Difficulties of spiritual seeking in modern world

[Sick Boy]

Hello, I am facing some obstacles when following spiritual teachings:

• Since I'm calmer, I could be boring for a lot of people now
• Loneliness, my friends wants to party but now noisy environments don't attract me anymore
• Going to the gym, I'm losing some of my motivation maybe because part of it was ego driven, or maybe since I'm calmer I have less steam to blow off. Not totally sure why.
• I feel like everyone in the world is searching dopamine hit after dopamine hit (whatever it is, videogames, being the center of attention, instagram, flirting, caffeine...), and it's very hard for me to not fall into the same trap
• FOMO. Specially regarding girls

Do you know any source of information that goes deep into these problems? Maybe books or essays?

Thanks!!

[Leo Gura]

What info could you expect?

The solution is to let all that shit go and focus on awakening to the fact that you are God.

Spirituality is a radical move.

But it's worth it in the end.

[Sick Boy]

For me its very hard to let go of all these things.

Next month I'll probably have an ayahuasca retreat and maybe I'll wake up to the fact of whats really important.

But some information about how other people struggle with this things and how they manage them may help.

Thanks!!

[Rilles]

why do you think ascetics go into caves, forests and deserts, its not just our modern society, its always been this way

[Sick Boy]

1 minute ago, Rilles said:

why do you think ascetics go into caves, forests and deserts, its not just our modern society, its always been this way

Yes, I realized it while I was typing this post haha

One video Leo shot that was very helpful was "Lifestyle Minimalism - Renouncing Your Busy Stupid Life". I was hoping for more inspirational sources of information like that

But maybe the best motivation would be just doing some psychodelics. After tasting the fruit of God, every other thing may fall for itself.

[ttm]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

The solution is to let all that shit go and focus on awakening to the fact that you are God.

As if "cut the shit and enlighten already" wasn't unhelpful enough on it's own, expressing it like that it makes it totally backwards, as mind starts with an answer "ok, I have to realize I'm god" and try to fit experiences to match all the stuff that it thinks god means.

If you want to give unhelpful advice to concrete real life situations, at least make it something like "focus on awakening to what is true of you".

[Sick Boy]

9 minutes ago, ttm said:

As if "cut the shit and enlighten already" wasn't unhelpful enough on it's own, expressing it like that it makes it totally backwards, as mind starts with an answer "ok, I have to realize I'm god" and try to fit experiences to match all the stuff that it thinks god means.

If you want to give unhelpful advice to concrete real life situations, at least make it something like "focus on awakening to what is true of you".

Hahahaha don't be so harsh. I understand where Leo is coming from, when you have walked so much down the path of spirituality these petty problems seems like nonsense.

But yeah, I'm still dealing with those petty problems and they are not easy for me. I would like to know how other have managed them.

Edited February 25, 2020 by Sick Boy

[mandyjw]

What is the core fear or fears behind all of that? Is it fear of missing out?

Are you afraid of missing out on spiritual rewards or "earthly" ones? Or both? 

What beliefs might you hold that would cause you to fear this? 

[Sick Boy]

5 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

What is the core fear or fears behind all of that? Is it fear of missing out?

Are you afraid of missing out on spiritual rewards or "earthly" ones? Or both? 

What beliefs might you hold that would cause you to fear this? 

It's not only fear, it feels bad to miss sexual opportunities, chances to increase my reputation, develop more muscle and better body so I feel proud and admired... I guess my reptilian/mammal brain is punishing me for missing chances to increase my reproduction/survival opportunities.

Edited February 25, 2020 by Sick Boy

[mandyjw]

@Sick Boy Working on relationships, sex, and working out are all spiritual pursuits. There are no pursuits outside of spirituality. If you go too far in one direction, needing that direction to be the right one, or seeking yourself in it you'll cause yourself suffering. The entire purpose of spirituality, really if we're being honest is to move in the direction of feeling good. The catch is that feeling good isn't what the material world "thinks" and spirituality attempts to see through this.

Here's the secret. Feeling good isn't what spiritual people "think" it is either. 

The trouble is that fulfillment can't come from outside us, and it doesn't come from slamming the door in the face of the outside world either. You have to balance carefully and listen to your intuition. 

Why can't you have both? Why the conflict? 

 

[Sick Boy]

13 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@Sick Boy Working on relationships, sex, and working out are all spiritual pursuits. There are no pursuits outside of spirituality. If you go too far in one direction, needing that direction to be the right one, or seeking yourself in it you'll cause yourself suffering. The entire purpose of spirituality, really if we're being honest is to move in the direction of feeling good. The catch is that feeling good isn't what the material world "thinks" and spirituality attempts to see through this.

Here's the secret. Feeling good isn't what spiritual people "think" it is either. 

The trouble is that fulfillment can't come from outside us, and it doesn't come from slamming the door in the face of the outside world either. You have to balance carefully and listen to your intuition. 

Why can't you have both? Why the conflict? 

 

I feel that when I pursuit sex, videogames or reputation, they hinder my spiritual development.

When they are part of my life, they are like a big alarm on my brain, they are "easy" to follow, still ultimately unsatisfactory, yes, but easy regardless. They start to occupy more and more of my time and "brain power" and spirituality starts to fall aside.

