Michael Paul

A warning to those pursuing Kundalini

100 posts in this topic

10 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

Hi everyone, 

New here, joined specifically because there are a number of interesting Kundalini-related discussions going on, which I'd like to participate in. I do recognise a couple of people from other forums.

I have also experienced a Kundalini Awakening, which was either spontaneous or a result of spiritual practice and study, depending on your perspective. The date when it happened, December 2012, makes me think it wasn't coincidental and was always meant to happen during that time and the way it did. I know several people who also experienced awakenings at around the same time, so it would seem to me that some sort of subtle spiritual or perhaps density shift did take place at around that time and it triggered something in people who were sensitive to it or ready to experience an awakening.

As Michael stated in his OP, it is a dangerous thing, a Kundalini Awakening and the potential for things to go wrong is very real. After the initial euphoria (my experience was essentially identical to what Gopi Krishna describes in his books, which I only found out about afterwards), I went through what is generally known as the "Dark Night of the Soul" and suffered from many neurological and psychological issues, including chest pain, panic attacks and related agoraphobia. I was unemployed for several years as I was basically unable to function normally and received no help at all, from anyone. 

Thankfully, I had ample savings and managed to gradually work through my various problems and issues, to the extent that I am fine now and enjoying the positive side of being "awake" if you want to call it that. I also received substantial divine help and developed a close personal relationship with various deities over the years, who saved my life and sanity as well as a few other people I asked them to assist with. I don't want to go into this now, but perhaps I will write about it in more detail at a later stage. 

If you have any questions or concerns, or need help with any issues you are experiencing, Kundalini-wise, feel free to ask, I will do my best to try and help.

Welcome to Forum.

Daniel Ingram talks about a useful map which describes the phases of spiritual progress. 

He talks about Arising and Passing Event (which is called Kundalini Awakening by some), after which there is no way back. He says you feel euphoria after this event for some time, but then you enter Dark Night of the Soul. So I guess Dark Night of the Soul is inevitable after Kundalini and there is more than "the potential for things to go wrong", actually it will definitely go wrong or more precisely go right in terms of the map. Because this is what supposed to happen.

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17 minutes ago, Buba said:

Welcome to Forum.

Daniel Ingram talks about a useful map which describes the phases of spiritual progress. 

He talks about Arising and Passing Event (which is called Kundalini Awakening by some), after which there is no way back. He says you feel euphoria after this event for some time, but then you enter Dark Night of the Soul. So I guess Dark Night of the Soul is inevitable after Kundalini and there is more than "the potential for things to go wrong", actually it will definitely go wrong or more precisely go right in terms of the map. Because this is what supposed to happen.

Thanks.

I checked it out, it would seem this is a meditative concept within Buddhism. I am less familiar with that, but what you say about the Dark Night of the Soul sounds about right. I certainly had to fight my battles with it in every sense of the word.

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1 hour ago, Dumuzzi said:

Thanks.

I checked it out, it would seem this is a meditative concept within Buddhism. I am less familiar with that, but what you say about the Dark Night of the Soul sounds about right. I certainly had to fight my battles with it in every sense of the word.

Did you keep meditating or doing other practices in Dark Night of the Soul?

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3 minutes ago, Buba said:

Did you keep meditating or doing other practices in Dark Night of the Soul?

Intermittently. I tried various things. Meditating, not meditating, making changes to my diet, spending more time in nature, walking, that sort of thing. In the end, nothing really worked, except giving it time and letting the process unfold by itself. I had to make major changes to my life. Left my job, stopped going out and socialising. Eventually I decided to move countries too, to stay away from the big city and save on living costs, as I was living in London at the time, which was highly detrimental to my state of mind. I could not bear to be anywhere near crowds, a problem in a city of 15 million, where the only way to get around is on obscenely crowded tube carriages.

 

To be fair, I did got a lot of help from the Goddess herself, both in her localised form as the Kundalini Shakti and also in her other, personalised forms.

