How Seriously I Should Take Dating?

[JoseM]

I'm 27 and I never took dating very seriously. How do you believe being able to have a sexual activities with several women can improve other aspects of my personal life?

I think I'm bit too old and I should focus in developing a good and a long term relationship with a woman instead of being a libertine.

What do you think?

[ProblemSolving]

It depends on your preferences. Don't limit yourself. Don't see your age as a limit. Just be a dude that attracts women. Because the libertine and the long term relationshipper both have to be attractive. But if you strictly just ask for the benefits of having sex with many women, I guess it is all about your confidence. When you had sex with at least 20 women or so, you will never ever in your life worry about women. My problem is only that I enjoy intimacy. So I am not the dude who would just go for a one night stand. Because I am not able to connect with the girl properly. But I would like to do that. To see myself get to the point where I just do something and not worry too much about it. Let the easiness do all the work.

[aurum]

It doesn't matter if you want to be a player or get married. The best relationship comes from being in abundance first. How else can you find a girl you really click with unless you try out a bunch of people?

27 is not old man. You're not even close to your prime, assuming you've been working on yourself for some time.

[Frogfucius]

As seriously as you want to take it. It makes no difference if you sleep with 100 different women or 0, or if you get into a serious relationship. It's great experience, but it doesn't define you or make you happier inside, it's just a boon to the ego.

I'm 25 and never have dated seriously. I've always wanted to, but psychologically I've held myself back. It was low self-esteem. With meditation and introspection, I'm slowly curing my confidence and emotional issues. But with that, I have realized that I don't actually care about sex and dating as much as I did when I had very low self-esteem. Those were desires that actually held me back from growing. I still enjoy these things, but I could never have intimacy with another person again and be completely okay with it. It's all an illusion, anyways. Everything we chase and desire are for our own ego and survival. But whatever makes you happy. Go out there and conquer the world, if that's what you need to do.

Edited August 2, 2016 by Frogfucius

[egoeimai]

@JoseM  well I dont think that there is better and worse road to follow. 

If you like to date several women do it. Go ahead.

And If you like a long term relationship with woman,ho ahead and fight for it.

There are both things you can acheive and have,so theres no right or wrong.

Ps. If you think you are a bit too old,to whatever your "heart" is telling you.

Who knows.

Find what you really want and choose.

[egoeimai]

5 hours ago, Frogfucius said:

It's all an illusion, anyways. Everything we chase and desire are for our own ego and survival. But whatever makes you happy. Go out there and conquer the world, if that's what you need to do.

 I totally agree

[Beam]

I suggest to start a causal sexual friendship with a girl your currently attracted but have not asked out , don't  get caged by the first girl you bed , like people would do in the 1950's

Get out there and be a man , unruly and all if only for a short while to allow yourself that growth.

[MIARIVEL]

@JoseM I guess if you are asking that question you don't really know what you want. I don't think you are ready for a committed relationship by what you have said, however I don't think its a bad thing to have casual thing with women so long as you are both on the same page with where you both stand with things. 

Sometimes it is scary the thought of settling down with one person, especially for a guy and it doesn't matter how old you are. I don't think anyone should just settle because 'its the right thing to do' or 'society says that this is how it should be'.

Do what makes you happy and if you decide to get into a committed relationship, make sure you are ready to give everything to someone else and be committed. If not, then just have fun. 

[FindingPeace]

On 02/08/2016 at 3:58 PM, Frogfucius said:

With meditation and introspection, I'm slowly curing my confidence and emotional issues. But with that, I have realized that I don't actually care about sex and dating as much as I did when I had very low self-esteem. Those were desires that actually held me back from growing.

This is very true. People may say that it's a human 'need' to pursue sex and relationships but actually, with inner work, it can be see that it isn't an inherent need at all. Nature programmed us with a drive to reproduce but we humans have the psychological ability to see past that drive. The more peace of mind I cultivate through mindfulness, meditation and general inner work etc the more I see what 'needs' are not needs at all and also how peaceful I can feel without chasing all these things. I've come to relalize that I care less about things that I once cared so much about. Including relationships.

 

[Christian]

It really depends. It depends what values you have as a person and what you really want in life. But I would say that if you are stuck in this area, value intimate relationships and are 27, I would take this area extremely seriously if you really want to figure this area of your life out. 

Maybe look into RSD. They have great advice on how to attract women. But don't do all of the manipulative stuff that they preach sometimes because that can cause suffering. Be authentic and honest when you talk to people. 

And if you do not want to fix this area because you really do not care, then do what you find valueable to your life and do what can bring you true fulfillment.. 

Lots of meditation might help with that  

[egoeimai]

On Tuesday, August 02, 2016 at 11:04 PM, popi said:

@JoseM  well I dont think that there is better and worse road to follow. 

If you like to date several women do it. Go ahead.

And If you like a long term relationship with woman,ho ahead and fight for it.

There are both things you can acheive and have,so theres no right or wrong.

Ps. If you think you are a bit too old,to whatever your "heart" is telling you.

Who knows.

Find what you really want and choose.

Who gave me a bad reputation to this?

[Beam]

I like what you had to say in the post @popi
Makes sense and leaves the door open for the person to decide what they want.

Where as I suggest he get laid for a while , like I know whats best for him. I don't.
 

Sometimes the first person one dates turns into a life long marriage.