When I try to follow a spiritual path and disregard the things I mentioned before, meditating more, not having any caffeine, not flirting when 5 different women, I feel calmer, clearer, but there is a lot of dullness in my life and I feel isolated. Life doesn't feel exciting anymore.

I'm the only one feeling like this?

Edited February 25, 2020 by Sick Boy

[mandyjw]

@Sick Boy No. Sometimes you just have to step back from things for a while. 

[LfcCharlie4]

Common issues. 

You can still have a girlfriend mate and grow spiritually, in fact they help expose your blind spots in regards to awakening often. 

You can enjoy partying, and embrace the joy in it. 

Learn to enjoy the gym and take a more holistic approach to health, aesthetics is one part of that. I also had a similar issue, but now focus on enjoying my workouts, progressing in strength and muscular development but the number one focus for me will always be health. MAybe you don't enjoy the Gym (I LOVE it) so find exercise you do enjoy and take that up, enjoyment is everything! 

Yep, but you can still enjoy games if you want and social media, just not as an escape but more as a source of enjoyment, your relationship to entertainment will change for the better, trust me. 

In regards to girls, either do a more Conscious form of typical pick up where you learn social skills but don't manipulate women, or get out and find a GF to develop a meaningful relationship. 

Spirituality should enhance your life, not make you live one you hate! 

However, sometimes, we need breaks from things to focus on other things. 

[Mongu9719]

@Sick Boy i understand what you’re going through. I had to struggle to let go of my habits, but here’s what I learned. Initially when you develop a routine like yoga, it will be hard to let go of these external distractions, however if you did it for long enough, you will naturally drift away from these things. My second piece of advice is surround yourself with people who have healthy habits, this is a huge one and I have seen people who were overweight in high school become extremely fit because their friends in college were gym freaks. 3rd piece of advice, go cold turkey by going on retreats back to back. I recommend Isha yoga. My final piece of advice for you is to get it out of your system,but at the same time pay attention to how it is affecting you. What I mean by this is to go party as much as you want, eat as much fast food as you want but then keep a mental note on how it affects you. This will make you stop, although it is not guaranteed to work. Watch the video “awareness alone is curative” by Leo.

[Malken]

@Mongu9719 Any specific reason you recommend Isha yoga oppose to other types of yoga like kundalini/kriya?

[Sick Boy]

Thanks for the responses.

Also, I have found a book by Jack Kornfield that may help:

After The Ecstasy, The Laundry

I do Bikram Yoga, it may not be as powerful as other types of yoga for spiritual development but I like the mix of calming the mind, correcting the posture of my spine and body, challenge and being half naked surrounded by lots of women, it motivates me haha

Edited February 25, 2020 by Sick Boy

[Nexeternity]

@Sick Boy

1.  You can find people that enjoy our silence.  They can appreciate your presence.

2. Try contact improvisation.  Its a type of dance that is done in silence.  Lots of really nice spiritual folk dance it.

3.   Try yoga or something else that you will be motivated to do, dance also.

4.  Good! Thats not a problem, thats a good thing.  You will just need to find people that are like you too.

5.  You might miss out on some girls at first but in the end you will meet a lot of calm, spiritual, artistic and intelligent girls that will be much more nourishing for you then more normal girls.

[Sick Boy]

30 minutes ago, Nexeternity said:

@Sick Boy

1.  You can find people that enjoy our silence.  They can appreciate your presence.

2. Try contact improvisation.  Its a type of dance that is done in silence.  Lots of really nice spiritual folk dance it.

3.   Try yoga or something else that you will be motivated to do, dance also.

4.  Good! Thats not a problem, thats a good thing.  You will just need to find people that are like you too.

5.  You might miss out on some girls at first but in the end you will meet a lot of calm, spiritual, artistic and intelligent girls that will be much more nourishing for you then more normal girls.

Yes, I guess that not being surrounded by like minded people makes the journey harder and lonelier.

• I work in a corporate environment and nobody cares about these things and I feel like a misfit, like if I don't behave in the same way I'm missing the party of life or something
• People in the gym are very ego-driven, to be honest I'm lifting for the same reasons as them, but the health part of lifting weights is nice
• In Bikram Yoga, we don't talk much so we can't really dig into each other
• Sometimes I do Wim Hof Method retreats from time to time, people there are great, lots of them are very into health, nutrition, spirituality and psychodelics, but I don't do these retreats so often to not to feel as a weirdo in my day to day life
• I'm very fortunate to have an open relationship with a calm girl who is open to learn about spirituality and try psychodelics, this helps

But probably this struggle to incorporate spirituality into everyday life is something that almost everybody felt. That's why I was looking for resources that motivate and help me.

Edited February 25, 2020 by Sick Boy

[LovingAwareness]

@Sick Boy Buddhism suggests something called "The Middle Way" of moderation, between the extremes of sensual indulgence and self-mortification. Getting too attached to friends/girls/the gym will only lead to eventual disappointment, and so will restricting activities entirely. That restriction is actually attachment in disguise. 

Just keep gently following the clues. You'll find your balance. 

[Sick Boy]

@LovingAwareness Thanks for your first post!! Seeing that people already saw difficult to balance both ways of life encourages me a bit.

Also, the video "Successful People Are Not Happy" from Leo talks about the trap where everyone around me is into.