Is life harder for good looking male or female?

[Roy]

Am super good looking, can confirm life is still quite hard ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Vzdoh]

I personally think looking gorgeous is a gift. Not an achievement per se. Of course, working out and taking care of yourself well adds to the "genetic blessing", but largely I still view it as a gift for which I am grateful. 

Makes it easier to work with clients. 

Makes it easier to attract guys I like. 

Makes it easier to be likable and get good treatment from strangers. 

But I never rely just on my looks. I think a combo of confidence, openness, assertiveness, good and kind heart together with looks is what makes me outstanding, not only looks alone. 

 

[Kay100]

@integral oh what blog is it? I have only been following Leo’s YouTube channel.

This is a very interesting video. I have watched the first 10 minutes just now and something interesting there. He says the boy was trying to avoid high status posture, he was trying to hide himself. Because high status brings haters. That really makes sense. Did you feel the same way when you grow your hair long? You were trying to hide yourself and avoid be in high status? Were you ever worried about haters? 

Actually nowadays haters are so common on the internet. Any person who is popular on any type of social media can have lots of haters.

[integral]

@Kay100 Leo Blog

17 hours ago, Kay100 said:

Did you feel the same way when you grow your hair long? You were trying to hide yourself and avoid be in high status? Were you ever worried about haters? 

Yes the situation was similar to this, high cortisol (stress) state during a interaction. We can see how bottled up he is on the surface. His body language and tone of voice reflect his inner state. While if he was athletic it would be alot easier to hide it. I was in the same situation except more coordinated on how others where experiencing me. Once the shyness is resolved he will look like a completely different person. 

Is your son in the same situation? What are the a differences? 

[spacecake]

When you are 10 years old until you are 28 yearsold looks are important, after then people will much more be focused on mindset, and lifestyle.

[Mellocean]

Immediately when I saw this, I thought:

"Are you kidding? If you're a pretty woman, you just have to wait. You're not expected to go initiate anything. Your ego is inflated heavily by cultural norms. It's an ego's bliss." 

In this way, society is very favored towards the heightening of a woman's ego v.s a man's. While it favors both, a woman is favored more. Look around you, most beautiful women nowadays have the biggest ego. Men do too, but it's not even close to the same. When's the last time you heard a woman admit she was wrong in a debate. There are mature women out there, but it's not predominate.

In our current culture, women have it easier. It favors them more than a man. For god's sake, a woman takes priority in most every situation throughout our cultural norms. Men are the side crumbles. A good portion of women nowadays lack so much maturity & have such an inflated ego, that they are disappointed that they're even attracted to men.

I haven't heard one immensely popularized idea from men to say "We don't need women, men are all that we need to prosper". Yet this has become a satiric popularized idea amongst a big portion of women in it's opposite. How big of an ego do you need to have, to disband an entire gender because of how much praise you get (from that very gender)?

This is not to say it's right or wrong. It's just to say that it is the case.

And of course, a lot of this is only a biased perspective of mine. Don't take it too personally, that's not my intent.

Edited May 16, 2021 by Mellocean

[RendHeaven]

@Mellocean lol this thread is about attractive people in general - not men vs women 

[Mellocean]

@RendHeaven Exactly. Its really a question of; is it harder in life to have a bigger ego or a smaller ego in our modern world? 

 

As of right now, considering all the most powerful collectives in the world, I’d say society favors a bigger ego. Though there are less-popular exceptions. Because of this, I’d say attractive women have it easier than attractive men (for now. It will likely flip on & off between genders overtime).

 

It’s all a balance, while one gender may have it easier in one area of life, the other gender may have the very opposite.

Edited May 16, 2021 by Mellocean

[Shadowraix]

On 5/3/2021 at 10:11 AM, Inva said:

@Kay100 Female definitely, she gets into laziness when she sells her body for looks. Just look at instagram models, Chaturbate models, pornstars, runways, etc, etc. Loses brain cells, relies on man to look after her.

@OP: Women who feel threatened by more attractive women are just projecting insecurity without realizing if their boyfriend could be stolen, the attractive women is just helping them dodge a bullet.

