Rant: Most of y’all (guys) only want a relationship due to scarcity mindset

[Thestarguitarist14]

1 minute ago, Byun Sean said:

@Thestarguitarist14

Lol 

Isn't it interesting your one of the only guys on this forum that holds this particular view and everyone including me is telling you relationships work otherwise.

We say your view is toxic and packed with baggage because it is.

 

But of course you will never admit this because if you ever admit this as a possibility 

you have to risk giving up this big part of your ego which is threatening.

 

You say others are needy. Well your 5x as needy for your need to be separate from others especially in intimacy with women. 
 

Not true.  Outside of women only two guys are calling me out.  Yet that is most guys?

Look, believe what you want, I don’t care.  It is your life.  But I just think it is lame to claim to into truth but when someone is spitting hard truths (don’t blame me, blame Mother Nature) some people get upset about that.

And are your posts not just a self deception?  Why are you so focused on me?  Perhaps you should be asking yourself “why is this post triggering me so hard?”  Because you clearly don’t give a shit about me.  

[Thestarguitarist14]

7 minutes ago, Khr said:

I am not arguing your main premise, I see your point, but all the sexist, closed minded, projected, shit you’ve said when you were making it.

What a projection.  But hey, I must be doing something right.

Again, I am stating the truth.  Why date a woman who you see as a six or a seven just for her personality?  You will not be into her and be too scared to break up with her because she is probably nice since you are not overly pursuing her (funny how that works) and you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

When I said that I was basically saying for guys to go after women that they are attracted to.  The problem with this society is that if you are not kissing women’s asses then you are sexist.  

 

Edited November 6, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[Thestarguitarist14]

I also want to add that this is for guys who are struggling.  Guys who lonely, depressed and etc.  Guys who believe that a relationship will fix their problems.  
 

Sure they can just hop from one failed relationship to the next and learn the hard way.  Or never learn at all.  But if they listen to me, then perhaps they can save a lot of time and a lot of pain on their journey and even get into a good relationship one day.  But they may not even want to get into a relationship at that point.

All I am doing is shinning the light on holes that have been there for years.  Anyone who has done pick up knows these truths all too well.

[Byun Sean]

1 minute ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Not true.  Outside of women only two guys are calling me out.  Yet that is most guys?

Look, believe what you want, I don’t care.  It is your life.  But I just think it is lame to claim to into truth but when someone is spitting hard truths (don’t blame me, blame Mother Nature) some people get upset about that.

And are your posts not just a self deception?  Why are you so focused on me?  Perhaps you should be asking yourself “why is this post triggering me so hard?”  Because you clearly don’t give a shit about me.  

I am focused on you because I care about you and I see some of yourself in me. I've held the same view and I know where your at.

The only value you get from my posts is the possibility of growth that can be had from them.

 

Your heavily wounded and you don't realize it. I'll admit. This is hard stuff. I've been through this.

 

Of course I could leave you alone and you would eventually come to this on your own time but I'm in the spirit of helping so I'm not 'helping' from a

wounded triggered place but I'm willing to make a little conflict with you if it means there is the slight chance what I say will make your life better.

 

So my goal is not to impose an ideology on you or make you believe something. 

My posts will either cause you to look inward and open your mind to the possibility of exploring something about yourself. And you will eventually heal

yourself.

Or you will close your mind off and keep ranting on the forum while you still hold unresolved pain in your relationship to people.

Your choice.

 

By all means. Look inward and realize that I was wrong. 

But don't avoid looking inward at all.

 

[Thestarguitarist14]

1 minute ago, Byun Sean said:

I am focused on you because I care about you and I see some of yourself in me. I've held the same view and I know where your at.

The only value you get from my posts is the possibility of growth that can be had from them.

 

Your heavily wounded and you don't realize it. I'll admit. This is hard stuff. I've been through this.

 

Of course I could leave you alone and you would eventually come to this on your own time but I'm in the spirit of helping so I'm not 'helping' from a

wounded triggered place but I'm willing to make a little conflict with you if it means there is the slight chance what I say will make your life better.

 

So my goal is not to impose an ideology on you or make you believe something. 

