Anonymous Poll - Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness in the past?

[BipolarGrowth]

The topic of mental illness and how it relates to actualized.org has come more to the surface in a couple threads recently, and it was suggested that a thread dedicated to this discussion be created for the discussion to continue as another thread’s initial focus was derailed by this topic. 
 

Conditions which would warrant a “Yes” response to the poll include but are not limited to:

PTSD, major depressive disorder, anxiety, ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, borderline personality disorder, psychosis, eating disorders, serious addiction, etc. 
 

If you’re here, you should be familiar with the forum’s guidelines. This is not a place to treat mental illness or seek treatment. Potentially all spiritual practices and techniques with any degree of efficacy in raising consciousness can contribute negatively to the mental health and stability of certain individuals if certain circumstances are in place. Depending on what the poll reveals, I may be coming forward with more information describing the nature of why this happens, why these individuals may be drawn to actualized.org, and safe practices for dealing with at-risk individuals who might come here seeking guidance. 
 

If you wish to share details about your own story relating to mental illness & personal development or spirituality in this thread, feel free, but please remember this is not a place for treating such conditions and suggestions relating to treatment should remain minimal if not simply nonexistent entirely. 
 

Edit: Here are some interesting findings. Highly intelligent people appear to have a significantly stronger correlation with mental illness. Openness (a value and ultimately more-so a personality trait) tends to be much higher in those with psychotic mental illness than the general population. This value/trait is championed here for being crucial to this work. These are not the only contributing factors, but many people who could be expected to become deeply involved with actualized.org also are likely to have history of mental illness. In many cases, this work and content can have a positive effect on mental health if the right approach is taken. Many come in the attempt to transcend suffering, or their current spiritual attunement might be naturally high due to internal mechanisms related to transitioning from suffering to bliss. 

Intelligence & mental illness

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/bad-news-for-the-highly-intelligent/

Personality traits & mental illness 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/genes-personality-mental-illness_n_58502045e4b0bd9c3dfed94c/amp

Edited May 10, 2021 by BipolarGrowth

[Proserpina]

Diagnosed with schizophrenia. Although labelled 'mentally healthy' by several doctors in acute care after snapping 100% out of psychosis. Both episodes of psychosis occurred as a result of a one time use of marijuana. 

Without the help of Leo's teachings coming back may have been very difficult.   Leo and this forum has instilled in me an investigative, questioning mind. I can say with confidence that questioning the existence of certain delusions effectively brought me back to normality and very slowly out of a significant psychosis.

[BipolarGrowth]

6 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

Diagnosed with schizophrenia. Although labelled 'mentally healthy' by several doctors in acute care after snapping 100% out of psychosis. Both episodes of psychosis occurred as a result of a one time use of marijuana. 

Without the help of Leo's teachings coming back may have been very difficult.   Leo and this forum has instilled in me an investigative, questioning mind. I can say with confidence that questioning the existence of certain delusions effectively brought me back to normality and very slowly out of a significant psychosis.

That’s amazing, to be honest. Schizophrenia is usually quite difficult to overcome. I’ve heard about the link between schizophrenia and marijuana several times before. Glad to hear how much you’ve been able to improve. 

[blackchair]

schzichoaffective disorder whatever that is. i dont have time for that

[Dodo]

Option 5: diagnosed with psychosis, but got there by connection with Spirit and with spiritual guidance. Pop a label on it, now its an illness! It was actually just as real as eating cereal in the morning.

[Megan Alecia]

Diagnosed with dysthimia once. 

[BipolarGrowth]

6 minutes ago, Dodo said:

Option 5: diagnosed with psychosis, but got there by connection with Spirit and with spiritual guidance. Pop a label on it, now its an illness! It was actually just as real as eating cereal in the morning.

 

4 minutes ago, Kalo said:

I was diagnosed "Schizophrenic" after my brutal and long "psychosis" episode. All this is however only noise.

Actuality is that I awoke to and experienced another dimension of Reality, which the deluded materialists call "psychosis". For me, this nonsense is not even worth my time entertaining, which I haven't. Direct Experience is Totally Primary. "Psychosis" is a gross materialist mind-construction. 

I don't define or ever even think of myself as "Schizophrenic", especially not the materialist western notion of it.

I am nothing more than Reality experiencing itself, doesn't matter in which way it is.

