Eren Eeager

Opening up about my situation

8 posts in this topic

So I have been suffering nonstop for at least 3 or 4 years now and in these last few days I have been able to put my finger on the cause. It is just these two ideas that my subconscious mind is very attached to. It is the idea that I am weak, and  that I lack social skills. Just these two thoughts turnes my life into hell. They have been going on and on in my subconscious my mind unchecked and caused me to become what they say. I became weak, creepy and lost all my social life. I am just amazed by how much suffering limiting beliefs can cause. And I  considermy self a conscious guy but I was blindsided by these thoughts.

But today is a new beginning to me. I decided to let go of these thoughts completely and start working on rehabilitating myself. I have a lot to do actually. I became all the things that I have been working to not be. I am living a crappy life with just constant suffering. I need to work on the basics, clear my head, work on my personality and begin working on my life purpose.

I know it is not going to be easy and these thoughts will try to reestablish themselves in my mind but there is no other way. I was actually on the verge of suicide for months now because of all the suffering I experienced. But I couldn't let all this potential that I see in me just go to waste.

So yeah, running away will stop today.

 


I am the only thing stopping myself from receiving infinite Love form Myself. I am Infinite Love for god sake.

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I think this happens when a person begins their transitioning form seeking external validation towards self-actualization. The first identity is saying I need to make sure I "fit" the second one is saying "what do you want to create?" "I want to let go of everything that isn't me". In time a person realizes that no one really fits and the whole notion of normalcy is just a conspiracy for mediocrity. Everyone suppresses their authentic personality and gifts out of fear to be labeled an outsider and banished from the tribe. Paradoxically this is one of the sources of their greatest suffering because this way they abandon their humanity and submit to all kinds of resistances and neuroses, they never uncover their gifts and they never contribute anything to humanity. Their lives are reduced to echoing the trends that are set by visionaries, leaders or often lunatics. Notice how a lot of PUA teachers teach you how to look LIKE someone who is confident, valuable and in tune with their purpose by learning some scripts consisting of things that some ACTUALLY actualized people said somewhere. And notice how actualized people realizing they no longer need external approval or consensus will act confidently naturally and will say the right things without studying any scripts. This is moving from being an actor to being yourself.

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@tatsumaru yeah fitting in is one of these thoughts that I must let go.


I am the only thing stopping myself from receiving infinite Love form Myself. I am Infinite Love for god sake.

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@Eren Eeager  it's good to know that the running away stops today.

If you think your weak .. what would make you strong ? 

exercise ? Diet ? Mindset ? Positive thoughts ? self acceptance ? The ability to sustain an erection for 20 min ? Find out the one thing that will help you and start working on it.. 

All the best buddy ?

 

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Try to remember your pep talk in the morning. We're usually big on words in the evening (that's if your location is set right).

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@Eren Eeager I send you words of encouragement and power. 

I hope things get better for you. I hope that such miserable thoughts don't repeat 

Sometimes you need to let go because wanting to hold onto something creates a lot of problems. 

Try to not allow those thoughts impact you. 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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