I missed the forest because of all the trees ? ? as they say ?

Edited January 8, 2022 by Marcel

[Marcel]

So yesterday has been a day of emotional turmoil. But it’s good I finally got some of it out.

My way of dealing with emotions is still very “explosive”. I just bottle things up for so long I just fall apart one day. Like yesterday.

This is something I seriously need to work on. It’s draining. It’s exhausting and I’m pretty sure it’s unhealthy as well.

I will continue this journal daily. I want to dig deep into myself slowly. I usually try to go to deep to fast and it frightens me so I feel paralyzed and anxious to the point I stop …

Be gentle to yourself Marcel. It’s okay. Give yourself all the time and space you need.

 

[Preety_India]

44 minutes ago, Marcel said:

Be gentle to yourself Marcel. It’s okay. Give yourself all the time and space you need.

Gently comforts my sweet darling. 

[RickyFitts]

6 hours ago, Marcel said:

My way of dealing with emotions is still very “explosive”. I just bottle things up for so long I just fall apart one day. Like yesterday.

Do you do any spiritual practices like yoga or meditation? As I see it, these practices are ways of gradually releasing the pressure so that you don't have these explosions - kind of like a controlled explosion as opposed to, y'know, Chernobyl. There's a whole physiological component to emotional repression that can't be dealt with in a purely mental way, I don't think, which is why these sorts of practices are so important imo.

[Marcel]

4 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

Do you do any spiritual practices like yoga or meditation? As I see it, these practices are ways of gradually releasing the pressure so that you don't have these explosions - kind of like a controlled explosion as opposed to, y'know, Chernobyl. There's a whole physiological component to emotional repression that can't be dealt with in a purely mental way, I don't think, which is why these sorts of practices are so important imo.

Yeah I’m all to familiar with Chernobyl and I would definitely prefer more controlled explosions in the future hehe 

I do meditation, although be it a bit inconsistent from time to time. I find it difficult to stay present. I often observe myself shying away from the present moment. 

I agree these practices are important I feel

 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Marcel said:

Yeah I’m all to familiar with Chernobyl and I would definitely prefer more controlled explosions in the future hehe 

I do meditation, although be it a bit inconsistent from time to time. I find it difficult to stay present. I often observe myself shying away from the present moment. 

I agree these practices are important I feel

 

 

.. Sits with you and meditates. Although can't give guarantee that I won't be distracted. I might poke in between. 

 

11 hours ago, Marcel said:

Be gentle to yourself Marcel. It’s okay. Give yourself all the time and space you need.

[Preety_India]

@Marcel I might even tickle you but before that I know what you'll do. 

[Marcel]

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Marcel I might even tickle you but before that I know what you'll do. 

Yeah please poke me hun ? Makes meditating a whole lot more exciting lol 

*Confusedly scrambles a bit because he doesn’t get the reference and is a bit of a forgetful dufus right now ?

[RickyFitts]

5 hours ago, Marcel said:

Yeah I’m all to familiar with Chernobyl and I would definitely prefer more controlled explosions in the future hehe 

Heh, you and me both 

5 hours ago, Marcel said:

I do meditation, although be it a bit inconsistent from time to time. I find it difficult to stay present. I often observe myself shying away from the present moment. 

Most people do, myself included - that's just part of the process though, it's not a problem  Self-forgiveness and non-judgment of self are such important qualities to develop on the path to healing, I've found in my own experience; to me, meditation is as much as anything the practise of self-acceptance, it's not about attempting to have a particular experience (like having a quiet mind or feeling peaceful, say).

[Preety_India]

19 hours ago, Marcel said:

I will continue this journal daily.

Please continue journaling everyday, my sweet crispy creme cute knuffigen donut. Lub lub. 

 

 

 

Edited January 10, 2022 by Preety_India

[Marcel]

I’ve just realised the a lot of the unhandlable craziness in my mind stems from me giving it too much attention in the first place.

Too much focus on doubts, insecurities, the past, judgments.

Yesterday I watched a video from Rupert Spira. I can’t recall the name of it right now but in it he explained that letting go is something completely natural and automatically. Something that awareness does by itself ready.

Think about this. Can you hold on to any experience in your life? No you can’t. Except of course if you cling to it mentally which causes issues, possibly the ones I am describing.

Everything constantly continues flowing. The past is a river you travelled long ago. If you give negative past events too much attention they might become an all drowning wave. Let the river be where it is. It has its place and no amount of mental past river diving will change that.

[Marcel]

6 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

Self-forgiveness and non-judgment of self are such important qualities to develop on the path to healing

? Agreed. I wish stuff like this would be taught in school. It’s so important 

I’ve just realised I always make a bit of a struggle out of meditation. I have been so focused on “trying to be present” and beating myself up for it (lmao) that i kinda missed the point of doing it in the first place. 
 

[Marcel]

@RickyFitts

I swear the universe is listening to me hehe

The video was posted 12 hours ago.

Unbelievable 

 

Edited January 10, 2022 by Marcel