Marcel

Describing Feelings

241 posts in this topic

@Marcel your new profile picture is so cute. 

Hugs. Kuss. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Marcel your new profile picture is so cute. 

Hugs. Kuss. 

Yours too hun bun. My flowery Beauty ?

*Kusses schnuggingly ?


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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3 minutes ago, Marcel said:

Yours too hun bun. My flowery Beauty ?

*Kusses schnuggingly ?

*jumps in happy. Kisses.. 

 

61sm44.gif

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Private entries of Marcel about school. 

*Notes down everything my pineapple says. 

In my teen years I found it very difficult to relate and interact with anyone. I rarely ever talked. I never raised my hand in class. I felt totally incapable of anything, still kinda today, it’s a bit better over all, you give me a lot of confidence

I always felt like my life doesn’t go anywhere. I was good in school, but the whole idea of following what I was told made me sick. It’s like you weren’t allowed to think for yourself or at least only in the predetermined topics. I felt very trapped and unable to escape and everyone just went along with it.

In Society there only seem to be two ways. Work or go to university

Everything else is just discarded and a “waste of time”

It turns down personal development completely. It’s like your punished for doing what feels good or right to soul

In an ideal world children should be allowed to open up in school and talk about what they want and then helped to achieve that

The idea that you can force a bunch of stuff down someone’s throat and call it education is so absurd

I feel that school actively destroyed my love of learning

I often felt like running away and then I felt terrified about that idea at the same time, because of endless what if’s

I guess we could call school chuild abuse. I always found the dynamic of teacher and student so weird.

It feels incredibly painful if you can’t live up to societal goal posts. It’s absurd to me that there is so much fuss around school and grades. It’s insane.

Nowadays I at least understand that it’s all ego and a worldview age old and unchanged

What I feel very passionate about is figuring out what the ideal school system should be. What do we actually need to learn

I think there’s too much focus on just knowledge as if it were the end all be all. It should be holistic and give them their own process

Absolutely and grades don’t really say much. It leaves out everything that isn’t about memory lol

You can’t measure how I don’t know good someone is with their hands for example

It’s so infuriating. 

I almost feel like I’ve been traumatised by school in a way. Don’t want to sound over dramatic, but I’m sure mental health can’t be to good if you feel completely out of place and feel like what you are doing is a waste of time. 

And that doesn’t factor in bullying and stuff. 

 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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So sweet hun ❤️

Kusss ? I love you my sweet honeyheart 


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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@Marcel you are my Lavender. I'm your Periwinkle. 

You're my penguin and my panda and my chunky cat.. I'm your silly Corgi. 

 

61tmdk.jpg

 

Edited by Preety_India

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@Preety_India

Takes a romantic walk with you my cute pup 

I Kuss you ? I love you my sweet peach ? 


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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10 minutes ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

Takes a romantic walk with you my cute pup 

I Kuss you ? I love you my sweet peach ? 

I might die with so much love. Let me die in your arms please. 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

I might die with so much love. Let me die in your arms please. 

*Holds you in my arms and dies with you


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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Made something for you. 

 

61y04l.gif

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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@Marcel when I'm with you I feel like... 

 

61y56j.gif

 

61y04l.gif

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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 @Preety_India
 

Oh wow so sweet ?

????


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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Consistency. Yikes I skipped posting twice.

I need to be more consistent. I do consistently work out at least. But that’s like almost the only thing I am consistent in 

Ive always been a bit of a chaotic character that didn’t make friends with deadlines generally and skirted by them barely most of the time.

Order is not exactly my staple. I do things on time. Just more with madness then with method if anything.


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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623yhp.jpg

 

 

627dvv.gif

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I slowly feel like I’m a new self. Slowly.

I still tend to have trouble opening up and in conversation words just don’t leave my mouth sometimes. It feels like my entire being just freezes. Not in an uncomfortable way really. It does feel like a disconnect between what I’m trying to say and my ability to say it as if you would plugged the power cable on a computer. 

Something that I definitely need to work in is self sabotage. I do it A whole lot and it threads through my life  in many situations. 

My issue has never really been that I wasn’t good / decent at something. I just quit at some point, especially after successes. Right before or After.


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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Stop waiting for „movie moments“.

I describe „movie moments“ as the idea  or feeling like there will be some massive magical positive change or breakthrough in our life out of nowhere for no particular reason.Like a movie scene, that’s all beautifully edited and underpinned with music and special effects. As if bells would ring if you have „achieved“ certain milestones in life. Like, getting your dream job or marrying, or „small“ successes like  eating healthy or cutting to much sugar, or even to just reach the decision to do so.

Every Day Life seems ordinary. The challenge is to find the mystical and majestic in seemingly ordinary things. Take your eyes. Your vision. Isn’t it absolute mind boggling that you can open your eyes and there is a whole world, a whole universe out there?

I often wonder how much impact we have on the whole process that is unraveling in front of our eyes. How powerful can a decision be? How much can one idea change? What exactly is our responsibility? How does everything interact and relate to everything else? 

My thought process for a couple of years has now been that I need to figure out how reality fundamentally works and aligning my life with this understanding. It feels like an unbearable  task and it hinders my ability to have every day „normal“ conversations, because my thoughts are in the philosophical clouds so to speak.

I know that eventually everything will beautifully wrap into each other and it makes sense, but for the moment everything feels quite confusing and I need to find my course. 

 

 

 


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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Feeling a bit sick this weekend.

Soar throat, runny noise, sneezing. Might have gotten myself a cold or something. I don’t know how i managed to do that, since I was pretty much home all the time and everyone I interacted with  isn’t sick ( as far as I’m aware of )

Welp. *Thinks healthy thoughts as best as he can and takes a bit off a step back from working out 

My anxiety levels have over all dropped. Their still significant and I tend to feel paralyzed in conversations, but it’s getting better. I don’t lose the thread as often as I used to and i also don’t fall into „anxiety silence“. 

The next topic is just a thought a way so no panic. I find it difficult to have normal every day conversation, for some reason I have the expectation that every conversation needs to be mindblowing or enlightening in a way, which in turn creates pressure for me, because I of course  would like to contribute or start conversations like this and more often then not Leads me to have anxiety hehe 

A bit of a funny Bind. Im probably just standing in my own way ( again ) ?


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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Right now my biggest struggle is that I wrote an endless amount of concepts and ideas but Its difficult to implement them because I find myself short on energy and time. Also I'm not finding a valid way of implementing my own concepts in my life, it feels there is just too much pending and I haven't got enough time to manage my concepts, it is making me upset and anxious because I don't want my conceptual hard work to simply stay on paper like an incomplete Unfinished dream. I want to actually use all these concepts and bring radical changes in life. 

I'm constantly falling sick, my health is shitty, and my discipline is absurd, plus constantly dealing with family issues never leaves me any room or time to actually get things done 

As a result I'm frustrated. It feels like I am a movie director wrote the whole plot or storyline for my movie but my movie is not going into production and is constantly suffering delays due to silly reasons sabotaging it. That's how I feel. 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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 You do have a lot of amazing concepts and ideas hun I agree.

Maybe you can go through all of them, decide which is the most important one to you and start implementing it, so production can at least begin. Besides once you’ve established and implemented one concept the next follows and flows more easily.

One step at at the time my cute pup @Preety_India

 


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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@Marcel  looks adoringly at your deep blue eyes. 

 

62fg79.gif

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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