ValiantSalvatore

Online Dating Services - In small towns

13 posts in this topic

What services are working for you or what plattforms?

Tinder,okCupid,Bumble, Match.com,Lovoo etc. I am curious as to what works. I would do real game in a larger town for now I am sort of getting the hurdle of approaching in public there are many attractive girls in the gym, yet I am also injured so I feel often like shit and just want to get my workout done. I need an operation. 

Currently, I can basically mainly do online dating and social circle and night game. I'll text some friends for night game and apply Leo's framework this will not always be possible. Since my LP is still a priority. I am still doing a 90 day challenge for 1h online dating when I move to a larger city I will definitely do some game. With a wingman so we have a common goal and I can discuss theory. Going out alone I am a bit tired of doing stuff constantly alone. 

Maybe if I am an a game OG.

Edited by ValiantSalvatore

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Small towns are usually a death sentence for online dating. Maybe if you set your radius to like 50 miles you'll get something but that's a pain in the ass to deal with logistically

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are better off traveling to a big city for the weekends to set up dates.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Leo Gura Basically staying there for day game for one or two days or via online dating? Matching women in bigger cities and dating them there? I currently match the best women 155 miles away. I have also one date now there as this is a very international city. My friend says the same he basically has to drive. Driving there is okay. Also, I like driving. My car is okay, yet not made for long distances. The date is also iffy because she basically is 10/10... I was suprised by the match. 

@something_else My circle expands now 155 miles I am willing to drive dude 50 miles is a joke logistically I usually plan very well. Also the German Authobahn if I'd had a better car I could drive there definitely faster. Although I agree 100% it is a pain in the ass although my last date appreciated the effort, yet she just had to lead because I don't know every point in the city to go to even with good planning. I am not willing to make this a research project and distill every single bar/club option I see just walking through a city you'll find some good stuff and google usually helps. 

We went to a good restaurant as this was a 7h date. I was also very hungry since we went sightseeing the entire city. She showed me everything I just had no attraction to her because of clothes. I am not joking.

Edited by ValiantSalvatore

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

Basically staying there for day game for one or two days or via online dating? Matching women in bigger cities and dating them there?

Something like that. Whatever you can swing.

Quote

I currently match the best women 155 miles away. I have also one date now there as this is a very international city. My friend says the same he basically has to drive. Driving there is okay. Also, I like driving. My car is okay, yet not made for long distances. The date is also iffy because she basically is 10/10... I was suprised by the match.

You shouldn't invest much in any one match or date. If you drive out to the big city for the weekend, plan on doing as many approaches as you can that weekend and try to set up as many dates as you can. And if you do that every weekend you could make it a sort of cycle where you grab numbers and then set up dates for the next weekend.

Again, whatever is most workable given your logistical situation. Get creative with it.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Leo Gura That is a very good idea I can include this when I am done with my thesis and uni stuff and practice it for 2 months or 1 month and contacting a wingman for game that is a very good idea! Also, for day game I really want to observe a good wing first and see how he charms etc.

For now I'll go with online dating and social circle and some night game, yet going out here solo is a bit to much the dude I saw on saturday in a bar just passed by my window 1h ago. He will pass by more often. I presume just social circle can work. 

Also, this phase of my LP will take a lot of time and effort. The new book I've started reading showed how much certain pictures matter etc. and basically it's all pics and some new tipps. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Leo Gura Any ideas for how to do game and set up dates if you're distant 15-30 minutes from a big city and you're not yet capable of moving to a high volume area?


Been on the healing journey for 5 committed years: traumas, deep wounds, negative beliefs, emotional blockages, internal fragmentation, blocked chakras, tight muscles, deep tensions, dysfunctional relationship dynamics. --> Check out my posts for info on how to heal:

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82579-what-causes-anhedonia-how-can-it-be-cured/?page=2#comment-1167003

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

15-30 mins is not distant. You can easily set up dates.

Pulling will be tough at 30 mins. In which case you pull to her place, or car, or public restroom, or in some dark alley, or buy a hotel room on the spot.

Don't be afraid to buy a room if your girl is really into you.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't be afraid to buy a room if your girl is really into you.

You could say in the next video on how to get laid to scan for affordable hotels in the area where you do game, for the explorative phase


Been on the healing journey for 5 committed years: traumas, deep wounds, negative beliefs, emotional blockages, internal fragmentation, blocked chakras, tight muscles, deep tensions, dysfunctional relationship dynamics. --> Check out my posts for info on how to heal:

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82579-what-causes-anhedonia-how-can-it-be-cured/?page=2#comment-1167003

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/18/2021 at 8:06 PM, flyingwhalee said:

Not to mention what months of online dating will do to your self-esteem if your profile is not in the top 5%.

I totally forgot about this aspect of online dating. Haha screw that crap. 


I forgive my past, I release the future, and I honor how I feel in the present. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't buy into this scarcity mindset that you can't get laid in small towns or that only the top 5% of guys get dates on apps.

I'm an average looking guy, bit overweight, not tall, don't dress fancy, and I got plenty of girls online in a city of 70,000. Maybe if you don't have a city larger than 40k within a 30 minute drive then you're in trouble.

Even while in relationships in the past I'd troll these apps/sites and try to get girls to send me nudes just for fun or as a challenge, and it's not difficult at all. I have no doubt that I could get these girls to meet up and sleep with me if I wanted to take it that far, lots of them asked me themselves and I declined. I'm talking 6s, 7s, maybe 8s even. If a girl will send a pic of herself naked you're like 1 step away from sleeping with her.

9s and 10s are wife material and are hard to find, 7s are plenty good enough to just mess around with. A 7 was probably the most attractive girl in your class on average while in school.

Online game is all mental.... being able to express yourself and be persuasive in writing well. Even manipulating to a degree. You need a half-decent picture to get your first couple messages read, but once you're in the door it's all about how good you can write.

If your immediate local area isn't enough or once you run through all the local girls, set the max distance on your app to 100 miles (or manually change cities if it will let you and doesn't use GPS.)

Some girls want to meet up right away, the majority don't. If you can get an online conversation going and text her regularly for 3-5 days without her dropping off, you're basically in a relationship once it's time to meet up. After the first in-person meeting if you don't come off weird or creepy she will fuck you, so put in 80% of the work online upfront especially if you aren't as charismatic or haven't developed the in-person social skills.

Idk online dating is its own specific category and it's what I almost exclusively focused on, I'm guessing most people just don't master it to the same degree as night or day game where they talk to thousands of people. Still ended up meeting my wife at work though.

Edited by Yarco

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Yarco Thanks advice is a bit toxic from what I consumed. I agree with the writing part for now. I don't invest that much time into getting nudes. I don't know not my interest. I'd rather meet her. 

I consumed a lot of advice this not all not helpful I appreciate the effort.

Point is not a scarcity mindset. The point is what works technique wise etc. I appreciate that you tell me that it works, because I also believe that it definitely can work.

Edited by ValiantSalvatore

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now