What should I do to understand my own emotions

[Isaac k]

I have most of the time strong negative emotions but I don't even recognize that there are emotions at all and of course I don't know which emotions they are. ↵

What can I do for that which books should I read , what courses should I take etc.?

[aghost]

You can start by learing about and how to recognise and label each emotion. 

I recommend checking some of those books:

* How emotions are made by Lisa Feldman

* Emotional intelligence by Edward J. Watson

* Emotional freedom by Judith Orloff

* The book of moods by Lauren Martin

* The psychology of emotion by K. T. Strongman

 

There are plenty of books on shadow work and healing trauma if you are interested in getting to the root problem of experiencing strong negative emotions. 

Also keeping a dayily jurnal and writing all your thoughts down will help you find new coping mechanisms and become more aware of your thoughts. 

 

[Gianna]

You can create an emotions journal or a song of the day journal and see which emotions are being reflected in each song. @RickyFitts started this technique <3 it's brilliant. 
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman is a highly recognized book as well. 

Edited September 21, 2021 by Gianna

[Byun Sean]

feel deeper.

Push yourself out of your social comfort zone it forces you to feel deeper.

Let yourself get upset, angry, sad, happy, and everything in between. Allow yourself to feel like total shit or total bliss. 

 

Yes you can read books to arm you with tools to employ feeling deeper into emotions. 

 

But also keep in mind that understanding emotions can only happen on a feeling level. And until you feel them 

you don't really understand them.

 

Emotional intelligence is just this: how aware are you of your own emotions and the emotions of others.

 

The most accurate understanding happens at the level of being.

 

You don't need to will being in touch with the emotions of others. If you become fully involved with your own being emotionally you will naturally 

feel deeper into all other beings.

Edited September 21, 2021 by Byun Sean

[Spideymon77]

18 minutes ago, Gianna said:

You can create an emotions journal or a song of the day journal and see which emotions are being reflected in each song.

This is such a great idea. I recommend you follow this advice. I know when I don't know how I'm feeling, I find a song that I really want to listen to that helps me understand how I'm feeling. Sometimes the song doesn't even have to be about what you're feeling but instead it's about your interpretation of the song in the moment. I hold a lot of disdain sometimes and I listen to Starfuckers Inc. by Nine Inch Nails when I feel this way. It's the lyrics "you're so vain. I bet you think this song is about you, don't you?" that really gets to me.

If you can't find a name for the emotion, name it by which song you feel like today. For example, I feel like Stairway to Heaven with a little bit of Highway to Hell today.

If you're not a musical person, try using colors instead.

[Gianna]

21 minutes ago, Spideymon77 said:

Sometimes the song doesn't even have to be about what you're feeling but instead it's about your interpretation of the song in the moment.

hehehe. So true. 

[Ethan1]

Print out an emotional circle diagram. Put it on your fridge. Cover it with tape. Get a dry erase marker and draw lines with emotions that are dominant for the day. Spend time trying to put words to the multiple emotions you feel. Build awareness of the emotions with recognizing the sensations. Sit with the emotions. Process them. Listen to meditations related to particular emotions. Feel them. Listen music that brings out the emotions. 

Listening to Enya helps bring me to tears when I feel blocked grief. 

 

There's other diagrams to get the correct vocabulary so you can articulate the emotions. Just create a system for bringing awareness. 

 

Emotions are constantly changing.. Some times there are more dominant emotions. I've been processing mainly sadness. It helps to get specific on the cause then address the main emotion.

 

It's has taken me years to sit with sadness. I've found certain meditations on an app called Insight timer to help nudge myself to release and cry. I mean, literally takes like an hour to get the emotions to come to the surface. Depends on how long you have suppressed yourself. Most men are shamed to expressing their emotions so we learn to disconnect, dissosate, and numb them. 

 

All I can say is just be patient and sit with them. Build awareness with your emotions. Then gradually build awareness of others with emotional attunement. 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2021 by Ethan1

[hamedsf]

feel into them.

try to observe them, look at them objectively.

hard but you'd know more about it than the people who theorize in their mind.