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13 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

Intermittently. I tried various things. Meditating, not meditating, making changes to my diet, spending more time in nature, walking, that sort of thing. In the end, nothing really worked, except giving it time and letting the process unfold by itself. I had to make major changes to my life. Left my job, stopped going out and socialising. Eventually I decided to move countries too, to stay away from the big city and save on living costs, as I was living in London at the time, which was highly detrimental to my state of mind. I could not bear to be anywhere near crowds, a problem in a city of 15 million, where the only way to get around is on obscenely crowded tube carriages.

 

To be fair, I did got a lot of help from the Goddess herself, both in her localised form as the Kundalini Shakti and also in her other, personalised forms.

My Kundalini is not awakened. But I have experienced Dark Night of the Soul. I did not feel I exist. Life was meaningless and empty. I had severe headaches. Fear, depression, anxiety was severe.

Glad you are better now. In Daniel Ingram's map Dark Night of the Soul is followed by Equanimity phase. Can you conform you are in Equanimity now?

https://mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/11-equanimity/

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12 minutes ago, Buba said:

My Kundalini is not awakened. But I have experienced Dark Night of the Soul. I did not feel I exist. Life was meaningless and empty. I had severe headaches. Fear, depression, anxiety was severe.

Glad you are better now. In Daniel Ingram's map Dark Night of the Soul is followed by Equanimity phase. Can you conform you are in Equanimity now?

https://mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/11-equanimity/

I'm not that familiar with the different stages of Vipassana, I follow my own meditative practice. Looking at the link you posted, stage 15, fruition, is what happened to me 7 years ago, it describes my state of mind, when the Kundalini pierced through the veil of illusion and broke through to the Sahasrara. I then experienced universal consciousness, expanding into infinity in an explosion of light and becoming boundless, which was also the most exquisitely pleasurable feeling I have ever experienced, like a thousand orgasms. I was all-knowing and infinite in that state, though I don't know how long it lasted, probably about an hour or so. When I returned to my body, I felt small and constrained and I could only remember a fraction of the infinite knowledge I had access to, in my boundless, universal state, though it was still a lot more understanding and wisdom than I had before the breakthrough happened. 

Since then, I am at the stage which is referred to as the Drinking of Soma. There is a constant, drip-drip release of Soma into my brain, at the top of my head. It is hot and intensely pleasurable. My energetic system then distributes each drop of Soma along the body and it is effecting a slow transformation, to what I presume is a higher vibratory state. What I referred to as my "DNOTS" was actually my energetic system trying to adjust to this higher vibratory state, though I now see that this is not what you mean by the term. I did have an earlier stage of difficulty, when the energy was stuck at my heart chakra and I could barely breathe or move as well as think or function normally. I was saved by divine intervention. 

I hope its clear, I know these concepts can get complicated and jumbled up at times.

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29 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

I'm not that familiar with the different stages of Vipassana, I follow my own meditative practice. Looking at the link you posted, stage 15, fruition, is what happened to me 7 years ago, it describes my state of mind, when the Kundalini pierced through the veil of illusion and broke through to the Sahasrara. I then experienced universal consciousness, expanding into infinity in an explosion of light and becoming boundless, which was also the most exquisitely pleasurable feeling I have ever experienced, like a thousand orgasms. I was all-knowing and infinite in that state, though I don't know how long it lasted, probably about an hour or so. When I returned to my body, I felt small and constrained and I could only remember a fraction of the infinite knowledge I had access to, in my boundless, universal state, though it was still a lot more understanding and wisdom than I had before the breakthrough happened. 

Since then, I am at the stage which is referred to as the Drinking of Soma. There is a constant, drip-drip release of Soma into my brain, at the top of my head. It is hot and intensely pleasurable. My energetic system then distributes each drop of Soma along the body and it is effecting a slow transformation, to what I presume is a higher vibratory state. What I referred to as my "DNOTS" was actually my energetic system trying to adjust to this higher vibratory state, though I now see that this is not what you mean by the term. I did have an earlier stage of difficulty, when the energy was stuck at my heart chakra and I could barely breathe or move as well as think or function normally. I was saved by divine intervention. 