My posts will either cause you to look inward and open your mind to the possibility of exploring something about yourself. And you will eventually heal

yourself.

Or you will close your mind off and keep ranting on the forum while you still hold unresolved pain in your relationship to people.

Your choice.

 

By all means. Look inward and realize that I was wrong. 

But don't avoid looking inward at all.

 

Again, what is with the projections?  You do not know what kind of healing and self work I do.  So I’ll give you a hint, it took a lot of healing work for me to get back into this point.  What you see now is a guy who is emotionally detached.

It is funny you keep saying “go inwards” but if I did not do that already I would not be at this point.

Basically instead of be only concerned about controlling my reactions, I am going to take shit by the horns and do things my way.

You (like a lot of people) seem to believe that if you are not with the relationship “program” then you must be wounded.  Guess you do understand women huh? ?.

 

[Arcangelo]

I am 41 I agree with everything you say @Thestarguitarist14

You are dropping gems in this forum. Nothing but cold hard facts. Some guys are not gonna accept it, it's too painful.

Keep preaching bro. Some of us are listening, understanding and living a better life because of you.

 

 

Arc

[egoeimai]

12 hours ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

I just think it is funny that we’re here because we are self actualizing and getting away from ideological thinking yet I see so many guys here either desperately wanting one or under the impression that it something truly special and a key to actualization.

Look, if you want a relationship because you have dated a long time, are tired of all the b.s that comes with dating and have met a woman who you genuinely like and are highly attracted too and she is feminine, is highly sexual, does not give you shit and cooperates, that’s great.  The thing is, most of y’all just want a relationship due to a scarcity mindset because you are not getting laid, you are lonely and you are bored.  You believe that a relationship will fulfill you.  

It will not.

Relationships (this goes for women too) will not make you happy.  In fact it will probably do the opposite.  You guys have parents who have been married for years.  When was the last time you saw them act lovey dovey?  But you see them arguing all the time.

You know why guys like Drake and Leonardo DiCaprio don’t settle down?  It is not because they are lower conscious people.  It is because they have such a high abundance mindset that  they do not need a relationship.  And when they do have one of the woman gives them too much shit, they leave.

If you guys could go out and get the women you truly desire and date three to five women at once I guarantee you that you would not even think about a relationship.  Why?  Because you would automatically have an abundance mindset.  But instead you settle for decent looking women and mediocre relationships that drive you crazy.  

But forget about women.  Let’s be honest, women (people in general) are not that special.  The majority of people are just out for themselves and a woman will drop you in cold blood if it suits her.  Women are just a cover for how you feel about yourself.  How you feel a sense of lack.  How you feel like you are not enough.  Your lack of confidence.  Your lack of self worth.  How you cannot even enjoy your own company.  

So the next time you are like “I need a relationship” why don’t you try to figure out what is really going on?  You will probably discover that you feel empty and that a relationship will not fill up this emptiness.

1000% agree

[Michal__]

3 minutes ago, Khr said:

In your very first post you are dehumanizing women, by saying that ideal woman should be cooperative, not give shit (i.e. agreeable and non-opinionated), hot sex goddes. Go back to the 1800s with this kind of talk. How is telling you not to say this dumb, ignorant shit equivalent to kissing women’s ass? 

Since then, you’ve made plenty of sexist, negatively generalizing (projecting on your poor past experience with women) , but I don’t have time to go through them. Anyways, I’m done here. 

How is that sexist? He's just stating how an ideal woman would be like. Women have their own image of a perfect man too.

It would only be sexist if he expected every woman to be that way, otherwise nothing wrong with having high dating standards.

[Michal__]

14 minutes ago, Khr said:

Wow those actually do seem like high standards for a highly evolved man. Have you considered a blow up doll?

25 minutes ago, Khr said:

 

What kind of a thought-less response is that.

Hey, if blow up dolls are your thing you can go for it, you sure do show a lot of interest in them.

Let people have their own standards, even if it seems shallow to you. Also, being spirituality evolved != not having shallow sexual preferences. 

But that's besides the point, because that's not what the conversation was about in the first place. 

Edited November 6, 2020 by Michal__

[egoeimai]

9 hours ago, Preety_India said:

This is the most absurd shit I've ever heard so far. 

