Karmadhi

Society REQUIRES Men To PERFORM IN LIFE....Sorry, NO FREE PASS Unless You're FEMALE!

16 posts in this topic

So the title of the post is from a video from a youtuber. He is basically saying that girls all they have to do is look good and society will be a lot softer and nicer to them compared to guys where they have to perform, offer something besides their looks and be strong. If a guy does not do a lot with his life he is considered a loser or a failure while a girl can just marry a successful guy and society in general will overlook her poor performance if she looks good. Guys, even good looking ones do not have those freebies. I want your guys opinion on this. I know it sounds super biased towards guys (and it is) but i think there is some truth to it (just like there is some truth about every perspective). I personally have noticed this in western countries where i live where girls only have to offer looks to at least find a partner. 

 

Edited by Karmadhi

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It's not that one gender has it better. It is simply asymetrical. 

Men might have a harder time starting to have sex, but women simply aren't allowed by society to have sex with as many people as they want. They have to hide it, whereas we can freely brag about how many women we have sex with.

There's nothing unfair about it, each gender has it's pros and cons.

Getting moderately good at anything is easier for women, mastering anything is easier for men. Hormones give men the drive needed to master most subjects.

Women are more broadly oriented and sensitive / men are more focused and driven.

Be grateful for being a man, the same way a woman should be grateful for being a woman.

How many enlightened women have you heard about? Way less than men I assume. And there's way more women dabbling with spirituality than men.

It's expansion vs contraction.

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@Michal__ It is easier for a women to have an easy life than for a men. Women get freebies because they are women and hot, men do not. Only thing men have going on for them is the fact that their value does not decrease rapidly after hitting 35 like it does for women. Also men do not have crazy emotional fluctuations and periods which i have heard are a pain in the ass. There are good and bad things for both sides for sure but i feel like girls have more security than men do. Even in a relationship the man is supposed to be the strong pillar, the emotional mountain where girls cry on. As a men you are judged a lot more for being weak than a woman is. The girls get shamed for sex argument does not work in western countries. In western countries people dont care about girls sleeping a lot, that is a conservative attitude which no longer exists in first world liberal countries. 

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This is a highly self-biased position. 

Women have their own journey that is just as hard if not even more difficult sometimes than for men.

 

A quality man wants a quality girl inside and out.

If a woman never works on herself and has low self esteem for instance, she will attract a partner that is equally selfish and

dysfunctional regardless of how hot she looks. 

 

This can create a cycle of dysfunctional relationships and be very destructive even if the woman looks good on the outside. 

The process of going from a low self esteem average looking- below average girl to a hot quality high self esteem woman is long and difficult.

Beauty standards put so much pressure on women it's insane.

 

You see guys only pay attention to getting the hot quality girl at the end of their own path when they become successful in their life.

What they don't focus on is that just like their are low quality men that are struggling trying to get better with women, low quality women are also

struggling just as much to find a proper relationship with a man, have a support system for her emotions, heal herself of all her inner baggage etc.

 

On top of that women take care of the whole childbirth process and have a period every month.

They generally have a higher need for intimacy than most guys and thus they are always looking for the right mate but they

are limited to the few men that go after them. They have limited time and energy and can only invest her emotions into one man at a time.

 

When a guy breaks up with her it may feel like the world is ending because she doesn't know if she will ever find a man again.

 

See men have the privilige of being the hunter which many guys take for granted. Guys have the freedom to chat

up any woman they like and

possibly attract her if she is single. As the girl. A hot woman will likely put herself in social situations but she won't approach

guys because she is looking for things like

character, status, confidence, funniness, emotional stimulation etc. Those things generally can only be found out by talking

with a guy one on one and getting to know him for a little while. See if she feels safe

around him. That she is attracted to him. That he is attracted to her. That he cares enough he won't pump and dump her. 

 

See most guys though never think about this perspective.

All they see is themselves getting rejected or accepted by the hot girl they want making women seem like they are just a prize that just sits there

effortlessly on her looks waiting to be taken in by a hot rich conscious guy.

 

Guys have their own struggles so I am not arguing one is harder than the other. How the hell would we measure that and

such a debate would be

foolish. I just hope to shed some light on the woman's perspective.

 

 

Edited by Byun Sean

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@Byun Sean Good perspective but i have some points to make.

1. If a girl takes care of herself and looks decent she will get so much positive reinforcement, guys simping on her and society pleasing her than it will be hard for her to have low self esteem

2. Guys struggle about insecurities about looks too. Go on google and type: "Do looks matter", all answers will be regarding whether looks are important for a guy to have. Guys get tossed aside if they are unattractive just as harshly as girls get. (talking about developed countries here)

3. There are plenty of kind caring decent guys out there that will not dumb you and treat you well if a girl wants to date them. You can ignore the alpha traits and get treated super well by a great guy. Being alpha and being a great guy are independent variables.

