ivankiss

How do you 'resolve' extreme dualities? How do you integrate polar opposites?

35 posts in this topic

@mandyjw Incredible.

These lyrics come to mind:

'All the highs and the lows
Watch me fly, watch me fall
Pull me down, pick me up
I convinced myself that I was invincible'

and also;

'I fought a mountain and believed that I had won
When I reached the top there was another mountain blocking the sun'

Ahh, Life... I love that shit.

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1 minute ago, ivankiss said:

Ahh, Life... I love that shit.

OMG, I want this on a t-shirt! It's like the perfect mix of "shit happens" and "life is good". There, you got your integration. ;) 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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i would say look at which option you will not regret on your death bed

imagine you have a week left to life, which choice for your life direction will you take

mind will say do no meditate, do not bother with spirituality, do not concern yourself with difficult topics such as god, consciousness and love

i suggest that mind wants to run the show and keep one dreaming for as many lifetimes as it can

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Posted (edited)

@mandyjw ? It's a perfect mix, but still just a perspective.

2 hours ago, gettoefl said:

i would say look at which option you will not regret on your death bed

imagine you have a week left to life, which choice for your life direction will you take

Thought of it that way a few times. But thinking that can also cause a sense of unease or a desire to rush things. Anxiety, etc. I struggled long with feeling like I'm behind, or too late, or that I don't have enough time to finish my mission etc. It's exhausting.

There must be a certain level of detachment in order to not go mad. 

Here's another random insight I had earlier:

You can question yourself for an eternity and never reach confidence and certainty. Or you can be confident and certain just as you are despite all the questions.

Questioning does not necessarily lead to answers. It has its place and time... but it can easily turn into an obsession. Madness.

You guys... I think I'm ready to stop working so hard on myself and start living as me more. I'm excited about life, yet again.

Edited by ivankiss

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Just throwing a few things out there. Maybe something resonates:

  • Check in your direct experience that you can't actually have two desires at the same time. So there's no need to exclude anything.
     
  • You like spirituality and sex and money? Cool. Make it work. Why decide? Your life can be any combination of things you like. Welcome to being unique. You're here to forge a new path not follow someone's tracks.
     
  • The intention, the love and excitement you bring to what you do is what really counts and really "makes the difference" in your experience. So it's the only thing that will ultimately be satisfying. None of the things you mentioned are a contradiction if your "state" or approach isn't. If you approach an activity going "I'll do this to celebrate this life and find out more about myself" (or whatever other intention feels good) it really doesn't matter much if you go have sex or meditate. And then there really aren't many conflicting options.
     
  • Life is always waking you up. How many "hard decisions" did you make up until now that you stuck to rigorously and everyday? Where you decided for "one path" and never swayed from it? Probably not many. And look at what life brought you anyways. Maybe life knows what it's doing. Maybe life works differently. Maybe you don't have to decide everything. And maybe there are no "wrong" decisions. Just maybe.
     
  • It's a bit of an innocent tendency humans have to always fit life into some kind of plan or path. We're (sometimes desperately) planning, grasping, defining and defending "our way", so we can pin down our identity "once and for all", present it and compare it to people around us. It feels good. But not really. And besides, whatever "side" you choose, for whatever "path" you decide, it would never work out the way you imagine it anyways. Life is something completely different than the arbitrary dualities and small decisions we're having in our mind. It's way more magical and wise I think. And I think you already know that. "Ego" is a creature of habit, predictability and security. Which is why it's only a matter of time until these things break apart.
     
  • It can feel good to have a plan. But it also feels good to glimpse your human-ness beyond that. It feels good to look at everyday, every moment even as an open landscape and realise the freedom you have. You can literally do anything you want. And you can do something different everyday. I actually take a good few moments every morning to be grateful for the endless options life grants me. It's been a great habit that has taken loads of the "decision anxiety" away.
     
  • Maybe this helps as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R77Di7MLSkE

 

Wow. I think I just wrote this for myself. Thank you. Much love!


My website: The Inward Morning

Dei nostri templum terrarum orbus est

 

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@flume I feel like that's one of the most beautiful posts I read since I joined the forum. Will come back to it a few more times - for sure.

Infinite thanks. 

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My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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Have you heard of AND consciousness? I believe the answer to reconcile polarities is to acknowledge that you need both. You always need the other end of a duality to sustain the one aspect of a duality. For instance, using your example of stillness (meditation) and movement (creation, sex, money, etc.) you need to include both. You can NOT side with one and split your consciousness into two. Instead, you need to expand your consciousness to hold space for both. If you focus on stillness, you are not creating. This is what being alive is for. Life is meant for you to consciously create. However, if you create– and especially if you create out of your ego– you allow yourself to get lost in the movement; you will forget the force of stillness that can feed your creation.  