Maybe you chose all the wrong kinds of women. 

If I chose a bad guy as a husband and if I ended a battered woman, it doesn't mean all men are bad. It's my poor choice.

Learn to take personal responsibility for your choices with women. 

 

Absolutely agree. I see some guys are having such bad experience with women. They need to know that women are not like that. 

Edited November 6, 2020 by egoeimai

[Michal__]

9 minutes ago, Khr said:

If dating is just about the sex for you then I feel sorry for you. If you find cooperating / unopinionated women arousing that is your thing too, I hear some men like f*cking donkeys, who am I to judge. 

First, stop putting words in my mouth. I never said I have the same standards as OP.

Second, it is very likely that all my relationships were way deeper than what you'll ever have. So stop assuming stuff about people you don't know, you donkey.

Edit: edited out some insults.

Edited November 6, 2020 by Michal__

[Thestarguitarist14]

@Arcangelo Much appreciated.  Guess there will always be push back with nuanced thoughts.

@Keyhole It is funny.  Most people are only going into relationships because they feel that they cannot meet their own needs (hence neediness).  But when they step and realize that they can, the desire for a relationship fades away.  It is never about the relationship.  It is always about healing wounds.

31 minutes ago, Khr said:

In your very first post you are dehumanizing women, by saying that ideal woman should be cooperative, not give shit (i.e. agreeable and non-opinionated), hot sex goddes. Go back to the 1800s with this kind of talk. How is telling you not to say this dumb, ignorant shit equivalent to kissing women’s ass? How would you like it if women said all men are dumb, selfish, personality disordered narcissists, and should only be treated as walking wallets?

Since then, you’ve made plenty of sexist, negatively generalizing (projecting on your poor past experience with women) , but I don’t have time to go through them. Anyways, I’m done here. 

How is that dehumanizing women?  So I should want a women who annoys the hell out of me?  There are already plenty of those ?.

You clearly hold women on some kind of pedestal.  Women do not hold any kind of special place in my heart.  I see them for who they are, respect them and enjoy them.  But I do not feel the need to act as though I cannot speak frankly about them.

Show me a guy with a good past with women and I will you a guy who has a successful relationship.

[No Self]

52 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

not everyone is destined to find love in the form of another person.

Bingo.

Life is more diverse than people with generic formulae like to make out. Some people die as children. Some are too disabled. Some would have to expend so much effort that it would not be worth it.

Let each being walk their path.

[egoeimai]

9 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Also the next time you are like "I need to leave this relationship" why don't you figure out what's really going on? You will probably discover that you feel unfulfilled and that leaving the relationship will not erase this lack of fulfillment.

If u feel unfulfilled is probably a better choice to leave a relationship or to not even start engaging in one. 

The lack is in you so you and only you can find what you can do. 

Being single gives you the opportunity to discover the lack, work on yourself and not project your insecurities to others. 

[Michal__]

Just now, Khr said:

You’ve stated that those standards OP listed are “high”. From that I inferred if you can call this “high” standards, your standards must be of the same quality.

Looks can be a part of someone's preferences.

Having high standards for looks doesn't mean you won't have high standards for more important things. Hence why good looks can be called high standards when part of whole.

Whether you admit it or not, everyone cares about looks to an extent.

[Michal__]

5 minutes ago, Khr said:

Clearly though, your face is a donkey.

Says the donkey.

[Michal__]

1 minute ago, Khr said:

I am not arguing about looks. Everyone has some form of looks standard. I am arguing against “cooperating” and “not gives me shit”, as well as many other poor generalizations OP made about women.

Yeah, that could have been an interesting addition to the thread if you managed to communicate your opinion without being bitter.

[evgn]

10 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

 The man who puts more effort wins her.

Thats is 100 % false

[Michal__]

Just now, Khr said:

The donkey is what you see when you look in the mirror.

What are you doing in my mirror?

[egoeimai]

9 minutes ago, Michal__ said:

What are you doing in my mirror?

 

10 minutes ago, Khr said:

The donkey is what you see when you look in the mirror.

Hahahahahahahahshaha

Love you guys