Life is a multi-facet thing that varies even more by location it's not easily measurable as a sum total. Being a successful man sex workers is harder. But being a successful woman in stem fields is harder. Sexual assault on men and women are both not handled properly but the lack of seriousness from men was created by men to think any sex you receive you should just enjoy and grow up. For women excuses are often shifted on the victim to be at fault but that's just the surface.

And then what about being a minority? What if you aren't straight? What if your trans?

Starting to see how complex this is getting? People often cherry pick. If your a man who is facing major hardships in one facet and see a lot of women having it easier it's easy to think life is easier for them. I know you are asking specifically about attractive men and women but lots of factors tying into attraction is deeply influenced by general gender dynamics and other aspects of ourself like sexuality. Attraction often acts as an amplifies or reduces benefits and struggles of these dynamics.

@Quote: Sex work isn't as easy as you think you aren't going to make bank immediately. It takes a lot of work getting good at photography to take good shots, you have to market yourself, and have a persona people like. And the porn industry is so messed up that pornstars often get exploited and turning yourself into a big enough pornstar to make money is a lot of work to market yourself and to produce high quality content too. 

Its a pretty common thing for people to see sex work as lazy because they think it's as simple as take a minute to snap whatever picture of your body or just to film a dude fucking you and it's instant profit. Men are often just jealous that there isn't as big of a market for them like the market they created for women.

When you perceive an aspect of your life to be harder say working a 9-5 than something like sex work some gain mentalities glorifying working hard so they can justify what they do and pull down those they are jealous of.

 

[Kay100]

@integral I really enjoy our discussion but has been a bit busy so haven't been able to post here.

When you say "athletic" you mean someone who's tall and has kind of sporty outlook? If their body language is kind of stiff I don't understand how that's being "athletic"? 

I can understand if someone looks stiff and not showing much emotion when you talk to him, if he's tall and good looking then maybe people will think he's being arrogant. But if he's the one who approch others, then there's no reason to think that he's arrogant? But maybe that doesn't happen often because he's actually shy so don't usually try to approch people.

I realize that you are different from the person in that video. His reason of trying to avoid attention is because he want to avoid possible bulling because he thinks he's weak. But in your case, your reason of trying to avoid attention is the opposite, you are trying to avoid attention caused by being good looking. The only thing that's the same is that you are also shy so you don't like attention.

As for my son, it's different again. He doesn't really know or care about if he's good looking or not, he just noticed that since he started high school he's more sensitive to whatever is happening around him, I think it's mainly sensory sensitivity. And he might blush when trying to talk to girls. He does think that he's weak because he has always had difficulty in motor skills. Basically his problems are sensory sensitivity and low self esteem. I guess that's different from you, have you even had problem with remaining a healthy self esteem?

[StarStruck]

Being good looking or charismatic will get you nothing if you don't have anything to back it up with.

If you have things to back up your good looks, then yes, otherwise no!

The thread question is too black and white.

[Kay100]

@Michael569 @StarStruck Hey guys, I just thought that, see how many celebrities that committed suicide or got serious addictions, obviously being good looking didn’t help them much. Even if they also have talent beside the looks. Maybe it’s even harder if add fame to the mix?

 

Is it a totally different story for people who are good looking but without fame?

[StarStruck]

2 minutes ago, Kay100 said:

@Michael569 @StarStruck Hey guys, I just thought that, see how many celebrities that committed suicide or got serious addictions, obviously being good looking didn’t help them much. Even if they also have talent beside the looks. Maybe it’s even harder if add fame to the mix?

 

Is it a totally different story for people who are good looking but without fame?

Good looks gives you the illusion that looks is all you need. For some people it does work out but after a while they get old and lose their looks and their ego just collapses which they can't handle.

[Kay100]

@StarStruck what difference would it make with or without fame?

[Kay100]

Isn’t it a fact that good looking woman are very likely to be objectified by men? Not much a problem for good looking men.

 

I've heard about real stories of female models. 9 out of 10 have eating disorder and addictions. It's easy for them to get to move into some rich man's mansion, but it never lasts and they just keep moving around like that. Sound like a very sad life to me...

 

Right now my mind is kind of fixed on the negatives for good looking women... It's like victim mentality, they are too much being treated only as sexual object... 

 

But I do hope to find out more about the positives and change how I'm thinking about it right now heh.....

Edited May 23, 2021 by Kay100