Coming Out Politically is Harder than Sexual Orientation

[kag101]

"Defining" myself

I don't like to put myself in boxes, but for the sake of this topic, I'd consider myself bisexual, with preference to men. And, politically, I'd say center-right (I really like Milton Friedman and Thomas Sowell, for example).

Sexuality

It was really tough to first of all accept myself in terms of sexuality. I had A LOT of guilt and shame when I was a teenager. It took me years to accept myself. A friend really helped. He is very well-resolved in that manner. He's gay, but his sexual orientation doesn't define his whole life. So he helped me to accept myself more, and not be afraid of the judgements of others. 

Politically

But here's the thing:

Because I'm technically in the LGBT group, people automatically assume that I am left-wing. But I'm not.

Coming out in terms of my political positions has been harder for me. In the country that I live in, which had a right-wing dictatorship, people automatically assume that if you're more towards the right, you're a die hard Trump supporter sort of thing.

In the schools, the teacher have a heavy bias towards the left. So subconsciously I started to believe that anyone who was right-wing, didn't give a fuck about poor people, for instance. And this is not the case. After watching Friedman's video, things started to make sense. And there's a group in my country called MBL (Free Brazil Movement), which I resonate to what they say. But I don't agree with everything. 

I don't like to place myself in a box. I'm more of an independent thinker. For instance, I'm in favor of the right to have abortion before 12 weeks; I'm an atheist; and I think that climate change is man-made. So I have opinions that are considered from the "left". 

Tired of hiding

I started to share some of my political views on my social media. Just now, I shared a meme about the guy who lost the election here in São Paulo. And I'm pretty sure that some people will get pissed at me. But, you see, lots and lots of people share things making fun of right wing, so why can't I do this? It's not an excessive thing, and I'm not being aggressive. I'm simply sharing what I think.

And if people will judge me because of that and won't want to talk with me, well... there's nothing I can do about it. And I don't want to have friends who are intolerant to different ideas.

I am tired of hiding. And I will endure any setbacks of coming out, both sexually and politically. That is not to say that I want the whole world to know about this. I'm a reserved and introverted guy. But if people ask me something about that, I will not be afraid to say what I think. Obviously there has to be common sense. 

Anyway, I've been thinking about Leo's episode on "how to not care about the opinions of others". And it's liberating. There's a deep sense of freedom. The freedom to have unpopular opinions. 

 

Thanks for reading  

[Opo]

Congrats on coming out! 

I looked up Milton Friedman and he's a libertarian.

Here's a video on that. 

 

[Bojan V]

It was an interesting post, thanks!

I respectfuly disagree with you. I am gay and for me it's definitely harder to come out about my sexual orientation then politically. Personaly i am neither left wing nor right wing. And people in general tend to dismiss that. They think you need to be one way or another. But in rural area in Slovenia, where i live, it's definitely harder to be gay especialy becose there are many right wing people here.

[Girzo]

1 hour ago, kag101 said:

The freedom to have unpopular opinions. 

How is being right-wing or a centrist having an unpopular opinion? You have the same opinions as most of the people all over the world and for sure in your country, too. And most gays have the same beliefs as you, it's just that the left is pro-LGBT, but that doesn't mean that actual LGBT people are dominantly left-leaning.

Being gay doesn't give you a free-pass on not having your political orientation challenged. And you should do it yourself, too, challenge yourself to read books outside of your main interest, because only then you can really grow. And since you are there I believe you can do much better than liking Milton Friedman.

Libertariansim is either a position of really old people or uneducated ones. For example, take a look at Kate Raworth, her economic ideas are light-years ahead of Milton Friedman. How can you trust in 2020 someone who has been born in the previous century and lived most of their lives without computers and the Internet, what can they really know about the state of the world today?

 

[Heart of Space]

@kag101Yea, there are a lot of well meaning people who are on the right.  No one should make you feel guilty for having a political leaning and a lot of people on the left tend to stereotype and chastise people on the right to an unfair degree.  Strive to be open minded to new information and simply be a good person you shouldn't have too many issues.  