Right now you are being called to expand your consciousness to include the polarities you are struggling to "choose" between. You do not need to choose anything. Do not limit your desires, ever. Do not split your consciousness. You need to unify the two. This is what 'oneness' is. You need to go into this desire to include both. This is your moment for expansion. 

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@Gianna Thank you. That was lovely.

To summarize;

1 + 1 = 0

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On 5/9/2021 at 8:20 AM, ivankiss said:

Let's say you notice a deep inner conflict between two seemingly opposite perspectives. Paradigms or realities, even.

How do you go about integrating both sides of the coin - so to speak - without ending up excluding or denying one side and picking one over the other?

I thought simply noticing and taking no action - not leaning towards one or the other side - was the answer. But I'm not so sure about that anymore. 

An example of this would be;

On one side you want to pursue money, fame and sex and on the other you want to retrieve into a cave and meditate 24/7. 

How does the middle way look like in this situation for you? 

What do you do? How do you act?

 

Well now days, you can meditate in a cave for 24 hrs while streaming. At the same time someone can be sucking your dick/sex, youd be gaining fame online, and receiving donations/money with magical internet buttons. . So there you go, lol. 

But a more serious response maybe that to just notice that extreme dualities are in mind/definitions/language/beliefs.  When some degree of understanding settles in from this, there can be less needing or activity of pushing/pulling/defending such ideas and activities When living within the world. 

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On 5/9/2021 at 8:20 AM, ivankiss said:

Let's say you notice a deep inner conflict between two seemingly opposite perspectives. Paradigms or realities, even.

How do you go about integrating both sides of the coin - so to speak - without ending up excluding or denying one side and picking one over the other?

I thought simply noticing and taking no action - not leaning towards one or the other side - was the answer. But I'm not so sure about that anymore. 

An example of this would be;

On one side you want to pursue money, fame and sex and on the other you want to retrieve into a cave and meditate 24/7. 

How does the middle way look like in this situation for you? 

What do you do? How do you act?

 

Or another interesting way to put it. Is there is a notion of the world you have or is experienced. In this there is generally a what is okay and what isn’t okay or just a what something is. 

Theres me a body or or a what ever and a other thing out there or a car or money. 

Then spiritual people tend to go through a process of labeling externals such a s money fame sex as dualities and internal wisdom truths, and experience and knowledge as Truth, Real, not the illusion dualism world. 

However this duality or dualism split is just labels of mind and can even create new what’s good and what s bad and what’s important and not important, what’s real and what’s not real.

and ya even calling it mind that does this is saying to much and kinda wrong. 

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Posted (edited)

@Mu_ Thank you. Something tells me I'll need that 'later'.

I think what I've been experiencing lately is the collision of the 'inner/outer world'. A collapse of that duality. Not just in my mind - as an idea or a belief - but rather in direct experience. 

Everything is becoming fused to one. In everyday life. It kinda feels like reality is glued onto me. Mimicking me flawlessly. Following my each and every step. I wanna say it's like a mirror - but it doesn't feel 100% true..

Whatever the heck is going on; I'm enjoying it - most of the time. It's been a crazy ride so far. I'm eager to see where this goes.

Good points about money and getting your dick sucked, too. Thanks. I have a strong definition of what I want and how to get it. It's not a question. It's a mission. But I also have plenty of room left for experimentation and exploration. Fun.

I do get lost in thoughts and feelings here and there... But my eyes are on the road - most of the time ?

 

Edited by ivankiss

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On 9.5.2021 at 4:16 PM, ivankiss said:

Holy shit ? Has anyone here had the 'I'm suffering because I kinda like it' realization?

Look around.

Most people are addicted to thoughts.

That is, they are addicted to endless suffering.


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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@WaveInTheOcean Been cultivating a deeper compassion for them lately. I noticed I get triggered by ignorance here and there. Then I realized it's only ignorance to me. For what I know; they might as well be completely self-transcendent. Serving the highest good of All.

These lyrics come to mind tho;

'Life is but a dream
Drifting on a stream
A stream
Consciously it seems
All of what remains

Ego brain
Man-made shame
Shame, love after it rains

You see my pain is real
Watch my world dissolve
And pretend that none of us see the fall
As I turned to sand
You took me by the hand
And declared, that love prevails over all'

Oh man... Chills...

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1 hour ago, ivankiss said:

@WaveInTheOcean Been cultivating a deeper compassion for them lately. I noticed I get triggered by ignorance here and there. Then I realized it's only ignorance to me. For what I know; they might as well be completely self-transcendent. Serving the highest good of All.

These lyrics come to mind tho;

'Life is but a dream
Drifting on a stream
A stream
Consciously it seems
All of what remains

Ego brain
Man-made shame
Shame, love after it rains

You see my pain is real
Watch my world dissolve
And pretend that none of us see the fall
As I turned to sand
You took me by the hand
And declared, that love prevails over all'

Oh man... Chills...

??


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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