I hope its clear, I know these concepts can get complicated and jumbled up at times.

Very interesting. I have never read something similar.

Concepts and terms are different over traditions, schools, people and etc. Your terms and experiences are new to me. Thank you for sharing, it is very valuable for me. I guess all this pain was due to you growing.

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55 minutes ago, Buba said:

Very interesting. I have never read something similar.

Concepts and terms are different over traditions, schools, people and etc. Your terms and experiences are new to me. Thank you for sharing, it is very valuable for me. I guess all this pain was due to you growing.

You're welcome. 

I'm self-taught and did not follow any specific Guru or school. I'm most drawn to the esoteric, Tantric aspect of Kundalini. I experience her as a Goddess, who comes to me in many forms, including Sumerian, Buddhist and Hindu forms. They are in essence the same, but over thousands of years, different forms of her became popular in different parts of the world. 

In terms of my experiences, they are pretty identical to Gopi Krishna's. I'd recommend his books on the subject, most of them are available on Scribd or as pdfs online, on many websites. He took a much more rational approach though and did not think of the Kundalini energy as a Goddess, like I do.

I have also practiced the retention of semen and the transmutation of sexual energies to a higher, spiritual purpose. In this process, the downward flowing sexual force is transmuted in the muladhara, at the base of the spine and forced upwards, to feed the Kundalini Awakening / Enlightenment process. This is a Tantric practice known as Urdhvareta. As a result, 100 percent of my sexual energies and fluids are transmuted and flow upwards, into the brain, along the spinal column. There is no outwardly visible release of any seminal fluids, but this is now an organic, natural process that happens automatically. Gopi Krishna wrote about it and Mahatma Gandhi was a practitioner too, it is believed, this is what gave him his extraordinary powers of persuasion and mental acuity. I did not specifically seek it out, it is something I did instinctively, following the guidance of the Goddess. I still experience orgasms, but they are of the full-body type, concentrated along the spine and the top two chakras, as very pleasurable heat and spiritual light. This happens during meditation, when I allow the Kundalini to rise to the very top and pierce the Sahasrara. 

Gopi Krishna and many sages and saints could keep their Kundalini raised for three days and nights, after which it got lodged in the Sahasrara permanently, giving them a permanent spiritual glow. This is the final stage of Illumination and is depicted as a halo that shines particularly around the head. All saints in all religions are depicted in this way, for this reason. I can keep my Kundalini raised for an hour at most, but hopefully one day I'll get there. In Hinduism, such illuminated sages are called Jivanmukta, in Jainism, Tirtankhara, and I believe Boddhisattva is the term used in Buddhism. 

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@Dumuzzi Interesting.

Have you heard about Om Swami? I had thought about him when I read your post. Tantra and Mother Divine played a huge role in his realization too.

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10 hours ago, Girzo said:

@Dumuzzi Interesting.

Have you heard about Om Swami? I had thought about him when I read your post. Tantra and Mother Divine played a huge role in his realization too.

No, I have not. Looks like he's worth checking out, though. The path of Tantra is probably the oldest one to reaching enlightenment. Even mainstream archeologists think that serpent and goddess worship (the two are intimately connected in the form of Kundalini Shakti) goes back at least 70.000 years or more.

I guess everyone has their own path, but the one that worked for me, was to develop a personal relationship with the Goddess. Yes, I meditated and practised some basic Yoga, Tantra and Pranayama techniques, but what ultimately led to my awakening was the Grace of the Goddess. I really think, that many people seeking Enlightenment underestimate how much that counts for.

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43 minutes ago, Sambodhi said:

How do you open your throat chakra?

Hi Sambodhi.