21 minutes ago, Girzo said:

And most gays have the same beliefs as you, it's just that the left is pro-LGBT, but that doesn't mean that actual LGBT people are dominantly left-leaning.

I don't know what gay people you're hanging out with because gay people are overwhelmingly left leaning.  

[Girzo]

@Heart of Space yeah, most of openly bi or gay people I know are left-leaning, they also usually have colored hair or watch anime. I think of them as audacious minority. Most bi people I assume are like my friend who lives in a hetero relationship with a fiance and is fairly conservative. You wouldn't know he is bi, because he doesn't tell it often. I also for example know a bi girl who is either clueless on political issues or holds libertarian positions, because that's what everyone around her believes.

Do I have data to back it up? Nope, it's just a hunch that those people better represent gay people overall than the typical lefties. To be an openly gay leftist with colorful hair you have to be a non-conformist. Most people are conformists, they will believe a dominant ideology, which happens right now to be a centrist one, slightly skewed towards right.

[aurum]

@kag101

Yes, a big problem with people on the left is their lack of acceptance for the right.

The right is of course equally intolerant, if not worse. But people on the left like to imagine themselves as the one's who are more tolerant and compassionate. To them, the right is just a bunch of cold hearted racists.

Unfortunately, what this does is just push a lot of people further right or solidify their beliefs. It gives people on the right a sense of meaning, like they're fighting for the truth against the oppressive left. And everything just becomes more polarized.

What the left has to learn is that being "right" is not enough. It needs Stage Yellow ability to hold space for all different kinds of perspectives, even ones they consider dangerous.

[Heart of Space]

2 hours ago, Girzo said:

@Heart of Space

Do I have data to back it up? Nope, it's just a hunch that those people better represent gay people overall than the typical lefties. To be an openly gay leftist with colorful hair you have to be a non-conformist. Most people are conformists, they will believe a dominant ideology, which happens right now to be a centrist one, slightly skewed towards right.

Nah man, population wise most people are center left on average.  The democratic party supports gay rights.  Gay people are overwhelmingly left leaning, that's not really debatable.  We can start googling statistics, but there's honestly not much point debating something that's so blatantly obvious.  

[Preety_India]

I disagree. First of all, how is right wing opinion unpopular? 

It's the left opinions, the progressive opinions that find hard to catch the market. 

If Left Wing opinions were so popular with the masses, then Donald Trump wouldn't have become President! 

Most gays are left leaning. But most people aren't. That should be a clue. 

Most people on the left are shamed as weak and timid and the badge of socialism and communism is stamped on them even if they weren't in support of socialism. 

 

[Heart of Space]

17 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I disagree. First of all, how is right wing opinion unpopular? 

It's the left opinions, the progressive opinions that find hard to catch the market. 

If Left Wing opinions were so popular with the masses, then Donald Trump wouldn't have become President! 

Most gays are left leaning. But most people aren't. That should be a clue. 

Most people on the left are shamed as weak and timid and the badge of socialism and communism is stamped on them even if they weren't in support of socialism. 

 

Progressives are not common, that is correct.  

However, regular run of the mill democrats are extremely common.  Even Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by like 3 million votes.  Center left is the most common political position in the country.  Don't take my word for it.  Go check the statistics for yourself.  

[Preety_India]

@Heart of Space yes I agree with you. Center left is more popular than the left. 

 

[Girzo]

@Heart of Space Yeah, you are from the States, but OP is from Brazil and I am from Poland, it's quite different here. And most of the world is even less developed than Brazil or Poland. Thus, most gays globally will be leaning to the right, I believe.

[Heart of Space]

6 hours ago, Girzo said:

@Heart of Space Yeah, you are from the States, but OP is from Brazil and I am from Poland, it's quite different here. And most of the world is even less developed than Brazil or Poland. Thus, most gays globally will be leaning to the right, I believe.

Oh ok, I don't know what the situation is outside of the states.  

[abrakamowse]

Conservative left maybe ?