How should your game differ if you want a LTR?

[Jennjenn]

1 minute ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I love this woww. Definitely going to remember this.

Of course my dear, that’s why I prefer men who chase me. The foreplay is ongoing. Delicious! 

[Flowerfaeiry]

@Jennjenn yum!!

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, museumoftrees said:

do you personally find it a good thing to the text the following day?

It's fine to text whenever. Just don't be too needy, clingy, or fawning over her.

Your level of texting should match hers. If she's slow to respond, don't text too much. Give her space to come to you.

If she's very responsive and invested, you can mirror that.

[Jennjenn]

15 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

@Jennjenn yum!!

[aurum]

7 hours ago, museumoftrees said:

I'm curious on what @aurum & @Leo Gura have to say on the matter

You can experiment with the “player approach” that is Leo is describing and is advocated by most puas. Play the field a lot, and wait for one of the girls you’re seeing to choose you. Then if you want to date her as well, cut off the rest of the girls. But otherwise you don’t treat her any different than any other girl you’re seeing.

This approach does in fact work. You can get a very attractive girl who you deeply connect with to fall head over heels for you this way. And that’s because you’ve flipped all the investment dynamics in your favor. She will be chasing you. She might be jealous of other girls you are seeing or she imagines you might be seeing. She might even explicitly text you for sex and you’re so blasé that you forget to answer her.

One of my problems though with this “player approach” is that it can cause problems down the line. You’re setting up a pattern where she is constantly chasing you, which feels like you’re winning in the moment, but later on can create a needy girlfriend who always feels insecure in the relationship. And you don’t want that.

Also, I find that this player approach tends to attract needy girls who may potentially have low self-esteem in general. This is what happens when you play power games. Girls who are more secure with themselves are not likely to continually chase you around and be so manipulated by you.

Final problem with this approach is that it cuts off alternative ways of getting into a relationship that may actually be healthier. If you insist this is how it must be, than it will be for you. My theory at the moment is that your highest quality relationship will not be born from this approach.

So experiment if you want. It could be a worthwhile experience. But you are playing with fire and will likely break some hearts this way.

Another option is you sleep with a girl and then pretty quickly take her on a more traditional “couple” activity, like maybe a nice dinner. This will show her that you’re serious about you and her, and assuming she feels the same about you, you can progress to serious dating very quickly.

[Leo Gura]

You don't need to keep playing hard to get once she's your gf.

The point here is simply not to over-invest in her because she's not that invested in you yet. It takes time for a girl to get invested. Hence the need to play it cool at the outset.

This is really just a tactic to thwart your own neediness, which repells women. And the less girls you sleep with the more needy you will be, so be careful. Once your dream girl comes along you'll probably be needy as fuck because you were saving yourself for her.

[something_else]

6 hours ago, museumoftrees said:

Okay! But do you think you would be more attracted to a guy if he waited a few days ex : 2-7 days after the last time he saw you to contact you? Or does it piss you off and make you not want to see him again?

I can speak for the experience I've had with girls in the 18-22 range which is that you should definitely not wait this long

But the rules of online communication change drastically for people in that age range compared to what advice I hear given by older people

[Spiral]

I would not get in bed with her too early.  Not for her sake but for your own.

[Lyubov]

18 minutes ago, Spiral said:

I would not get in bed with her too early.  Not for her sake but for your own.

I'm sort of the opposite. I want to get into bed quickly before so I know we have a physical connection. Somewhere on the first to third date. Maybe it's a bit fast but it feels right for me. It also builds a ton of intimacy between us. I find the long drawn out approach never leads anywhere. Maybe I just don't fit into this approach idk? 

Edited November 30, 2021 by Lyubov

[Spiral]

@Lyubov Sex tends to be better if you gotten to know each other. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you rush and have a “meh” experience and get out needlessly.

[Lyubov]

3 minutes ago, Spiral said:

@Lyubov Sex tends to be better if you gotten to know each other. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you rush and have a “meh” experience and get out needlessly.

I mean I do agree it gets much better the more you fall in love. I don’t like the feeling of waiting long though for the first time. I don’t have time for that lol. I’d rather get started on it right away and see how we vibe physically.