It depends on the Grace of the Goddess. My abilities in this respect are modest, but I passed on some of her Grace, which may help to overcome any blockages. It is best to ask her directly in whatever form you're comfortable with. 

For instance, Buddhists may prefer her form as Tara or Kwan Yin. Hindus might prefer Durga or Mahakali. It doesn't matter, she enjoys all of her forms equally. Catholics would probably be most comfortable with her form as the Holy Spirit or Queen of Heaven. I'm not promoting any particular religion, just saying it doesn't matter in the end, her presence and grace is universal as Kundalini Shakti.

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@Dumuzzi how do you connect with the goddess, what is your process to connect with her? or what is the best way to receive guidence from her do you think?

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6 minutes ago, bobbyward said:

@Dumuzzi how do you connect with the goddess, what is your process to connect with her? or what is the best way to receive guidence from her do you think?

A lot would depend on your own cultural and religious background. Without knowing much about you, say you feel closest to the Buddhist world view, you can relate to the Goddess in her form as Tara or Kwan Yin. You can find images of them online, which might help in establishing an energetic connection. When in a meditative state, preferably with your Kundalini raised as high as possible, you just have to reach out to the Goddess with your mind and energetically, then ask her to visit you and extend her Grace to you. Once you reach out to her, if you are ready, a visit might follow within a few days. This would work with any of her other myriad forms, some of which I mentioned in a previous post. You can just address her simply as the Goddess or even Kundalini, which is one of her forms and names. Others may prefer a more impersonal approach. It is really up to you, how you want to relate to her in your heart.

 

As for me, I connected to one of her more ancient forms through an original artefact in a museum. I was suffering the effects of a Kundalini stuck at my heart chakra and when I asked for her help, she came and saved me. I have been in contact with her ever since.

I did extend the Grace of the Goddess to you, in any case.

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@Dumuzzi thanks. I have had kundalini for the past 7 months. The main problem it causes me is severe insomnia, the energy comes on strongly during the AM

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@bobbyward how high does it go? Has it pierced all chakras or is it stuck at a particular point? When it's stuck, there should be a blunt, pulsating sensation and heat just below that area, as the serpent is trying to force itself upwards.

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@Dumuzzi I'm not sure how high it's gone. I think it has pierced all the chakras, but not sure, I feel energy all over my body, and I always have a high sensation in my mouth and jaw area 

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@bobbyward Well, it probably hasn't pierced the Sahasrara yet, that is the toughest one. There is a breaking sound and then a sensation of liquid light flooding the brain, along with a sound of flowing water, when that happens. Does it pulsate? Is there heat? If there is, are you feeling heat in your spinal column, in the center, or more to the sides?

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@Michael Paul Thank you for posting this. 
 

So firstly, I never practiced yoga, but when I do the strong determination sitting technique I sometimes experience these moments of pure joy where I seem to enter a trance of pure bliss for a little bit. 

I’ve done two littIe solo retreats this year where I did 4x 1h of SDS a day. 
And especially during the last sit I would experience this pure bliss and laughter towards the end of the hour. 

Could this be a little taste of it? 

And secondly, ever since starting a regular meditation practice, I’ve experienced a big shift in my value and a sort of ever growing rift started to manifest itself between me and my old life. 

It’s become increasingly harder to relate to people. The superficialities kind of turn me off in a way. And make me wonder if I’ll ever come back from this sense of apathy towards doing what is considered normal. 

 

 

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10 hours ago, Dumuzzi said:

@bobbyward Well, it probably hasn't pierced the Sahasrara yet, that is the toughest one. There is a breaking sound and then a sensation of liquid light flooding the brain, along with a sound of flowing water, when that happens. Does it pulsate? Is there heat? If there is, are you feeling heat in your spinal column, in the center, or more to the sides?

What can we do in advance to make kundalini awakening smooth?

I have never awakened my kundalini, but sometimes I feel heat in my spine.

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