You are both highlighting the relative nature of mental health as a framework as well as how spiritual forces were actually behind what society deemed problematic. I agree with both of you. 

[Proserpina]

2 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

That’s amazing, to be honest. Schizophrenia is usually quite difficult to overcome. I’ve heard about the link between schizophrenia and marijuana several times before. Glad to hear how much you’ve been able to improve. 

Thanks. 

There is still a side of me that believes I went to another 'realm'. You can see her on the forum sometimes.  

[Beginner Mind]

Experienced "psychosis" while living in South Korea a few years ago.  Was forced to take anti-psychotic injections until recently.

I feel that it was just something I had to go through as part of my destiny.  If nothing else, it humbled me, which was needed I think.

[Bojan V]

.@blackchair

8 hours ago, blackchair said:

schzichoaffective disorder whatever that is. i dont have time for that

Well you certainly affected me?!

[The0Self]

Diagnosed: psychosis (several acute incidents; not at all chronic), opioid/substance use disorder (was relatively chronic).

Suspected but not diagnosed: OCD, anxiety disorder.

Diagnosed but not mental: narcolepsy.

 

Better now on all counts. All have resolved, even including narcolepsy (not medically recognized as possible, to my knowledge).

 

Suspected now: some of what could technically be described as depersonalization, derealization, and bipolar. But not diagnosed, nor to any extent whatsoever that is personally concerning or even unlaughable  -- it just seems to come with the territory. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Ananta]

Officially diagnosed with Bipolar type II in 2009 after a suicide attempt. My biological mother (she only had visitation) had Bipolar type I. 

I take my meds, have follow-ups with my pdoc regularly and I am a very compliant patient. I haven't had any type of major crisis from Bipolar for many years.

I got involved with spirituality (started with Eckhart Tolle) within 6 months of my attempt in 2009. 

Edit: Also, I wish ppl here on this forum with Bipolar or schizophrenia would stop asking members of this forum for advice related to their illness. I usually cringe when reading it. It's usually very poor advice and medically dangerous!

Edited May 10, 2021 by Ananta

[blackchair]

51 minutes ago, Bojan V said:

.@blackchair

Well you certainly affected me?!

stap it you flirt

[Dodo]

9 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

 

You are both highlighting the relative nature of mental health as a framework as well as how spiritual forces were actually behind what society deemed problematic. I agree with both of you. 

 

9 hours ago, Kalo said:

I was diagnosed "Schizophrenic" after my brutal and long "psychosis" episode. All this is however only noise.

Actuality is that I awoke to and experienced another dimension of Reality, which the deluded materialists call "psychosis". For me, this nonsense is not even worth my time entertaining, which I haven't. Direct Experience is Totally Primary. "Psychosis" is a gross materialist mind-construction. 

I don't define or ever even think of myself as "Schizophrenic", especially not the materialist western notion of it.

I am nothing more than Reality experiencing itself, doesn't matter in which way it is.

 

9 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

 

You are both highlighting the relative nature of mental health as a framework as well as how spiritual forces were actually behind what society deemed problematic. I agree with both of you. 

This is great, just goes to show this is more of just some one off occurrence "in my mind" sort of thing, because I'm crazy  

[Geopo]

During my first psychotic episode, my perception of reality shifted radically. this radical shift happened mainly on the subconscious level, wherein I reacted chaotically to a number of insights. These insights mainly were concerning social norms and ways of thinking which I had unwarily adopted through my formation years. Within these insights was for example the simple realization that there are different ways of thinking and perceiving humans can have. However, because these realizations were dealt with and reacted to in a chaotic manner, many misconceptions and delusions arose, which led me astray from the opportunity to grow. This wouldn't have happened if there was proper guidance set in place, in form of a spiritual mentor, a group of mentally healthy individuals for reliance upon, or any guiding figure who is experienced with dealing with spiritual emergencies or has gone through one themselves.

I think the main reason why I reacted in a chaotic manner to these realizations was my background of living in the war stricken country Syria. I most definitely adopted many unhealthy psychological patterns during my life there. There was a lot of fear, misery and constant threats of being killed due to an "unidentified flying object" — which is what I use to refer to the bombs thrown on civilians as they could literally be anything, gas barrels, rockets, huge metal objects, you name it.

