no change for me !

[Ingit]

Meditating for over last 1 year.... Trying to get conscious of my mind patterns... But Nah Lately I feel like I haven’t overcomed anything yet.... Midst of the low self esteem and doubt...I can see it happening with me but The attachment seems so strong that I feel helpless and Like I can’t do anything....and feels disappointed.. Tired of getting conscious of my speaking mind again and again. ?‍♂️ 

[Anton Rogachevski]

@Ingit

By what you write it seems like you have a great progress, but you just haven't researched or understood meditation deep enough to see it. Go deeper, and keep at it. Try different techniques until one clicks with you. Keep reading spiritual texts and contemplate them, you need a conceptual framework before you can get into the deeper stages.

[Aaron p]

@Ingit what are you?

[Ingit]

4 hours ago, Aaron p said:

@Ingit what are you?

Genuinely if I answer what I feel is: I am Ingit and that is what my identity is. On the surface I know that We are all same, But differently conditioned.

[roar]

Your identity, Ingit, is made in your mind.  You are not your mind.  Who is being Ingit?

[Aaron p]

When you say "ingit" what are you pointing to? Because I'm assuming you don't mean that you are literally the word "ingit". What makes up ingit? Notice, you will probably say "thoughts" "body" "brain". And yet is there multiple "you's"? If there is one thing that exists, that is ingit...tell me what that one thing is 

6 hours ago, Ingit said:

Genuinely if I answer what I feel is: I am Ingit and that is what my identity is. On the surface I know that We are all same, But differently conditioned.

@Ingit

Edited October 23, 2019 by Aaron p

[Ingit]

@roar Now that you asked me  who is being Ingit ! I literally paused for a minute watching inside me the same: what I feel was, Confused as I was questioning myself That who is being Ingit...but i dont get any clue... It seems so boring and dissociative feeling while asking and looking that inside me and I don’t want any dissociation.

[Ingit]

@Aaron p I feelmyself with that word... and like I right now felt myself... Like a distorted view of all my body parts confines Ingit

[Aaron p]

Try to allow the mind to slow down when enquiring into what you are. 

Is it not only reasonable that I ask what you mean when you say the word "me"? If I was telling you a story about a "holopromo" and how a holopromo is the best thing ever and how it's amazing. You would need to slow me down and ask me "wait wait wait Aaron, what is a holopromo?" Before we move on to talking *about* it. 

You need to know what something is before you can talk about it. If you are confused about what you are, then do not talk about it. Find out what you are.

Edited October 23, 2019 by Aaron p

[Aaron p]

@Ingit @Ingit if you exist, what are you? Don't leave your direct experience, if you exist then you exist in your direct experience right now. Are you the skull? Are you the heart? Are you the thoughts? Or are all of these replaceable? And what is not being replaced? 

Are you a collection of bones? Or are these bones also surgically replaceable? And what is not replaced? If you say "I am the brain", what would happen if a doctor successfully transplanted one half of your brain into one person, and the other half into someone elses brain. Which one would be you? 

[Ingit]

@Aaron p lol I searched up the word Holopromo(seems like a polemon stuff) 

24 minutes ago, Aaron p said:

@Ingit @Ingit if you exist, what are you? Don't leave your direct experience, if you exist then you exist in your direct experience right now. Are you the skull? Are you the heart? Are you the thoughts? Or are all of these replaceable? And what is not being replaced? 

Are you a collection of bones? Or are these bones also surgically replaceable? And what is not replaced? If you say "I am the brain", what would happen if a doctor successfully transplanted one half of your brain into one person, and the other half into someone elses brain. Which one would be you? 

Yes Maybe I am not ready yet.. But i am continuously moment by moment trying out to get aware of my talking brain. Sometimes I feel fearful of my thought voices saying one moment the one thing and the another the another.... For the direct experience  (being in the moment) I try to notice as much as I can but unfortunately thoughts pound up and defines my moment and then I become sad again... That is how much power I have given away into.

[Aeris]

4 hours ago, Ingit said:

@roar Now that you asked me  who is being Ingit ! I literally paused for a minute watching inside me the same: what I feel was, Confused as I was questioning myself That who is being Ingit...but i dont get any clue... It seems so boring and dissociative feeling while asking and looking that inside me and I don’t want any dissociation.

there is no dissociation, you've already dissociated yourself, what you call "me" is a dissociation, what they point to is association.

you're currently separated.

[Nahm]

@Ingit

“no change for me”

You are what does not change. The awareness of the arising thoughts. 

