The NO experience

[Breakingthewall]

I would like to know if in the spiritual tradition there is evidence of this experience, surely yes: I not am . Ultimately denial, the opposite of the famous I am. Not nothing, before nothing, before before. The reality is that I not am. horrible to face. it happens to me with 5 meo sometimes. and when it happens it seems to me that it is beyond being the universe, being everything, etc. that the final reality is ....negation

[blackchair]

Ive never heard of it, Sounds interesting...

[LastThursday]

Sounds like a useful technique, something like the Neti Neti method.

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Kalo said:

but there is no such thing as non-existence.

True, it is not possible not to be, if it were it would not be possible to remember it. Probably you are right and it's the ego

Something similar has happened to me sometimes in the middle of the night. dissolution, there is no center, I do not exist and have never existed, a certainty impossible to bear. I imagine that it will be how you say the step to the realization of the self, but if nobody told me my direct experience would be: reality is illusion, behind is the truth, and the truth is not being

 

 

Edited January 30, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[Breakingthewall]

microdosing right now to remember: im the only being that exist. all the universe is a fantasy. behind there is nothing, the void. and behind the void, there is non-existence.

[Breakingthewall]

What is behind of the non existence? I think I need a macro dose for that. Non existence is the last frontier. 

[WelcometoReality]

53 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

What is behind of the non existence? I think I need a macro dose for that. Non existence is the last frontier. 

So what's there to "experience" that non-experience/non-existence and later be here to tell us about it? ?

[Breakingthewall]

@WelcometoReality non sense, i know, but it's, Impossible more absolutely clear. I'd like to know about that kind of experience, but I never found information

[WelcometoReality]

1 minute ago, Breakingthewall said:

@WelcometoReality non sense, i know, but it's, Impossible more absolutely clear. I'd like to know about that kind of experience, but I never found information

Yes it is truly non sense as in prior to all senses. My question was not to make fun of your "experience" but to make you contemplate about it.

[Breakingthewall]

@WelcometoReality i know. I also had the realization after an ego dissolution that I'm all that exist, pure joy etc. But seems that this is more deep, or maybe 2 faces of the same. For now I can't u understand.

[VeganAwake]

@Breakingthewall  you might find this interesting. ❤

Ajata Project (Robert Wolfe)

 

[Nahm]

35 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

For now I can't u understand.

If it’s helpful, it’s helpful, if it’s “triggering” shoot me and or ignore. I suggest you can understand. That you must, or you’ll keep veiling yourself of yourself without recognizing how this is occurring. (I say this in the intention & sentiment of liberation, not judgment.) Because thought is un inspected, a thought arises that you need 5meo. By all means, of course, experience psychedelics. But also do yourself the solid of inspecting. As you do consider the wanting of the experience of psychedelics. No implication here, no ‘swaying’ either way. It’s yo bizness, respectfully. 

Each of us veils ourself now, or not at all. 

What is unveiled, is clarity. 

The veil, is thoughts. Only thoughts, thought attachment. 

3 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

True, it is not possible not to be, if it were it would not be possible to remember it.

It is only possible to be, and to be aware of a thought (memory). 

Thought which is double negative is doubly confusing, for that which is pure goodness (you). This can be self spotted, and the spotting of it is the liberation of it. Then the “it” (subject object thought) can be spotted. When a memory is just a thought, experienced now, and is not believed (thought attachment) there is no longer the belief that there is an “it”. “It” is then clearly, a thought. Not a thought about you. A thought you (awareness, presence, now) are aware of. 

Then self referential thinking can be spotted. Then it seems silly to believe you could remember yourself...and you are awareness ever-present now. You are yourself. And thus can not think (or remember) yourself. 

[WelcometoReality]

36 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

@WelcometoReality i know. I also had the realization after an ego dissolution that I'm all that exist, pure joy etc. But seems that this is more deep, or maybe 2 faces of the same. For now I can't u understand.

Your on to something. "I can't" are very limiting words to utter. Maybe rephrasing it to "I haven't been able to yet" can open you up to a realization.

[Breakingthewall]

 

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

Because thought is un inspected, a thought arises that you need 5meo. By all means, of course, experience psychedelics. But also do yourself the solid of inspecting. As you do consider the wanting of the experience of psychedelics. No implication here, no ‘swaying’ either way

it is true that I have a certain ... tendency to use 5 meo. my mind is not clean, thoughts arise, this is impossible to avoid. imo is pure need for control. This control is fantasy, the thoughts do not get any control but "I" cannot do without the illusion of control. Every thought that arises is like the cigarette of the smoker who wants to quit. he knows it is harmful, useless, but he cannot stop. control is separation, separation is anxiety. I want to tune in, to flow at the same frequency of reality, without thought. I am the reality, I cannot be separated from myself. but I am. so i use 5 meo. break the illusion of separation for a moment, and in the days that follow I can flow closer to the present. closer and closer. But sometimes this ... scare happens. the perception that I am not. black

[Breakingthewall]

@VeganAwake it's interesting and I had that kind of realizations but I think that wolfe talk since the logic, and there is not logic here. There is nothing, but there is something. 

[Moksha]

28 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

control is separation, separation is anxiety.

The ego hungers, insatiably, for security.

Have you practiced being present, in insecurity? Can you be at peace, not knowing anything?

Great reading, if you are looking for a stable alternative, beyond psychedelics (author is guilty as charged, but gets it):

The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety

- Alan Watts

[Breakingthewall]

5 minutes ago, Moksha said:

Can you be at peace, not knowing anything?

No I can't, but I know that all my thoughts means nothing. Maybe I'm trying to know the deepest reality, god, to be in peace after that , knowing everything, but I know it's Impossible, nothing can be know. The need of knowing is the wall. Thought are the tool of separation. 

I will read that book, thank you .

[Moksha]

2 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

No I can't, but I know that all my thoughts means nothing. Maybe I'm trying to know the deepest reality, god, to be in peace after that , knowing everything, but I know it's Impossible, nothing can be know. The need of knowing is the wall. Thought are the tool of separation. 

I will read that book, thank you .

? Realizing not only that your thoughts mean nothing, but that they are the enemy of Self-realization, is the beginning of wisdom. Nothing can be known, and nothing needs to be known. It sounds cliche, but it really is about being. Hope you enjoy the book, bro!

[Nahm]

@Breakingthewall

Right on. Hope it doesn’t sound as if I’m against psyche’s.

It can take a while to let beliefs and conditioning go, no doubt. It’s a process and psyche’s are an out of this world tool. 

 The want to know is easier going than the belief in the need to know. Discovery is more fun in this light. 

[Breakingthewall]

meditating I return to the realization: only I exist, but really, I do not exist, and since I do not exist I create existence. But the bottom line is that I don't exist. How is it possible?