Anyways, this constant misery would create a sense of nihilism in the hearts of most people. Life was stolen of its colors in those attacked neighborhoods. And perhaps the only way out of this nihilism for me was to unconsciously create a delusional psychological pattern. I still remember lying in my bed on many nights, no electricity in the apartment, sometimes not even clean water to drink, and trying to sleep while the sounds of bombardments are exploding in the distance. My mind would be racing with all kind of nonsensical ideas and concepts, but I would be lying on my back, eyes open and staring at the ceiling, until I catch my mind running all kinds of nonsense, and I would wonder what the hell are these ideas, and where the hell are they coming from.

After leaving the country and later going through psychosis, I was diagnosed. Then it has been a long road to reintegrate the psychotic episode and the unhealthy patterns of thought and perceptions. I found Yoga and simple mindfulness to be very helpful.

Anyways, I hope I didn't go too off topic in this thread. I wanted to share my experience.

[The0Self]

@Geopo Wow... I hope you're in a better situation now.

Welcome!

[BipolarGrowth]

5 hours ago, Geopo said:

During my first psychotic episode, my perception of reality shifted radically. this radical shift happened mainly on the subconscious level, wherein I reacted chaotically to a number of insights. These insights mainly were concerning social norms and ways of thinking which I had unwarily adopted through my formation years. Within these insights was for example the simple realization that there are different ways of thinking and perceiving humans can have. However, because these realizations were dealt with and reacted to in a chaotic manner, many misconceptions and delusions arose, which led me astray from the opportunity to grow. This wouldn't have happened if there was proper guidance set in place, in form of a spiritual mentor, a group of mentally healthy individuals for reliance upon, or any guiding figure who is experienced with dealing with spiritual emergencies or has gone through one themselves.

I think the main reason why I reacted in a chaotic manner to these realizations was my background of living in the war stricken country Syria. I most definitely adopted many unhealthy psychological patterns during my life there. There was a lot of fear, misery and constant threats of being killed due to an "unidentified flying object" — which is what I use to refer to the bombs thrown on civilians as they could literally be anything, gas barrels, rockets, huge metal objects, you name it.

Anyways, this constant misery would create a sense of nihilism in the hearts of most people. Life was stolen of its colors in those attacked neighborhoods. And perhaps the only way out of this nihilism for me was to unconsciously create a delusional psychological pattern. I still remember lying in my bed on many nights, no electricity in the apartment, sometimes not even clean water to drink, and trying to sleep while the sounds of bombardments are exploding in the distance. My mind would be racing with all kind of nonsensical ideas and concepts, but I would be lying on my back, eyes open and staring at the ceiling, until I catch my mind running all kinds of nonsense, and I would wonder what the hell are these ideas, and where the hell are they coming from.

After leaving the country and later going through psychosis, I was diagnosed. Then it has been a long road to reintegrate the psychotic episode and the unhealthy patterns of thought and perceptions. I found Yoga and simple mindfulness to be very helpful.

Anyways, I hope I didn't go too off topic in this thread. I wanted to share my experience.

This is why we need shamans in modern culture. If I had a mentor in this field of mentally ill consciousness work, I would’ve avoided a lot of headaches and suffering. If I ever become a person of public significance, I’ll run a political campaign to support people who wish to practice modern shamanism. It would be like applying for government assistance or a university. If it’s shown that you’re serious about consciousness work, the government gives you a living wage. This is how stage purple was often. 

[Geopo]

@BipolarGrowth I've had this idea myself. I think it is extremely difficult to implement, but there must be a way it could be done safely. Like the modern psychedelic retreats in Europe, maybe there could be some retreats done specifically for people with mental illness backgrounds to learn how to grow through their suffering, and under certain training. No Substances though as these could be especially dangerous for severe mental illnesses, just working with the body and the breath.

Edited May 23, 2021 by Geopo

[Geopo]

9 hours ago, The0Self said:

@Geopo Wow... I hope you're in a better situation now.

Welcome!

Thank you, I am doing very well.

[RMQualtrough]

I have indeed. Anxiety runs strong on both sides of my family. I lost a decade of life by listening to "big pharma liez!" propoganda. Zoloft makes me much more well.

After tripping and having a breakthrough I thought I was cured and quit the meds cold turkey (I was on the max dose).

Around 6 to 10 months later I became ill again and went back on meds. The decline was so steady as to be almost imperceptible. When I was back on after a few weeks I stopped having attacks. I will remain on for life.