21 hours ago, Ingit said:

Midst of the low self esteem and doubt...I can see it happening with me but The attachment seems so strong

This is conditioning at play. Through experiencing life you created beliefs about yourself, relative to the experiences. Maybe from being around someone with low esteem, maybe from being around someone who made you feel like less than you are. The “change”, is no longer following suit, no longer living conditionally, the past filtering the truth of your greatness of this moment right now. 

What experiences transpired in my past, who was I around - where did I pick up this perspective, this habit thought?

Can I understand why they were that way?   Can I understand why I feel and think this way, can I understand how I was influenced?

Can I understand that in truth - I can let these beliefs go now? 

Strong attachment = identified with. You don’t need to meditate, but it helps clear the mind. You don’t need to become anything Ingit. You’re great. You just need to allow the willingness to see this truth, by letting go of beliefs which don’t serve you anymore. Put how you feel first, and the life you want follows. It is already well underway, and this letting go is part of your path.  It can be no other way, as you and your reality are of the same vibration. 

[Ingit]

@Nahm ??? YES THANK YOU... let me see it myself... I need to face myself and get to the root. I know I fed myself with something back when My Mind had been too fragile.. ! 

[Nahm]

@Ingit  Not trying to be devils advocate, or the riddler...but... 

You can’t really “see it in myself’...you have to feel it...because you are yourself, you are already “it”. Letting beliefs and armors go seems scary, because it means we’re learning what it means to be vulnerable. It means we can be hurt. But vulnerable ends up being the greatest power there is. Again, you are already that. Of course, it turns out, this true power you really are, can never be hurt. That what is childlike, innocent, and vulnerable, is also limitless power, and unconditional love - that’s a bit much for anyone. Be patient, and keep bringing love into your life. Love yourself, take care of yourself, love stuff, love experience, love everyone you possibly can. That’s “facing yourself”. We arrive at the root, where we already are, who we already are, by letting all else go. “Your mind” was never fragile. Your heart, love, is all things; fragile and unbreakable, fallible and infallible. 

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return”.  - Nat King Cole

 

[Ingit]

@Nahm ? Appreciate That.... I feel stronger.

[Nahm]

1 minute ago, Ingit said:

feel

??♥️

[zeroISinfinity]

49 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Ingit  Not trying to be devils advocate, or the riddler...but... 

You can’t really “see it in myself’...you have to feel it...because you are yourself, you are already “it”. Letting beliefs and armors go seems scary, because it means we’re learning what it means to be vulnerable. It means we can be hurt. But vulnerable ends up being the greatest power there is. Again, you are already that. Of course, it turns out, this true power you really are, can never be hurt. That what is childlike, innocent, and vulnerable, is also limitless power, and unconditional love - that’s a bit much for anyone. Be patient, and keep bringing love into your life. Love yourself, take care of yourself, love stuff, love experience, love everyone you possibly can. That’s “facing yourself”. We arrive at the root, where we already are, who we already are, by letting all else go. “Your mind” was never fragile. Your heart, love, is all things; fragile and unbreakable, fallible and infallible. 

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return”.  - Nat King Cole

 

Yeah I guess It's True. But it is difficult when you are an empath and it's not Just conditioning because you do not know What your own feelings are. Especially if you are surrounded with People Who are surrounded are so devoid from core and All their fears and negative Emotions become your own and you vibrate that and receive same negative experiences back to yourself. Getting stuck in loop without salvation. You are not the one which hates yet your field is filled with that. 

Edited October 23, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[Nahm]

2 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

Yeah I guess It's True. But it is difficult when you are an empath and it's not Just conditioning because you do not know What your own feelings are.

For sure. Much easier if one is not defined or identified as an “empath”. Such a personified duality would subtly separate (in thought) one “from one’s own feelings”, via experience of all yang, filtered through the thin veil of that yin. Empathic is more a fragrance of love, than love itself, imo. 

Especially if you are surrounded with People Who are surrounded are so devoid from core and All their fears and negative Emotions become your own and you vibrate that and receive same negative experiences back to yourself. Getting stuck in loop without salvation.

No doubt that is suffrage, but hold the phone on ‘without salvation’.....wait for it...waaaaiiiiit for it.......

You are not the one which hates yet your field is filled with that. 

Can not be so. You can catch a lot of fish with the lure of  “your field”, but not this one. And more relevantly, not this one reading this either. 

 

[zeroISinfinity]

@Nahm OK Conciousness you got "me". 

It's All you. It's All you. Ok. ❤️

Alice chopped Dragon's head off so I guess Dragon has to die completelly. 

Absolutism or TRUTH does indeed makes you sound like some crazy guy. 

Feeling guilt Just because no one else or Just rare feel What happens when Ego is dead. That's sad. 

Edited October 23, 2019 by zeroISinfinity