4. Girls can always approach guys if they want and that gives them a huge advantage. Usually a girl can get a guy who usually wouldn't approach her just because she made it easy for him and since most guys hate approaching, it gives girls a cheat code to get guys since most girls never approach.

5. Even though girls have more need for intimacy than guys do, if guys try to act like they need love and affection then girls tend to loose attraction while guys dont care as long as the girl is hot

The period and that they have limited time, want more intimacy etc arguments are legit. I would like to hear your opinion on the points i made here.

 

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@Karmadhi

47 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

1. If a girl takes care of herself and looks decent she will get so much positive reinforcement, guys simping on her and society pleasing her than it will be hard for her to have low self esteem

Girls aren't looking for sex with any guy. She generally wants a solid relationship which is why she is picky. 

So a bunch low quality guys 'simping' a girl doesn't really do much for her. She's focused on her agenda. She will think "God damn all the guys that go for me suck. All I want is one quality guy that cares for me and doesn't just want to get into my pants and leave."

The guy version of this would be

"Damn all the girls I find attractive friend zone or reject me. All I want is one hot girl!"

Self esteem is much more than confidence in the way you look. It's a sense that you've got life handled and you can take responsibility and get what

you want out of life. It also has to do with the amount that you love yourself which is subjective.

Thats gotta be earned.

Even if you are born with a perfect female body and are like another Kim Kardashian for instance. Your life is still gonna suck ass if you don't work on

your life on the interior too.

47 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

2. Guys struggle about insecurities about looks too. Go on google and type: "Do looks matter", all answers will be regarding whether looks are important for a guy to have. Guys get tossed aside if they are unattractive just as harshly as girls get. (talking about developed countries here)

You do the same with girls you find unattractive. It goes both ways.

Also, a guy that is not insecure won't give a fuck about how he looks. He will go for the girl no matter what because he doesn't fear rejection.

Either he gets the girl or he doesn't. Plain simple. 

The difference is an insecure person is unwilling to accept rejection so they come up with excuses for why they can't do it.

47 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

3. There are plenty of kind caring decent guys out there that will not dumb you and treat you well if a girl wants to date them. You can ignore the alpha traits and get treated super well by a great guy. Being alpha and being a great guy are independent variables.

Again. It's the same thing as a woman you find unattractive walking up to you and saying "Hey I'm attractive, I'm kind, I'm caring. Be my boyfriend! Why

not? You only like those hot bitches? Wow."

See attraction is not a logical choice. It is built into the system. Either you meet those criteria for attracting a certain girl or you don't. So many 'nice

guys' complain because they think by being nice to a woman they deserve sex in return and women generally smell this from a mile away and are

repelled by it.

It's absurd if you think about it. 

"Why aren't you falling for my deception of being a nice guy on the surface but manipulating you for sex behind the scenes? You should be more stupid

and sleep with me for being a weak 'nice guy' anyway. Otherwise you are shallow and stupid and only date 'bad boys' and 'alphas'."

 

Sex and dating is survival. The woman doesn't have to cater to your agenda. She is focused on hers. You are focused on yours. Goes both ways.

 

47 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

4. Girls can always approach guys if they want and that gives them a huge advantage. Usually a girl can get a guy who usually wouldn't approach her just because she made it easy for him and since most guys hate approaching, it gives girls a cheat code to get guys since most girls never approach.

 A woman needs to know if the man has the balls and is into her to risk his emotions and

approach her showing that he really is into her. 

A woman can put herself in social situations and strike up a conversation with men she finds physically attractive and get to know them, but she won't

know if the guy sees her sexually and values her enough until he makes the first move.

Otherwise if she approaches any hot looking guy. He may just pump and dump her which has serious emotional consequences for the woman. Women

often get very attached emotionally after sex.

They are not picky because they are stuck up. They are picky because they need to be.

47 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

5. Even though girls have more need for intimacy than guys do, if guys try to act like they need love and affection then girls tend to loose attraction while guys dont care as long as the girl is hot

 

Because neediness means you are trying to extract happiness from her and get your own needs met. The degree to which you are needy for her

simultaneously shows her how much you don't care about her feelings because you are only focused on meeting your needs and not hers. Your fooling

yourself here. Your not in love with her. Your in love with meeting your needs.

The solution here for the man is to man up and work on himself so he can be in a relationship with a girl to share love with her. Not extract it.

 

Guys do care more about looks for relationships. 

A lot of quality men will know they have options with hot women if they want and thus they will be selecting the one that they feel would be compatible

with in a long term relationship. They look at life situation, personality and character, etc.

High quality men aren't needy for sex. In fact they see sex as a means of satisfying and pleasing the girl more-so than just themselves. 

 

Anyone become a high quality man if they are willing to put in the work.

Edited by Byun Sean

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@Byun Sean Define a high quality man please :)

I love your replies to my points. I do think they are great but there is 1 thing i disagree with. On point 3) i did not say great guy in terms of being nice guy. I am not saying a needy manipulative guy at all. I mean a geniounly kind caring honest cool person. You can be those things without being bold or assertive or dominant or charismatic. A stage green person so to speak. So you can be independent, grounded, decently confident and passionate about stuff without the qualities mentioned above

Edited by Karmadhi

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1 minute ago, Karmadhi said:

i did not say great guy in terms of being nice guy. I am not saying a needy manipulative guy at all. I mean a geniounly kind caring honest cool person. You can be those things without being bold or assertive or dominant or charismatic. A stage green person so to speak

Nowhere is it written in the universe that if you are a great kind caring honest cool guy that you automatically should get the girl you like. 

The girl decides not you.

We must understand guys and girls are not logically choosing who they are attracted to just like you aren't.

There are basic forces of nature involved in attraction in both guys and girls. We can either complain about the rules. Or we can try our best to get what we want inside the boundaries nature set up for us.

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9 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Define a high quality man please :)

All these things increase your value aka quality in the eyes of a woman:

 

consciousness/ love

personality

Detachment from outcome (Non-neediness)

confidence

funniness/ humor

 job and career

money 

looks/ body

social status

 

A lot of these things overlap with each other and there are probably more stuff that can go on here.

These are just the ones I could come up with off the top of my head.

 

You likely don't need to excel in every area to get your dream girl. But maximizing your value always increases your odds.

so like for example if you don't think you excel in looks and body you can work your ass off on your personality, level of consciousness, job and career (maybe work on getting a job position that you love and earns well), socialize more so your more relaxed and detached etc.

 

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6 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

If a guy does not do a lot with his life he is considered a loser or a failure while a girl can just marry a successful guy and ...

The criminal in the room is judgement. The second criminal in the room is personal identity.

One way to look at it is that by the time eternity is done you will have been all the men and all the women, all the races and all the ethnicities.

So if all of that is you, how are you going to identify?

 

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6 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

If a guy does not do a lot with his life he is considered a loser or a failure while a girl can just marry a successful guy and society in general will overlook her poor performance if she looks good. Guys, even good looking ones do not have those freebies.

The question is whether a successful guy even is what a woman wants (truly, not just what she'd fed to believe). Not sure if it will fulfill her.

 

Quote

I personally have noticed this in western countries where i live where girls only have to offer looks to at least find a partner. 

Looks will attract many guys, and nothing wrong with that. But looks alone won't get her a guy she can have a relationship with that's fulfilling. Plus there's also a bunch of girls who struggle with looks too.

 

Just a comment on the channel of the video above. The dude is making videos from/for the RedPill ideology/belief system. It's not necessarily gonna evolve you and grow you to higher levels, I find there are better teachers and resources out there.

Personally I've been down the RedPill/Manosphere rabbit hole, and luckily for me come out better with understanding of ideologies and humility from stepping into it. Did feed some hate and victim mentality and insecurities (in me and other members of it, I saw) precisely because of some (biased, limited perspective) talking points like "Oh, look wome have it so easy." "There's a war on masculinity." "Women are gonna cuck you." (that one lead to me micromanaging interactions, appearing alpha, not beta, ...). Openmindedness didn't "save me" from getting into RedPill, but it helped in getting me out. When I entered I had no clue about most dynamics and concepts.

One of my wake up calls was that (many of) the guys weren't very self-aware of their ego mechanisms, judging, playing victim, blaming women, ... and how basically it eroded my trust in women. This backfired when I finally got a girl I liked (which was the thing I got into RedPill in the first place). Grew me in the end. Still: I don't think you can have a successful deep and authentic and trusting relationship with women when subscribing to the RedPill.

 

Hope this may save you some time. :)


Miracle:    Impossible from an old understanding of reality, but possible from a new one.

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This is so self-biased and misogynistic it's dumb.

Men have no clue the challenges of being female. Zero.

A tiny percentage of women are hot enough to skate by in life on their beauty. But that beauty fades fast. And it doesn't produce happiness.

Men imagine a supermodel and think that all women are like that, when in fact almost no women are like that.

Nobody gets a free pass in life. Not even if you're born to a billionaire.

Life is just as hard for women as it is for men. It's hard in different ways.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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All he says is technically true, but the place from which those guys says it reeks incel culture.

This is not the kind of ideology you want to implant in your mind if you want to be happy in your life.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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